Dirty Little Secrets.

[xxpaigiexx]

I hate the fact that I feel for you.
I seem to be doing so well for ages and yet you get a grip of me again.
I really and truly do hope it is different now and you're different as you said.
I know you're not a bad person. I know you're not and it's my choice if I get involved with 'someone like you'.
I realised today there is so much more to you than i ever gave you credit for and I do truly hope you've changed. You seem like you're different, not in massive ways but little things.
I want to spend some more time with you and just see how things go.

[myra1994]

I hate him and yet he's the brightest light that has come my way in a while.

[Amy_xx]

I only hang around with her because i've convinced myself that something will happen between us - she's the most straightest person i know.

My first time was in a toliet with a girl i didn't even know but i made it look like he was my first time because i'm too afraid to admit who i really am

[Hdjdjdjduvieg]

I want you to love me. But I just love to lust.

[MadPoet]

I base my opinion of myself off the opinions of others. And right now people don't like me very much...

I think nose rings are cool

I want to cut. Just because.
Even though I know it hurts you.
& I'm not sorry.... yet I really am.
Does that make any sense?.

[Minor Seventh]

I've looked up his phone number in the phone book and had to force myself to do something else so I didn't call him.

[imaginarybird]

I want something awful to happen to me, just so I have justification for the way I feel.

[Hdjdjdjduvieg]

I love you when you're not around. But once we are together, it all fades away and I just lust for you. I can't explain it.

[MadPoet]

I'd do anything at all to be accepted.
And that's starting to scare me.

You caring just isn't enough to make it all go away. I'm sorry..

I want to give up right now, but I can't.
Sometimes I truly wonder if I exist.
I hate the fact that my social life has crashed as of lately.
I want to be away from this girl for as long as possible. I don't want to hear her name or ever have anything to do with her ever again.
I still sometimes hope that Ryan is the one.
I'm only with him because I promised that I'd go to prom. I don't want to ruin everything for his sake.
Not even my best friends know what goes through my head lately. I don't have a voice. Am I mute?
I still don't know what I want to do with my life.

[Something Clever]

I hate myself... More than anyone else I've ever known

Originally Posted by imaginarybird

I want something awful to happen to me, just so I have justification for the way I feel.

I'm in the same boat, yo D;

[MadPoet]

I'm better off dead. And you're all better off without me.

[Gaia]

I loved the way you knew last night, from me hugging you so tight, that it was my way of saying I need you. I can't say it out loud...I can't admit it. But I do. I love you. Forever.

[wanderlust]

i dislike when everything goes right for you because i want you to need me like the old days when you really looked up to me, but i want you to be happy at the same time.

i dont think i can take another rejection after the ecuador comp, much less from my whole year. Nobody realises i really do care about being head girl, it sounds stupid but if i dont get it i will cry and im not gonna tell anyone that i cared. Because i cant do the whole study thing, being loved is all i have.

[Debaser]

You would be like... perfect for me.
But i'm fat and disgusting so i don't blame you if you're not interested.
Although i hear you're interested in her... uhh, why!? She's such a fake, rude, bitchy person.

Blah.

[*~*Simply_Devine*~*]

Only my closest friends know that I have a Master. He doesn't make me wear a collar or anything.However, I do have a small brand that tells others I'm his.

[Hollifire]

I often think of how many people would attend my funeral and how many would cry, although I'm not suicidal at all. I just need to know who actually cares about me.

I break boy's hearts and don't even mean to.

No matter what happens, whoever I'm with, you'll always hold a special place in my heart, even if you never find that out. I'll always love you.

[ElToroLoco]

i did grew to care for my now ex girlfriend, but at first, i told her i liked her just because i wanted to make this other girl jealous. and also cus i though it was bout time i be in a relationship

[SongsaboutHelena]

sometimes I pretend to care
Alex was right, I only act tough cuz it holds me together
Im emotionally scarred and they dont know

Im afraid your slipping away again

[star_crossd]

Last night I thought about killing myself (did you notice my light on in my room late into the night, when self-loathing was tearing me apart?)

