Explaining Religion to a Child

[Jocelyn.]

To the atheists of TH: How do you plan to explain religion to your future (or current?) children? Also, since is it the most prevailing religion in my area, and most debated on the forums, how do you plan to handle the topic of Christianity in particular?

I have an 18 month old son and am an atheist. Even though I don't believe that most religions hold any truth to them myself, I want him to be cultured in the area of religion because it is a predominant aspect of society. Not to mention, my son has religious grandparents as well as future religious classmates I'm sure, so the topic will get brought up eventually. I have so many opinions on religion, especially Christianity, and I'm having trouble "dumbing it down" to where is would be simple for a child to understand from an adult athiest's point of view.

Also, for atheists with religious family members: How would you handle religious relatives disagreeing with raising your child not to believe in a god?

[Xujhan]

"Some people believe X, others believe Y, still more believe Z. I don't believe in any of these for reasons A, B and C, but ultimately there no way to prove one position correct and I'll love you no matter which you choose," is probably the best explanation for a young child. How much detail you give on the religions and their counterarguments will just depend on age; a four-year old probably isn't going to be interested in philosophical arguments.

As for religious relatives, I think that simply asking that they respect your right to raise your child free from indoctrination is really not something that can be argued with, although depending on how religious your relatives are they might try to argue the point.

[forfrosne]

Originally Posted by ball&chain

To the atheists of TH: How do you plan to explain religion to your future (or current?) children? Also, since is it the most prevailing religion in my area, and most debated on the forums, how do you plan to handle the topic of Christianity in particular?

I have an 18 month old son and am an atheist. Even though I don't believe that most religions hold any truth to them myself, I want him to be cultured in the area of religion because it is a predominant aspect of society. Not to mention, my son has religious grandparents as well as future religious classmates I'm sure, so the topic will get brought up eventually. I have so many opinions on religion, especially Christianity, and I'm having trouble "dumbing it down" to where is would be simple for a child to understand from an adult athiest's point of view.

Also, for atheists with religious family members: How would you handle religious relatives disagreeing with raising your child not to believe in a god?

I will not directly talk to him about any specific religions. I want my children to be as well-informed as possible: if they decide, having been well-informed, that they want to be Christian or Atheist etc., then that's fine, I won't mind - all that matters to me is that they make their decisions well-informed. I'll let his school's Religious Studies lessons teach him what he needs to know about these religions, and then if he wants to know more from me he's welcome to.

[Heretic]

From a human perspective, it's impossible to be completely subjective about religion. I wouldn't talk about it unless my child specifically asked me a question about it. And my answer would be mostly focused on the direction of his or her question.

If my child asks a "why" or "how" question about Christianity (or any other faith, for that matter), my answer will probably be in three parts: The first part will be an explanation according to the beliefs of the faithful, with basis in religious text and tradition. The second part will be my personal explanation of why I disbelieve (or believe) these accounts, with my own thoughts, ideas, and theories (molded to the understanding of the child's age). The third will be an explanation of subjective and objective ways to view religion, and about how it's impossible to prove anyone (including myself) truly "right" or "wrong".

[thebigmole]

My parents never talked to me about religion. Even though I had religious family members (outside my immediate family) I never even knew what religion was until I was 10. I learned about religion through school, it was a part of history classes, through that I did my own research and came to my own opinions about religion. I never even brought the subject up to my parents until a few years after I realized I was an atheist. So I say let it be, but if your kid asks then explain the best you can. You don't have to get into what you personally believe, just talk to them as if you were teaching a history class and came across the topic of religion.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

I would tell my future child that I wouldn't mind whatever he/she believes in as long as it makes him/her happy, understand it and don't push it on everyone they see. Also, I'd always remind them that no religion has any actual proof in my view and regardless of their religious choice, I'd love them nonetheless.

Since your kid is 18 months, he cannot understand nor appreciate what any religion truly is. Instead, what I'd do for my future child would be put them into a religious class(es) at school. I would always encourage them to ask questions and if he/she asked me a question about religion, I would answer it as best as I could while "dumbing down" the content so they could understand it.

