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-   -   Not a great birthday... (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f37-birthdays/t102808-not-great-birthday/)

Drenn May 29th 2012 08:42 PM
Not a great birthday...
 
I skipped my first period dissection in bio, which oddly isn't because I have problems with actually dissecting a rat, but I'm just so horrible at taking SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS. I never do things quite right. And I get the typical feeling that people are waiting for me to make a mistake, which can't be true. But even though I skipped I felt too bad to do anything. I skipped for no good reason, I'm still not really sure why I did it, just general anxiety I suppose...

I doubt I'll be getting nice presents, since I didn't ask for anything in particular. I have tons of video games, too many, I shouldn't want them for the sake of newness... I don't know what I want. And I've still got summatives to do for school. Yeah... this isn't my favorite birthday so far. It seems to me birthdays aren't so important as they used to be.

Solivagant June 1st 2012 05:51 PM
Re: Not a great birthday...
 
Hey Matthew :)

Firstly, belated Happy Birthday!! :balloons:

We all can't be good at every single thing. Some people are good at dissection, others are good at sports or singing or dancing. We all have our areas of perfection. It is perfectly okay to not be good at something. It is a very normal thing.

Thinking too much about the issue will only increase your anxiety. Instead of thinking about messing up the instructions, just think about giving it your best shot. The idea is to think about it differently. In such situations I try to think about what I'd think about someone who messes up. And when I realize that it won't even matter, it calms me down.

Now about your birthday, you can try doing things differently. Give a new meaning to this day. Usually on my birthdays, the first thing I do is visit the Temple and thank God for everything that I have. For my 18th birthday I have plans to donate blood. You can spend your day at orphanage and do something for the kids over there or give them some of your old videos that you don't need anymore. The idea is to look beyond material things.

I hope that this helps.
If you need to talk about anything, feel free to VM/PM me.
Take care :hug:

MadPoet June 1st 2012 06:10 PM
Re: Not a great birthday...
 
Hey Matthew,

We're birthday twins! I turned 17 on the 29th too :)

To be honest my birthday was pretty much like any other day. I went to school, dealt with annoying people, came home, and did absolutely nothing. I'm waiting till tomorrow to actually celebrate, mostly because we didn't actually have any money to do anything.. I haven't gotten any gifts yet besides a gift card and a pair of flip flops.

I guess the point is that you're not alone. When I was younger birthdays seemed to be the highlight of the year. But now they kind of just seem redundant and boring. But I think that it's definitely what you make it. Nothing has changed, just our attitudes. I've never really done anything too special on my birthday. Usually I go out to dinner with my family and just spend time with the people I love. To me, that's enough, and that's what I want to do. So why not find something you like to do with others or just for yourself, and focus on that this weekend? Spend time with people you care about, or do something special for yourself. It's not too late to celebrate, that's what I'm doing. Don't take the little things for granted, there's tons of things to do to have fun.

If nothing else, try looking forward to the next year. To me birthdays are kind of like your own new year. I always look back and realize how different I am than I was a year ago, and I look forward to feeling the same way my next birthday. In reality it's not really the birthday that counts, but the way you spend the year until your next one. That probably sounds silly, but it's true. In a year from now you won't be remembering what your last birthday was like, you'll be remembering how you spent the time between them.

Take some time to celebrate this weekend, you're only seventeen once! It's not too late to have a good time :)

Drenn June 3rd 2012 02:41 AM
Re: Not a great birthday...
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Childish Giggle (Post 887682)
Hey Matthew :)

Firstly, belated Happy Birthday!! :balloons:

We all can't be good at every single thing. Some people are good at dissection, others are good at sports or singing or dancing. We all have our areas of perfection. It is perfectly okay to not be good at something. It is a very normal thing.

Thinking too much about the issue will only increase your anxiety. Instead of thinking about messing up the instructions, just think about giving it your best shot. The idea is to think about it differently. In such situations I try to think about what I'd think about someone who messes up. And when I realize that it won't even matter, it calms me down.
I definitely overreacted to the situation, I just had my mind set on not going to class that day. I know, these little things don't matter so much in the scheme of things, and I wouldn't blame someone else for making a mistake. I probably would have done ok if I'd done it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Childish Giggle (Post 887682)
Now about your birthday, you can try doing things differently. Give a new meaning to this day. Usually on my birthdays, the first thing I do is visit the Temple and thank God for everything that I have. For my 18th birthday I have plans to donate blood. You can spend your day at orphanage and do something for the kids over there or give them some of your old videos that you don't need anymore. The idea is to look beyond material things.

I hope that this helps.
If you need to talk about anything, feel free to VM/PM me.
Take care :hug:
Well, as for looking beyond material things, I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Birthdays to me have always been about getting new gadgets or video games. This year I asked for nothing in particular. Shiny new stuff is getting to be a distraction from, well, everything else. The problem is finding other stuff to replace it. My everyday life skills are lacking; learning to cook, do laundry, etc. could be good things to do instead, for part of my spare time anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MadPoet (Post 887691)
Hey Matthew,

We're birthday twins! I turned 17 on the 29th too :)

To be honest my birthday was pretty much like any other day. I went to school, dealt with annoying people, came home, and did absolutely nothing. I'm waiting till tomorrow to actually celebrate, mostly because we didn't actually have any money to do anything.. I haven't gotten any gifts yet besides a gift card and a pair of flip flops.

I guess the point is that you're not alone. When I was younger birthdays seemed to be the highlight of the year. But now they kind of just seem redundant and boring. But I think that it's definitely what you make it. Nothing has changed, just our attitudes. I've never really done anything too special on my birthday. Usually I go out to dinner with my family and just spend time with the people I love. To me, that's enough, and that's what I want to do. So why not find something you like to do with others or just for yourself, and focus on that this weekend? Spend time with people you care about, or do something special for yourself. It's not too late to celebrate, that's what I'm doing. Don't take the little things for granted, there's tons of things to do to have fun.

If nothing else, try looking forward to the next year. To me birthdays are kind of like your own new year. I always look back and realize how different I am than I was a year ago, and I look forward to feeling the same way my next birthday. In reality it's not really the birthday that counts, but the way you spend the year until your next one. That probably sounds silly, but it's true. In a year from now you won't be remembering what your last birthday was like, you'll be remembering how you spent the time between them.

Take some time to celebrate this weekend, you're only seventeen once! It's not too late to have a good time :)
Happy belated birthday to you!

Thanks for the input. I'd like to be able to say that I've grown as a person between now and next year. I'm not sure I can say this much since turning 16 last year, which might be partly why I didn't enjoy my birthday so much. My proper party will be at a later time, still to be determined. Though it is feeling redundant, so I hope my family is only thinking of a small thing.


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