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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Question Peace (another poem I wrote) - June 10th 2012, 03:33 AM

This is another poem I wrote over the weekend and I need some honest to goodness opinions. Constructive criticism is encouraged and please don't tell me it's good if it's not because no offense but that doesn't really help. Thanks do much sorry if I was harsh. all comments are welcome.


Peace

Calm
Filling your soul
Bubbling up
Like a brook*
After a heavy storm
Warm
Like assfault in summer
Comforting
Like a favorite stuffed toy
A constant reminder
Of childhoods past
Indescribable*
Like a sudden calm in your heart
Knowing inside*
You will be safe for another day
The dark clouds roll away
The thunder subsides
And you can finally sleep
All is well until the morning comes
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Re: Peace (another poem I wrote) - June 10th 2012, 06:52 PM

I love this
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Re: Peace (another poem I wrote) - June 10th 2012, 07:10 PM

I love the flow of this. Check spellcheck on a few words and you're golden!



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Re: Peace (another poem I wrote) - June 10th 2012, 07:46 PM

You're really talented. Wow.





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Re: Peace (another poem I wrote) - June 11th 2012, 01:47 AM

I like this a lot! I agree with everyone.


Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
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