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Self Expression Poems, stories, artwork and similar creations are great ways to let out your thoughts or feelings. Please share your work with us here!

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Breathe~me Offline
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Question Another Poem- 'Case Unknown' - November 30th 2014, 10:37 PM

Another poem I wrote... I want to work on the last line but it needs to rhyme with the second last and needs to have impact... whats a good word that fits well instead of 'drowned' and has impact anyone?


I can feel the frigid air meet the placid exterior of my neck,
I hear my wretched demons-which I am theirs to persecute and peck,
The air contends to choke me, with it's own cold, abhorrent hands,
And my hopeful happy soul has disintegrated with heaven's sands,
The youthfulness and innocence I pledged to myself I would protect,
Has led me to this feeling of loss and emptiness I can feel nothing but my soul-deject,

I can recollect the images, words and attitudes of the people around me,
The ones meant to be helping but rather decide to flee,
Now they wonder-why,
Her body remains placid as mourners cry,
The same ones that deemed her invisible-looked at her once but never again,
The ones that disregarded those harmless little crimson lines on her wrists- as ink from a pen,
But truth is this pen wasn't harmless- it was cold and cruel,

Even more so than the bullies that endeavoured to torment and taunt her at school,
She's nothing more than a case,
With her name as a number on a report that you'll soon efface,
She's yet another child that nobody tried to protect,
But rather deemed as an object by them which they chose to neglect,

She sent her pleas out to the world,
But many left unheard as the sky twinkled and twirled,
Now she's resting- her ruptured heart in the ground,
But after all she's just a number- isn't she?
Unknown case- drowned.


~ Words scar, Rumors destroy and bullies kill ~
~ I'm just another nobody.
~ You can't tell how much suffering is on a face that's always smiling </3
~ Be my friend.
hold me.
wrap me up.
unfold me.
I am small and needy.
Warm me up and breathe me.

❤❤❤
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subscribe to me on Youtube <3 http://www.youtube.com/user/xJustAnotherNobodyx1
Or follow me on DeviantArt
http://lostinfragility.deviantart.com/
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Re: Another Poem- 'Case Unknown' - December 1st 2014, 01:59 AM

I'm not sure what rhymes, but I do want to say that this is a really amazing poem!


Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
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Re: Another Poem- 'Case Unknown' - December 1st 2014, 02:41 AM

This is really good!




Member Since 1/15/2012
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Re: Another Poem- 'Case Unknown' - December 1st 2014, 04:37 AM

I really enjoyed reading this. Here are some words that rhyme with ground -

Bound, found, crowned, sound, round, wound, around, profound, surround.

Maybe you could say something to the affect of "her cries never made a sound" or something about answers not being found?


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
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Re: Another Poem- 'Case Unknown' - December 1st 2014, 12:11 PM

Thank you for the feedback everyone and that line sounds great thanks
Cassiopeia


~ Words scar, Rumors destroy and bullies kill ~
~ I'm just another nobody.
~ You can't tell how much suffering is on a face that's always smiling </3
~ Be my friend.
hold me.
wrap me up.
unfold me.
I am small and needy.
Warm me up and breathe me.

❤❤❤
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subscribe to me on Youtube <3 http://www.youtube.com/user/xJustAnotherNobodyx1
Or follow me on DeviantArt
http://lostinfragility.deviantart.com/
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Re: Another Poem- 'Case Unknown' - December 2nd 2014, 03:59 AM

I really like this, especially this part:
Quote:
I can feel the frigid air meet the placid exterior of my neck,
I hear my wretched demons-which I am theirs to persecute and peck,
The air contends to choke me, with it's own cold, abhorrent hands,
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