Say something you wish you could say to their face.

[Kate*]

You had to have been a therapist in a past life. You're one of a handful of authority figures to treat me like a human and actually APPRECIATE the hell out of me. I know it's weird for you, but it's just as weird for me and it'll take time to learn that you're not going to flip a switch on me.

You do realize you scheduled me just under the full-time threshold, right? In the short term it's fine, but if your long-term plan is to work me as much as possible, without offering me benefits in return, that's NOT going to happen.
You can either give me enough hours to keep my own insurance without burning me out, or you can promote me and give me your benefits. I LOVE working for you, and that you appreciate me so much; but I won't be taken advantage of again.

I really don't appreciate you taking advantage of the situation to tell me to do things incorrectly.

[Kate*]

You specifically said you wanted to work with me more and considering you do the schedule now and gave me over 40 hours this week, you'd better be there, or I'm going to be mad.

[Starseeker]

Just let me go!!!!

[Kate*]

I hope you don't think I ask questions because I want a promotion. I did tell you I wanted full-time, and it's still true, but I'm not even entertaining it until you make it abundantly clear that I'd have a decent chance at one.

That was unnecessarily rude of you, and Im pretty sure I have to cancel, but I guess thanks for doing your job. After getting mad because of what your coworker told me.

[Kate*]

It has NOTHING to do with you, it's everyone before you who broke me. If anything, you treat me TOO well. I'm not used to being treated like a human by authority without eventually having them turn on me, break my spirit, and destroy my life. The more our interactions don't go that way, the more I'll trust you and calm down.

I really wish you'd let me know in advance that you were leaving; or, at the very least, sent me a text message afterwards.

[Kate*]

You're my favorite manager and I really hope you're closing tonight

It's not your fault, but after all the hassle, and already being up and dressed by the time I got the message, it would've been nice to have it as scheduled.

That was so unlike you that we're genuinely concerned for your well-being. I'm really hoping I don't start tomorrow's shift with bad news.

Good idea because I don't think I've made less sense or been more scattered trying to explain something in my entire life, and laying it all out for you and explaining how I've connected the dots, is what I was trying to do.

[Kate*]

You BOTH owe me a W-2, and I'm locked out of my online accounts, so you better mail them ASAP. I only need you to do your jobs ONCE and then I can put you behind me.

[Kate*]

Oh no honey, you are NOT about to gaslight me about a situation you haven't lived through. I know what 4 managers did and didn't tell me. There was bait and switch involved from day 1, and it feels like they just did it again.

[Kate*]

You call to ask me to give up my ONLY shift for the week and say you HOPE I can keep my only shift for next week, 2 days after telling me to my face that I have no future with this company. Yet, you beg me to continue to tolerate this because it's only temporary and I'm so valuable that you don't want to lose me?!

I quit without notice on a job with more pay, paid vacation and paid sick time for less. Why shouldn't I do it again? I DON'T want to leave, but if you leave me no choice, I can't be blamed.

I don't want to think this of you, but the more I think about it, I wonder if you knew taking a vacation wouldn't actually help the situation, but you did it so you could say that and then run while things got rough. If it actually made a diference, I wouldn't be in this position.

[Kate*]

I just got an offer to interview for a position that would be a promotion with another company. Your hang up is clearly not an issue for your competition. So, if you want to retain someone you admit is one of your most valuable employees, who says she DOESN'T want to leave, you might want to change your tune from "We have to take your only shift away (again), but PLEASE don't leave" and "Unless you can do (blank) you have no future here." to something more appealing. Because, while I know amazing management when I see it, and am willing to stay because it's so rare; I also know my own value, and there are limits to my willingness to compromise.

[Moxie.]

I don't know what changed, but I don't feel like a priority to you anymore.

[Kate*]

I fear for my hours when you aren't doing the schedule because you like me enough to give me enough. I'm not sure they do.

