Questions for the opposite sex

[Aeolian]

Originally Posted by PlayingPretend

If they expect me to carry the conversation. I'm often the initiator and can carry or dominate a conversation where needed but if I'm the one initiating 100% of the time or the one carrying it, or attempting to, then I end up giving up on having a conversation at all. A little bit of shy/awkwardness is fine in the beginning, but I'm going to ultimately assume someone doesn't want to talk to me if their answers are pretty much full-stop answers, as in they give me nothing to respond to. I've often found this to be correlated with insecurities etc. but it's unfortunately one of those things that does not encourage me to continue pursuing a friendship or relationship with the person.

Conversely, I don't like someone who comes off too strong or who dominates the conversation themselves. By coming off too strong, I mean someone who's extremely flirty or especially too affectionate too quickly. I don't need to be told how much someone would like to do me during the first or second conversation any more than I need to be told how special I am yadda yadda. It comes off as desperate. And I don't like someone who's constantly on about themselves and respond with one word answers or none at all when I try talking about me.

It's all about a balance, I s'pose? Conversation is about give and take and so is relating to someone. Some people can't read others to save their lives, but that's when you stop looking for the physical cues/body language and start listening to what's being said. It's usually pretty obvious when someone's not returning the same strength or level of conversation that you're putting out there.

This is what puts me off from talking to people both online and IRL. There are other things, sure, but those are the few that prevent me from even giving the other person a chance, really.

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, I think the same way

[Choose]

Not sure if this has been asked yet but I will give it a go (for anyone willing to answer):

What do you guys and gals think of going for a kiss on the first date? Good move or no?

[ertyuio]

Originally Posted by 2 Wheels > 4

What do you guys and gals think of going for a kiss on the first date? Good move or no?

I think that it depends on the scenario. Most of the time, if the mutual attraction has been built up over a relatively large period of time (from months to years), then I think that it'd be very acceptable and probable. But if it's someone attractive you met a few weeks ago and are just interested in...probably not the best move so early in the potential relationship. In any event, it's never good to generalize -- always go for how the situation feels and play it by that.

[Acheron]

Originally Posted by 2 Wheels > 4

What do you guys and gals think of going for a kiss on the first date? Good move or no?

Always go for a kiss on the first date, unless you don't want to see her again. If you go for the kiss early, and she's attracted to you, she'll be surprised but flattered. If you don't go for it, she'll think that either you don't like her or you're too scared to try.

[LeftTeenHelp]

This is a question for the ladies,

Mine and me hate what the other one likes but were very devoted to each other, it's been a year and a half now, what should I do about that?

[Firesong3]

Originally Posted by AggroBrutallyHonestOi!Boi

This is a question for the ladies,

Mine and me hate what the other one likes but were very devoted to each other, it's been a year and a half now, what should I do about that?

Find something new that you both like? Give her likes a try, unless you've done that before. Or simply don't worry about it since you have common ground elsewhere I'm sure.

[Gingerbread Latte]

Originally Posted by AggroBrutallyHonestOi!Boi

This is a question for the ladies,

Mine and me hate what the other one likes but were very devoted to each other, it's been a year and a half now, what should I do about that?

There's no problem with you both having different hobbies

In fact, I read an article the other day that says it's healthy for you to have different hobbies to partake in.

If you want to do something together though then perhaps find a new hobby that both of you can enjoy

[LeftTeenHelp]

I tried that, still none, we have the same values so that the most important, but having fun together is important too :/

[justfallinginlove]

Its true most girls like to win. I like to win.

Why are guys afraid to commit?

[CvcSly3]

It might be because they have a fear of less freedom and also how even though they'll have someone to be there for them, they'll also have to be there for someone else.

[ertyuio]

Originally Posted by justfallinginlove

Why are guys afraid to commit?

Just a tip for future reference, try not to make it sound like you're generalizing based on gender (or any other group of people, for that matter). It's highly irritating.