Today I'm just fine.

Sometimes I really hate myself and how little control I have over my own mind and mood swings.

[MadPoet]

The person or people I want here right now most, probably don't even exist... even though that makes no sense whatsoever.

The reason I trust everyone to much, people I barely know, is because I hardly trust myself.
I want to trust in something. But every time I do, I regret that I ever did. So how do I trust myself?
I'll definitely regret that to.

If I could be any age I wanted to be right now, surprisingly, I wouldn't pick older.
I'd want to be just... little, again. So that things weren't so hard, and when I needed a hug, all I had to do was ask for one. And whoever was there to give me a hug, it was enough. I didn't need anything but to hear someone tell me that I'd be okay in a few hours. Now I don't even have that. I don't want to get older. For once, I'm scared of getting older. Because each year, things only get harder.

[Insomniacs_Dream]

1. Sex still hurts.
2. Sometimes I really miss the way things were with us before we fell in love.
3. I want to spend the rest of my life with him becase I can't imagine my life without him but before I commit to him forever sometimes I wonder what I would be like just to have two weeks of being single...

[SongsaboutHelena]

I cant tell you who i like cuz its you (:

[musicalbeds]

I wish I had a friend.
I wanna talk and hang out. I wanna go out somedays -to do nothing, drink coffee, watch a film or just walk.
I wish I wasn't like I am. But I don't wanna change...

[star_crossd]

I wish I had the confidence
The smile.
The hair.
The lips.
The eyes.
I wish I had the beauty
To be fearless.

[ElToroLoco]

wish i had friends
wish i was attractive
wish i had a completely different life

[Insomniacs_Dream]

Sometimes. I. Get. Really. SICK. of the DISTANCE

[newbie552]

i wish i could do something different with my pathetic life, even though i know i sound totally spoiled
If people knew my real daily thoughts i'd be forever shunned

[musicalbeds]

I use Facebook only because I want to feel loved by people.
Today is my birthday. None of my classmates would remember it if it wasn't because is there.
I'm such a loser.

[~Emma~]

you're right.
i don't want to move back.

[MadPoet]

You're right. I'm not taking the pills anymore.
Because I'd rather be depressed then know what I'm feeling is fake.

[Grizabella]

The happiest moments in my day are when I can serve my Master. A large part of my day is spent thinking of him. My Master is 38. I'm 19.

My only relationships have been with men at least 10 years older than me.

[Anonymous19]

You know on the outside, if you ever know me, I seem like a very laid back guy who always seems to have a joke for everything and doesn't have a care in the world. But if people knew what was going on, on the inside, and all the anger which is basically a mask for the fact that I'm still unbelieveably sad. Its a real far cry from what basically everyone sees. I try to play it off and make it seem like everything is great and that I'm fine and happy but I'm still crying on the inside and I have absolutly no idea why; maybe I'm lonely, maybe I just hate myself. Its probably both and a another thing that I can't see yet, but in anycase I'm still going to move on with a fake smile on my face because thats all I can do, and I'm not going to allow myself to wallow in my own self-pity. I refuse to let myself get me down because one day, I'm going to beat this shit and hopefully find real happiness and content...I just hope its soon =/

[Brandon]

