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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
Two years ago I was with my first boyfriend at a party. We'd broken up but were still in love, but his parents hated me so he couldn't tell them we were together. That night I met someone who thought I was beautiful. I stayed at the party with him when my first boyfriend went home. We then dated for a year and a half. I wish I had chosen differently, but I don't have the guts to tell him.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I love him and I wish I didn't.
I hate his girlfriend. I know I'm not pretty enough. I know that my real friends are the ones I treat the worst. I want to get away from someone I thought was my friend. But I know it won't happen because I'm not strong enough to do anything on my own. |
Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
It scares me how easy it's gotten to lie and that I don't felt guilty anymore.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I am afraid that I will never be completely happy with anyone or anything in life.
Every day I worry that what I feel now is not real, that this will all pass as everything else seems to do. And nothing helps for longer than a few nights. |
Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I don't believe anyone cares. And nothing anyone says changes it.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I am so confused. I don't know what any of this is.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
it wasn't completely an accident when i totaled my car last week.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I have myself convinced that nobody really cares what happens, nobody really loves me, nobody really cares. Nobody can make me believe these irrational lies.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
i'm pretending to be friends with her,
so that i can talk her into leaving him alone so i can have him. it's horrible; but she needs to let him go. she can't keep playing with him and hurting him. he'd be so much happier with me. |
Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
My Dirty Little Secret.
I masturbate, even when I have no reason to. It's a horrible thing to me, and I hate it. I don't say "I love you" because I don't mean it. I closed my heart to most people, but when i try to open it, there's something that tells me not to, because I will always be hurt. I feel like I don't deserve happiness or love. So I constantly make myself feel bad, or think of myself as depressed so I don't have to be happy. I want to run away. I want to die. I want to get rid of this life. I'm not worth anything. I hate myself. And I feel that no one is going to love me for who I am. That every compliment I receive is fake. No one means what they say. I constantly hate myself for causing the pain in my life. I don't deserve this. |
Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I'm coming to visit and you don't know yet.
But I'm terrified when you see my face you'll walk away. Please don't? |
Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I should tell you how I feel but I'm scared you don't care anymore. Why did I fall for someone that hurts me?
I push away everyone that matters to me and I can't stand it. Why do I keep making myself unhappy? |
Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I wish I could dance like they do on Dirty Dancing and this older movie called Dance with me.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I am NEVER smoking pot again lol
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
1. Sometimes I regret falling in love
2. I hate most of my family 3. I love to hate 4. I'm constantly getting jealous of my best friend 5. People I stronly dislike I wish them dead 6. I like to use my brother's body wash even if it makes me smell like a guy =P 7. Most of the time i'm wearing a fake smile |
Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I think i'm going to end up turning to drink one day.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I've kissed girls before, but there are only three people who know it out of everyone.
I tell everyone that I don't care about him, but in the back of my mind I know if he asked me out I would say yes. There's this one guy in my science class who I would totally have a one-night stand with if he wanted it. Don't judge me, those are my darkest secrets revealed. |
Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I still use his deodorant because it makes me feel safe. He still comes and stays with me when I need somebody to look after me. He's the one I'll call instead of upsetting her in the night. I know she's jealous and it makes me laugh. :p It's not like I'm going to steal him, is it? OH HAI STALKER. <3
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
Quote:
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I was looking for her.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I can't believe that he is always on my mind since I don't even know why I'd care about him...
I hate people. Why? They are extremely immature and always make a big deal out of nothing. They lie, they cause pointless and unnecessary drama and they are just awful. Why am I wasting my time? Why is it impossible to have a conversation with my dad without getting into an argument? Will I ever be able to have a life and be a normal teenager? I constantly have an urge to drink. However, I don't since I'm afraid of my dad... |
Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
No, I'm not okay. I don't think you love me.
I seek attention and compliments elsewhere because I don't get any from you. This makes me sound like a spoiled brat, I know, but I'm not. I'm really not. I just want to know that you care about me. You have made me cry more times then I can count. I want to be strong. I want to not let this affect me. But... I can't. I really can't. All my yelling and screaming that makes you yell back at me and make fun of me to everyone else behind my back... don't you see!?!? Don't you see that's the ONLY way I can get attention from you? I'm NOT a spoiled, self-absorbed brat. I'm not! I... I love you. Do you love me, too? Do you? Sometimes I don't know. I don't think I can keep up this act anymore. Please. Please. I need you. I want these feelings that you hate me and don't care about me to go away. We fight every day, mommy. I know we do, and I know you're tired of it. I am, too. But... you spend all your time cleaning, or with Jeremy and Thomas, and you'd never look my way if we didn't fight. And daddy... you're never home. Except for in the mornings. When we're at school. And you don't come home until after we go to sleep. I miss you. I just want to know that you're proud of me. Wow. That felt good. |
Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I'm happy is the saddest lie.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I want to run away.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I'm making plans, just in case.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I never never look more than a week ahead... It scares me...
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I can't promise to never leave because I no longer value my life. I guess you can say the biggest lie I'm living is the one that promises I'll always be here and alive.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
Like Penny with Leonard, I don't want him to know I'm not entirely smart. I'd love his help with my math work (cause he's brilliant), but I know he's busy like always, and mainly I don't want to admit I can't remember how to do things I knew when I was 8. I used to be academically advanced, but stopped caring. Wish I had a Sheldon to go to for help... except he IS my Sheldon.
I'm always mixing up my "acquaintances" with my "friends" and when I sort them out, the results are kind of saddening. |
Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
Last night I finished writing my suicide note. Just in case things get really bad, I'll be ready.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I really don't know how much longer I can do this for. It's wearing me out physically and mentally. I'm seriously ready to go back to cutting. It helped way too much. I'm about ready to give up, a little at a time. Starting with school, and ending with my life.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I'm terrified of getting too close to anybody because sooner or later they all leave. :(
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I\'m starting to like her..
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
It doesn\'t matter if I don\'t want to.. I am probably going to flunk this year, i just can\'t take this shit any more. Who knows what else I will ruin.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I\'m absolutely terrified.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
1. I kissed him. I dont want to be with him, but it felt so good. he makes me happy. I still wonder if i love him. I stil wonder if we\'re soul mates. when its just us 2, everythings perfect. then other people come around and it all falls apart.
2. i dont think i can handle a relationship anymore. its driving me crazy. hes always getting on my nerves. i dont think i love him anymore, but i need him and i dont want to loose him, dont want to hurt him, and definately dont want anyone else to have him. I shouldve got out months ago when i found out how much he loves me. i just wanted him to be happy and prove i was better than his ex. 3. Ive started cutting again. 4. Ive been thinking about injuring myself enough so i get put in hospital. it means i get away from home, get away from college, and find out who actually cares.... |
Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I think I\'m falling in love with someone who I\'ve only known a few weeks ... and is leaving in a few more. It scares the hell out of me but I don\'t want it to stop.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I could have killed myself over your hesitation. maybe i will.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
texting him to freak out last week over the crap he was talking about me.. after not talking in about 7 months.. turned into making up.
and im scared. im scared to put myself in this situation again. im afraid i still love him, but for who he was before.. because he seems to have changed SO much.. he drinks everyday regardless.. has cheated on every girlfriend since me.. and god only knows what else.. :( |
Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I could have killed myself over your hesitation.
I don\'t know if i\'m relieved or disappointed you called back. |
Re: Dirty Little Secrets.
I have a date, the energy, the means.
Do I carry on like nothing is going to happen? |
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