Say something you wish you could say to their face.

- I know it's probably fine, but I hope I didn't offend you. You logged off quickly and without saying goodbye, so my first instinct is to feel anxious over whether I said something wrong. I really do hope your interview goes fantastically. I'll be rooting for you.

- I miss you. Only eight days until I can hug you again; I hope they go by quickly. I miss you in ways that surprise me. They're the way you miss someone when you love them. I knew I loved you, it just surprises me how much I feel it in your absence.

And can we please admit we are in a relationship publicly already? We both know we haven't been "dating" one another for a couple months now. It's driving me nuts to tell people I am dating you when in reality I feel that we are a committed couple together. I know you feel it, too, so why don't we just go ahead and take that step? No matter what happens in other areas, I am sure of "us."

- I love you, but this is like my vacation. I have spent so long taking care of you that now I'm just letting myself get a little crazy. And you know what? I don't have to get back to you right away. I still feel guilty about it, but nothing says I can't take a bit of time. Things are just really positive in other areas of my life, and that's what I want to focus on.

[Jovial.]

- You regret everything you have ever done. That makes me feel awesome. I am pregnant with your child, but you regret everything you have every done. I bet your two year old would love to hear that too.

- I'm sorry. I feel guilty about it, even though I have no reason to. We talked about the possibility long before things got bad between us. I didn't want you to find out that way, but I didn't really know how to tell you, either, since we aren't really speaking. I can't help but feel like I am handling things with you all wrong, though. I hope you remember that I love you. I hope you still love me, too. I hope you haven't forgotten we were good for each other once, and I hope you think we still can be again. I hope all of those things for me, too.

- I feel so incredibly happy that we finally took this step. It's been an inevitable collision for months now, and now that we have finally both admitted its upon us I feel overjoyed. If someone had first told me where we would be when I met you over four years ago, I would have laughed at them and insisted that while you were a nice guy, there was no way this would happen. It's funny how time changes things. Not to get too sentimental, but I think we finally found each other again at the right time in our lives. I look forward to seeing where the rest of our journey together goes.

[Azure.]

I don't think I can.

[Em.]

I hope you rot in prison you stupid piece of crap.

Thats the child friendly version.

[bitesize]

Ah do you know what, I actually like chatting to you. I expected not to like you because you're not the in of guy that I would go for and usually hate guys of your type, but even though I don't fancy you I actually get on with you pretty well as a workmate. I think I like that you still pay me attention even though you'd be out of my league, which is more than I expected. So I liked our chats on the bus last night (:

[Kintsukuroi.]

I hate you, I know I shouldn't but I hate your fucking guts. I don't care about you, or what you have to say. You have every right to say what you want, but one of these days you'll wish you never hurt me because I will be successful and all you will be is an old grumpy man..if I make it that is.

[Azure.]

I'm sorry things didn't work out.

- It's funny how when I was feeling the crummiest I sent you to most matter-of-fact email. I know what I need. Either we change or we don't, but it we don't it's not going to last for years. Those are the simple facts, and I delivered them to you without panic, or entreaties- I just told you what's what, without even worrying what you would say back. Maybe I should've hit my head weeks ago; we could've had this whole thing banged out by now (kidding...sort of).

- Just think, in less than forty-eight hours from now I will be by your side again. It can't come soon enough.

- You really are a better friend than I ever could have asked for. Thank you, for everything you did. I know part of you still loves me; I'm not blind. But I wish that I could say, without sounding patronizing, that the woman whose heart you will have one day will be lucky to have someone as loyal and caring as you. We may never have worked out as a couple, and we never will (trust me on that), but I am lucky, too, to get to know those qualities of yours. Thank you.

[Kate*]

Either I have an extremely mild case or I grew up that invisible. I want this more than I could ever articulate to you and you believe that this is fixable so it'd better be because I WILL NOT give up or go away. You could probably argue for dismissal on the professional behavior if you really wanted me gone, but I can argue against that too. If you want a fight, I have NO PROBLEM with that! It is possible to give me the necessary constructive criticism, but it has to be done VERY CAREFULLY and no, telling me that I lack that and that no one will hire me like this and that people will die if I don't change is NOT constructive or respectful. Also, don't give me every reason to be hard on myself and then get on me for being too hard on myself like you don't understand the connection. You're the professionals here, you can't tell me that it doesn't make sense to you.