I'm growing bald. I know that it's not even close to being the hardest thing to deal with in today's world, but sometimes I just want people to show me some sympathy. It is pre-mature baldness, and just because it's not a big issue compared to other people's problems doesn't mean it's not hard to deal with. Everyday I think about what I would look like if I had my hair back -- maybe I'd spike it up and have blond highlights, or maybe I'd just keep it flat except throw some gel on it. If I had hair, I probably wouldn't even cut my hair and just let it grow as long as I possibly could, because I know that it'll never happen. When people complain about their hair looking bad, or they wished it was curly/straight, I just want to slap them with a big wet fish. At least they HAVE hair. The people who have hair don't really understand what it's like without it -- it's because most of them never stop to think about it. Just because it's acceptable for a man to be bald doesn't mean that it's okay. For the most part, I've learned to accept the fact that I will eventually have no hair on the top of my head. But sometimes, at the same time, I just wish that I was born with a different father. I guess that's why my dad and I don't get along sometimes -- it's because sometimes, I just want to punch him in the face for giving me genetic premature baldness. People have denied the fact that I'm growing bald for a couple years...said it was only a cow-lick. I know the difference between a cow-lick and growing bald, but people just didn't want to say anything because they thought that I just couldn't handle the truth.

[ConcealedEminence]

Sometimes life is just so dull. Is this life all there is? Just this same thing every day? The same school. The same people. The same path every single day. There has to be more then this simple life.

Isn't there something more? Part of me knows there is, but my rational side doesn't understand. Magic? Aliens? Other planets? Parallel Dimensions? This world is so small, and this universe is too big for there to be just us. To be just this.

From obsessing over a new crush, to worrying about homework. It's so mundane...Is that why I cling to these stories and characters like they're real people? Sometimes, it isn't just a book, it's my reality. I feel like I have my head in the clouds, and if I do, so what? I don't want to be grounded! I want to believe in more. More then just this simple life.

[chanise]

I know these few months have been wierd for you. I guess its safe to say they were very weird for me too. I did things me and you both know was wrong. And I wish i know why I did them. Even though me and you both and maybe 1or 2 other people have been hurt because of the events taken place its bought me and you closer together. Its been ages and we always knew something was missing... Now that everyone is settled and everyone has moved on and driffted apart. I think we can start... baby steps......we can do it.

[Moyshi]

When they ask what i'll do without you next year, I just shrug and say i'll be fine, it's no big deal.
The truth is, I have no idea what i'm going to do without you. I'll miss you.

[Yh ItS mE xx]

I think I'm in love with her.....

why does a night with the boys always come before a night with me....

[LiveLaughLove]

• its been a year, give or take a few days... but sometimes i still think about it. sometimes, its still hard. still though i'm self harm free.
• my sister is the most physically beautiful person ever, in my book [: sometimes it makes me feel like people are teasing me, when they say i look just like her. not that i find myself unattractive, just, not as pretty as my sis... she'll be like 'hey moonpie (Simone- i couldn't always pronounce it, lol), lets trade boobs' but i wanna be like 'hey engine (Jen) lets trade everything'... which is superbely lame.
• sometimes i get so angry with my brother... because i see parts of my 'old self' in him...
• i end up bruised and sore whenever my mom gets mad... and she has such a short temper.
• i was sexually abused by my father. we don't see him anymore, because he doesn't keep in touch anymore since the split... but nobody knows about the sexual abuse... he used to send me things from his substance abuse hospital... i think i still have some of it.
• i find myself longing for this ex of mine... and he lays it on pretty thick... sometimes its so easy to forget that someone's abusive... and god, that scares me. but i don't want that pain anymore.. emotional or physical... did i mention tha sometimes i feel insecure when he comes up to me and my friends (they don't know) and doesn't acknowledge me? its sick. and then i like it when he flirts with me and tells me sweet things... im scared im falling for his crap...
• i think i'll regret not reaching out to my dad, when he's gone. but i can't get over what happened... i'm afraid of him, and i've got this mild but steady anger/irritation thing going on when it comes to him... and it makes me sad, because i'm really not prone to getting angry at all... i'm really proud of how calm i am, and i feel that its...idk...tainting...
• when things get really bad, the only thing that helps me deal is my music. i don't know what i would do w/o my guitar, and it bugs me because i really try not to be materialistic... > . <
• i want to be an extraordinary girl... i want to be with an extraordinary boy.
• there's just one more thing i can think of... and i can't get myself to type it.