Some men are afraid to commit, because it means that they have less freedom (in a sense). After committing (say, to an exclusive relationship) casual dating of several people -- even expressing curiosity about others -- is usually out of the question. Also, as CvcSly3 said, committing means that one has to be an emotional support system, which some men don't feel they can handle.

[Hope Mosteller]

Originally Posted by tk338

Ook, easy one, well I dont want to seem too particular, but I love Brunettes, erm winter time is my favourite time of year too, because I think girls look amazing in their winter outfits (most guys want girls out of their clothes, weird I know =/)

Preferably Christian and Unlike my ex Id love her to be really clingy and just devoted to me...

I remember once someone asked me this question and I managed to write nearly an A4 side on my ideal girl, I was really specific! But no because the next day I went out and met this lovely girl, literally the next day, and she contradicted everything I had written down! And its happened again recently.. A girl Id never have thought of describing, but I really liked her.

Shes just got to love me, not cheat and be someone I can have fun with, I generally like girls who others dont consider 'pretty'...

Ive given up on relationships for now because there are no girls here who really even like me (my exs' wonderful backstabbing work)... How did you meet your partner, if you have one?

Dont give up on love.....dont ever give up. Im 16 and i have been looking for the exact same thing. I just want a guy that loves me for who i am. I am a cheerleader at my high school & all the guys want to date because im a "cheerleader" but i dont want to date someone for there popularity. Guys only seem to think that just because im a cheerleader & do other sports that i only date one type of guy but thats not true. You dont have to be a football player or some big shot, all i want is to be loved & valued & not only becase of sex but because of other things. I want to be told im beautiful & for him to really mean it. I want to spend time with a guy with out him only seeing sex. Even after everything ive been through i STILL HAVENT GIVEN UP ON LOVE. Dont ever let love go. Im in a foster home. ive been in and out all my life & alot of people have hurt me but i still never give up. Have u tried stop looking for love & let love find you??? It may be right in front of u. you may just be looking to hard for love & over looking who loves you back!!!

[Hope Mosteller]

Originally Posted by Hope Mosteller

Dont give up on love.....dont ever give up. Im 16 and i have been looking for the exact same thing. I just want a guy that loves me for who i am. I am a cheerleader at my high school & all the guys want to date because im a "cheerleader" but i dont want to date someone for there popularity. Guys only seem to think that just because im a cheerleader & do other sports that i only date one type of guy but thats not true. You dont have to be a football player or some big shot, all i want is to be loved & valued & not only becase of sex but because of other things. I want to be told im beautiful & for him to really mean it. I want to spend time with a guy with out him only seeing sex. Even after everything ive been through i STILL HAVENT GIVEN UP ON LOVE. Dont ever let love go. Im in a foster home. ive been in and out all my life & alot of people have hurt me but i still never give up. Have u tried stop looking for love & let love find you??? It may be right in front of u. you may just be looking to hard for love & over looking who loves you back!!!

[TigerTank77]

Alright ladies.

Lets say you go out with a guy, He's talking about his hobbies, and he mentions falconry. "Falconry?" you ask. He nods and yells something.

Suddenly, a freaking falcon drops out of the sky and places several of your favorite flowers on your lap, and then lands on his arm.

On a scale of one to ten, how likely would it be that you'd sleep with him?

[Evanesco]

Well, that wouldn't make me sleep with him, but if I liked him already, he was nice, good looking and I got on with him, the bird would up his chances. I like birds of prey.

[PlayingPretend]

Originally Posted by TigerTank77

Alright ladies.

Lets say you go out with a guy, He's talking about his hobbies, and he mentions falconry. "Falconry?" you ask. He nods and yells something.

Suddenly, a freaking falcon drops out of the sky and places several of your favorite flowers on your lap, and then lands on his arm.

On a scale of one to ten, how likely would it be that you'd sleep with him?

I think that'd be brilliant, but it wouldn't sway my feelings or sexual desires for anyone.

