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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 6th 2012, 01:52 AM
Give me a chance, will you? You tell me I'm beautiful, that I'm huggable, sweet, and all that, but you won't give me a chance to whoo you? - I love you.... And I have to live with you being my friend.
I'm Trans. Yup. Not your little baby girl. Your little baby gender queer FT-male bracket case! Don't you love me anyways?
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.... Why don't you have pride picnics anymore? Why don't you? I actually fucking need support and pride, and yet you guys don't have them anymore. I thought annual meant every year. Guess not. Thanks for abandoning me.
I've said it once, I've said it twice, I've said it a thousand fucking times
That I'm OK, that I'm fine, that it's all just in my mind
But this has got the best of me, and I can't seem to sleep
It's not 'cause you're not with me, it's cause you never leave
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 6th 2012, 03:00 AM
B: You don't understand how badly you're hurting me. But I won't ever tell you that because you're the one on the verge of suicide and convinced you mean nothing. You don't understand how badly you scare me when you threaten and then stop texting, calling, or messaging me on facebook. You don't understand. You couldn't.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 6th 2012, 03:32 AM
I really wanna fucking stab you and get it over with already.
My feelings meant something to you, but not the way I Intended.
Go ahead, say you never wanted me, say you never wanted to have me born. Say it, I dare you too, because then its gonna go straight to my heart.
If someone I love leaves me, I promise to kill myself one day.
Anne Frank is one epic Bitch.
My mother looks like Princess Diana.
Don't you all wish we were a celebrite's child, I do.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 6th 2012, 06:02 AM
I lied, I wasn't sick yesterday. I told everyone I was sick but needed to stay for theatre so no one would question why I didn't go the the clinic the first time I threw up. I went four days without letting my stomach digest anything, I threw everything up. My body started to reject everything; water, coffee, even saliva. Every time I swallowed I threw up a little. I wanted to let it happen, maybe if I throw up everything without making myself, then I'll finally be skinny because no one could stop me. Had Bethany not figured out what was going on, I would have let it continue. I know I would have.
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!
Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 7th 2012, 01:32 AM
You scared me. You sometimes still do scare me but i do miss you though. I know you're trying to change your ways. I have hope in you no matter what. If i could i would help you start your new life
"Do not Dwell in The past, Do not Dream of the Future, Concentrate the Mind on the Present moment."- Buddha
"A Life Spent Making Mistakes Is Not Only More Honorable, But More Useful Than A Life Doing Nothing." -George Bernard Shaw
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on." -Robert Frost
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 7th 2012, 02:47 AM
You make me happy. Like, really happy. You act like you actually want to be around me, like you actually want to talk to me. I never want to stop talking to you, you're such a funny, handsome, amazing boy. I'm self conscious about the way I look and act and you make me forget about all that. Because you know what? You make me feel pretty. You make me feel like I'm worth something. You accepted the fact that I was bisexual, and you didn't shove your Mormon religion in my face, and I didn't shove my music religion in your face, we had a talk about it and it didn't get heated. You taught me how to swing dance, and we danced in front of everyone at Spring Fling. Call me crazy, but I think one day I'll be able to tell you about the trauma I've endured in my life, how I used to cut, and how I've attempted suicide and still feel depressed, because you give me that confidence. We're not together. I wish we were. If we were, though, I'd tell you, because I trust you. You give me more than anyone's ever given me. Please turn 16 already.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 7th 2012, 06:34 AM
ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou. Not only do you make my life worth living, you also make me feel important. You calm me down so well. It's insane. I love you.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 7th 2012, 07:49 PM
You're not going to any other college except the one I'm at right now. Ya know why? Because you have shitty grades & we can't afford much else. Deal with it & grow up.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 7th 2012, 09:19 PM
I wanna lean on you. I want to feel stable, I wanna get a drug-free high, I wanna be intoxicated on you.
Please, I don't wanna drink or do drugs anymore.
