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What do you think of my poem?
Hey guys,
I'm fairly new here. I love to write and this is one of my newest poems. Tell me what you think. It's called "Broken Beyond Repair" I cannot let go of the past. I'm always contemplating which day should be my last. Life is a beautiful lie, death is the ugly truth. It's all about fighting the battles of your youth. I wish I was someone other than me. I'm fighting to make the mirror happy. The weight I lose is never enough. This is life, It's time to get tough. While I'm starving to be thin, I cut to release the pain from within. As I watch my pain bleed out, I am silent, but I want to shout. Anxiety makes me unable to breathe. Screw this life, I want to leave. Anxiety keeps me up all night. I don't have much more of a fight. I hide my depression with a smile. As life flashes before me, I'm in denial. Everything looks so bleak. I am tired, and so weak. I'm tired of living in this hell. I wish this was my last farewell. I live my life in constant doubt. Suicide seems like the only way out. I lost the battle, not the war. Someday, recovery will come knocking at my door. |
Re: What do you think of my poem?
This is really good! I love it. I can totally feel the emotion in this. I really love the last 2 lines.
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Re: What do you think of my poem?
I think it's great! You're a really talented writer.
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Re: What do you think of my poem?
You're a very talented writer, I especially love the last two lines :)
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Re: What do you think of my poem?
Thanks :) If you'd like, I'll post more but move in into a different part of the forums
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Re: What do you think of my poem?
This is amazing! You're really talented, i'd love to read more poems.
The part that stood out the most to me is, "It's all about fighting battles with your youth" That brought back memories. Keep writing. |
Re: What do you think of my poem?
Thanks for all the good feedback :) I've posted another one under 'self expression' It's called 'Silent Screams' I will post poems as often as I can. I would like feedback on that, too please.
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Re: What do you think of my poem?
I love it. I love to write, too. I wrote a poem book (Called Schizophrenic) and put it on Figment. If you don't know what figment is, know what it is cause it's awesome!
Anyway, I know writing always helps me.. You're talented, grasshopper. :3 |
Re: What do you think of my poem?
i love it! ur great @ writing poems ;)
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Re: What do you think of my poem?
I love it! Keep it UP!
Jay. |
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