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Re: Say something you wish you could say... Volume 2! -
October 27th 2009, 10:17 PM
You,
SHUT UP AND STOP FUCKING TEXTING ME. I know you like me, but I don't like you like that. And I don't have unlimited texting. PLEASE!!! You're going to get me in deeper shit than I'm already in.
You,
I like you, alot. You're so easy to be around, to talk to, to be me around, and it's beautiful, no other guys can do that for me. You are beautiful, everything you say, everything you do. I wish I could tell you how I feel, take control and ask you if you feel like I do, but I don't want to ruin a great freindship...I don't know anything about this stuff, do you?
To you,
Get the fuck off of my back. You can't tell me to change my perspective on life. You don't know an ounce of the shit I go through, abuse, cutting, you don't know anything. NOTHING. Stop acting like you know who I am and get the fuck over yourself. I know I can't get through it by myself, but you aren't helping, you're making it worse. So get the fuck off of my back and leave me alone, you're not important to me, I don't need you. Not at all.
All but a few of you,
You don't know. You can't know. You wouldn't understand. I cut. Why do you think I never, ever show my arms or thighs? But I can't tell you that. Becuase you wouldn't understand and it would make everything worse. It would lead to something worse than before, which by my therapist's words, was "some serious cutting..."
And to you,
I love you. Please don't leave, I need you alive because I love you. I want you to stay. I wish you could stay. Please try. Hang on, please...
To Cancer,
FUCK YOU.
To the World,
What's wrong? Where is the love? The beauty? The truth? Where is any of it? Where is the world that nobody lets anybody else see? Where? I want to see the REAL world. Not all of this crap.
Re: Say something you wish you could say... Volume 2! -
October 28th 2009, 10:08 AM
To the world: your overembellishment kills me. Forgive me for being an asshole?
To her: you obviously know how much I like you. But everything's spinning right now, and I don't know what to think. You're the first person I trust in so long. I wish I could just be your friend, and not think about spending time with you like I am. You've got me tied in knots... and I hate how easy I've fallen. I love that I'm still falling, but some things are better left alone. I think this is one of them. Maybe it's best we go our seperate ways.
To the other her: You screwed my sister over. You're a hypocrite, and I hate you. You're not welcome in this house anymore.
To mum: I hope it's not cancer.
To dad: Mum wants a divorce.
To my nan: Hang in there. Just until we come see you before you pass. I'm going to miss you.
To the Nelson Nutter: Give me back my money, bitch.
Re: Say something you wish you could say... Volume 2! -
October 28th 2009, 03:27 PM
I hope I don’t have to sent this. It’s barely past 10 AM and I’m writing this, thinking I probably well but hoping I don’t…hoping that you call or come online to talk to me. It’s my birthday. And it’s not really a big deal…birthdays… I mean it’s not a huge thing like it was when I was a kid. But still…I’m 21 today.
And I don’t like the fact that I’m sitting here thinking that I’m not going to hear from my boyfriend. I don’t like that I don’t feel like I can count on that…I don’t like that on Monday night when you promised you’d call yesterday, that I didn’t expect you to. That when I didn’t hear from you…I wasn’t surprised….I’m not mad. Just sad. Hurt. And I want to go back to four months ago. Maybe you saw who I am and realized I’m not what you thought I was. You used to say I was the best thing that ever happened to you and you’d talk about how much you missed me and how the best part of your day was talking to me. We used to talk all the time. Every day. You called every night. We texted before bed. I’m sure you remember.
And now…well now I go days without hearing from you. Now you break pinky promises and you don’t even say happy birthday. Again I’m not mad. I just don’t know what’s going on. I don’t understand what changed. I’m sure you’re busy… but, well… I just feel unimportant. And we’ve been over this and you say you’re sorry and I know you are. It’s not that I feel like you don’t love me… I know you do. And I know you feel bad… but… I feel like you’re apathetic about every lately. Like you’re not really ever truly happy… I want to be the thing that makes you happy again. I want to know what it is I have to do, to be what I was to you last semester. You have no idea how much I love you…how much you mean to me. Or how much I miss not just you but how much I miss making you happy. I just need to know what you need from me, what you want…because I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what to do to make you happy and make you want me again. I don’t know how to get back to where we were three months ago or even if we ever can. But things change, relationships change and progress and I’m willing to fight for you and for us but I need you to fight too. I need you to decide if you really do want me in your life… because if you don’t….as painful as that might be I guess its better I know now. I think you do, want me in your life because I know you love me. But I need you to…act like it. I need you to call when you say you will. I just want you happy. Does being with me make you happy? Is being with me… a burden on top of everything at West Point? I just need to understand what’s going on in your head…beyond just being busy…why are things different with us?