Promise me you won't think I'm ill or unstable when/if you find out.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 8th 2012, 06:03 PM
i told you some of the MOST personal things about me, my most embarassing secrets, you...
told everyone im close about something you had no buissness telling them about and laughed, to make it worse they laughed too, and more so it was while i was stood there, you knew i couldnt react because you didnt tell them my name...
you were one of the first people i came out to, you were supposed to be my best friend, later i get told that my sexuality made you feel physically sick
you talk behind my back and then act like you never did AND if i find out it was never your fault
you have the cheek to ask me to come to town for your birthday?!? are you kidding?!? i NEVER want to see you again....
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 8th 2012, 06:21 PM
I feel like things aren't okay with us. Like they've changed & I don't know how to get back to where we used to be.
I really hope I'm wrong & just being over-sensitive.
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 8th 2012, 11:21 PM
I'm more than just that quiet girl, the one who always tries to hide it when you make her smile. I swear. I'm trying. But I don't know what to say. And I can't trust automatically, so it's better if I just stay silent...
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 10th 2012, 09:18 PM
Ok, what the fuck is your problem with me?? Every time I get a notification saying you've commented on something my heart sinks because I know it'll make me feel crap. It seems like you keep finding ways to get at me. it seems like you're angry at me for something, but I've no idea what. You're always contradicting everything I say and it's really beginning to bother me. Fuck off and stop being a catty bitch.
Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
.....
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 10th 2012, 09:32 PM
You will never know how much I hate you, and the worst part is that it's not even your fault. What frustrates me is I don't think there's anything I can do about it except watch and wait and hope.
"Ignore the ramblings of the ignorant, and step on or over their crumpled bodies as you make your way to the top of the mountain. Eat upon their flesh for fuel, and, through your determination and will, banish them to obscurity and a life of complacency and self righteousness that is the hell in which they live"
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 10th 2012, 09:48 PM
I love you all for being so understanding for helping me It means so much to me. I see all of you having problems and I wish I could just make them all go away, but I wouldn't know how. Can people like you be real?
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 11th 2012, 05:13 AM
Thank you so much. You have no idea how much you mean to me. You've helped me through so much without even realizing it. You're why I am where I am today and you're why I'm going to continue to get better. I love you so fucking much. I really hope you know that.
wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
April 11th 2012, 11:48 AM
I don't want to work with you because I don't want to live.
I don't want to tell you that because it just sounds lame. I don't have anything I can kill myself with, so it's not like I'm in any danger.
So, what's the point of telling you? It won't achieve anything. We'll talk around the same circles that have been talked around for years.
I binge eat. I've never told anybody. I get these cravings. And I feel like I can eat whatever I'm craving until there's no more left, or I'm so full I feel nauseous. And then sometimes I keep eating, because the flavours are so. good. even though I feel sick and I don't need any more food. I think that's part of the reason I'm so fat. It's definitely part of the reason I have no money all the time. I can't even pay my Mum the right amount of rent, I'm so obsessed with what if I can't get the food I want. But I would never, never tell a psychologist, because of how shameful it would be. You can't admit to binge eating, especially when you can't successfully purge. It's so ultimately deprecating, far worse than being anorexic or bulimic . . . because everybody hates the fat girl with no self control. And I'm that girl, weighing a 3 digit kilogram number, which everybody knows is a lot.
I'm depressed all the time. I mask it by deliberately displaying symptoms that I know get listed as elevated. I never admit to the hopelessness or the despair, although maybe they assume it's there. I don't admit that I swing between severe insomnia and severe hypersomnia, where I go between struggling to get 2 hours sleep to sleeping 16 hours in a single day. I don't even know if it can be considered a symptom when it's so inconsistent. I suffer from constipation and diarrohea when my moods are worst. I've never been able to admit to it - how do you admit to a clean, fresh smelling psychologist that your bowel movements are one of your symptoms? You just . . . can't.
And the constant, never ceasing, urge to cut, to do something drastic, to find some way out. It never ends. IT NEVER ENDS.
And if anybody happens to both read this, and care, and feel the urge, please PM me. Please.
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!
Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.