Say something you wish you could say to their face.

[Storyteller.]

Terrible doesn't even begin to cover it.

- Part of me wants to talk to you, but I'm not sure how the rest of me does. I wish you well with everything, but for now I think I will stay silent.

- I never realized how much was missing with you. Little things here and there, things I never thought were that important, but they add up over time. Maybe I am just misremembering the past now out of my frustration with how things have gone between us these past few months, but I don't know. I do wonder how you will respond if I do show up at that party with him. I know you'd be classy; you would never tell me how you felt about it. That was one of our problems, though, wasn't it? I couldn't tell you how I felt, at least. But I know that you might just talk to someone else about it. After all, you told me things you thought and felt about other people. I'm certain you say the same about me to others. I just never really thought about it much before.

- I'm worried, but I'm trying not to be. I'm really trying to get better about this kind of thing.

[Kate*]

I REALLY hope I don't end up having to say I told you so because if I do it means my life has fallen apart. The one thing you CAN'T say is that I didn't try. If it comes down to that you know better that I do that it doesn't work overnight, but I know that if that drops low enough, you won't have a choice.

[Jovial.]

*sigh* I wish you would talk to me. It doesn't even have to be about yourself. I just need some advice and you have always understood me way better then most people even if we haven't spoken in ages.

[bitesize]

-You were actually ok to work with today... thank you.

-I really appreciate that you mentioned that meeting to me this evening. I'm not sure why - maybe I like that you took the time to confide in me?? (Although maybe you said it to the other guys.) You know, I think my stupid, annoying little crush has started to have run its course and I've fancied you less every day and liked you more as a workmate and friend. Anyway I hope tomorrow goes ok for you.

-You guys are just great... I felt so crap all night in work and didn't want to talk to anyone... and then staying afterwards for a cup of tea and a chat cheered me up so much. I like that we all get on. Thank you.

- Love. What was with last night?? I felt so shite all evening today because it just felt like it wasn't us. You seem so impatient with me these days. Some things hurt me a lot... like 'you're so negative,' I can see where you're coming from but I'm not and that's not the case with what was going on. I felt so guilty over the whole sex thing, which you're usually so great with.
And why,why why did that whole jealousy over people in work thing happen?? Why?? God it made me feel so sad, I can't stand when you feel bad and I really have no idea where it came from. I hated that you felt jealous about me letting Dave know I got home safe, I hated that you made me feel like I'd done something wrong. And why are you so convinced I fancy someone in work?? Yeah there was that stupid crush for a while that's pretty much disappeared now, but that was never a threat to our relationship in any way - that person is not good-looking or attractive and could never compare to you.

I just would like if we were still the way we were a while ago... but we're changing and I'm not sure how much longer it's going to go on.

And the whole 'I love you bitesize and I'm sorry if this hurts' thing but you keeping going...?? That made a part of me feel ice cold.

-That status was blatantly meant for me and it made me feel shit. Why did you do something so immature?? Also our friendship would be a lot easier to maintain if it didn't feel like you had a constant vendetta against me. :/

[Choose]

I think you are an emotional mess and can't realize how valuable you are. I don't want to associate myself with you at times, which is a reflection on me, but I also want to be there as a good friend in your time of need.

You confuse me to no end. I don't blame you for anything.

[craz33me]

Babe, I love you and never want to lose you. I don't know what I'd do without you, and I'm scared. I'm scared because this is the one time in my life I've trusted anyone as much as I do you.

[Kate*]

The one day you don't cover the background information is of course, the day I present and yet I knew that was going to happen. In fact, I may have accidentally asked for it by self-initiating to make sure I was going to be okay. Yet another example of why I SHOULDN'T do that and I know I will get criticized for not doing it, but apparently, it's MUCH better for me if I don't.

[bitesize]

I hated hearing that stuff last night, it broke my heart a little bit. I love you so much and I felt like we were better last night than Saturday night, and it was really good for us to get that. But I can't stand the idea that you're not happy and it upsets me so much

[Rivière]

I wonder how long it'll be. Not very long I should imagine.

[Sammichez]

I think you're really cute and I want to go out with you sometime .

