Say something you wish you could say to their face.

[Kate*]

I know you probably say most of that to every student who ends up dismissed, but I hope you meant the other part because it was so sweet and meant a lot. I'm getting a second chance at the job I interviewed for when I was sitting in limbo. Letting go for good is going to be harder than I thought.

[Celaena-Sardothian]

I don't actually want your help. I do not want anybody's help. The only reason I'm here is because I didn't really say I would but it was interpreted that way? I don't know. You can't help me. I don't want you to figure out why I self harm and I do not want to feel obligated to tell you when you ask about it. And I hate your office.

[Twinge]

I hope you understood what I said to you, then... I really hope so. I don't know what's in your head and I shouldn't care about that. No more misunderstandings and annoyances from now on. Please.

[Rhizzy]

You're selfish, you're rude, inconsiderate. I saved us multiple times, but whenever you do those things I was to blame. You could never be blamed. I'm glad I've moved on, trying to push you out of my life, but I know if I see those beautiful blue eyes I'll fall in love again. I can only hope you don't treat anyone the same way you treated me. You're so self centred, and I hate the way you are, yet I love you with all my heart! If only I said the right things...no wait, why am I blaming myself? It's YOUR fault, and not mine! And I know that! I only wish you knew that, 24 hours ago. Now I'm afraid, it's time to leave you behind. I'm sorry. It's not my fault I'm the way that I am and wasn't good enough for you.

[Jordioa18]

I'm sick of you plauging my mind.

I know I was controlling and shit, but I felt stuck with you at dating while you have all the options in the world. Cause for me it ain't easy to get anywhere else. If you REALLY want to try it again, I'd say go for it although I'm not 100% willing to, but it would really be your last shot, and do your best to maintain it. But I'm gonna make sure that you get some healthy competition as well if you choose to let your other admirers flirt with you.

I'd rather have you help me and support me with finding another, I fucking need it. Although it will be poetic justice if I piss you off when I get another, I'll try not to be mad if you aren't. I want to say goodbye to you, but I want to meet another girl first.

[Everglow.]

I really dislike you. Strongly. We would have got so much better than that grade if we hadn't had to have dealt with you. You spent three months not doing anything so that we had to do all the work at the last minute. If you got the same grade as us and I find out I'll be so fucking unhappy with the entire grading system. You don't deserve a grade at all. You did literally nothing. Fuck you.

- Listen, just because your testing came back negative doesn't mean I want to kiss you tomorrow. I'm still not sure how I feel about how pushy you're being. I almost feel like not kissing you as a sort of test to see how pushy you'll get. It would certainly tell me more about your character if I waited, and right now I feel very dubious about your character. So I hope you don't have any expectations about tomorrow, because you're going to be sorely disappointed.

Oh, and by the way, sorry you miss me, but it was your choice not to hang out with me last week. I'm not going to respond with an "I miss you, too." You had your chance and chose not to take it. So you'll just have to deal with those feelings on your own.

- Oh my god I know I totally gave you some ammunition today but please don't use it against me. I think I might cry if you do. Also, I miss you a lot. Only eight more days and then I get to see you again. I can't wait.

- I really wish you had room on your dance card. I'm totally into you. I'm getting so sick of dating people who claim to be one thing and then it turns out they're not. I know that you definitely are what I am looking for, and I think we could have a lot of fun.

[DYon]

Sometimes I really want to question you, but don't say anything. I sometimes wonder if you can even see a good thing in front of you.

Do you not notice what someone does for you when he doesn't *have* to? Someone who spent literally ~120 hours of the week with you while you were sick to check up on you and try to make things better? (though mind you I was sick too so it was good to be in good company)

You know, said person probably did all that because you may just happen to be the most important thing to him and he wants to protect said most important thing.

I don't know if that is how you may interpret it, but said person does. Said person also remembers all the things you said to him that were not just "silly things".

Said person could be worth everything to you one day. Why are you afraid of said person? What about everything scares you?

Maybe said person wants to do anything in his power to make you the happiest person in the world and he may have much to offer you. Perhaps you make said person the happiest person in the world as well. Just some food for thought.

[Twinge]

I don't want to.

[Nickitty =^.^=]

Directly to their face?

I love you <3

Why have we been like this lately? What is going on with us? I don't want to be angry with you. I just want to have you back here, with me. Let's stop arguing, okay?

