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Self Expression Poems, stories, artwork and similar creations are great ways to let out your thoughts or feelings. Please share your work with us here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
PeaceSoundsNice Offline
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Poem - October 28th 2015, 05:01 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

(Ah, I can't title. Oh, well.)

As I'm trapped inside this tunnel,
Time and time again,
I feel like a helpless puppet
Watching all my friends

One by one, they're led so gently
Into a state of calm,
And one by one, they disappear
Do they not see something's wrong?

Sucked away into a black hole
Which they cannot escape,
And they can't hear my silent pleas
For them to flee that fate

It started with a pretty, young girl
But of course, to that she was blind,
A rain cloud came out of nowhere
And seized her from behind

Then one dear friend who didn't think
I could see him hiding his tears,
So he's gone too in a deep, dark pit
Of misery, pain and fear

Finally, a friendly rival
In whom I had high hopes,
His growing harem got to his head
He disappeared in a cloud of smoke

So what is next? I almost fear
That one day I will fall
And I will too start to fade away
It can happen to us all

So if your friends ever come to you
And say that something's off,
I beg of you, please listen to them!
Don't be like my friends and scoff


"When I'm in a pinch, you can save me, and when you're in a pinch, I'll be there for you. Friends."
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Re: Poem - October 28th 2015, 11:46 PM

The title should be, "great poem". How about, "please listen" as the title? I feel like it'd fit since it's about listening to warning signs that your friends may show or if they come to you in need. I really like this poem. The lines are creative and I like the message of the poem. Good job on this!
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Re: Poem - October 29th 2015, 12:20 PM

This is stunning! It has so much emotion in it and is very well written.


Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
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Re: Poem - October 31st 2015, 05:34 AM

This is great! Your stanzas flow so nicely. I'm speechless but in a good way.


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
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Kintsukuroi. Offline
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Re: Poem - November 2nd 2015, 05:22 AM

This is written really nicely! I really liked the third stanza but the whole poem was good.
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