[mindflower]

I don't know if you want to talk to me anymore if you would give a shit if I did or if you'd notice if I fell off the face of the Earth or if you just want me to disappear completely, but I think you need to know some things. For starters, yes, I'm mad at you, but I'm more mad at myself for believing you'd be different. Like I believed the other guys, I believed you too and there's good reason I did so; because you and I have too much in common and frankly we needed each other. When I found out about you and that other girl, it broke me and it felt like I had lost you when really you weren't mine to lose. I felt disgusting and used and vulnerable on a whole new level when with you, I used to feel very safe and understood. And now I miss you terribly but I have to tell myself not to because you've changed too much and you slept with someone else. You did the one thing I didn't want to do, you told me it was okay that I was with you because we had something, and then you go and fuck this other girl and probably tell her the same shit. But another thing you should probably no, is that what I told you, about my life, and what I told you about yours, was all true. You are amazing, and strong, and good-looking in ways I can't explain, and you saved my life in certain ways other people can't. I only hope I helped you in some ways, but now I see you and you look miserable but I'm miserable too so I try to tell myself you deserve it but at the same time... I know you need saving... you need love. But you didn't come to me for it. And that's where it hurts. I'm sure many other girls are in the same spot I was, minus the fact that we had something destructive in common, and you have probably forgotten about me as have your friends and I have my guy and though he doesn't make me happy enough to live he's keeping me here as best he can... so I don't know what's gonna happen from here but I don't see any reason you'd want me anymore....

[~fallenangelsflyagain~]

I miss you. I want everything we had back.
But I can't bear to speak to you, to look at you, to hear your name--it hurts too much. You hurt me.
You're better off without me.

[JaimeGTimms]

I want so badly to trust you again. To be able to make this work. I want you to want me and to want to make this work too. I know that we will not be fixed, and that we shall not be together, but I wish so so badly that we could be.

[Rivière]

If I could, I would tell you just how beautiful you really are. But that would not only be awkward, but probably weird. Especially coming from me. So yeah. Moving on...

[Kate*]

That's part of YOUR job, not mine, but I DID try to get it for you. I don't have time to wait for somebody to call me back since it's first thing in the morning. But I tried.

I just want to get through this in one piece and not have my dream end today or have it cost a fortune. Can you do that for me?

[Eternal]

We broke up 4 years ago. Stop talking bad about me behind my back, there's no need for it.

[Ral.]

You aren't real, as if you can control me. I'm stronger than you think, you know.

- Don't push me on this. I said "No" for the time being, and that means "No." Don't ask me when can we revisit it again, or assure me that you know really what you're doing. I'm sure you do, but that isn't going to change my answer, and I'll let you know when I'm ready to. So kindly, step down, before I have to spell it out for you a little clearer. I like you; I don't want to have to show a side of me that isn't so "cute."

And yeah, part of it is the fact that it looks like I may start dating someone else. While I'm flattered at the interest, I'm not looking to start exploring two new relationships simultaneously. I wasn't even looking to start dating again, so this is new and cautious territory with one person, let alone two. Part of me is worried that, should he and I step out in public, you will be inwardly judgmental about it. You might assume I was just looking for someone to hook up with, and he got to me more quickly than you (which actually isn't true; I sought him out). But then I think, fuck that. What you think about it isn't my problem. Especially because it isn't true. Yeah, our goals align more, but I also have had a more solid connection with him. I wasn't sure about what you were asking of me even before I went on a date with him. So, if he and I do go public, I would hope you don't jump to conclusions about my declining you and the fact I am dating him. But if you do, that's your problem, not mine. I hope you wouldn't make it mine.

-We seem to click so well that it's a bit overwhelming, and if I seem hesitant, that is why. My emotions are telling me to jump in, but my brain is telling me to be cautious. I want things to be done "right," to work out, and while I've learned by now that in life and relationships the best things rarely go as planned, part of me still tries to control everything. So just know that I want to be happy and I want you to be happy, and if I seem to freak out a little or get anxious it's just because I want those two things to happen in the best way possible.

[Jovial.]

and my heart skips a beat, darling every time you go

[ThisWillDestroyYou]

...I quit.

[Ral.]

FUCK OFF, HOPE I DON'T SEE YOU AGAIN, BECAUSE MY ANGER IS GETTING UNCONTROLLABLE.

Even though you've done nothing wrong, I'm sorry for how I act.

[bitesize]

Her text was so much nicer and friendly and less stressful than yours would have been. Not sure how but your texts always stress me out or make me feel like I've done something wrong , even when it's something as simple as you asking about booking tickets to the cinema. Hers were nice and inquiring and friendly and didn't make me feel negative. How can you learn the difference...??

[Pirouette]

Are you ignoring me now? Why, what did I do?

