caught between my religion and bisexuality.

[formerly chevyguy350]

tht pretty much says it all. and my life sucks. i h8 it. every bf in my life has hurt me. of the 2 gfs ive had 1 abandoned me when it got hard. ugh. i dont know what to do anymore. ive done everything. cursed god for what hes done to me and not believed in him. but i cant not believe anymore. everything turns me back to him. but i cant not like guys.and now im just tryin to trust god. everything is gettin better in my head. i can finally control myself. and everythings gettin harder and i wanna die and im soo hooked on speed now. and im finally able to go a fuckin week w/o it. i just dont know what to do.

[Jacksonian]

Hey there devin. I've been following your posts as close as I can. You say everything turns you back to Him. Its a sign. Just trust in Him and try to do your part in following Him which means believing in Him. That is a sure sign that you should follow Him and He is calling to you.

[formerly chevyguy350]

thing is i feel i need t change but dont kno how

[Jacksonian]

You see that need you feel is what you only need to change. The rest is for Him to do but you have to trust Him, believe in Him which you already are doing. Say a prayer and read His word. Entrust yourself to Him and trust in Him and He will guide you.

PS : You can't change by your own power only He can do that. But you feeling this is your soul trying to reach to Him. If you want, I can give you a prayer to say.

Yeah... God generally doesn't change your sexual orientation And you can't change your orientation. Now depending who you talk to, there are two main, reasonable and rational views on being not straight and Christian, the first is the less controversial one. Simple remain celibate. If you are bi, then I suppose 'remain celibate out of heterosexual marriage'. If anyone even tries to suggest God forbids non-heterosexual orientation in the Bible, ask them to show this verse. Sexual orientation, that isnt acted upon, is not address seperately from the sins of the heart involving heterosexuality (lust). So there is no Biblical suggest gay lust is any different from straight lust. And lust doesnt cover all attraction btw.

Second views is a gay affirming one, which is based the concept that the (at least modernish) church has read interperatations into verses and translations that didn't previously exist. The LGBT forum has a fair amount of links to websites addressing the gay & Christian issue, and its worth checking out. But I dont have time to fully explain this.

But anyway, if you are called to follow God, follow him. The point is, you only need God because you are a sinner. And whether or not having sex with boys is a sin, I'm pretty sure that isn't the only issue of sin in your life. And if you are following God, this are things you address. You don't wait till you rid yourself of sin to follow God, you follow God and in turn rid yourself of sin, because it simply can't be done the other way around. Nor do you need to

[formerly chevyguy350]

im also not so sure how much of me bein bi isnt this HUGE fear of abandonment from girls so im scared to get too attached.and i dont have that fear with guys and im more at ease but so tense with girls. but with guys i trust too much. i hhad a 18 yr old bf at 14. and he told me to go to his bedroom. and he had every ounce of my trust. then he walks out and says he never liked me. but yet thats the only time i was ever abandoned by a guy.