[Strawberrymuffin]

Originally Posted by TigerTank77

Alright ladies.

Lets say you go out with a guy, He's talking about his hobbies, and he mentions falconry. "Falconry?" you ask. He nods and yells something.

Suddenly, a freaking falcon drops out of the sky and places several of your favorite flowers on your lap, and then lands on his arm.

On a scale of one to ten, how likely would it be that you'd sleep with him?

0 before marriage, 10 after marriage. And 4 and a half considering him for marriage
For guys since you know guys: If a guyfriend has flirted with a girl tons and given her hints and this bothers her because meanwhile he liked someone hes now going to date, should she confront him about it before moving on as friends with him? Like, why did you do that when we were perfectly good friends and were you playing? Or do you think hes not worth it and played the girl whos his friend?

[BoneAndDream]

Girls: if i liked a girl and wanted to spend time with her, should i like, ask her to come over and play her a song or something? i dont have friends so its not like we could go hang out at the mall with people or something :-P. and ive never had a GF before so i dont know how to like....talk to them.. thats kind of a pre-existing problem of mine..

[Veni Vidi Vici]

My question for girls: What does it mean if a girl you don't really talk to just starts randomly texting you things like 'What's up' and 'I'm bored.'? Don't get me wrong, I talk to her at times at school, but not often. It's summer now, so we haven't seen each other for about a week and a half..

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

Originally Posted by Carpe Diem

My question for girls: What does it mean if a girl you don't really talk to just starts randomly texting you things like 'What's up' and 'I'm bored.'? Don't get me wrong, I talk to her at times at school, but not often. It's summer now, so we haven't seen each other for about a week and a half..

I personally don't think it means much. I do that sometimes to friends (both girls & guys) so I can keep in touch with people. I don't do that as much since my boyfriend & I started dating, so I guess it means it could lead to more, but I think it's just neutral unless it's like a ton of texting or flirting. But that's just my opinion.

[sam-i-am]

Originally Posted by OfThePoisonHeart

Girls: if i liked a girl and wanted to spend time with her, should i like, ask her to come over and play her a song or something? i dont have friends so its not like we could go hang out at the mall with people or something :-P. and ive never had a GF before so i dont know how to like....talk to them.. thats kind of a pre-existing problem of mine..

That is definitely a possibility if that is something you/she would enjoy. Being that you have difficultly talking to girls and a group outing isn't really an option- a movie could be a good idea instead. It can let her know that you're interested and provide conversation topics post-movie, too.
And don't worry about not being able to talk to girls, just try. It will come with time, comfort, and practice.

[Age of Ignorance]

Originally Posted by Strawberrymuffin

For guys since you know guys: If a guyfriend has flirted with a girl tons and given her hints and this bothers her because meanwhile he liked someone hes now going to date, should she confront him about it before moving on as friends with him? Like, why did you do that when we were perfectly good friends and were you playing? Or do you think hes not worth it and played the girl whos his friend?

I'm not friends with many guys and I am only like this if it's completely harmless and the other reciprocates/knows, but I'll try to give this a shot anyway.

I don't think she should confront him about his behaviour. Perhaps, if the flirting continues and she remains friends with him while he's going out with this other girl (and the time frame depends on who the girl is and how irrate she gets with the flirting), then I'd probably say something about it but mean it in a friendly non-confrontational way. Either that, or the girl could prevent the guy from continuing to flirt with her if she's uncomfortable with it - from my experience, flirting isn't a one-way thing; the other has to understand that it's flirting and must play along for it to continue.

He could be playing with her, you never know. Some guys are just flirts and are like that - they play harmlessly without intent to go any further.

[bipolar]

i know you usually hear this about guys, but i'm also afraid to commit. not really afraid... i just don't want to. i don't think its a good idea or something ill ever be goodo at.. ok im afraid. so would guys find that... ya know... a turn off. like once they find out that about me they'd run screaming?