- Back. Off. I said I'd approach you when I'm damn good and ready. If you're this pushy what the hell makes you think I'll want to take things further? So step down. Now.

- You were in my dreams last night. It bugged me. I really feel like things are unresolved between us, but I'm not sure how to resolve them. We never exactly had that kind of relationship. So I guess I'll try and do it here:

I'm not sure what happened. The last time we hung out we had a good time. Is it because of what I asked you? Are you just depressed? I don't know. But your sudden lack of interest and communication hurt me. It's important for me to be able to keep in contact with people I'm involved with. I understand needing a break. But you need to tell me that. It's not okay to just drop me.

As for that party? Not cool either. You invited me first, then backtracked, which might have been okay, except for the rest of it. It's fine to let me know "later in the week." But later in the week means more than 24 hours in advance, not six hours before the damn thing. It required an RSVP and stuff to bring, that wouldn't have given me nearly enough time. And as for the other thing, don't tell me you aren't okay and then when I ask say "Oh, I can't say what's wrong." If that's the case don't mention it in the fucking first place.

And then when I saw you two months later you barely spoke to me. So no, I probably won't contact you again. I want something more reciprocated. It's fine if you want to bitch about your life, but you could at least take more of an interest in mine than just doing the equivalent nodding and saying "uh huh." I need people who are interested in me, consistently. Or if they aren't available at least tell me. So best of luck. If you figure your shit out, let me know. Then we can talk.

- I may have embarrassed myself last night. I will back down a bit. You know where I stand, and you can just rise to meet me at your leisure. I can (try) and be patient. But that's hard for me. When I know what I want, I know what I want. So you may have to bear with me on this.

I also got anxious when you said that. I would have offered to help you with dinner anyway, since I can't stand watching someone running around cooking for me, and I enjoy shared kitchen time anyway. But instructing me I would made it feel like some sort of task or test. It doesn't feel organic if I feel like I'm going through a process in steps. I like those steps to happen naturally, not clearly set up (i.e. discussed). It's hard enough to relax already when I'm around a new person I like without feeling like I'm being consciously assessed. I'll roll with it because it's just what works for you, but know it's a bit of a challenge for me.

[CrusadingAvenger]

Have I been doing okay? What does it look like to you? You didn't bother talking to me for a very long while, not even just saying hi. Now, here you are wanting to be here for me...Do you really think that I'm going to believe that you're going to stay true to that? How will I know if you really mean it? Where were you when I was going through tough times, or even just on regular days? You don't even bother to check up on how I'm doing. When I was still talking to you, I treated you right. I was kind to you. I respected you. If there was ever a time you needed someone to talk to, I was there for you. What did you do? You just took it for granted, and you didn't even bother being considerate enough to do the same for me...Now, I never ask for that in return, but in some way, indirectly I do. Do me a favor: if you're going to make a promise to someone, make sure you mean it. There's no in between with that; it's either you do, or you don't.

[bitesize]

This night last year (or the night before) the three of us were lying in bed in C's flat sobering up and talking about how close we'd all become as a class in a mere two months. While we talked you were touching me, putting your hands underneath my clothes and down my thighs and up my back and I didn't stop you because it felt wonderful. Even while your boyfriend was spooning you on the other side. Sometimes it still surprises me how much you annoyed me as a friend...but how I fancied you like crazy. And still kind of do.

That feels like a million years ago now.

[Rivière]

I know you're concerned and all that but barging into my room, not knocking or bothering to let me wind down after work does not help.

[craz33me]

I hope you realize how much I love you, and how terrified I am of losing you.

[Kate*]

I lied and I want to admit to it, but I'm afraid of what will happen if I tell you the truth. Not because you'll judge me, but because of what you will be forced to do and the impact that will have on my life.

Here's an idea: Why don't you do what I'm paying you for and TEACH me how to change it; instead of copping an attitude and telling me I don't belong in the profession because of it.

[Skeleton]

Considering how boring our conversation was today, I'd happily not speak to you again. Clearly we can't manage being friends, especially as you're a dick 99% of the time.

- While I am sorry I said those things the way I did, that doesn't mean the feelings behind them aren't legitimate. And while that might make things more difficult for everyone else, it's not fair for me to keep my feelings about it bottled up, either. I have just as much a right to speak up and be heard. And THAT is not something I will apologize for.

- Sometimes I don't want to deal with you because I feel like I'm just a child around you. And I know that as long as that perceived inequality is there, we will never be able to be together again.

- It would make my weekend if you texted me while you were gone. I would feel so happy just to know that you were thinking of me.

