Say something you wish you could say to their face.

[eeba]

PLEASE!!! it's killing me, I want to talk to you

[Calaer]

I wish you were going to be here for us on Thanksgiving.

[Kate*]

So much for you saying "just choose to be happy" and "choose to be suicidal or choose to get help" I'm sorry you're going through it because I'm mature enough to be supportive of you in spite of that. But, I hope you learn from this what it's really like and not to say that anymore.

I wanted to be every one of those things, and I can't be. Learn to handle this better next time. Fulfill your ethical obligations ethically I'm going to spend who knows how long dealing with the damage you did, and the kicker is that you knew better than to cause it in the first place. If I'm not mad anymore, it's only because I'm too tired to be mad. I think it's sad if the way you did it was the best you knew how to do. If it wasn't, I deserved better than that.

[Calaer]

I'm very thankful you're back in my life. <3 These past few months have been exactly has I had hoped they would be.

[Kate*]

"Why do you need a therapist?" Where the f*** have you been for the last 2 years?! "Why can't it be a counselor?" Again, REALLY?! In your defense I don't vent to you about any of it because you'll tell me to "suck it up" and "get over it." "If she can be a social worker, why can't you go be one too?" I'd love to know why, I didn't decide that! Plus I'm not allowed near people (valid or not.)

PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME! I know you're not supposed to, but if this goes badly, I will have been screwed over, jipped and/or traumatized by every type of mental health professional on both sides of the couch. You have no idea what I've been through or what it took to even get in to see you. DON'T BLOW IT! I don't even know where to start with this, it got so complex so fast... Part of the reason it took so long.

Maybe it's because I grew up being blamed for so much stuff it turns out I couldn't control, but I don't believe in telling kids "It's your fault" for something so trivial. I also believe that telling someone that "happiness is a choice" is like telling someone with diabetes to "just choose to produce insulin"

[Jordioa18]

Sas, I acted angry because:

- I thought you fucking hated of big pieces of text that weren't pre-made books before yesterday (With that, REALLY hated, I still have to process that you don't mind. Most of the flirty, long stuff you say is in real life, but I cannot remember all of it). When I wrote you a big piece of text by hand, I had the feeling you hated it because it was a big piece of text, that's why
- I think you don't care about my interests. When you come back from horse riding/dancing, I want to do my best to talk with you about your interests, but I don't know if you want to do the same back. Maybe I'm expecting too much back, maybe I shouldn't expect anything but blind trust and distance from you sometimes (I say 'blind trust' cause I think you will flirt with me more and ignore me less if you don't, but I never seen you distrust me so I don't know for sure)

And I cannot say that to you cause I will have the feeling you will interrupt me and not hear me out. Hell, I might throw this away cause sometimes I think "Jordi, this is actually pretty crazy and it's not true", but then I bottle shit up because I don't know how to express it later, so this is what I feel now

[Calaer]

I love you, and I trust you to guide this family to where it needs to be. I just want you to know that. <3 Don't doubt yourself. You've got this.

[eeba]

Why did you let me do that to you?

I will never forgive myself for that as long as I live.

[Calaer]

As the time gets closer, I'm starting to miss you even more, but I know I have to stand my ground. If I don't, I'll never make it though it.

[QOS]

I wish that I could love you back, mom. But I would get an allergic reaction. And you're not with me anymore.

[Calaer]

I wish you were more trusting of me.

[Kate*]

I understand not wanting to be bitter, I did the same thing once for the same reason. I just hope those coming behind you get the same opportunities. Because, if we don't hold them accountable, they keep doing it. Asking if you're okay after they screwed you is pretty standard though. Almost like if they can get you to believe they care, you'll let them get away with it. I wish I'd been as lucky as you and gotten to finish too. Maybe it was never meant to be for me. Or maybe, if I hadn't stood up to them, I would've finished too. He's the only one I trusted, and he was warning me from the beginning. The fact that he would never tell you what she did is proof that it probably wouldn't have worked for me. I needed my answers first. I just hope that they learned from me too. Maybe that "a different learning path" shouldn't be grounds for disqualification, or that even when it is, it still ruins lives. I do wonder if it's the same person though, but I don't think she does both.