[bitesize]

You're such a little tease. You know I've always had feelings for you, and you love it. I know we've been close but I think I'd find it hard to be a friend with you long-term - you're very narcissistic and self-victimising and quite immature, but the whole time we were sitting there and you were talking about your ex-boyfriend and how you used to have feelings for me, I was looking at your giant blue eyes and your dip-dyed hair and your nirvana t-shirt and your gorgeous boobs and wondering how much longer this was going to tae before you kissed me. And then kissing you at the bus stop was pretty nice. I know if anything else ever happened between us you'd really just be using me for my sexuality, but to be honest, I don't really care, as long as I can get with you.

[bitesize]

I worried that yesterday might get emotional, but it was very very good the way it was. I kept forgetting that we'd broken up, it was just a normal hanging-out day for us, but we just weren't allowed kiss.

[Azure.]

Can we please just go home one last time and then leave?

TRIGGERING!!!!!!





























The thought of seeing you is literally making me sick to my stomach. I hate working with you, the whole time we're together, I just want to run the key along my wrist.

[Kate*]

Most professional e-mails I've ever sent? No, but I NEED somebody to answer me SOON, even if the answer is no.

THANK YOU, I wasn't even expecting an answer for days. I did notice that I was specific, neither of you were. Call me paranoid, but this is rare and I want to make sure I know what I'm getting into and that I'm getting what I need.

[Kate*]

--I was nervous, but I specifically said that 5 times so if I get the wrong tests, it's NOT my fault.

--If I get the diagnosis and accommodations, you'd better grant them. Just because it's not in the book doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

-- I'm meant to be the one who makes it I can feel it, I need this to all work out. I know you didn't let me get this far just to have it all fall apart.

[bitesize]

What I wanted to write here while TeenHelp was down...

(- On Thursday morning, I faked it a little bit. Well, over-exaggerated really. I wouldn't fake it. But you seemed so thrilled.)
^^But you know, the next three times were very different.

(When I told you I liked you after sex, it was just the hormones.)
^^But I do.

I'm sorry that I let this get so far, because I now that you have very strong feelings for me and I could tell it hurt you when I said I didn't want to continue this in September. I LOVE having sex with you. I can't say that I've never had anything like this before, because obviously we're not in love, but it is SO great and better than I expected and we have such an amazing connection. But I wouldn't be able to handle doing what we're doing now when I'm back in September and there's no deadline, no me leaving the country to define our relationship. It scares me a little just how into me you are - I know I haven't been doing much not to lead you on, but I can tell it's quite serious for you and that's not what I need right now. And it's been so stressful trying to hide this from my friends. Well. 'Friends' being that immature group I can't shake who don't stop to think how damaging it can be to spread rumours about other people's personal lives. I think cutting our losses altogether is the best choice for September, no matter how much we might both miss this amazing sex...

I don't know if I am going to make it.

[Chai.]

Life is not only about you, you need to realize there are a lot of people in it, as well!

[bitesize]

I like that fundamentally, you're a good guy. That you didn't want to come between me and my boyfriend last Autumn. That's very good. That you wouldn't let R sleep in his car. That you care about people. That you assure me we don't have to do anything if I don't want to.

I like that you're close with your family, even if I'm not with mine and I find it hard to understand. That you have good family values and that you'll end up in a marriage with children.

I like that you're generous with money (despite all the stereotypes about your county) and always willing to buy another round, help out with taxis.

I like that you're cheerful. I know how insecure you are and that you're not always happy about things but you always stay positive.

I like that it's so unexpected that you would have ever had this kind of effect on my life in the last year.

I like that you're sensible.

