Questions for the opposite sex

[hardtail]

This is for the girls. What is the important features you look for in a guy?

[Gaia]

Originally Posted by hardtail

This is for the girls. What is the important features you look for in a guy?

I look for someone who can make me laugh, a fair amount of intelligence, taller than me, and a nice smile.
I have other things I like, but if the guy is awesome in other aspects, I can overlook them. But those one's up there are pretty much what I want.

Of course, it changes from person to person, so this won't be true for everyone.

[*.Good.Things.Coming.*]

I have a question for guys...how patient would you be if your girlfriend or person that you liked was raped?..like would yu wait for her to be ready to do things? or not?

[CvcSly3]

I wouldn't even be concerned about a relationship, but rather helping them cope with what they went through and make them feel better again. That will take more time, but if they want a relationship to have someone there who understands and sees their point of view, then I might consider a relationship.

[Scrag]

Why are men so intimidated by smart women?

[Acheron]

Originally Posted by Scrag

Why are men so intimidated by smart women?

I'm not sure that they are, necessarily. In my own case, while obviously I could be attracted to any sufficiently hot girl, I'd get bored very quickly with any girl I didn't see as an intellectual equal or near-equal. Although having been mostly raised by a smart woman, I'm used to it.

I think that often it isn't simply being a smart girl that intimidates guys. However, a girl who constantly makes a point of demonstrating her smarts could well be seen as unattractive. No-one likes a know-it-all, and there's still an assumption that girls should be less assertive. Also, it can often be the case that it isn't really the intelligence scaring guys away. While it's obviously possible to be both smart and physically attractive (), girls who trade heavily on their intelligence in the dating market tend to be those who don't have more primal things going for them. Is it actually your intelligence scaring people away, or are you just not physically attractive?

[bigwheel]

Originally Posted by *Sassy.Kassy*

I have a question for guys...how patient would you be if your girlfriend or person that you liked was raped?..like would yu wait for her to be ready to do things? or not?

I'd wait for as long as it took, i wouldn't be with her for 'one thing', i'd be with her because i liked being with her

[katie4evrr1]

To the guys...
since im shy i usually have the hardest time putting it out there that im in to a guy, how am i supposed to get your attention?

To everyone...
Why do people think it is such a big joke to be Blonde?

[Scrag]

Originally Posted by Acheron

I think that often it isn't simply being a smart girl that intimidates guys. However, a girl who constantly makes a point of demonstrating her smarts could well be seen as unattractive. No-one likes a know-it-all, and there's still an assumption that girls should be less assertive. Also, it can often be the case that it isn't really the intelligence scaring guys away. While it's obviously possible to be both smart and physically attractive (), girls who trade heavily on their intelligence in the dating market tend to be those who don't have more primal things going for them. Is it actually your intelligence scaring people away, or are you just not physically attractive?

A really interesting observation, about girls being less assertive. So I guess the real issue here is why can't girls be seen as assertive? I agree with you about not being a know-it-all, and that applies to everyone.
Also, I like to think I'm attractive enough (even though it sounds really pushy to say it!)
So do you think it is best to pretend to be coy and subvissive, if all you're after is a bit of attention from guys?

[Acheron]

Originally Posted by Scrag

A really interesting observation, about girls being less assertive. So I guess the real issue here is why can't girls be seen as assertive? I agree with you about not being a know-it-all, and that applies to everyone.

That one, I don't know the answer to. Could be thousands of years of male domination, but that seems as much question-begging as anything else: it could only have arisen if girls were already less assertive. I wish I knew.

So do you think it is best to pretend to be coy and subvissive, if all you're after is a bit of attention from guys?

That depends on what sort of guy you're after. If you want a guy who is quite shy himself, you need to beat him over the head. If your tastes run more to assertive, confident guys (wouldn't surprise me), being more coy and submissive could well help.

[ertyuio]

Originally Posted by Acheron

If you want a guy who is quite shy himself, you need to beat him over the head.

Very well said.

[Scrag]

Originally Posted by Acheron

That depends on what sort of guy you're after. If you want a guy who is quite shy himself, you need to beat him over the head. If your tastes run more to assertive, confident guys (wouldn't surprise me), being more coy and submissive could well help.

