Say something you wish you could say to their face.

[Kate*]

If the goal was to break me, destroy my life, and ruin my reputation, you pretty much nailed it. I have a DISABILITY and I feel like a criminal for God's sake. I did the best I could, nothing about me or my behavior justifies what you put me through. You are far from perfect and had NO RIGHT to do that. I will never take responsibility that isn't mine and I will always refuse to be treated like that ever again and I will stand up for myself unless I feel like it would be completely pointless.


I'm incredibly sorry that your mother is hurt. I do hope that this serves as a lesson for you as to what it's like to have to drop everything and take care of an elderly person because someone else who was "supposed" to do it decided to try and have a life.

I can't imagine cutting you out of my life permanently, but there's a part of me that desperately wants to. The last thing I need right now is you judging the journey you will never walk because I will never be good enough for you and nothing I do can ever be right in your eyes.

Wow, 4 hours of nothing but complaining! That's a record, even compared to me and I actually have something to complain about that I didn't inflict on myself. I can't wait. You're making yourself and everyone else around you MISERABLE! You can't wonder why no one wants to deal with you. I'm done.

[Everglow.]

I wish I could really talk to you. I look at pictures of you, just ones where you're being yourself, not posing or smiling specifically for the camera, and then I remember that you're not here anymore. I'll never hear your voice, you'll never be able to hug me again. A has moved out and some new people are living in your flat and I can never go back there and see your desk and ornaments and the pictures you had, and we'll never spend Christmas walking down to see the lights, or go to the park and watch my brother dance with your walking stick. I'll never hear you say how happy you are that 'my hollie' is there to see you. I'll never hear you say you love me millions or have a birthday card made specifically for me again.
I miss you so so much nana. I love you. God. I wish you were here to see me graduate next month. I wish you were here full stop.
I hate that you're gone.

[NeuroBeautiful]

To my cousin- I can't go to your engagement party becsuse our grandmother is constantly humiliating me and I can't be in the same room as her with out freaking out. We are both named after our grandmother but we havw had such different experiences of her. With you, she is proud of you and you talk on the phone regularly and she is happy with who you are and who you're growing up to be. With me, she hated me the minute I was born simply because my father isn't jewish. Since then it has been hell and living with her had been hell and a couple month back when I went to out cousin's house, she was there and she humiliated me in front of everyone. Twice that day. And many other times too. I can't be a good sport about it. I can't hold it in. I am avoiding seeing her becsuse that's the only thing left I can do to not lash out. I feel like cursing her out for being so horrible to me. For treating me like dust to be stepped on.
You're my younger cousin and I loved the days we spent time with each other years ago and I'm sorry j can't be there at an importsnt moment in your life.I'm really so sorry and I'm ashamed for my decision but I'm too afraid to see her. I'm sorry I'm so cowardly. I'm just sorry


To a friend S-you tell me to reach out to you when things are hard but i can't trust you becsuse when I talk at the support group, later on you try tk convince me that my feelings about my family are wrong.

To my friend M-I'm sorry I keep messaging you. I must be do annoying and needy. I'm trying hard to not reach out to anyone today at all. Not online, nog hotlines, nof friends. I just want to stop reaching out. I don't even want to post blog entries anymore. I just want to get to the closest thing possible to disappearing.
To my dad-I'm sorry I tell you that you don't care about me. I don't actually know that for a fact. I don't know what's inside of you. But it appears so strongly and maybe you're right that I have a distorted sense of reality. I'm just sorry for being difficult. I'm sorry you think I'm not trying and that j can't meet your expectations. I'm sorry I can't clean my room how you want it. I tried spring through papers today and couldn't continue after 10 minutes. Km Sorry YOU BROUFHT A Child To Life That you regret and that you have to live with how she turned out. I'm sorry you couldn't foresee how j would've turned out because I know you probably wouldn't have wanted me. I'm sorry that you had a second child to "take care of" the first ond and be there for her when she is lonely but I'm far from being there for mh older sister and we are in such rivalry and I'm in rivalry with my 2 younger sisters too. I must've been a warrior in my past life. All I know is war and suffering. I'm trying to find the joy but I can't find it. I'm lost and afraid and j know my pain is affecting others but j can't stop the pain and I'm trying to so other people wont be mad at me but I keep hurting people.

To god-why did you bring me to earth just to torture my soul? You're so sadistic.

[Everglow.]

