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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
This hurt so much because I still love you. You've convinced so many people, and maybe even yourself, that I always lied when I told you I loved you but I never did. I love you and I fucking hate myself for breaking your heart. Tonight, it hurts so bad that I want to die. Instead I'm holding ice cubes in my hands (like my therapist told me to, but in all honesty, I'm going to end up cutting anyway) and drinking. I finally got in contact with the eating disorder clinic and at the support group, I know they'll put me into the anorexia group and I'll be the fattest one there and I'll act like everything is okay but it's not and I'll stop eating anything. I'm not eating much to begin with. I know you worried about that. I think you did at least.
I love you, and I destroyed both of us when I broke up with you. I'm sorry. I fucking hate me too. I'm sorry. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I can't help but feel like you've stopped talking to me because you're going to let me go for something I will never see coming. It probably has NOTHING to do with me, but until I have my answer and my 90 day review, I'm going to be paranoid, and I won't apologize for it. If something is wrong, please tell me while I can fix it. All the positive feedback is amazing (partly because I'm not used to it), but that means the bad stuff will come out of nowhere, and it's not like I haven't asked!
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I wish you didn't fight.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
Please don't cancel our session, the further out I get from it, the more I'm starting to want it again which is only a tiny piece of what made losing it so traumatic! HELP
Whether I get to keep my job or not, I can't wait for my 90 days to end so you finally leave me alone. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I hate everything right now!!!
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I shpuldnt have had to agree to anything. You were abusing me.
What part of avoiding her at all costs are you not understanding?! Just because I live with you, I'm the only ADULT in this family who doesn't get this choice! I get guilt tripped instead. No, I don't want to go early! (Not to mention the laundry wouldn't get done if we did) After the week I had, I don't want to go at all, but it's the only way to get a haircut I hope you learned that whistling at me to get my attention doesn't work! In my defense, we have a bird and most people have enough manners to say excuse me! |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I'm hurting so much and you'll never realize it or acknowledge it.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
You should have let me go yesterday. I can't believe I was just twenty minutes from it while everything was going on. Don't you understand? No, you don't.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
You just said it’s so typical for me not to eat. How have you still not figured it out?
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
i am not ok. i feel agitated. i do impulsive things. i am drug addicted to avoid feeling the depression.
it's not only her feeling bad. i feel like a false positive. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I miss you. I miss you so much that I even miss the stupid fights we had. :(
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
Everyone is driving me crazy!
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
Right now the last thing I need is yet another person I'm attracted to that isn't attracted to me.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I wish I could you dad...I wish I could tell you what I'm going through.
But you wouldn't understand. I do think you would try. But you're to...you. You're not the kind of person who understands how much words can hurt someone. I don't think you understand what it was like for me to lose my mother...or to leave my home for Texas. I still love you, and I wish you knew what I was going through. But I could never tell you and I don't think you could ever understand. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
Please display more maturity in your thinking.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I miss you. And it hurts I'll never see you again.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
No one in your own field can believe what you did and have called you "cruel" among other things. I think we can safely say you f***ed me over. Now, if you would only admit it and that I'm not the only one. But I know you never will.
I know that you know I'm right because you are FINALLY discussing doing with her what I've been suggesting for YEARS now. If you had listened to me then, maybe we wouldn't be here, but this is what you get for being in denial, making excuses for the inexcusable, and letting her guilt trip the s*** out of you. Good job! |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
You said I’m obviously not eating enough if I’m failing to maintain the weight I’m at. But I can’t eat anymore. I can’t do it. I’m so ashamed to tell my therapist I lost more weight, but eating isn’t possible. I’m not underweight. I’m healthy. Please let me believe I’m still healthy.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I’m trying to maintain a healthy weight. I’m really trying to not lose anymore. People are noticing, I have to stop losing but eating isn’t possible. Eating enough to maintain isn’t possible. I’m afraid that I’m going to fade into nothing.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
NO ONE enjoys dealing with her, but you have to. YOU are the ones who have to force the change, which means you actually have to DO something. And don't give her all of the food I like because she just happened to eat it once. I like it too, and it was bought for us, not all for her.
I'm sorry, I can't love you right now. Your behavior combined with my situation makes it impossible. You're the one who has to change; I can only control myself. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
You don't have to understand somebody's identity or experience for it to be valid. You also probably shouldn't go out of your way to flaunt your ignorance like that. If you don't understand something, do some research to see if that helps. And if it doesn't, just remember that your broad sweeping generalisations apply to real people who have real feelings and probably have enough negativity in their lives without an inconsiderate stranger adding to it. Let people live their lives the way they want to and stop being so bitter about things that don't even affect you. Everyone will be better off for it.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
How about you don't ask me in an accusatory tone why I didn't manage to get to everything by myself during a short shift when you have NO IDEA how much there was?! That will keep me from "yelling" at you.
Why are you shocked that I'm not going to a wake for a man I never met, never heard about, wasn't related to, and didn't even know his name until 5 minutes ago?! I was only going because you were going to force me. I still don't know why you feel the need to go so badly. He was your sister-in-law's father and they weren't even close! |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
One.