I can't say it clearly enough: I DON'T WANT TO BE DOING THIS! But, you made it necessary. Even if the lack of hours isn't your fault, telling me to my face I had no future with the company 3 days before calling for "permission" to take my only shift off the schedule sealed it for me. As long as he isn't there to protect me and/or verify what you're saying, I have to look out for myself.

[Kate*]

I have a therapist specifically so that my issues don't become your job. The fact that everybody feels like they can talk to you about anything, almost everybody says you're an amazing human, and the fact that you can talk to people forever aren't my fault. I have to avoid my pull to become dependent, because it's strong and I don't want to drain you.

[Kate*]

You can probably tell, which makes it even more awkward for me. But, there's no way in hell I would, or ever need to, bring it up. And it's not like I'm ever going to do anything about it. So, how about I won't bring it up if you don't?

[Kate*]

I'm both dreading and looking forward to the conversation I assume we will have tomorrow. You retained me by handling the first one well, which is why I want to trust you this time, but I can't. I've been screwed over, stabbed in the back, and gaslighted so many times; not to mention I'm literally in THERAPY for the way this was done and it's not the first time. You said we could talk to you about anything, and that the last thing you wanted was for people to be afraid to walk into work. You proved it once, I need you to do it again. And if anything about this has me on the verge of tears, it's the fear over how this will go. Because you're human and we can only have this conversation so many times. Eventually, you're going to lose patience with me, and if I trust you completely and don't have my guard up, it will absolutely crush me.

Disagreeing on two points: You can give someone a heads up about something so they aren't blindsided, without handling discipline if it isn't your job. And if they aren't paid more and given full-time etc. partly because they're supposed to make sure we get our breaks, what the hell are they for?!

And just like there are things I shouldn't say at work, there are things you think about me that I will never know. And the sick part of me that's waiting for you to turn on me wants to know what they are.

[Kate*]

I don't necessarily care if you play favorites, as long as it doesn't affect promotions and whatnot. But, you might want to make it less obvious.

[Kate*]

Maybe I should've known, (and have since learned) not to trust you/anyone with that much information. But, your failed attempt to gaslight me in response, instead of just telling me the truth, has stuck with me for almost 10 years. It's because I trusted you and you blew it that I haven't trusted since. You went from one of my favorite people, to someone I lost all respect for in a split second. So, when I say people turned on me, you're top of the list. And I wish that wasn't what I remembered about you.

I figured out a long time ago that you can't be who I need, and started the process of grieving what I would never have. Can't or won't doesn't really make much difference when the final decision was yours, because you'd rather throw a tantrum like a fucking toddler than be an adult. As sad as it may be that you probably won't be there for my major milestones, you would ruin them for me and make them all about you. Now, I don't have to wrestle with the decision to include you, defend myself against the guilt trips of others, or feel the negative emotions that having you present cause me. You never wanted me, you wanted your ideal version of me. You only want to be involved to feed your ego and support your image. You don't want me, and I can accept who you really are while removing that reality from my life.

So, I was right. Everyone else knew before I did and I have a right to be upset about it.

Considering I haven't worked in 5 days, you can't really blame me for an ongoing issue. And the lack of staff is probably part of the problem.

[Kate*]

She's on vacation and I'm still barely on the schedule. PLEASE give me at least one shift. I know you like me enough to do what you can (and probably more than she does), again, the favoritism is obvious. Make it less obvious.

I was going to actually go, but now you're pushing way too hard, trying to guilt me into it, and ignoring my explanation,
after you pressured me into giving you my number and have been creepy at work. This is now borderline toxic. I don't care if your wife is there, this is NOT OKAY. You should've stopped at the complete sentence of No.

It's hard to forget you and move on 100%. Every so often there's something that makes me think of you, but as a sort of crutch.

[Kate*]

I suppose I should've asked you to show me how to do it myself. But, this is exactly what I was talking about. Before you make a big deal about him in front of me, you might want to consider that I've asked to be TAUGHT how to do more things and would've done it without being told had I known how.