I'm not going to tell you this to your face purely because it's a waste of energy and breath trying to talk to you, but, I'm done now. I'm just going to stop caring I think. I'm going to start doing things without you there. I'm going to stop inviting you along. It's just got to the point where you don't really care as much as you say you do. All you care about is your boyfriend and suddenly, now there's a man in your life, nobody else matters quite as much, but if I say that to you, it's a personal attack and you think all I want to do is have a go. That's not it at all. All I want is a best friend who doesn't put blinkers up every time a man is involved. It's depressing, watching you stop caring, to the point that you couldn't even come home first before you rushed off to see him at 4 in the morning after we'd come back from a week away with you. Honestly, I'm done with women (and men) who get a partner and lose sight of all other thins in their life. I know I'm not THE most important thing to you, but I'd like to feel like I'm one of them, and I really don't. So expect to be deliberately forgotten about now, because to be hnest, I don't have the time or energy to consider your feelings all the time when you can't even do the same in return. If you need me, you know I'll be there. I always am. I'll drop whatever it is and help if you need me to but apart from that, there's not really anything left to salvage.

Do you know how hard it is not to text you? It's pretty freaking difficult to refrain. I don't know what to do. I want to talk to you but I want to give you your space. I don't get this texting pattern where we'll talk non-stop for several days and then you'll drop off the map. I can't find a baseline normal with you. I just know I miss you. Please talk to me soon.

Wow, you really need to learn how to lighten up and chill out. Apparently I can't joke around with you, you are way too sensitive!

[Calaer]

How dare you ask me why I don't love you. Since the day I was born I thought you were God. I worshiped the ground you walked on. I ruined my life for you, and it wasn't until I became a mother myself that I realized I didn't need your love to find love myself.

[Starseeker]

You're always so cheerful and optimistic. I honestly love you for that. ♡

[brightside]

you're a traitor. you took me in when i was broken and used my weakness for all of your sick wishes fully knowing what i had told you and what i had been through. i would rip you apart if i could and hope you burn like i do.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Please stop fighting. It's to much.

[Kate*]

Yes, the therapist has a client before your child, no she can't see them immediately because you are annoyed by what they're doing right now. No, neither of you is the center of the universe.

You're right, you have no idea what I've been through and you probably wouldn't survive it, your child is not you, don't generalize to everyone with his challenges like you have a clue what you're talking about.

Apparently we need to go over the difference between "can't" and "don't want to" I seriously give up on you.

Do you know why I didn't want to do this and it took you months to talk me into? Because it's a complete waste of time. And it looks like I was right all along.

I missed you today.

He calls you to tell you about Father's Day and you start asking him about how he can help you. How you can use him and take advantage of him.

I honestly can't stand you and I don't understand why you even chose to adopt him if you aren't actually going to act like a father. I kind of feel like it was an ego thing...like 'hey look at me, I adopted this boy whose father was absent'.

[Starseeker]

Hey. I wonder what you're doing right now. Eating dinner? Maybe... Preparing for Monday? Perhaps.
How I wish I could talk to you face to face. I can imagine it so well: only you and me, we're sitting on wicker chairs in front of the house, sipping coffee from pretty cups. It's a long, long summer evening; the grass under our feet is green and soft, gentle rustle is coming from the trees around us. It's very warm. And we're sitting and laughing and chatting. Your kind words are soothing my wrecked nerves so well. Time passes as we're talking. First we see the sun that is shattering the sky into a thousand pink and orange pieces. Then the sky becomes livid like a bruise. And finally darkness falls, and we're still talking under the starry firmament. And you're still making me laugh. I'm so cheerful that I can be there with you.

Well. That might have happened in a different universe. Perhaps. But we're not in a different universe, we're here, and I let my imagination go wild again. Sorry.

[Calaer]

I love you, and I know it can't be easy trying to find ways to cope with the fact that I have this mental illness and it's hard to contain sometimes. You're so strong, and so supportive and loving, and I truly have no idea what I would do without you in my life. Even when things get rough, I know I can always lean on you when I need help. You're amazing.

You deserve a woman that is capable of loving herself, a woman that is capable of taking care of herself. You deserve a woman without my scars or obsessive thoughts about her body. You deserve a woman that you don't have to worry so much about. I haven't eaten today and I'm not going to. I want to be beautiful for you.

Do you know that? Do you know how much I want to be beautiful for you? You tell me I'm the most beautiful woman in the world to you, but I know that cannot be true. I'm not beautiful, I'm not even pretty. But one day, I will be. I want to be the woman you deserve to fall in love with, I'm sorry I haven't been her yet.

[Everglow.]