You turned my dream into my worst nightmare, broke me, and blamed me for it, then got away with all of it. This ruined me and my life for who knows how long, the opposite of what I expected from people like you. I hope you're pleased with yourselves. Chances are good though, that you forgot about me a long time ago. Lucky you.

Your loyalty was to them, not to me, but there is still NO EXCUSE for the way you treated me. I am a human being whose spirit and life was destroyed by you. You had no right to do that to me.

I asked you not to tell anybody because I don't need them knowing and being judgmental as hell behind my back. I know you'll end up telling her anyway. If it was guaranteed to stay with just her I'd be semi-okay with that, but aside from being extremely judgmental nobody in this family can keep their mouth shut.

[Calaer]

I really don't respect any of you, but at the same time, I feel slightly guilty that you won't be around for the holidays. You aren't going to be seeing your grandchild, but I forget that my daughter doesn't really matter to you. I hope that this holiday season, when I'm off seeing my family, you don't show up. Because I never want to have to be around you again.

[Silivina]

For all those people who ever told me, "You are just confused." "You either like boys or like girls, there is no in between."

Guess what?
I don't care. If you can't accept me for who I am, don't even talk to me. I'm tired of the nonsense. I'm tired of the "I care" only for you to turn around and smile in my face while talking about me. I'm done.

[Kate*]

"They're too long."
You're the one who said more was better than less and you didn't have to sit there forever and cut them shorter did you, I didn't think so.

"I assume you're..."
You're the one who said "never assume", but I guess that only applies to everyone else.

"I don't appreciate your attitude"
I don't appreciate yours either, but I guess your authority means we can act the same way, and somehow you don't have one.

Please don't remind me how "extensive" the coursework is. I did most of it, multiple times, passed and yet, still can't be what I was trying to be. Please stop throwing that in my face.

I'm torn between saying that if that's the way they're going to be, then I don't want to be one of them, and realizing that believing that changes absolutely nothing about the nightmare that is my life. I still want to do what that would've allowed me to do and I don't know if that will ever change.

And we're back to the balance of acknowledging disability and accepting responsibility. You may consider your disability (which is what it really is) "who you are", but it is NOT an excuse to get away with criminal behavior if you're capable of understanding that what you did was wrong.

"You're being demanding, disrespectful, and unprofessional." The only thing I ever "demanded" was to be treated like a human being because, guess what, I AM one and I did ask to be kept away from the woman who told me "You lack empathy" What the F was that?! Plus, I didn't know how hard that was actually going to be and, newsflash: You could've said NO to that. And what about you? You tried to fail/ throw me out behind my back, "If you manage to graduate, no one's going to to hire you like this." Who the F are you to lecture me about "respect" and "professionalism"?!

Okay, you're right, I did complain, and yes, it was unprofessional. And, if you can't keep your obvious dislike of me hidden from a class of 25 people for 2 hours a week, you are unprofessional" and immature too. Maybe I had a reason to complain. And saying that "Everyone is responsible for their own learning" while telling my project partner that she failed the class because I did something that isn't even possible to do, is worse than ANYTHING I ever said about you. There's a difference between complaining and revealing the truth.

[MWF]

Donald J. Trump, Mike Pence... I fucking hate you both.
Oh yeah, Michigan Governor Rick Snyder? You should be tried for terrorism.

[Storyteller.]

You weren't invited; you're not welcome. Please just leave me alone.

[Rivière]

I want to punch you in the face. You're annoying, arrogant and not even the amount of fish in the Atlantic ocean could complement the amount of chips that rest atop you shoulders.

How could I be foolish enough to think you would really ever fall for me?

[.Brittany.]

You hurt me..