[ihatemylife1]

well I usually am good with sex if they're lacking I'll teach them. I'll make them realize they love sex. I enjoy sex by making a girl really enjoy it. I'm a great pleaser I'm told. So I wouldn't mind doing most of the work. As that's how I get off.
I've never cheated on a gf. If I don't like her I'd just tell her. Yes I do have a need to be sexually attractive to girl I'm not sure I read that question right. Most girls tiny and short I love. 5'1" my gf is and 6'4" I am. I don't mind it. I like smaller girls actually. My dream girl is short tan complected large eyes prefferably blue. And light brown to blonde hair. I like tiny girls with nice cheekbone structure. I like a girl I can cuddle with that loves me for me that I love and we will forever take care of each other. A girl I can lean on when I'm sad and she can rely on me as well. I don't like traditional thoughts or judgemental people either.
most if my friends are girls. It doesn't bother me.

[zakc40]

Question for girls, whats the best quality you like to see in guys, either as a friend or as a boyfriend?

[SouthernBelle.]

Originally Posted by zakc40

Question for girls, whats the best quality you like to see in guys, either as a friend or as a boyfriend?

A great personality. Someone who doesn't reply in monosyllables while looking you up and down. Someone who can both carry out intelligent conversations and be crazy and random.

Now, as a boyfriend, that's pretty much the same thing. Only he has to be someone who doesn't comment on good-looking girls while talking to you. 'Cause that's just not cool, and it's rather annoying.

... unless he doesn't mind you commenting on them along with him, lol. But that's in my case.

[lovela84]

Originally Posted by drowningangel

Yay. We do have this back. How nice. Although we had PAGES before all this happened.

I have a question for the guys and girls out there:

How important is sex in a relationship to you? If the sex isn't good, would you still stay with that person?

I think sex is 50%. Sex is more than just that would it is feeling close and comfertable with that person. It is a connection you both share with just eachother. Unless you both never want to have sex if it is not good don't stay that will only lead you to seeking others out thier who might fullfill your needs. If all your needs are not met you should not stay it will just cause problems in the realtionship later down the road.

[Allons-y!]

Originally Posted by zakc40

Question for girls, whats the best quality you like to see in guys, either as a friend or as a boyfriend?

Intelligence. Someone who knows shit, and who pushes me to work harder and stop being mentally lazy.

[PlayingPretend]

Originally Posted by zakc40

Question for girls, whats the best quality you like to see in guys, either as a friend or as a boyfriend?

Intelligence, and not only memorised or trivial intelligence but honest intelligence. Need to be book smart and life smart or I won't be interested. Someone who's stimulating and keeps me on my toes. I need to be challenged because I get bored quick. Spontaneity or a brilliant sarcastic and/or mean sense of humour is okay compensation for lack of genius-ism.

[ThePolarPanther]

Question for both guys and girls...

What would you rather, if you had to choose one?

A) Your boyfriend/girlfriend falling in love with another person?

or...

B) Your boyfriend/girlfriend having sex with the opposite sex(multiple times)?

And, why?

[PlayingPretend]

Originally Posted by Mistpool5

Question for both guys and girls...

What would you rather, if you had to choose one?

A) Your boyfriend/girlfriend falling in love with another person?

or...

B) Your boyfriend/girlfriend having sex with the opposite sex(multiple times)?

And, why?

A, because it's involuntary. I don't feel that people can control who they develop feelings for or who they fall in love with. People can, however, control whether or not they have sex with somebody else. Cheating on your partner is a voluntary action and as such, at least for me, it'd hurt a hell of a lot more. And I'm not saying it wouldn't hurt if they fell in love with somebody else, because it'd probably kill, but it's not a betrayal. I'd be more likely to accept it as something that happened and that I couldn't control - maybe we weren't as compatible anymore/as I thought - than cheating, which would come with more repercussions simply because they would have chosen to do it.

[Acheron]

Originally Posted by Mistpool5

Question for both guys and girls...

What would you rather, if you had to choose one?