You honestly have no idea how much it hurt when you said that. How much it hurt that you genuinely wanted us to be happy for the fact you're moving in with him before the contract for our place is up. This is it. This is the end of this friendship and you can't even see it because your own adult happiness is in the way of everyone elses upset.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I hurt so much with what is happening. I can't take this anymore.

I need to take a break from you until I can figure out my feelings.

I didn't eat today and I shouldn't be so proud of that.

[oddity]

We're not an only child. You have 7 daughters, 5 sons, and 3 non-binary children. I'm not your daughter. and you need to stop calling those of us who aren't your daughter your daughter.

-Rex

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Please don't take one away. I know they are fighting a lot, but please don't. You will hurt me so much if you do. I will not be me if you do.

[Kate*]

I suppose I can only blame you for part of this, but I absolutely will not excuse any of your part in it. You did severe damage to me, which is more than a little ironic. The fact that you've gotten away with this stuff and worse, probably for decades, doesn't make any of it okay. The fact that you can make it my fault somehow doesn't mean that it actually was.
I would love to hold you accountable. Because as much as you victim blame the people you treat like crap, you deserve to have to own your own behavior like you tell everyone else to do. It applies to you just as much, if not more than everyone else. This is why I believe in Karma.

[Calaer]

I really really like you, and I'd love for us to be friends, but I think we both know that isn't going to happen. So please, shove off.

[SandraH155]

make love not war

[Calaer]

I love you, and I miss you, and I'm so glad that this leave is only temporary. I can't wait until you're back home where you belong. <3

[SandraH155]

leave me alone

[SandraH155]

sometimes they really bother

[SandraH155]

if you know what I mean

[Kate*]

If you want to make yourself miserable and do nothing but complain about your situation (instead of at least trying to help yourself), fine, but you will NOT drag me down anymore.

I have legitimate reasons to do what you do, but I'm working through them. It'll probably take a lifetime, but I'm doing it. And I'm doing it without the people who support you because they're too busy listening to you complain about the situation you put yourself in to help me get out of the one other people forced me into. I also know that the world doesn't revolve around me, and while I welcome and seek out the support I need, I don't expect it from people who have lives. I know that I am not entitled to anything and therefore I'm grateful for everything I've been given. You need to learn this, and you won't.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I was so scared to say anything, I don't know why you would do that to anyone. All I did was cry in the car because I was scared and just wanted you to go away and I wanted my parents to help me. I wish I could tell you to stop what you are doing and just go away.

[Calaer]

Thanks for always expecting me to do things for you, but then treating me badly when I ask you for something.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

I'm scared to go out shopping because of what happened yesterday. Fear can't run my life.

[Kate*]

"I'm hearing a lot of excuses and it sounds like you're trying to blame me."

Yes, because that was your fault and these are disability-related, legitimate obstacles. Whether or not you admit it or agree doesn't matter.

[Celyn]

I know I told you that I love you, but I really hope that you believe it. I know you have been hurt and burnt, but I won't leave you. I won't use you. I'll be here for you, always.

I'm terrified you're going to leave one day. Then what will I have left?

[Calaer]

I love you, but I just can't handle this anymore. I can't handle the way you treat me. I'm over this, and I'm over the added stress.

[Oneirophobia]

You really think this is okay. I'm pregnant I'm scared you know what I went through with my son but you still run me around? My other doctors agree for me to keep out of this is good but when you fuck with my baby growing inside of me you've gone too fair. I deserve to be seen and having regular appointments I'm high risk. You have no weight in here your a desk clerk. Make the appointment. Make sure baby is okay. You would think that would be number one priority specially if I'm worried you'd think you would make sure everything's okay rather than just put it off and tell me the doctor can't see me because you don't have a form from my last pregnancy. Focus on this baby keeping this baby alive and well.

[Kate*]

I was right and you were wrong. About everything. But, I was wrong too because I thought I knew who you were.

Would you still irritate the crap out of me if I hadn't been through what I've been through, probably. But, it wouldn't be this intense. I have something more than legitimate to compare your situation and their reactions to and as wrong I know it is, it makes me hate you.

[PinguPingu]

M-

What gives you the right to cut me off how you did? You hurt me. You betrayed me. I was 7 at the time. You were 12. You knew better, I didn't. I'm almost 18 now and you've got a wife and kids and the nerve to block me on facebook?
Sure I may have said stupid things to you when I was 14, but I was hurt. Go to hell. Stay in Texas, if I ever see you again it'll be too soon. I don't need your slut of a wife and her 4 illegitimate sons in my life. I don't need your daughter in it either. You may be my cousin by blood but we'll never be family again. Just strangers who share a last name.