Thanks for the tips, I think I will try it. I know I'm considered a loud and pushy person, but I think it's because I have a lot of responsibililty for someone my age. Do you think If I calm down and just go along with the guys it will help?

[PSY]

Originally Posted by SaVeMeFrOmMySeLf96

To everyone...
Why do people think it is such a big joke to be Blonde?

There is actually a very interesting story behind the origins of the "dumb blonde" stereotype. Anyway, once the media picks up on an idea and runs with it, it's very hard to do away with the stereotype. If you have blonde hair, the way I see it, you can do one of two things: dye your hair a different color, or laugh along with the occasional blonde joke. EVERYONE deals with stereotypes, regardless of your gender, race, age, economic status, etc. It's all in how you choose to handle the stereotype. =)

[katie4evrr1]

Originally Posted by PSY

There is actually a very interesting story behind the origins of the "dumb blonde" stereotype. Anyway, once the media picks up on an idea and runs with it, it's very hard to do away with the stereotype. If you have blonde hair, the way I see it, you can do one of two things: dye your hair a different color, or laugh along with the occasional blonde joke. EVERYONE deals with stereotypes, regardless of your gender, race, age, economic status, etc. It's all in how you choose to handle the stereotype. =)

thanx i mean I guess I get that its a joke but it stops being funny after awhile.. I mean hearing it over and OVER again gets agitating but your right. Ill just brush it off and keep moving forward. Better then getting mad anytime i hear one.. i guess Im just trying to prove that they are wrong that blondes are dumb, i mean i dont consider myself dumb and it makes me mad when people make that judgement before they get to know me. But again your right everyone deals with stereotypes and I will just earn to deal with it.. Thanx for the advice!

Okay another question, i havent gotten my first kiss yet and my friends think its weird since im going in to highschool next year.. i mean i want to save it for a serious relationship but i havent found a good guy yet. Should i really make this big a deal out of it? or should i just get it over with? I mean its just a kiss, right?

[ertyuio]

Originally Posted by SaVeMeFrOmMySeLf96

Okay another question, i havent gotten my first kiss yet and my friends think its weird since im going in to highschool next year.. i mean i want to save it for a serious relationship but i havent found a good guy yet. Should i really make this big a deal out of it? or should i just get it over with? I mean its just a kiss, right?

If you feel comfortable and close enough to a guy you like and are in a good relationship with, then kiss him! It isn't something to obsess over; to be honest, it's a bit overrated Nobody's a good kisser the first time, but once you do, you'll learn fast and you'll enjoy it thoroughly. Just relax!

[you'rebeautiful]

Originally Posted by Hyper Sonic

Q: Is there ever a time when a man can never say the right thing to a woman's problem?

Hmm... no, I don't think so. When it comes to anyone's 'problem', I think that there's always something to say that isn't wrong, even if it doesn't exactly help. "I don't think that there's anything that I can do, but I love you and I'm around to listen and be there for you 100%" is something that a friend of mine said to me recently, in response to what even I would call a dead-end statement. There's always something to say.

[you'rebeautiful]

Originally Posted by hardtail

This is for the girls. What is the important features you look for in a guy?

The first thing I really pay attention to is how he reacts to/ interacts with the people around him... I guess that'd be overall attitude. I like guys who smile and laugh with what seems like sincerity, because it's a sign to me that they're not taking life too seriously, and that they find joy or at least good-spirited amusement in the world around them. I like laugh-lines. I also pay attention to how he articulates himself... to me, this is an indicator of intelligence and of conviction... I like guys who are comfortable saying what they need or want to say, but who also do so thoughtfully. Also, group behavior. I like a guy who can tell his friends when they're being dumb or mean or whatever in a casual, automatic, assertive sort of way. It shows that he stands up for what he believes in, and is his own person... but that he can also be tolerant and hang out. I especially pay attention to the way that a guy treats the women around him, and women in general. Hahahah, I know that this isn't your typical list, but it's what counts for me/ attracts me to someone. Everyone's different though

[Acheron]

Originally Posted by hardtail

This is for the girls. What is the important features you look for in a guy?

I'm not a girl, obviously, but I can offer some advice. Don't get too hung up over a girl's preferences. While every girl carries a checklist around in her head, it's worth precisely the paper it's written on. Chemistry trumps preconceived notions of the ideal guy every time. Learn how to approach with confidence and how to treat girls properly ("properly" here means something entirely different from what many girls will tell you) and watch their "important features" crumble.

