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Self Expression Poems, stories, artwork and similar creations are great ways to let out your thoughts or feelings. Please share your work with us here!

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So I wrote a poem type thing at like 4am last night - September 23rd 2012, 07:14 AM
This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

It's probably really bad but yeah can you tell me what you think?

1 cut 2 cuts 3 cuts 4,
Watch the blood drip on the floor.
5 cuts 6 cuts 7 cuts 8,
Try to keep your vision straight.
9 cuts 10 cuts 11 cuts 12,
further into her mind we will delve.
12 cuts 11 cuts 10 cuts 9,
Try to cut a nice straight line.
8 cuts 7 cuts 6 cuts 5,
She doesn't want to be alive.
4 cuts 3 cuts 2 cuts 1,
Now her pulse just sits at none.
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Re: So I wrote a poem type thing at like 4am last night - September 23rd 2012, 08:44 AM
It is pretty good. Great flow to it keep it up.

Jay.

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Re: So I wrote a poem type thing at like 4am last night - September 23rd 2012, 12:23 PM
I like the repetative rhythm with the numbers.

"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
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Re: So I wrote a poem type thing at like 4am last night - September 23rd 2012, 01:48 PM
I like it too. I agree with Total Light Storm.

"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
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Re: So I wrote a poem type thing at like 4am last night - September 23rd 2012, 02:10 PM
I like this a lot! It's brilliant!
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Re: So I wrote a poem type thing at like 4am last night - September 23rd 2012, 02:17 PM
I like how you counted up AND down, and the repativeness and rhyme to it.

If you're looking for a sign not to kill yourself tonight, this is it.
"May the odds be ever in your favour"
"A strong person is one who can smile this morning like they weren't crying last night."
Your never alone, I'm always here for you. Shoot me a VM or PM.
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Re: So I wrote a poem type thing at like 4am last night - September 24th 2012, 11:03 PM
ahh thank you
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Re: So I wrote a poem type thing at like 4am last night - September 25th 2012, 01:30 AM
I'll have to mirror what everyone else said, I liked the use of the numbers and the pattern, awesome job! The last bit was my favourite.

Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
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Re: So I wrote a poem type thing at like 4am last night - September 29th 2012, 10:38 PM
thank you
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