I felt bad leaving and really hope you don't end up pulling a 12-hour shift. I would've stayed, but I don't know if it would've actually helped. Plus, I expected her to show up (I wouldn't have done it for her) and I don't think she did.

I want your attention. It's not your job, it's not what you're for. I hate this about myself, but I've never denied it.

[Kate*]

This is chaos for my neurodivergent brain, and I'm starting to drown, It's too much change at once, no one is telling me or explaining a damn thing, my schedule has gone from practically 0 hours, back to normal and was flipped from close to open overnight, I never know what to expect walking in because my tasks are all different, I'm slowing everything down as usual, and I'm burning out. But, life has taught me to push through and I've gotten through a lot worse than this. Plus, if I'm this overwhelmed, it's 1000 times worse for you; and you might be losing it too. The LAST thing you need is for me to complain; especially when I don't know what the fix would be. You need me to put my head down, show up, and do what you tell me with my mouth shut, so that's what I'll do and hope it gets better. Part of me honestly thinks it's worth trying to have the conversation, and the rest of me knows better.

I miss you.

[Kate*]

Is this the writing on the wall that he predicted when he said "You wouldn't believe how many of these stores close within a year?" Or, are we just behind and he saw things he wasn't supposed to? I would've left my last job no matter what, but I don't want to lose this one because it goes under. I gave up a lot, but I'm willing to stay if there's something to stay for.

Because it's you, and I need the money, I will do it. But, if you're not there, and/or she complains about my work again (to anyone), we're going to talk about it.

[Kate*]

Everyone can tell she's your favorite, and almost everyone has complained about her to you. Addressing her behavior is part of your job whether you want to or not. If you don't it will be one of the most BLATANT acts of favoritism I've seen in my life. You're amazing, but you need to change this about the way you're running things, or it's going to cost you. I have no business inserting myself, but if it somehow comes up, you know I'll tell you what I really think.

[Soda_Voxel]

I'm sure you didn't mean it so bad, but you saying that really, really hurt me

[Kate*]

So, you just throw out there that we're hiring for full-time, after telling me 3 times that I'm not eligible, but both of you absolutely LOVE me... Looks like we're having a conversation then. If that's the only reason, then I'll try before backing out, but I'm TERRIFIED of exactly what I'm afraid of happening and then it holding me back. I've been rejected SO hard SO many times, I almost don't want to risk it. I'm not asking for it to be handed to me by any means, but if I don't have a realistic shot at it, then I'm not going to waste my time or yours.

Whether I want it or not is irrelevant really. You've made it abundantly clear it's out of the question without that, and even if I did that, I wouldn't be good enough in the other ways. At least not enough to get it over someone else. It'll never happen, I'm not going to make you tell me; and I sure as hell am not going to bring it up or apply and waste both of our time, only for you to tell me by giving it to someone else. That doesn't mean I would expect it handed to me, just that I've been put through this shit so many times, I'm used to it and feel bad for the people who have to crush me.

[Kate*]

If that means what I think it means, I couldn't be more proud of you!

You're writing reviews? You said a year, not 6 months. I know you like me better than I do, but just the thought of them makes me nauseous. And I only see you once next week, so I hope you still go over it with me since you know be best and you wrote the damn thing.

You aren't going to tell me why you suddenly changed my schedule, but I really hope it isn't for the reason I just thought of. It's probably not, but if you aren't going to tell me, then I'm free to come up with ridiculous reasons.

As long as I know you're not leaving any time soon, I'll be fine. And if you can go over my review, since you're writing it, that would be great.

[Kate*]

She's your favorite and everyone knows it. She gets the full-time and everything that comes with it, without all the responsibility. Meanwhile, you make it clear that I'm not even eligible a lower full-time position, despite how much you absolutely LOVE me as an employee, unless I'm willing to give up something you said was an accommodation for a disability. That's illegal first of all, and you need to realize this and deal with her or things are going to implode REAL quick.