Re: Say something you wish you could say... Volume 2! -
October 29th 2009, 08:12 AM
I fucking hate you, so much. I thought things were getting better, but no. Not at all. You're such a freaking asshole, seriously, what is your problem? What did I ever do to you? I've never even spoken back to you, not even once, I'm forever listening to your shit, and it makes NO sense, but I never question you about it, half because I'm afraid of you, half because I can't be assed. I'm not pissed because I'm not getting anything anymore, it has nothing to do with that. I'm fucking pissed because I'm not important enough to you now, but the freaking drug addict of the family is. Me, who has never done anything bad, never done anything horrible to you, is like, hated upon, and the fuck up, the one who screwed everyones lives up, got pregnant and will forever be sponging off you, is more important. How is that fair? I don't even know what I've done wrong. I hate you. I hate everyone. Fuck you all.
Ps. Sorry about language.
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
Re: Say something you wish you could say... Volume 2! -
October 29th 2009, 09:16 AM
M: I really wish I could hate you. Being friends with you hurts too much. But I can't not be friends because I feel comfortable talking to you and you have my heart. This sucks.
M & Just get a divorce already?
"You've just been B-Wildered." -Brian Wilson <3
Trumpet love; Tenderlips.
"Where there is love there is life."- Mahatma Gandhi
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
Re: Say something you wish you could say... Volume 2! -
October 29th 2009, 10:15 AM
I love how different it is going to bed alone single, and going to bed alone when I have you. It's like I'm barely even alone. Your right in front of me, just like always. And I'm already assured I'm not alone.
When all your friends have come and gone,
And the sun no longer shines,
And the happiness for which you long is washed away like an ocean's tide,
When all the hard times outweigh the good,
And all your words are misunderstood,
When the day seems lost from the start
You must follow your heart,
You must follow your heart.
Re: Say something you wish you could say... Volume 2! -
October 29th 2009, 03:06 PM
I wish you weren't so negative about yourself. I know i am too, sometimes. But YOU have no reason to be. Your amazing, and i would not change one single thing about you. Thank you for putting up with me at times i know you don't want to. You are by far the best person i have in my life. I love you so much
Re: Say something you wish you could say... Volume 2! -
October 31st 2009, 10:03 PM
None of you can ever leave me alone, I just want to get on with my life on my own, but no everyone has to decide everything for me. I'm not want at home or with nan and gramp and I have no where else to go. I am sick of being the one who has to look after everyone else. When is someone going to look after me and make sure I am ok.
Re: Say something you wish you could say... Volume 2! -
November 1st 2009, 12:08 AM
Will: I missed you tonight, come home so you can be here?
Please just come home, I need you to tell me what to do. I need you to have all the answers like you always do.
Kaylie: You asked me if I really hated you... I was so close to saying yes.
I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to forgive you, and that scares me.
Mum: Stop saying that. Baby says its not true and she actually loves me unlike you. For once I'm trying to believe her!
Josh: Fuck off, I don't want that shit. I'm getting clean whether you like it or not. I can see now that they were all right, you really don't give a shit. Don't argue with me, if you did care then you'd support me.
Rie: One day I'll tell you everything. I'm trying not to hurt you, I know its hard to believe but I just don't want to dump any of my shit on you when you've got so much going on. You're beautiful and strong and amazing. I really do love you, marry me?
Re: Say something you wish you could say... Volume 2! -
November 1st 2009, 01:49 AM
I Miss You! It's Halloween and nobody here appreciates it the way I do. I think you would. So I wish I were with you. I need someone to watch these movies with me who would actually like them as much as I do. This is a terribly lonely feeling. I can't wait until I get to come see you again. Who knows when that'll be...
Please don't ever get tired of me like everyone else does. I don't want to lose you. I'm doing all I know of to prevent that.
-Let the Music Play-
"There's no way to explain why life is filled with so much pain. But do the flowers ever grow in the places it don't rain?"
"But the unfortunate truth is that, while being different from everyone else can be exciting at first, ultimately it can get a little lonely."
"The floor seemed wonderfully solid. It was comforting to know I had fallen and could fall no further."
Re: Say something you wish you could say... Volume 2! -
November 1st 2009, 05:55 PM
i've told you i'm here for you, i know what she did to you and i don't want you to think you can't open upto me more about what happened. i'm going nowhere i promise.
Re: Say something you wish you could say... Volume 2! -
November 3rd 2009, 12:27 AM
I wish I could have said this before I left...
' You're making yourself and everyone miserable, you're not even trying, not even having the effort to understand and try at least, I love you but enough is enough, it has to end here right now, move on and get on with your life, it's sad to see you ruining your life this way.'
I hope you have the strength to start all over again.- F.Scott Fitzgerald
Re: Say something you wish you could say... Volume 2! -
November 3rd 2009, 02:06 AM
And the stars fell out of the sky. And the tears rolled into the ocean. And I'm looking for a reason why, you even set my world into motion. Cause if you're not really here, then the stars don't even matter.
Re: Say something you wish you could say... Volume 2! -
November 3rd 2009, 08:42 PM
Leave me the fuck alone you annoying obsessive stalking creep.
"You've just been B-Wildered." -Brian Wilson <3
Trumpet love; Tenderlips.
"Where there is love there is life."- Mahatma Gandhi
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11