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-   -   Poem not sure what to call it (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f40-self-expression/t116885-poem-not-sure-what-call/)

Delicious Chaos March 10th 2013 10:38 AM
Poem not sure what to call it
 
Hello everyone

I SUCK at rhyming but love writing so I wrote this free verse. Tell me what you all think and if you can think of a title name. Any type of constructive criticism is more than welcome :)..

Will I ever see the sunrise again
I can’t take it anymore
Tears streaming down my face
How many times will I scream
The pain is overwhelming
You left me alone
When I needed you the most
Now my heart is broken
Into a million shards
Pinching my insides

Will I ever see the sunrise again
Day time seems too far away
I could hardly reach the moonlight

Save me from myself
Save me from the pain

Or I may never see the sunrise again

DeletedAccount17 March 10th 2013 10:41 AM
Re: Poem not sure what to call it
 
It doesn't necessarily have to rhyme to be a poem in my opinion. But I like this a lot, you did good. :)

Thereishope March 10th 2013 10:55 AM
Re: Poem not sure what to call it
 
I agree, it doesn't have to rhyme, and I like how this 1 is written as is. Keep up the great writing! :)

Lil sis March 10th 2013 03:12 PM
Re: Poem not sure what to call it
 
Call it sunrise :dem::hehe:

Rhyfelwr March 10th 2013 03:28 PM
Re: Poem not sure what to call it
 
Awesome poem! I agree with the others too, it sounds good as it is. I'd call it "Savior" or maybe "Revive". And you'll never guess what. I was in a singsong mood, so I just sung your poem :hehe:

oldaccount March 10th 2013 05:27 PM
Re: Poem not sure what to call it
 
I love writing free verse! It doesn't have to rhyme to be a poem, I agree. This is really good, and I like the title "Revive". :)

¯|_(ツ)_|¯ March 10th 2013 06:31 PM
Re: Poem not sure what to call it
 
I totally agree that poems don't have to rhyme. I think what matters most is that it conveys the emotion and gets the message across, and yours totally did that! I also like the name "Revive." You did a beautiful job!

Delicious Chaos March 11th 2013 05:24 AM
Re: Poem not sure what to call it
 
Thank you everyone :) I love writing free verse so I think I will keep writing.. Well writing and showing to people just to see what I can do :) And now thinking of it I really do like the title "Revive" :D Thank you again everyone

DeletedAccount17 March 11th 2013 10:33 AM
Re: Poem not sure what to call it
 
I'm looking forward to seeing more poems by you. :)

Rhyfelwr March 12th 2013 04:24 PM
Re: Poem not sure what to call it
 
Same here, I'm really looking forward to more! And I'm glad you like the title so much, but it does really describe the poem! :)


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