Say something you wish you could say to their face. - Page 242

Rivière

You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to seeing you. I'm so excited, I keep smiling every time I think about it.

Kate*

Okay fine, if you want to blame everybody else and refuse to accept the responsibility YOU have to help yourself then you can continue to suffer because no one is going to be able to convince you differently.

Celyn

I'm actually not sure what I want to do...and whether I want to follow what you do like I usually do :/

Everglow.

10:16pm.
It's been two years to the minute since you died and I miss you so much. There are so many things you'll never see us do and it still isn't fair. There should have been signs. There were signs. Nobody saw them early enough and it isn't fair. You should be here. You shouldn't have died, you had so much time left and it got taken away. I miss you so much. I wish you were here. I love you.

Kate*

It had nothing to do with "irresponsible" it's called insomnia and psychological exhaustion.

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Fuck you. I bet you coerced her. Kept harassing and stalking her until she felt so scared that she had no choice but to give in to your persistent demands.

I, as a woman and decent human being, would never do that to them.

Tigereyes

Can you really not see how bad I've gotten? Do you really not see how close I am to the edge?

Unidentified~Unicorn

What are we? Friends, lovers, strangers? My hands are shaking and my soul is breaking because I love you so much. I still have your notes you gave to me. I still have the homecoming paper you wrote especially for me. I'm sorry I screwed up. I'm sorry that I let my bipolar disorder get the best of me. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I should've spoke calmer, but I didn't. I guess we are both to blame now. You for having your reasons that we broke up, and me not being able to accept and understand them. You'll get the jacket back. But I still can't go around you because that will just hurt me more. I'm sorry I'm so confusing and so... apologetic. I'm debating whether to tell you all of this in person or just leave things be. I miss you. I miss us. I miss our hugs, late night talks, good morning texts, and just being someone you can turn to. I didn't mean for her to pull me away while our friend was talking to me. I didn't mean to break down at lunch yesterday. I just... I don't know anymore. I don't know what I'm doing nor what I am even saying.

Rivière

I'm tired of you pulling on my heart like this. You're the first person I've ever truly loved, but you're also the first person to hurt me so much in this way. I ask one thing of you and I can't even have that.

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I miss you so much and wish you were still a part of my life. I know it only gets this bad at the autumnal equinox, which coincides with your birthday. But I'm going to try my best not to cave in and message you, especially after that message I sent you last year; the one where I wished you all the best in life.

Rivière

I really, really miss you right now. I wish you could come here and cuddle me really tight and not let go. I just feel so down I'm trying to hold back tears.

Kate*

Did I fail or did you fail me?

Starseeker

You're just cold-hearted bitches.

Tigereyes

Why do you always treat me like this then get mad at me for believing what you said?

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I guess I never meant that much to you. Whatever, no big loss.

(Though my snowflakey heart is sobbing)

Storyteller.

God I wish I could call you out for that casual transphobia, but it's really not worth it. If only I hadn't clicked on that thread because for once I was actually have a nice day, but now that simple bit of bigotry has put me in a bad mood.

Kate*

It's obviously her calling, I'm so proud of you for not picking up the phone since you said you wouldn't.

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There would be no love lost if you died tomorrow.

Storyteller.

Uncertainty doesn't excuse inaction.

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To myself: Sit down. February is four months away.

Kate*

Yes, we could and should put signs up when we're out of things, and you could and should be a nice person, but here we are.

Skyline

I feel really overwhelmed about leaving France and being away from you. You know me, I always assume that the worst will happen in my relationships. I'm looking forwards to our last trip together before I leave in a couple weeks, but I'm feeling a lot of pressure to plan it perfectly and I feel terrified that it WON'T be perfect and part of me just wants you to come over to mine as we usually do, to sleep in late and take a walk in the mountains, watch a movie and then take a bath on the balcony before going to bed. I'm just feeling a lot of pressure on my shoulders right now.

Skyline

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kate*

Did I fail or did you fail me?

I have no idea what this is in reference to but I can relate...

Rivière

You have no idea how hard I'm trying to resist spamming you with messages right now. I'm trying to ignore my own feelings and think logically on the situation. It's taking all my energy.

Tigereyes

Stop saying you know because you have no fucking idea

Tigereyes

STOP FUCKING SAYING YOU UNDERSTAND AND TO JUST PUSH MYSELF HARDER. IT DOESN'T FUCKING WORK. IT JUST MAKES ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF MORE.

Storyteller.

I'm losing so much respect for you, and honestly it breaks my heart. I'm not even sure this friendship is worth fighting for anymore.

Edit avatar

Look Fake News Channel, how the fuck about you quit shoving not one, not two, but three referendum propaganda ads before the first pitch is even thrown!

Storyteller.

You feeling bad =/= me treating you badly. Grow up and take responsibility for your own emotions. I'm not responsible for your perceptions.

Edit avatar

There are such things as non-human labels.
I think it's quite transpeciphobic of you to say that I was being transphobic by trying to be respectful.

Starseeker

i still want to talk to you which i guess is something

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Hah, would you look at that! A forum with clearly defined rules right at the smack dab top of the main page! And oh my god, moderators who give you slaps on the wrists and censorship of posts, warnings, infractions long before banning you!

(This isn't P-A towards TeenHelp, this is P-A towards the moderating team mentioned in my previous post on Friday)

Kate*

The fact that you offer free admission so often and to so many makes me wonder about the quality and whether you're desperate.

Unidentified~Unicorn

Don't you DARE antagonize me or lecture me. I just want to live my life without you getting all butt-hurt or sending me off somewhere again, simply because I need to be fixed.

Edit avatar

Hidden under spoiler tags for mention of substances.

Spoiler:

Do you really think you're hip and cool dancing around on a second floor balcony at two in the afternoon with a nearly full bottle of rosé wine in one hand and pot (oh, how I wish it were still banned now!) in the other hand?

There's a word (or two) for people like you: Douchebag loser!

Kate*

I don't hate you, I actually love my job, in part, because of how you treat me. But, I am 100% allowed to complain about the fact that I'm getting stuck with 8 hour Sundays. And yes, you pay me for all of it, BUT, I make the same in 8 hours no matter which day it's on, and we all know that Sunday is the absolute worst!

Rivière

I feel like you're trying to make me feel guilty for not picking up your parcel. I'm sorry I have a million other things to think about too. And for the record, I forgot to pick up something I ordered for myself too. I remembered just as the office was closing. I can't remember everything all the time. I have a lot going on.

Kintsukuroi.

-Wish you would actually do what you said you would. It’s getting quite irritating.
-Isn’t that ironic.

Celyn

I don't know you at all, only in passing, but I've heard you are in hospital and you've been struggling with depression recently. I don't know what it's like to be you or to be at your stage in life, but I really hope you do overcome the depression. You sound like a nice person and don't deserve to suffer.

On a similar note, it reminds me of how even people who outwardly seem happy can struggle a lot and I hope everyone in my life is okay.

Rivière

Why did you ask me to message you when I was finished? When I did, you hardly said a few words to be and buggered off anyway. I could have stayed to do my extra 20 minutes of workout.