[eeba]

desperately clinging to the hope that you haven't written to me because you're busy and/or forgot about me and not because you're through with me or because I said something wrong...
you mean the world to me and words cannot describe how I sorry I am for being the worst friend ever, wish I could go back and do it ALL over
you have every reason to give up on me, and I deserve it, but I can't help hoping that you still haven't

[eeba]

this is a random and very selfish question, but do you still have the quilt I made you?
P.S. Sometimes I hold your 10th grade world history notes while I sleep (did I already write that on here? haha I don't remember)
And I stil have your record, it's one of the most important things I own.
I miss you. I miss your smile. I miss the way you used to take out the trash on your way to school. I miss your cute socks and I miss hearing your voice. I miss the way you say "all is well." I miss when you used to walk me to English class. Room 741, 12:04 PM, I will never forget.
Please write to me I can't do this without you.

[Kate*]

3000 miles apart and nobody's perfect, but you were there for me the best you could be. Unfortunately, it took hearing about an 8 year old girl abandoned by her biological father and his whole family on her birthday, to realize how lucky I am. Love you Dad.

I was the epitome of the "wrong way" you claimed didn't exist, everyone was "responsible for their own behavior and learning", unless they were dealing with me; then the opposite was true. It made sense to literally no one, you wouldn't even admit it was happening, and it ruined my life. You got away with breaking me by claiming "ethical responsibility", and telling me I did it to myself; while bragging about the fact that you knew better. And I still want it, because I deserved it, because the fact that I want it doesn't go away because you decided I can't have it. Because it would've been better than this.

We do A LOT more for you than we have to. Even if I'm right that you hate needing the care, that's not an excuse to be so ungrateful there isn't even a word for it. I'm dealing with a lot of the same crap and I would NEVER get away with acting like that! Go through your peace process and stop whining.

[eeba]

I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry.
He was so lucky to have you in his life.

[Calaer]

As the day draws closer the more guilty/sad I feel. This holiday is about love and family and friends, and you aren't going to be here. I'm broken hearted. I wish that I could give in and welcome you with open arms, but we both know that isn't going to happen. I hope you're doing well.

I don't know why, but I miss you so much! We spoke just yesterday on Facebook, but this seventeen hundred miles between us is just ugh!

[Kate*]

You graduated the same year I started, awkward, even if it's a different thing. I don't know if I can do this anymore.

What do you do when you're terrified of the only thing you know can probably help you, because you've been on the other side, and it went so wrong that you don't think you'll ever recover?

How can the same type of people who cause the damage help me heal from it? I don't see how you won't sit there and defend them the whole time.

I don't know if you're not getting these things fixed because you don't have the money, or if you're just ignoring them for no reason. Either way I'm annoyed and I would get them fixed, but you have to do it.

Just don't tell me it doesn't exist. It's existence in my brain(and it's complete collapse of my life) has nothing to do with its existence in your book. For diagnosis, I'm okay with it, but the last guy spent 8 months telling me I was being paranoid! Please don't do that again.

I avoid that road because I'll never forgive myself for not calling her when I should have. I avoid that road because I hate the sight of the house with her bedroom lights off, because I know they'll never be on again. I avoid that road so I don't have to see the memorial garden or the giant cage for her rabbit in the backyard. I avoid that road because passing her house makes me think of her and how much I miss her and how shitty of a friend I was. But I won't tell you any of this and I won't tell you why I hate the scent of leather mixed with flowers, or why Snow White suddenly became my favorite princess. I can't tell you any of this because none of you seem to remember that one of my friends died. None of you seem to remember that she took her own life and I was told in the worst way possible and I was only sixteen and her death shattered me more than I can describe. I can't tell you that I'm sitting in my room crying for the first time since May because you teased me for not taking that road and making us late and I couldn't tell you why I can't take that road. I really can't tell any of you that I still blame myself for her death and I cannot say the word suicide out loud.

It's been two and a half years since her death and I know I should be fine by now. But I'm not. I wasn't close with her when she died, and I hate myself for letting us drift away. Every "what if" floats through my mind and I don't know how to make them stop.

So please, let me hate that road. Let me hate that candle. Stop asking questions and please let me be. Please.

[Storyteller.]

You're asking too much of me.

Thank you for trying to help me tonight, and I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to fight the unbelievably strong urge to purge tonight. I'm not going to tell you that I did, I'm not going to make you feel guilty for not being able to help me. I honestly don't know if I want to stop. I don't know if I'm going to stop. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

[Kate*]

It is possible to correct or inform people without being arrogant about it.