[Kate*]

-- I feel like one more meeting with you could somehow make this okay. I feel like I will eventually go through with that. At some point I will decide something is too much or I've had enough and I will quit.

Don't worry I'm not expecitng an answer back to that one. I wasn't expecting a response to the first one, but I'm glad you know I meant that and the fact that you replied and your answer meant a lot to me

[Oneirophobia]

Rot in hell, That's what I think of you. I also hope you know that you were reported for what you said.

[Darkened_Empress]

i am tired of telling everyone it was an "accident". You did this.

[Le Papillon]

Why did you lie to me for so long? Why did you make those promises that meant so much to me, if you never intended on keeping them? Did you want to kill me inside, or was I just there out of convenience for you? I hope you realize how much I truly loved you, even when I meant nothing. I honestly hope you're happy with her, because you will never get me back. I died, and the one who will take my place isn't going to risk letting you back in, not after all you put me through. I love you, but that means nothing now.

[Kate*]

-- Please at least try to do what you've done before before telling me that it's not going to happen and please call me back, but not at the crack of dawn, thanks.

[Kintsukuroi.]

I miss you.

[Most Likely]

I miss what we used to be.

[Kate*]

-- I will eventually do that, I don't think I'll go back, the effects of this on my existing depression will defeat me and you won't care because you don't have to anymore. I held on because I believed that it would eventually be okay, but this is the worst example of what's been happening my whole life. It's just going to keep happening. Why continue to torture myself considering that I can't do anything about the cause of the problem? I quit.

[Nightblood.]

Do you remember feeling invincible?
When there was trouble it was us against the world.

You left me out there with no one but myself in an open field for lightning to strike me down.

You were always a crummy friend, so I shouldn't be surprised that you've once again got me excited about seeing you for the first time in 5.5 years only to take it away. You do realize I don't drive, the bus would take three hours and a shitload of money, and even going over the bridge in the summer is a huge pain in the ass! I shouldn't be disappointed, you've been like this for years.

You claim you're my best friend and I'm yours. Don't, because I don't think you understand that term! I do, and I've never had a proper one in real life until the past few years. Before I met S.L., I had this huge misconception of what a best friend was. I don't anymore. S is my best friend, you are not.

I'm sorry I didn't sound as excited as you thought I should. I'm just nervous because we argued last night and I'm worried we'll argue again today. I don't want to fight with you. I just want to enjoy spending time with you. And he's right: just because I want alone time doesn't mean I have to have it right now; we'll get our alone time together this weekend. If you want to go to the party, go to the party. I will try my best not to get jealous over it, okay? It's just that I haven't seen you and I thought you'd want to spend time with me. And I know you do, I just thought, you know, you'd want to spend it together now. Ugh, I'm sorry I'm being so weird. I've just been really stressed in your absence. I just want to have you here with me, and it's almost time.

[bitesize]

You would have been 24 today.... looking at your Facebook page made me cry. You were one of the most alive people there ever was, I still have to shake myself and remember that you're not here any more.

With my happy birthday message I posted 'Fans' by Kings of Leon on your wall - it reminds me of you, because in that brief little time seven years ago when we were talking on MSN every day and flirting in school and both waiting for something to happen between us, we used to sing that song. Or just type 'Homegrown', and we'd be off. Hah. I wish I could see those conversations now.

I don't want to pretend that we were still close - that I'd ever been more than a very friendly acquaintance since our briefest of teenage flings - I know there were people who saw you and loved you every day, and to me you were, really, just one of those people you always wish you hadn't screwed it up with, even years later. But I started wondering if you'd get the song reference, if you'd comment on it with something cheeky - before I remembered that no, you obviously wouldn't... you're dead.

As I got off the bus today I remembered one time that I saw you on my bus - I think you may have been sleeping - and I didn't go over and say hi.

Why didn't I?

[Kate*]

I now believe I am capable of nothing, good at nothing and doomed to fail at everything with nothing intelligent to say while being forced into jobs I will hate and coming to terms with the fact that I will never be allowed to do that again despite never being given a good reason why. YOU did this to me, take responsibility for that and stop blaming me. It wasn't a self-fulfilling prophecy, it was my brain damage mixed with your lack of professionalism. Give me one good reason not to do that, oh wait, that's right, you won't because you don't care and you don't have to because I'll never see you again and before you try to tell me it wasn't all a waste, don't bother. My whole life was a waste. Thanks

-- Yes part of me still thinks that one more meeting with you could make this okay, but I have to remember that I'll never see you again either. Thank you for being one of the only two faulty to tell me not to be so hard on myself. And I don't know where you got the patience from, somewhere around the third meeting, I probably would've either given up on or killed me.

