TeenHelp
Get Advice Quick Ask Support Forums Today's Posts Chat Room

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Chat and Live Help Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Safety Zone
   Hotlines
   Alternatives
   Calendar


You are not registered or have not logged in
Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!) As a guest you can submit help requests, create and reply to Forum posts, join our Chat Room and read our range of articles & resources. By registering you will be able to get fully involved in our community and enjoy features such as connect with members worldwide, add friends & send messages, express yourself through a Blog, find others with similar interests in Social Groups, post pictures and links, set up a profile and more! Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!



Self Expression Poems, stories, artwork and similar creations are great ways to let out your thoughts or feelings. Please share your work with us here!

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
¯|_(ツ)_|¯ Offline
Living the dream.

TeenHelp Superstar
**************
 
¯|_(ツ)_|¯'s Avatar
 
Name: Dez
Age: 28
Gender: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Pronouns: She/They
Location: Connecticut, USA

Posts: 20,252
Points: 175,209, Level: 59
Points: 175,209, Level: 59 Points: 175,209, Level: 59 Points: 175,209, Level: 59
Blog Entries: 176
Join Date: November 16th 2010

Untitled Poem - May 26th 2013, 01:48 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.



Bleed just to stay alive for another day.
Slice into your skin, into your feelings, into your sins.
Burn, because the fire dancing represents
All your wasted dreams, your haunted nightmares, and your new self.
Cry, because this is not what you signed up for:
A life centered around feeding the blade, the match, the knife.
To quiet the voices in your head saying
You're worthless. They die as they run crimson red down your arms.
Self harm is a way of life for you now,
There is no escaping this. You've done it this time, baby.

This one's not good at all. :/ I've written better. So I really need edits and constructive criticism. I'd love to edit this.


Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive

Last edited by ¯|_(ツ)_|¯; May 26th 2013 at 04:02 PM.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
DeletedAccount17
Guest
 
DeletedAccount17's Avatar
Edit avatar
 

Posts: n/a

Re: Untitled Poem - May 26th 2013, 08:21 AM

I always get all giddy when you post stuff. I know I'll love it. And yet again, I do! I honestly don't see how you could edit this. It's really amazing, honest.

One thing, towards the end, you have this:

Quote:
Self harm is a way of life for you now, and
There is no escaping this. You've done it this time, baby.
I think it might look better without the "and". Doesn't seem like it fits well. Otherwise, you wrote this amazingly and I don't think it needs edits. Good work, Dezzyface.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
¯|_(ツ)_|¯ Offline
Living the dream.

TeenHelp Superstar
**************
 
¯|_(ツ)_|¯'s Avatar
 
Name: Dez
Age: 28
Gender: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Pronouns: She/They
Location: Connecticut, USA

Posts: 20,252
Points: 175,209, Level: 59
Points: 175,209, Level: 59 Points: 175,209, Level: 59 Points: 175,209, Level: 59
Blog Entries: 176
Join Date: November 16th 2010

Re: Untitled Poem - May 26th 2013, 04:02 PM

Thanks! I've taken out the "and" since, you're right, it does seem better without.


Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
poem, untitled


Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


 
User Infomation
Your Avatar

Latest Articles & News
- by Halcyon
- by Rob

Advertisement



All material copyright ©1998-2024, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.