Say something you wish you could say to their face.

[Tigereyes]

This is the only way I can be what you need me to be.

[Kate*]

Part of the reason I wasn't doing that by the time I got to you was that I was victim blamed from day 1, so I had been well-trained into acknowledging my own part of it, legitimate victim or not.

[Tigereyes]

And how exactly is being yelled at going to make me feel better?

Because.

Shouldn't it be obvious?

The truth is that I don't know.

[Kate*]

You have me questioning whether I want to "stay in the good graces" of a toxic person, wondering if I'm really the bigger person for cutting her out as much as possible or if the ones who put up with her are. I can't tell if you actually meant it or if you're continuing the guilt-trip legacy.

I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were talking to my ex. In all likelihood I would have given you my blessing, but with a fair warning of how he can get. You’re twice the woman I’ll ever be and that’s what he deserves. You and him both deserve the world. I just can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were talking and flirting and falling for him. You’re like a sister to me; I’m not mad at you, but I am hurt. I’m hurt you didn’t tell me and instead I found out from him. I’m hurt that it caught me so off-guard (so much so that I couldn’t even come to your defense, I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact you didn’t tell me let alone him degrading you). I want to tell you I know and that I forgive you for not telling me (because I honestly do).

[Lunar]

I love you, but I'm just not sure how much I can handle when it comes to you. I know I want you in my life, but I can only handle you in small doses. So please, just cut me some slack. I'm so tired, and I'm struggling.

[Kate*]

I have been severely damaged. I was starting my way back from my worst and most recent blow when I got to you. I had never had unsolicited encouragement in my life. If I got it at all, it was out of pity after someone heard me beating myself up and just said it because they thought they should. When I got it from you out of nowhere, I felt like you meant it. For the first time, it felt genuine and like you really believed it. It was exactly what I needed. We got along great. Then you left, and now they ignore me unless I do something wrong. I want you to come back. I finally got somebody good, and they left...Again.

[Tigereyes]

No, I'm not getting the support I need. I need a hug and someone to listen, not another voice yelling at me.

[Lunar]

I just can't stand you. I want you out of my life, in all shapes and forms. Time for me to move on and you aren't invited to join.

i’m relapsing.

[Kate*]

I would LOVE to cut you off, but I guess I'll just have to wait it out

You have inherited the guilt trip legacy and it won't work on me. I don't need to "stay in her good graces" or be told how other people are better than me because they put up with her when I don't. I'm a grown woman, and my relationship with her is separate from your relationship with her. I would love for you to do the same. I know you want to, but you won't, and I can't make you.

I'm not okay. I'm going to tell you that I'm okay even though I'm not. I'm not sure if I want you to believe me or call me out on my bullshit. You've seen the meal logs and the check-ins, you know I'm starting to abuse my body again and you are probably more aware than I am that a relapse is on the horizon. I'm going to keep saying I'm okay though because I have to be okay. I'll lie on the meal logs, I'll lie on the check-ins. I don't want to lie but I don't want anyone to worry. I'm going to be fine. I made it out alive last time, I'll make it out alive this time too.

[Lunar]

I just don't know how to handle you. You are 100% stress and I really just want you out.

The fact that you pushed back your plans to hang out with me meant the world to me. You didn’t have to do that, I was upset everyone canceled on me, but I could have handled it. Thank you for being so kind to me.

Thank you both for coming over last night to take me out. You two wanting to spend time with me even though it was inconvenient for you made my birthday so much better. Thank you.

[Starseeker]

just. tell. me. what. you. think. of. me.

Get. Out. Now.

[Everglow.]

Saw you in my dream last night. Can't figure out where we were but you were there. I miss you.

“If you keep doing X without eating Y, you’re going to lose a bunch of weight really quickly.”

You know I have an eating disorder. I know you were speaking to my rational mind, but the eating disorder mind heard that too.

[Lunar]

I'm so lucky to have you in my life. We may have our disagreements from time to time, but I wish you truly knew how much you mean to me.

[Kate*]

If you wanted rent, all you had to do was ask and tell me how much! While you felt weird asking because I didn't have any, I felt guilty for not giving you any.

[Storyteller.]

Could you maybe... not talk to me like that? We're not friends anymore. We haven't been in a long time. The familiarity is making me uncomfortable because I can't get past everything you did to me, especially because you never actually owned up to any of it.

[Kate*]

Please don't gloss over the impact medication has had on me and don't say "good girl" because I still have a job. I'm a capable adult with a disability, not a child who learned to tie my shoes.

Give me something to do.

I can't get you out of my head.

[Mercredi.the.giant]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I wish you could stay home from work with me.

[Kate*]

I was never fully trained which means I can't do any other parts of my job unless you tell me to and show me how! Having me there extra hours won't accomplish anything except pissing me off and exhausting me unless you teach me and tell me what else to do! I can't do her job without instructions and how the hell did this happen in the first place?!

As long as I’m fat this isn’t a problem.

[Storyteller.]

Do any of you really think you've been good friends this past year? Or do you just not think about me it at all?

[Kate*]

If you gave me an 8-hour Thursday because I'm supposed to rearrange and put out new stuff, you need to TELL me and SHOW me what goes where. I was NOT taught how to do this!

[Starseeker]

I think I might be in love with you

Enunciate your words, all that non-stop nonsense sounded freaking Greek or Arabic to me.

I wish I knew how to talk to you but it's been so long. I don't know if we can pick back up where we left off and that scares me.

[Kate*]

If you're offering, I'll consider it, but ONLY if you finish training me which you should've done in the first place!

Either way, can you at least teach me the rest of my current job?!

[Tigereyes]

You really hurt me...

[Kintsukuroi.]

I’m still not sure if this is going to work out. I don’t like you nor do I think you’re a good fit for this position but the decision isn’t just mine but X’s as well.

[Storyteller.]

The more I think about it, the more dissatisfied and unsettled I am by your response. Reacting like that has made me feel guilty for responding and reluctant to continue engaging, especially given how hard it was for me to connect in the first place. If you want to encourage a behaviour, never make someone feel bad for displaying it. That's so counter-productive, because if I hadn't managed to finally respond you wouldn't have lashed out, and now I have to deal with the aftermath of that as well as all of the emotions and issues that kept me from reaching out to begin with. What were you expecting would happen here? That I'd apologise for my grief, my depression, my feelings? I won't do that, and now I have to take a step back because this is more than I can safely deal with right now.

Please be somewhat decent. I’m used to Mark and I mistrust anyone in his place.

[Kate*]

I know it'll never happen, but I want you to come back. Someone who clicks and communicates with me that well, that fast is extremely rare. And, after my experiences with pretty much every authority figure I ever encountered, I needed it more than you can believe.