I've never talked that much to anybody the first time I've met them, I feel like you might not have gotten the most accurate picture of me. I hope my insurance gets fixed so I can keep seeing you. I wasn't imagining things, this is really as bad as I think it is and I need you more than I realized.

[Kate*]

Don't accuse me of being "unprofessional" when you were worse than I would ever be and don't accuse me of being "demanding"; I asked without expecting and you always had the option to say no. Except when I refused to be treated like crap. If I "demanded" anything, it was to be treated with the respect I deserve as a human being.

I don't lack empathy, it's not a pain killer, and it has no effect on the collapse this caused on my life. I know you'll never really get this.

Your actions today really hurt. Cutting you out.

[Kate*]

Your ignorance disgusts me

Wow, attitude much?! Might want to grow up and stop calling people with poor social skills over sensitive a**holes

I wish you'd do it but it seems like a stupid thing to want when we don't have money.

[Kate*]

I could assume a lot of things about you either good or bad to make this easier to handle, but you're the ones who told me to "never assume", so I can't change anything that I already believe about what happened.

This "choice" dichotomy must end! Life isn't all about "choosing" to be empowered or a victim. STOP shoving it down everyone's throat! We don't all think this way.

After 2 years of hell, I've finally found a philosophy that works for me. Please don't make me change it because you disagree. I don't have to accept responsibility for causing my own pain in order to heal from it.

[Chuuya]

Why did we let the, "What are you craving now?" thread die?

Just in case anyone is wondering - it's Chinese food.

[Kate*]

You will never convince me that my documented brain damage is only disabling because I "choose" for it to be. I tried believing that the problems it caused were all in my perspective and it didn't work. You also used your "personal responsibility" philosophy to blame me for your behavior towards me which is complete hypocrisy. Personal responsibly includes treating other people like human beings.

Facebook, Not TH related:
I'm disappointed and it makes no sense, but I've said before that you're being too sensitive and expecting too much. I do my best to be calm and an adult when posting, but deleting mine and leaving up one from an admin that was basically verbatim because he's an admin and you were worried people would respond negatively was wrong. Insisting that we censor ourselves beyond reason to avoid hurting the cast and crew's feelings was wrong. I know how to conduct myself and I'm aware that young children and teens read, and know about the page, but people are ALLOWED to be upset, and are ALLOWED to be disappointed or voice a negative opinion respectfully without the threat of having their posts deleted behind their back. You took your admin power too far on several occasions and censored things because you didn't like them because you were being sensitive, then threw a fit when another admin changed the group settings. Now, you're asking us to all be "positive" about it because more negative posts will further hurt the cast and crew's feelings is asking too much. Respectful language and acting our age is reasonable, but we're ALLOWED to not be happy!

Same to all of you. I disagreed with the majority, but I sure as hell didn't "attack" anyone. If you're that sensitive to MY posts, you're asking too much of society.

[Kate*]

I'm okay that you rejected it, I just hope it's for the reason you claim because I plan on submitting more. I suppose it's a good sign that you've accepted some content from me, but I wonder why you'll take sentences from me and not whole pieces. Your posts would frustrate me A LOT less if you'd accepted mine, not because I'm jealous, but because my submission solves the whole problem that's pissing me off. You made me try to categorize that, if you don't take it because of that, or don't review it long enough to figure out that it's GENERAL, then not having it published, wouldn't be a loss to me.

I just realized that you REJECT people. Why didn't you just save me all the struggle and trauma and end it before I invested myself so deeply?!

Either you're that booked, or you really don't think I'd act on what I told you. Thank God it's coming though. I just hope you continue to be a good fit. You're already better with me than he ever was.

The show is OVER, yes it's disappointing, no it doesn't make sense, but it's time to STOP fighting for it! You just sound immature and desperate. Take the lesson from it about not being able to control life, and move on.

[Calaer]

I'm giving you this chance, because I know how much it means to him, but know that I still don't trust you. You have a long way to go before I'll feel comfortable around you again.