[bitesize]

Oh God, saying goodbye to you was the hardest goodbye I've had to say today. I still love you so much, I love that we've been lucky enough to have the break-up that we've had but I just, ohh, my heart was sore when I had to hug you and just keep it at a normal little hug and then watch you walk away and know that I can't see you, even if I want to, really want to, for three whole months, and that's the longest we've ever ever gone without seeing each other and I'm worried it'll let us drift so far apart that we can't even be this nice friendly ex thing we've been being. God I miss you so much. So fucking much. And I kept thinking about what tonight would have been like if we hadn't broken up - maybe we would have kept it low-key and cuddled on the sofa. And instead it was just a hug and a kis on the cheek goodbye which is what everybody got, I just had so much more feeling for you than anyone else. God I love you.

- It was kind of nice to talk to you today. I hope I didn't disturb you or upset you somehow; I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you and that I'm not trying to cut you off completely. I hope your walk went really well.

- I was surprised to hear it was your idea to get together Sunday. We haven't really been friends in over three years now. Though you have told me you harbor no ill feelings over it, I can't help but feel the possibility of a close friendship ended after I stopped staying with the two of you. Though I have mixed feelings, I feel flattered that you want to renew our acquaintanceship. I am looking forward to seeing you then and catching up.

[Jess~]

Please help me. You're always there for me, but that's going to end next year. I need you. You're my bro. Bros are supposed to stick together.
I know I'm quiet. I have problems. People don't usually like me. Hell, there's one day left of school, and I'm just now earning people's trust.
Please, please, please don't leave me. I'm crying right now. I need you. I don't want to see you leave, just like everyone else I've ever cared about.
Please, please, please.
I love you. And I've never told you that. How can I live with you walking out of my life, when I haven't said everything that needs to be said?
Please. Don't leave me alone. I can't be alone anymore.
Please.

[Rivière]

It's so nice living with someone as hypocritical as you.

[Everglow.]

- You messaged me about 9 months after we'd last spoken and I was more than happy to help you. I did that because I'm nice and I was worried you were a danger to yourself. Since then, you message me every few weeks with some other problem in your life. You ask me how I am and then go on about yourself. You don't actually care how I am, do you? The conversations aren't of friendship they're of a person who is too nice to say no. I don't want to come to your birthday. I don't know anyone there and I don't consider you a friend because I know full well this is a one way street, just as it is with almost everyone these days. I just wish I had the courage to tell you that myself.

- Never mind.

[Kate*]

-- I will never lose respect for you, but if you didn't intend for me to ask for your help in an e-mail, then you shouldn't have told me to send it and written down your e-mail for me.

-- Okay I was considering that as an option in the fall since it's cancelled this summer, but they are my 2 options and I can't do it again with either of them, even if they let me. Why? I HATE her theory of choice (and bonus: If I have this disability there is proof that her theory is counterproductive for people who have it) and he called me demanding, disrespectful, and unprofessional when I am NONE of those things and threatened my career before trying to fail me. ON PURPOSE! And for the record, I'm not stocking you; I'm just trying to make scheduling an appointment with you as easy as possible. I'd start with somebody else, but they're all going to say I need you. Do you have ANY IDEA how hard you are to get a hold of?!?!

-- I think your theory of choice is crap and a disability is likely the reason that it doesn't work on me. I don't choose everything. I chose to fight and live. If you want to believe that I chose the brain damage that came along with that, that's your choice, but it's not mine.

-- " I just hope she doesn't become too demanding" If this is all true, I have RIGHTS and I intend to FIGHT for them. That's not demanding or arguing, it's advocating for myself. Good practice for my future career which I refuse to believe is going to fall apart.

-- It would be REALLY nice if I didn't feel like the only one who hasn't given up on me.

--You've officially destroyed my confidence to the point that I'm afraid to BREATHE WRONG, let alone offer any kind of help to people! You're supposed to train me into the profession, not scare me out of it. Somebody might want to do something about this. If I weren't this stubborn, it's clear at this point that I would NEVER succeed at ANYTHING!

[Kintsukuroi.]