A) Your boyfriend/girlfriend falling in love with another person?

or...

B) Your boyfriend/girlfriend having sex with the opposite sex(multiple times)?

And, why?

Either would be a betrayal, and either way I'd drop her. Hard. But for pretty much the reasons Elliotte gave, I think B would be worse (OK, there are ways around it, like an open relationship, in which A would be worse). It's a deliberate act of betrayal. I take the cynical view that if a girl falls in love with someone else while she's in a relationship, she was probably out looking for it. But it doesn't take the same total lack of respect that cheating does.

[PSY]

Originally Posted by Mistpool5

Question for both guys and girls...

What would you rather, if you had to choose one?

A) Your boyfriend/girlfriend falling in love with another person?

or...

B) Your boyfriend/girlfriend having sex with the opposite sex(multiple times)?

And, why?

A, without a doubt, for the same reason Elliotte mentioned.

[WashoutThePain]

For the men


What's the biggest PHYSICAL turn off you men see in women?

Whats the biggest EMOTIONAL (traits/characteristics) in a woman?

[TigerTank77]

Originally Posted by Bitch, Please

For the men
What's the biggest PHYSICAL turn off you men see in women?

Excessive weight, too much makeup, fake tan.

And the duckface.

Originally Posted by Bitch, Please

Whats the biggest EMOTIONAL (traits/characteristics) in a woman?

Ignorance and unwillingness to accept and learn new things, and being proud of it.

[ertyuio]

Originally Posted by Bitch, Please

What's the biggest PHYSICAL turn off you men see in women?

I find excessive weight, poorly-cared-for skin, and large breasts major turn-offs, most of the time.

Originally Posted by Bitch, Please

Whats the biggest EMOTIONAL (traits/characteristics) in a woman?

Gullibility, ignorance, and sexual promiscuity (to a degree) are very, very unattractive to me.

[Acheron]

Originally Posted by Bitch, Please

What's the biggest PHYSICAL turn off you men see in women?

Whats the biggest EMOTIONAL (traits/characteristics) in a woman?

Biggest physical turn-off is definitely fatness. While my physical type is slim, pale, and red-haired, I can compromise on anything but slim. Fat girls squick me. Fake tan is also a big turn-off, as are bad skin, every aspect of the "chav" look, and razor bumps. I guess that an annoying voice is also physical rather than emotional, so put that on the list as well. I have a lot of physical turn-offs.

Emotionally, I hate neediness, game-playing, and stupidity. Sluttiness is also kind of a turn-off, although I assume that any attractive, non-fundamentalist girl my age has already worked her way through at least 25 cocks.

[Lugez]

Originally Posted by Bitch, Please

For the men


What's the biggest PHYSICAL turn off you men see in women?

Whats the biggest EMOTIONAL (traits/characteristics) in a woman?

Excessive makeup, or when it looks like the girl tries too hard. I'm a fan of simple. Weight too, but only EXCESSIVE weight...I guess that's it.

I'd say clinginess and dependence. Don't expect me to do everything for you, and I like my privacy from time to time.

[Veni Vidi Vici]

Originally Posted by Bitch, Please

For the men


What's the biggest PHYSICAL turn off you men see in women?

Whats the biggest EMOTIONAL (traits/characteristics) in a woman?

PHYSICAL: definitely too much make up, but also weight to the point where it's obvious you're looking after yourself, and not making yourself look slutty eg. those super small/tight/black TNA pants some girls wear...

EMOTIONAL: ignorance, cockiness, being too emotional about random things, touchy, dishonest.

[PlayingPretend]

Originally Posted by Carpe Diem

PHYSICAL: definitely too much make up, but also weight to the point where it's obvious you're looking after yourself, and not making yourself look slutty eg. those super small/tight/black TNA pants some girls wear...

EMOTIONAL: ignorance, cockiness, being too emotional about random things, touchy, dishonest.

I love you for this lmao. I hate those - they really get under my skin - and no one knows/gets why. 0.0