[Something Clever]

Originally Posted by Scrag

Why are men so intimidated by smart women?

Because they are insecure and have been taught by their sexist culture that men must be superior to women, otherwise they are deemed incompetent. However, at some point, I don't believe this is a sufficient excuse. It is just sexist and arrogant.

Originally Posted by hardtail

This is for the girls. What is the important features you look for in a guy?

Healthy self esteem and respect for all people, without any prejudice.

[NevermindMe]

For Girls, is it true nice guys finish last?

- Justin

[Choose]

Originally Posted by JKmadu619

For Girls, is it true nice guys finish last?

- Justin

There is a difference between being nice and a pushover/ doormat.

Which are you referring to?

[Heretic]

I have an open question, but I don't feel like it's worth my own thread, so please, feel free to give me input here. (This is for the ladies, by the way)

If you have a guy friend who is in love with you, would you rather he tell you to get it out in the open, or not say anything in order to prevent awkwardness in your friendship?

[PSY]

Originally Posted by Hyperion

I have an open question, but I don't feel like it's worth my own thread, so please, feel free to give me input here. (This is for the ladies, by the way)

If you have a guy friend who is in love with you, would you rather he tell you to get it out in the open, or not say anything in order to prevent awkwardness in your friendship?

I think a lot of girls will tell you that they would want to know, because to a certain degree, many girls have had crushes on their close male friends from time to time. To be honest, though, whenever friends have told ME how they feel, it's felt awkward. That's probably because, once I'm close friends with a guy, they're firmly in the "friend zone". The only friends who stand a chance are people whom I've just met or don't know too well. It really is going to depend on each girl, though. For example, I tend to be very direct when I like someone. If a friend likes me... well, chances are I don't like him back, because if I DID, I would have asked him before he had asked me! Many girls are too nervous to tell friends they like them, though... so sometimes, it's not awkward at all, and it leads to amazing relationships. =) Some people can also avoid much of the awkwardness... but I'm not one of those people. xD

[lovedocter707]

questions for females:
How do u know when u really like a guy
How is is like on ur period
Would you die for a loved one
When will you know when a guy is horney

[Harmony♥]

Originally Posted by lovedocter707

questions for females:
How do u know when u really like a guy
How is is like on ur period
Would you die for a loved one
When will you know when a guy is horney

I know when I really like someone when I would do anything to make that person happy, other than altering myself to fit their preferences.

I'm going to answer what it's like to be on my period, since it's hard enough to explain anyway.

Yes, I would die for a loved one. No matter what the circumstances.

I think most females can tell when a guy is horny, unless your referring to how do we know when a guy is horny? If so, that differs for men and woman, as we all show that we're aroused in different ways.

[PlayingPretend]

Originally Posted by lovedocter707

questions for females:
How do u know when u really like a guy
How is is like on ur period
Would you die for a loved one
When will you know when a guy is horney

How do I know when I really like a guy? Same as you would know when you really like a girl! For me, it's been different each time. My feelings for my ex took an entirely different path than my feelings for my current boyfriend. My feelings for a crush before was different to both them.

As far as what it's like being on my period, again, that's something that's different for all women. The only thing I experience during my period is the mood aspect of it. I have terrible moods. But physically, I don't really suffer for it.

This is a complicated question, so I'll say it'd depend entirely on the situation.

And if it's someone you're romantically involved with, then I would say you learn to pick up on the cues. On top of that, there's a gut feeling that pretty much kicks into play even if you're not involved with that person.

[Heretic]

Why is it that when I ask a girl (even one I'm not in love with) what she wants for Christmas or her birthday, she says she doesn't want anything.... and then drops hints everywhere about things she wants. Why not just say "It would be nice if you could get me ______"? I don't care about subtlety. If you want it, and I asked if you want something, then I should try to get it for you, and you shouldn't beat around the bush about it.

[PSY]

Originally Posted by Hyperion

Why is it that when I ask a girl (even one I'm not in love with) what she wants for Christmas or her birthday, she says she doesn't want anything.... and then drops hints everywhere about things she wants. Why not just say "It would be nice if you could get me ______"? I don't care about subtlety. If you want it, and I asked if you want something, then I should try to get it for you, and you shouldn't beat around the bush about it.

