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Self Expression Poems, stories, artwork and similar creations are great ways to let out your thoughts or feelings. Please share your work with us here!

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Delicious Chaos Offline
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Poem not sure what to call it - March 10th 2013, 11:38 AM
Hello everyone

I SUCK at rhyming but love writing so I wrote this free verse. Tell me what you all think and if you can think of a title name. Any type of constructive criticism is more than welcome ..

Will I ever see the sunrise again
I can’t take it anymore
Tears streaming down my face
How many times will I scream
The pain is overwhelming
You left me alone
When I needed you the most
Now my heart is broken
Into a million shards
Pinching my insides

Will I ever see the sunrise again
Day time seems too far away
I could hardly reach the moonlight

Save me from myself
Save me from the pain

Or I may never see the sunrise again



“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
- Michael Jordan

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
- John Wooden
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Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 10th 2013, 11:41 AM
It doesn't necessarily have to rhyme to be a poem in my opinion. But I like this a lot, you did good.
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Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 10th 2013, 11:55 AM
I agree, it doesn't have to rhyme, and I like how this 1 is written as is. Keep up the great writing!
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Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 10th 2013, 04:12 PM
Call it sunrise

Delete this account
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Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 10th 2013, 04:28 PM
Awesome poem! I agree with the others too, it sounds good as it is. I'd call it "Savior" or maybe "Revive". And you'll never guess what. I was in a singsong mood, so I just sung your poem
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Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 10th 2013, 06:27 PM
I love writing free verse! It doesn't have to rhyme to be a poem, I agree. This is really good, and I like the title "Revive".
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Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 10th 2013, 07:31 PM
I totally agree that poems don't have to rhyme. I think what matters most is that it conveys the emotion and gets the message across, and yours totally did that! I also like the name "Revive." You did a beautiful job!

Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
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Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 11th 2013, 06:24 AM
Thank you everyone I love writing free verse so I think I will keep writing.. Well writing and showing to people just to see what I can do And now thinking of it I really do like the title "Revive" Thank you again everyone



“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
- Michael Jordan

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
- John Wooden
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Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 11th 2013, 11:33 AM
I'm looking forward to seeing more poems by you.
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Re: Poem not sure what to call it - March 12th 2013, 05:24 PM
Same here, I'm really looking forward to more! And I'm glad you like the title so much, but it does really describe the poem!
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