[Musicfan2015]

To L. I like you so much. Everytime we spend time together its amazing, I look forward to it so much. Honestly I get a bit annoyed when you ignore me for the people in your school, because I only see you once a week, but you mean so much to me I think about you all the time and spend so long imaging us together as a couple. That would be the best thing ever. You don't know how much I wish it could happen

[Nightblood.]

I hate that memories of you still come out of nowhere. Things I totally forgot happened. Today it was the memory of you being there when I got all my vaccines for college. Or when you pointed out that my neurologist looked like a ghostbuster. Or the time you waited in the waiting room. I don't understand why you left me.

[Kate*]

I don't judge you for having a strong faith; I judge you for using it as an excuse to be ignorant and rude which only spreads false information and makes people feel guilt and shame about things they never should..

I gave the fucking date! March 18th 2005! So of fuckin' course it's 2005!

Did all that booze and drug drop your iq significantly? The DS girl seems like fuckin' Einstein compared to you.

[Kate*]

Since my dismissal was particularly agonizing for you, please learn something from my case:

1. Take care of the gatekeeping responsibility earlier to avoid both bonding and wasted investment by the student. The longer you wait, the harder it is on both sides and the more the student loses when it ends. Although there are reasons to wait, once it's obviously not working anymore, it's time to let go. If dismissal happens, make sure the student has a clear understanding of why. Don't try to avoid explaining yourselves, it will make them question your actions and whether you really have a good reason.

2. Take an honest look at the type of feedback the student is being asked to accept, as well as the tone and spirit in which it is given before calling the student disrespectful and unprofessional for being resistant to it. If a student complains about a faculty member or instructor, don't immediately blame the student or assume they're overreacting. Faculty aren't always right and students deserve to be heard. Remember, you are role models for the future of your profession. Treat students with respect, and they will learn how counselors are supposed to act, disrespect them and they'll start to question how you made it into the profession, while learning what not to do, assuming you don't force them out of it. Make sure that the student knows how they are being perceived; I got nothing but negative feedback to my face, leading me to believe that my reputation was destroyed. Turns out the opposite was true, but none of the good things ever made their way back to me.

3. I know negative feedback is hard to give and dismissal discussions are hard to have, but that isn't an excuse to lack professionalism or avoid them completely, especially given that you are trained to have difficult conversations tactfully.

4. A faculty member discussed bringing up program-wide changes after completing my remediation plan. Consider them before disregarding them. Most of the students have the same complaints and the faculty do not seem to understand the importance or necessity of change.

5. For God's sake COMMUNICATE I understand that there are probably ethical and/or legal or at least common sense guidelines for communication with dismissed students, but I spent 4 months in dismissal limbo with complete radio silence and my dismissal discussion was never had. Not to mention my written notice was delayed so I was "notified" by finding my registration dropped and student status changed behind my back! This had me convinced of things that were absolutely untrue. Most students don't appeal dismissal; if I hadn't, I would've gone on for the rest of my life believing that I had done harm to a client, violated the ethics code, and the faculty were ignoring me on purpose because my reputation was trashed and they hated me or had stopped caring. Therefore recommendations from them for other things would be out of the question. In reality, the opposite was true. Respect the student enough to have the dismissal discussion to their face. If you avoid it or leave it to the appeals committee, most students will never have one and given the amount of all kinds of investment on their end that ended up being for nothing, they deserve that much. Also, it should not take multiple weeks to reply to emails and if someone sends you one asking for help with something, at least let them know you got it. For all we know, if you don't respond you either haven't gotten it yet, or are ignoring an issue we need dealt with. I understand busy, but there are limits to my patience and timelines for certain things.

-- I think if my dismissal had taken place under you, I would've completely avoided the last one and maybe had an easier time with # 3, but I I can still say I told you so.

-- I told you so too. If and/or when I go back and start working with you again, I'll need you to believe this is real and not assume I'm overreacting or being paranoid about something that will never happen until it actually does.