Because girls tend to be subtle about lots of things. =P It's hard for most girls to overcome that initial feeling of, "Oh my gosh, I'll sound sooo selfish if I ask for [object]." They may also want to avoid putting pressure on you, or they may say, "Nothing," out of politeness. They may worry that you won't be able to find the object in question, or you won't be able to afford it. Girls have sooo many reasons for NOT being more direct. So the next time a girl says, "I don't want anything," wait a day or two, then approach her again and say, "No, seriously, what would you like for your birthday?" Sometimes, when confronted a second time, girls will cave in and tell you what they're really thinking. =P It will also help you avoid all the subtle hints, because you'll get a real answer the second time you ask. Good luck!

[Evanesco]

For guys:
Would you rather date a skinny girl or a fatter girl?

[PlayingPretend]

Originally Posted by DemolitionLover

For guys:
Would you rather date a skinny girl or a fatter girl?

I'm not a guy, but I can speak from my preferences and from the preferences of my friends.

There's a balance. I don't feel it's black or white, "skinnier" or "fatter," because it depends on how you define either of those words. I can't say any of my male friends have been attracted to someone bordering on being obese, but they aren't keen on Victoria's Secret models either. They all generally fall in some sort of a spectrum, but whether that's liking women fit/toned or with a soft tummy, all of that has still been in the healthy middle of "skinnier" and "fatter." I think it also has to do with height/build, too, and proportions, at least for me. Some people I don't even notice are on the bigger end, or rather, it doesn't register for me as that that person is overweight, whereas someone could be the same weight but of a different height and build and if I were asked, I would probably pin them as overweight. But all of my guy friends, and it seems a lot of guys in general, prefer something to hold on to, as opposed to feeling like the person is all-fragile and all-bones, and oftentimes, they prefer this in someone who's within a healthy range of their BMI.

[Allons-y!]

Originally Posted by Acheron

I'm not a girl, obviously, but I can offer some advice. Don't get too hung up over a girl's preferences. While every girl carries a checklist around in her head, it's worth precisely the paper it's written on. Chemistry trumps preconceived notions of the ideal guy every time. Learn how to approach with confidence and how to treat girls properly ("properly" here means something entirely different from what many girls will tell you) and watch their "important features" crumble.

Quoted for absolute truth. I can say I'll never fall for a guy who wears his hair in X style or listens to Y kind of music or does Z for a living, but the truth is, if I meet a guy and there's a spark, I forget all about the things I thought I wanted before.

[Acheron]

Originally Posted by DemolitionLover

For guys:
Would you rather date a skinny girl or a fatter girl?

Wouldn't say skinny, because a girl needs a little bit of fat to soften her and smooth out her curves. Emaciation is far from attractive. But I definitely go for the more slender end of the spectrum. I don't want a chubby girl.

[Age of Ignorance]

Quick question for the girls:
What's with this whole "can't date a friend's ex" rule?

I understand what it is, just not why it is.

[Allons-y!]

Originally Posted by Composure

Quick question for the girls:
What's with this whole "can't date a friend's ex" rule?

I understand what it is, just not why it is.

For me, depends entirely on what her relationship is with her ex. I'd imagine it would be the same with guys: if you're not over your ex, obviously, it'd have to be a pretty shitty friend who went out and banged them when you were still hurt.
Other than that, it's kind of a possessive thing. Like, you may be broken up, but your ex still sort of feels like your ex. To put it in a better light, you share a history with your ex. You felt a connection to them. And sometimes, even when you're over them, it's hard to see them have a new connection with someone so close to you.
And sometimes, friends just vow not to date their friends' exes for a variety of reasons, one being that the ex in question has already been deemed unacceptable. Haha.

[TigerTank77]

Alright. Ladies, what are the best ways to tell if you like a guy?

Details about me and this girl:
-Used to hang out a lot
-Haven't seen each other in mad long
-at the moment only talk on facebook/texts
-Always been easy to make her laugh, she laughs hard, even at shit I really don't think is that funny
-lotsa smiley faces my way

Before I start dropping hints at her or actually tell her, I'd like to be a little more confident in my chances.