-Don't worry, that's not all there is. You just saw the scratches on my arm but thanks for proving to me that it was pathetic and now i'm more triggered to go deeper/more....
-Thank you <3
-I am well aware that you hate me. Don't worry the feeling is mutual
-Ummmm....shut up. I don't give a crap about your opinion.
-Oh, cool bitch. Just shut up seriously.

[Kate*]

Hey, a tentative meeting is better than nothing, but IF you have to cancel on me (and please don't) At least TRY to reschedule me. I know this is a HUGE pain, believe me, it's worse for me. It's a conundrum for you, but it's my LIFE and I'm terrified that it's all going to fall apart. Everyone keeps sending me to you like you're going to be the one to figure it all out. You have no idea how badly I need you to be that person right now! Please HELP!

[Kate*]

I know this is going to take a while, but there is no reasonable explanation as to why it is at 9AM You realize I have to get up at the crack of dawn to make that work right?

[Kate*]

I know you have had issues with my "disrespectful attitude" and there are 3 things I need to tell you:
1. If you have issues with my attitude, chances are I also have issues with yours. I don't disrespect people who respect me.

2. Do not mistake me standing up for myself as disrespect. There's a difference between being disrespectful and refusing to be disrespected.

3. I acknowledge that I am extremely sensitive to feedback because a lot of what I've gotten has been inappropriate and I don't say that because I didn't like it. It would've been inappropriate under any and all circumstances. There is a way to give me the feedback in a way that I can accept because certain people can do it. Part of your job is to give it in a way I can hear it.

[Rivière]

Please stop barging into my room without knocking. You're ok to knock on everyone else's door, why not mine?

[Kate*]

I have a feeling that if you knew what it was really like, you wouldn't be so against it. I guess it shouldn't matter to me since avoiding something if you need it hurts you and not me.

I don't even know what to say about all this anymore. We can't control her or make her see things or be easier to deal with. If she wants to act like that, it's her choice. Just because she chooses to do this doesn't mean that it has to be put up with. I have bigger things to worry about than her maturity level.

You're conceited. Don't message me again, m'kay thanks!

[Twinge]

Seriously feeling belittled each time...

[Kintsukuroi.]

1) I liked it so much better when you weren't here, and I only dealt with your shit when you called but now that you're home you're driving me insane. I can't handle this. Blah. It's the same old crap so stop repeating it.

2) I thought I saw you today in the window watching me, I completely lost it and had a panic attack. Why do I see you when I know you're gone and never coming back. Please leave my mind forever, I don't ever want to see you again..anywhere.

3) so much for never leaving, guess I meant nothing to you. no more replies, no talking. Guess I should work on distancing myself from everyone to spare me the hurt of everyone eventually leaving.

4) you are driving me batty, you bitch at me for not helping out more so I put all the send all the laundry down the chute to be sorted and vacuum and tidy up a little bit then I get in trouble because I'm taking the housekeepers job?!? Fine. I won't be helpful unless you ask. So sorry you're always working and never home. Well guess what? You miss a lot of crap going on, so next time you botch at me for taking L out to celebrate getting on the elite team, MAYBE THINK THAT YOU SHOULD GOD DAMN MAKE TIME IN YOUR SCHEDULE TO TALK WITH YOUR KIDS AND HECK MAYBE ACTUALLY TAKE THEM OUT WITHOUT IT BENEFITING YOU. Whatever. I don't care anymore. I will do the best I can, and you just don't bitch at me

5) I'll miss you

You know, you have every right not to like someone. I will support you in your right not to like someone, even if it's someone who is an incredibly important person in my life. But it's just downright disrespectful to talk bad about my boyfriend like that twelve inches from my face. I know that at least one of you knows that I am in a relationship with him, yet you had the gall to say the things you did. That's just rude and hurtful. Maybe next time think twice about who is around before you start bad-mouthing someone.

[Choose]

Just... fuck you.

I still think too much about you. Wish it could have been you instead and I don't know why.

[Sienna]

I miss you come back

[Rivière]

Please stop kicking that ball around. You've been doing it for about 3 hours now and it's getting ridiculous.