[bitesize]

- I'm only still here because a) rent in Dublin is ludicrous and b) I'm saving up to get the fuck out of here. You have no idea how much I cannot. stand. living with you. Stop fucking tidying his room for fuck's sake - he's 20 years old. And your incessant bleating at him to get out of bed puts me in an awful mood for the whole morning and it's so, so hard to deal with.

- I just woke up from a dream where I was over visiting you and it was weird. You were cold and distant, and 'Amy' and 'Laura' were scrawled on the wall beside your bed like a teenage boy's room, and I knew they were girls you'd been with since me.
I wonder what you're thinking. Are you still expecting me to come and join you? I don't know any more.

[bitesize]

What is your actual problem?

Look. I'm doing my thesis. I'm a final year student in a postgraduate course. Most normal people will understand that these words mean: I have a lot of college work.

December was a horrible month for me. It would have been hard enough to cope with college assignments even without coming in and working for you thirty hours a week. But I managed it. Even though I needed to get an extension on that one assignment, because you didn't give me that day off. I was a good, helpful employee. Remember New Year's Eve, when I travelled in and back for a total of almost three hours on the bus, and you sent me home after an hour of work? (Two eighty-minute long journeys = worth eight euro?) And then with no explanation you gave me no hours for the whole month of January, when I actually had some free time.

And now it's March, and I'm asking for a few days off so that I might get a chance to hand my thesis up in time. I shouldn't even be in work this weekend - I'm getting stressed thinking about it - but I didn't ask for it off. I JUST NEED NEXT WEEKEND OFF. And it's non-negotiable.

I paid ten thousand euro for my course and this assignment is technically part of my career. It's really not unreasonable to want to prioritise it over my part-time job. And it's extremely cheeky of you to not give me hours for THIRTY DAYS IN A ROW in January (even though I'm contracted for a minimum of ten, and I didn't kick up a fuss) and then be difficult about giving me a couple of days off now when I have a perfectly valid reason and anyone with common sense would understand I am not going to be focusing on fucking waitressing right now.

If you try to put me down for the days I requested off, I'm going to refuse to work. And if you throw a tantrum about that, it's really not my fucking problem. Grow the fuck up. Develop a bit of empathy. Realise how unprofessional it is to negotiate with me by proxy through my co-workers - could you not text me yourself like? And learn how to do a fucking roster, for fuck's sake.

[Nightblood.]

You are not the sun. I am.

[Most Likely]

This is propably the most ridiculous thing anybody has ever created.

I think I'm loving it already.

[Kate*]

-- I miss you and I'll probably never see you again. Part of me still thinks one last meeting would help, but it's so fresh that it would probably just make it all harder. Plus, assuming that's as bad as I'm thinking it must be, I'm the last thing you need right now.

-- You did what you felt like you had to do, but the way you went about it was NOT okay. You need to learn how to treat students respectfully instead of like criminals. Getting off scott-free isn't a good thing, but I'm guessing that's what happened.

-- The entire university needs to learn what COMMUNICATION means and how to do it effectively, I don't think I've ever dealt with worse. I understand busy, but busy is no excuse for unprofessional.

You completely missed the point of that rant.

She knows what I am talking about because she was present yesterday, you weren't. So I suggest you take a step back.

[Kate*]

So let me get this straight:

-- You teach everyone else what they need to know

-- She drove him to the emergency room when he accidentally put his hand through the window

-- He rescued a suicidal student who called him in the middle of the night

-- He made himself available to any student who needed to talk

-- Someone was there for her when she was having issues that had nothing to do with school

But when it comes to me:

-- You threw me out, the only explanation being "poor fit" I didn't do anything

-- I didn't need that, but I'm guessing it wouldn't have been offered to me

-- I pretty much threatened suicide on her (technically twice) and got NO reaction. I didn't do it for a response, but was shocked that I didn't get ANY

-- I reached out to him, he told me to email him, I did, and he turned his back

-- No one was ever there for me

I know most of those aren't in your job descriptions, but you still did them, except for me

... And it made no sense

I don't think you realize you are thirteen hours ahead of me.

So when you are planning the day that is tomorrow for me, I'm wondering when I can go to bed!

[Nightblood.]

I loved you.

[Chai.]

Okay, now it's revenge time. Don't blame me for what happens, because you asked for it. I hate back stabbers.

[Nightblood.]

When I met you, you were the best thing to happen to me. Now you’re just a thing that happened to me.