I want our skating errands to never end. I want to stare into your eyes and laugh with you. You don't know how heartbroken I am each time we have to part ways. Two. I find this undecisiveness of mine rather exasperating. I honestly can't even decide if I dislike you or not. Your way of acting annoys me, but impresses at the same time, and the way you sometimes look at me makes me wonder who I am to you. Three. A person I used to call my best friend (and would love to be able to still do it...) isn't interested in keeping in touch with me anymore. I hadn't expected that now I'd be relying on you. I know you have a similar relationship with many people and they adore you for that, but so do I. Thank you for being there for me. Even though I can't tell you many things it's still an invaluable support. Four. I'd love to spend each starry night with you, gal, wandering through the streets of our city or sipping bubble tea and doodling. And chatting about lads we'll never get. I feel so safe when I'm with you. Five. You're so impressively intelligent. You're the most intelligent person I know. But... to be honest, I feel awkward when I talk to you. I'm sorry. I don't think we're the most suitable interlocutors for each other. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
i wish you could see how incredibly overwhelmed i am with all of this. even my job that i used to love. i don't know how long i can still keep on doing this. the hiding, the mental health problems, the lies.
i don't know if i should be put into a psych ward. but i am seriously thinking about it and i probably should but there's more things i gotta tell you. i've been addicted to heroin for over a month now and i keep on buying more. and i'll find more ways to get to it. i am sorry i disappointed each and everyone of you who thought I was the strong and sane one in this family. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
It still matters because it still hurts; it still hurts because it still scares me. You promised me when I was little that you’d protect me from all the monsters, and now I’m left wondering if that truly only meant the ones under my bed. It’s been four years since he hit me, I get that everyone else would be over it. But it took me three years to ever say anything about it and it hurts so much that our brother is friends with him. And last night I had to see him, and I told our sister what happened and why I needed to leave. But we couldn’t leave yet and my skin crawls just seeing him. Both of our brothers were there, but I still felt unsafe. Last time I was by him, I had J. But we broke up and he hurt me too.
Is there just something about me that makes me easy to hurt? Easy to manipulate? The three men I’ve pursued in the past six years have all manipulated me to some extent. D was the worst, and he’s the one I had to see. M began using manipulation after I ended everything. And J? Maybe he was the worst because he’s the only one I fell in love with so I dealt with shit so much longer than I should have. I’m swearing off dating for awhile, I obviously don’t know how to do it. You’re my sister, and all I want is for you to care about me. I know you do, I know you were tired last night, but that comment still hurt. It still matters because it still hurts me, and that should be a good enough reason. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I can't be bothered? I feel bad saying that to you, but I feel sorry for you as well. You don't realise that you aren't that far off from the people you don't like. I hope I'm wrong. Please prove me wrong.
I wish we could be together. I miss how we used to be. I'm scared of trying to go back to that, because I am now just convincing myself that you probably like someone else by now anyway...hence the distance? I feel like crap. I hate not telling you everything, especially if you are serious about wanting to know about my life. But I can't tell you this. I just wish that you could reassure me, that you do love me, and that you aren't going to leave me...rather than me trying to reassure myself, which feels like a never ending battle. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
See how well I can treat my fellow humans when they treat me like one?! You ruined my life for no reason and there's no coming back from it.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
Thank you so much.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
The way you're handling this is essentially the way you accused me of handling the previous issue, and can you really not see the problem with that? Doesn't it seem the least bit hypocritical to you? You can't expect me to find it fair that you're doing the exact things that you seemed to find so reprehensible when I supposedly did them. That's not how this whole "communication" thing is supposed to work.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
How is it that I know better than you in less than 3 months?! We need 2 people in the area every shift so WHY can't or won't you do it?! I don't want to complain while I'm still in my trial period, but I'm starting to resent constantly doing it alone and that I'm the only one giving up both days of every weekend when no one else is. You said when you hired me, you wanted the division to be fair and it isn't. And this had better NOT be because my disability was disclosed partially against my will by someone else! And I would've actually said something except, I'm still on probation and was about to SNAP after working 6 days in a row and I know better than to talk to a manager under those circumstances.
I am 99.9% sure you will never truly take responsibility for everything After everything that happened the ONLY thing I am sure of is that you will never fully comprehend the damage you did. |
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
You notice that I lost weight. You notice my hair is really thin. You notice I’m tired and irritable. Please, just put the pieces together already. I can’t do anything to recover until you figure it out.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I feel so sad and down! I don't know what to do.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I heard you talk about your plans to get him over his “bitchy ex.” Did you know I was there? Did you know I was close enough to hear you? I heard your insults at me. I heard everything. And my heart is breaking all over again.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I don't know if you'll be there today or not. If you are I'm sure I will see you and say hello, maybe a chat a bit, but what I really want to tell you is that I miss you. I have always loved you and I regret losing you. I want to be friends again but I don't know how; you're so big on emotional health and boundaries that I feel like if I tell you the slightest thing is wrong you'll pull away from me and I don't know if I can be friends with someone like that. I don't know if you even want to be friends with me. I haven't known what you've wanted for a long time.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
Considering that I requested my normal days off (in plenty of time even though I forgot to date the note), you'd better grant them. I only had to ask because you decide to randomly change my schedule every 5 seconds without notice and the self service option is blocked until after the new year.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I wish you were here to see the fireworks. Even if you were ill, you would've loved to stand at the window and see them. We have a good view of them this year. You would love them. Thinking of you.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I didn't lie to you, but I didn't tell you the whole truth either. I'm not ready to do that yet. But thank you for understanding what I did feel comfortable telling you. Maybe someday I'll tell you the rest.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I'm going to let this go because I know you and I know you're in severe pain, but did you really suggest that this was my fault? I already went through the rabbit hole from hell regarding my responsibility before I got to you. Please don't make me go through it again!
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I wish you could love me. I wish that even if you don't love me now that you would see me as someone worth trying to love, someone to want a familial relationship wit. But j have to accept the bitter truth. That you don fin me wOrth investing tI'm aND energy on. It ia killing me inside. I can't do it
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face.
I didn't like you yelling at me yesterday! It made me feel so sad.
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