As for religious relatives, I'd tell them that I'm going to raise my child in a healthy way as I see fit and would appreciate they don't attempt to indoctrinate him/her. If they do attempt to, I'd remind them that although I do want my child to learn of religions, I don't want him/her to know only of one religion and no others. I'd let them educate but not indoctrinate him/her. If they refuse and keep indoctrinating him/her, I'd tell them to go fist themselves and if they want the child to develop in a healthy relationship, they quit what they're doing, otherwise I'll go as far as allowing them to see him/her only when I'm present in the immediate area.

[Marguerite]

I think many of the Atheists I've talked to in real life have kind of an idealistic view when it comes to this. I've heard many say they're going to teach them about all religions and non-religion and then leave it up to them. But for one, what do you consider 'all religions' because that's probably going to take a couple of years. And two, just because a kid asks if god exists or how the world was made or w/e doesn't mean they want a 5 hour lecture on the history of religion. Or that they have the attention span/ capacity to understand such things.

Many also say they wouldn't care if their child was religious, but I think a lot are kind of bullshitting and would actually be annoyed if there kid wanted to be a Christian. I'm sure they wouldn't say "That's stupid, you're wrong" but it would be more along the lines of "well why do you believe that? There isn't any proof...it isn't logical. Christians have done a lot of bad things throughout history" blah blah blah. And saying that to a child is just the same as saying "You're wrong."

Personally I would just keep it brief (unless they asked about it in further detail). I guess I would just say "Well some people believe in X, some people believe in X, or X. Nobody really knows though."

Personally I wouldn't care if my kid was religious because I don't really have anything against Christianity (or any other religion). Realistically though it's kind of unlikely that a kid would grow up in a household that isn't religious then suddenly start believing in one religion or another.

[Doodle.]

My dad actually told me "don't believe everything you hear" when I was about 5. People say I was a bit too young for him to tell me that but I thank him.

I would tell my child that people follow different religions and believe different things but I personally don't. I would tell him/her it's fine if s/he's religious or not.

Edit: Actually, no. I wouldn't care if my child was Christian. I WOULD care if their form of Christianity turned into the Westboro Baptist Church's though.

My parents are Buddhists and I'm an Atheist. It doesn't bother any of us.

[Jocelyn.]

Thanks everyone for your input. I just get a little too paranoid about how well I'll handle his questions when he gets old enough to start asking things about religion. I've never had much experience with kids besides the experience I'm getting with my own, so him being able to communicate with me one day is a little scary sometimes lol . Obviously I didn't want to sit him down at 5 years old and say "Ok Timmy(that's not his name btw ), we're going to start having in-depth 5 hour discussions on the predominant religions of the world and why they are all wrong and we're right" lol. I just wasn't sure how to tell a child that Mom and Dad don't believe things a lot of other people do without sounding completely biased.

[Fictional]

Originally Posted by Xujhan

"Some people believe X, others believe Y, still more believe Z. I don't believe in any of these for reasons A, B and C, but ultimately there no way to prove one position correct and I'll love you no matter which you choose," is probably the best explanation for a young child. How much detail you give on the religions and their counterarguments will just depend on age; a four-year old probably isn't going to be interested in philosophical arguments.

As for religious relatives, I think that simply asking that they respect your right to raise your child free from indoctrination is really not something that can be argued with, although depending on how religious your relatives are they might try to argue the point.

I'd just be repeating this if I explained my own plans. I'm also open to my child going to church if that's what they want, despite the fact that I myself am an atheist. I'd ask a christian neighbour to take them (which is what I've done for myself several times) and if I couldn't find one, then I'd take them myself.

[Snufkin]

I'm more agnostic than athiest. I wouldn't be happy with anyone enforcing their beliefs on to my child at a young age, as certain family members of mine are doing right now (which I completely disagree with). My primary school had us sing songs at assemblies from hymn books which, looking back at, I totally disagree with as well.

If my child were to grow up informed of religion and chose to practice one, then that's fine. I would encourage them to stay open minded, constantly seek to learn about religion and faith, and make their own decisions. For something so personal, nothing should influence you apart from yourself. I think making a child a certain religion from such a young age by baptising them or Christening them or whatever is just stupid, you're making them become a part of something they have no choice over.