[Wilhelm]

Originally Posted by tk338

Ook, easy one, well I dont want to seem too particular, but I love Brunettes, erm winter time is my favourite time of year too, because I think girls look amazing in their winter outfits (most guys want girls out of their clothes, weird I know =/)

Preferably Christian and Unlike my ex Id love her to be really clingy and just devoted to me...

I remember once someone asked me this question and I managed to write nearly an A4 side on my ideal girl, I was really specific! But no because the next day I went out and met this lovely girl, literally the next day, and she contradicted everything I had written down! And its happened again recently.. A girl Id never have thought of describing, but I really liked her.

Shes just got to love me, not cheat and be someone I can have fun with, I generally like girls who others dont consider 'pretty'...

Ive given up on relationships for now because there are no girls here who really even like me (my exs' wonderful backstabbing work)... How did you meet your partner, if you have one?

I'm the same way!

[Wilhelm]

Originally Posted by Scrag

Why are men so intimidated by smart women?

I can't stand talking to a "dumb" girl, it drives me insane! i've only dated "smart" girls, and they were a lot a fun to be around, I'm still friends with them!

[Heretic]

Originally Posted by Scrag

Why are men so intimidated by smart women?

This seems like an unfair generalization.

I have a crush on a girl who's consistently in the top five of her class. Truth be told, if a girl is too unintelligent or ditzy, I can't have a conversation with her, so I lose interest in just about everything else about her.

A smart woman is an engaging woman. An engaging woman can keep my attention. And that makes both of us happy.

I think that some men are intimidated by smarter women because they want to feel superior in every part of the relationship, and a woman's brains outwitting a man's just bothers the guy for some stupid egotistical reason.

[Aeolian]

Hmm.. first time seeing this thread, and I grabbed some of the earlier questions that I thought were interesting

Q:I'm completely oblivious to being hit on. If it happens to me I never catch on. If a guy talks to me I think he's just being friendly. Are there any signs that I can look for if a guy is hitting on me?

- lol, I actually wish more girls were like this because it's awkward to talk to someone and have a nice chat if they think you are just trying to hit on them O.o

Q: For the guys: What would your ideal girlfriend be like, what qualities would she have, personality and looks-wise.

- I would be interested in anyone, as long as there is a connection between us. Someone whose company I enjoy and someone want to be closer to and be around. Other than that I think everyone is attracted to people of a certain type. For me it's girls that are open with their feelings and don't over think things, always active and in the moment, energetic and happy, and are still capable of smart/deep/critical thinking. I like someone who has interests of their own and their own life who also wants to be a part of mine and openly shows their love and trust.

Q if you are doing something that your gf dislikes, how would you like to be told?

- Straight forward, but still politely. It's waaay better to talk about it sooner than later. I don't want to be doing something they don't like and have them feel too timid to say something about it.

Soo here's my question, for guys or girls, What puts you off towards someone, what makes you not want to talk with them, maybe even online?

[PlayingPretend]

Originally Posted by aleolian

Soo here's my question, for guys or girls, What puts you off towards someone, what makes you not want to talk with them, maybe even online?

If they expect me to carry the conversation. I'm often the initiator and can carry or dominate a conversation where needed but if I'm the one initiating 100% of the time or the one carrying it, or attempting to, then I end up giving up on having a conversation at all. A little bit of shy/awkwardness is fine in the beginning, but I'm going to ultimately assume someone doesn't want to talk to me if their answers are pretty much full-stop answers, as in they give me nothing to respond to. I've often found this to be correlated with insecurities etc. but it's unfortunately one of those things that does not encourage me to continue pursuing a friendship or relationship with the person.

Conversely, I don't like someone who comes off too strong or who dominates the conversation themselves. By coming off too strong, I mean someone who's extremely flirty or especially too affectionate too quickly. I don't need to be told how much someone would like to do me during the first or second conversation any more than I need to be told how special I am yadda yadda. It comes off as desperate. And I don't like someone who's constantly on about themselves and respond with one word answers or none at all when I try talking about me.

It's all about a balance, I s'pose? Conversation is about give and take and so is relating to someone. Some people can't read others to save their lives, but that's when you stop looking for the physical cues/body language and start listening to what's being said. It's usually pretty obvious when someone's not returning the same strength or level of conversation that you're putting out there.

This is what puts me off from talking to people both online and IRL. There are other things, sure, but those are the few that prevent me from even giving the other person a chance, really.