[Kate*]

I officially go directly to you for EVERYTHING now. You are the only reason I'm still there. You write the reviews, your expectations are the ones I care about, and YOU know how to effectively communicate them to me. if you need to get together and onto the same page about what exactly they are then so be it, but that's not my problem. And if my attempts to be an adult and handle things respectfully with anyone other than you only causes more problems, then I no longer do it.

Lucky for you, I have calmed WAY down and managed to get what I actually need you to take away from what happened, down to a handful of reasonable things.

[Kate*]

Its never enough and you're asking a lot for low pay. I could fail the same somewhere else and get paid better to do it. And then to go on about what a great job I do and joke about me moving up someday, when you've told me 3 TIMES it'll never happen. I give up. If my best is never good enough for you, you don't pay me enough for it to be my problem.

I give up, and none of us HAVE to be here. OCD tendencies are not an excuse to micromanage people to death. I have them too, and I just fix the shit myself. She has shifted the entire atmosphere of the store for more than just me to very negative. It's been a month and we're already strategically avoiding her. Address this, appreciate me, LEARN WHAT AN ACCOMMODATION MEANS, and give me a decent shot at the advancement you've known I've wanted since day one (that everyone jokes about me some day having.) Or even with the best manager I've ever had, I won't stay. I have 3 rules: Don't bark at me, don't nitpick me, and don't make me the center of negative attention. I've had all 3 in the last two weeks, and two in the last 2 days. You're at risk of losing one of your best employees who doesn't want to leave. You need to do something.

[Kate*]

My brain is not your job, and as much as you're fulfilling an unspoken need, I don't want my insecurities and deficits to define our entire relationship.

Based on the little bit that I overheard, I don't think you addressed it. You're about to get a learned helplessness speech. Because I'm not alone back there and if your entire team shuts down, it'll get worse, not better. I don't know why you won't correct her, and will everyone else. But you NEED to do it, and soon.

[Kate*]

Get me a schedule far enough out, and I'll make an appointment; so you are no longer responsible for my brain that was never in your job description to begin with. Because I'm starting to feel bad about dumping it on you because I KNOW that, even if you'd never say so.

There are still times I think you'd be better off replacing me with a robot.

[alphamenscenter]

I have been holding back my true feelings for too long, and I need to be honest with you about my Health how I really feel

[Kate*]

Please take care of yourself. Even though you're my boss first, I care about your well-being. I know you're stubborn, and you're going to do what you want, but some recent changes have me genuinely concerned.

[Kate*]

As much as I may need that, and want it from you, I refuse to make it your job; because it isn't.

I was right, it's a trap, and FYI: If and when you leave this company, so do I. I've already been conflicted about staying, so you're keeping me there. I can't go with you, but I will leave.

And if I have to put this crap in writing, I want ACCOMMODATIONS in writing too!

[Kate*]

I tried to say thank you several times, and I'm not sure you ever really understood the impact you had. As the one tasked with facing my dream-turned-nightmare head on with me, I learned SO MUCH from you that can't be quantified. You were the only one to treat me like a human, and remind me that's what I always deserve. I'm not exaggerating when I say you were an AMAZING HUMAN. I can't believe the world has lost you, but I was lucky enough to experience first-hand your incredible kindness and empathy at a time when I needed it most.

[Kate*]

We're political opposites and disagree on major things. But, I can live with it because you're not an asshole. At least not to me; yet.

[Kate*]

Why are all the adults who used to love me immature, selfish, assholes?! She says they'd still show up in a crisis, but I doubt that now. I assume I'll be facing the worst day of my life a lonely orphan when it happens.

I seem to be doing fine, if not great until you leave for more than a few days... I hope we don't have a repeat of last time. But, you know if we do, you'll hear about it the first time we overlap again; if not before. And I want my review partly because I think she prefers him. He doesn't want full-time, I do, he cut his hours back. But, he gets all the projects, which get interrupted when you pull him for the register. Why not teach me more things and let me run with them? Or train me on the register for the last-resort issue you need me to know it for, and then let me have the projects instead?