[Astrophile.]

Now I remember the reason why I kept you at a distance. Thought you could change, but that will obviously never happen.

[i_like_black]

I wish you knew how terrible I already feel about the things I do. I wish you knew that when I do those things, it feels like there's no other option. I know you're disappointed in me and it's probably going to affect my future housing but I really was trying to be safe, and it's so hard. All the things that feel like they'll help are all the things people tell me I shouldn't be doing, or should be finding alternatives for, or using skills instead, and it's so hard. So, so hard. I wish you knew that I already felt bad, so that when you said your piece you'd realise I was already triggered, and that how you spoke to me triggered me worse. I know it's not your fault and I know I did something wrong, and I really am sorry, but I guess people won't believe it. And I feel like gradually I have less and less options, instead of more. Life is so stressful right now, I hope soon it will calm.

I'm sorry, I'm struggling to stay in recovery but relapse is so easy right now. I don't want to ask for respite because I've been there too often lately and I want to cope at home. The only problem with coping at home is that it seems in order to cope at home, I have to self-harm. I know it's problematic and I know you'll want me to do a couple of chains on Tuesday, it's weird. I'm not low, I was feeling okay, I was feeling calm, but I just got triggered so badly and I don't know. I fail at therapy, how will I ever succeed at life? My thoughts are running rings around me and although I'd love your input, I'm scared to ask, I'm scared to be vulnerable, I'm scared to be weak, I don't want people worrying, and most of all, I want to graduate P.E.T. I'm standing in the way of myself.

I don't need you to love me. I don't need to be the best partner you've ever had (nor do I think I am). But I do need to know that you enjoy spending time with me, in my company. And even more importantly, I need to know that you value what I am giving you. I need to know you recognize the level of trust I am placing in you. I need to know you view it as a privilege, because it is. And if you don't see it that way, I need to know now, because I don't want to go down this path with someone who doesn't feel the same way as I do about what this arrangement means.

If you don't see it that way, we don't have to stop seeing each other. But I will need to not invest quite as much into this right now.

[bitesize]

I hate that when I sometimes talk about work, particularly the guys in work, you go all quiet and I know it's because you think I like one of them. It drives me crazy. Who do you think I fancy?? WHY do you think that?? What could I have possibly said that could have given off that vibe?? it upsets me that it makes you insecure and then I can't relax when I'm with them. They're all lovely guys but I don't fancy ANY of them and they all know and respect the fact that I have a boyfriend and there's none of whatever you think is happening, happening. Please please please don't fee so insecure.

[hocus pocus]

Are you stupid? No, the right question would be how stupid are you? You want me to get the course code which I, as a student have no access to when you fully have access to it. I deserve more than half credit on that paper but whatever, I'm done with you. I'll just take a 91% as a final grade and walk away.

[blurryface]

I don't give a fuck if Panama City is Shangri-La and John is the second coming of Jesus Christ. FUCK OFF AND SHUT UP. I'M NOT GOING WITH YOU. I don't wanna spend Christmas with you because you'll just put the burden on MY DAD to get me back to Texas. Stupid. Selfish. Bitch.
If we don't stop in Austin, I'm getting my shit, getting out of the car, and walking.

[Kate*]

You say you want me to be successful so tell me this: How am I supposed to succeed when everyone in authority is telling me that I don't belong in my dream job, telling you that they aren't saying that to me, and then getting no consequences while I am 2 seconds away from having my life fall apart? My self-esteem was already non-existent. Either tell me the truth with respect or give up, but STOP CONFUSING ME and letting me waste my time if this isn't really going to happen.

The people who identify people's strengths for a living find very few, if any in me.
All I ever get is criticism, even when I ask for what I do right.
When they manage to find a few strengths they give me a million reasons why those are wrong too

I self-initiate and ask for help to fix my weaknesses and I get:
No such help
Inappropriate attitude and disrespect
Told I don't belong in the profession that has been my dream for half of my life
Told I don't self-initiate (see above)

So, I approach someone with more authority who I feel is on my side until:
He starts to lose patience (although I don't blame him)
He talks to them and they deny what they said and therefore continue to avoid consequences for saying it.
Which makes me start to think that he's been convinced that I'm lying to him when I'm not and I have people who will back me up.
All while being told not to be paranoid about the fact that I'm 2 seconds away from having my world collapse

You'd want to quit too.

[KimmyKitty]

I don't want to be your friend anymore. You have caused me lots of pain and you just aren't good for me.