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  (#1401 (permalink)) Old
Ashes2493 Offline
I'm only the monster u made me
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 18th 2011, 03:40 AM
My boss makes me want to strangle kittens, she pisses me off that much.

I take what everyone says seriously even if they tell me they are kidding, or they didn't mean it.



I secretly hope I never see her again.
I hate everything about her, so no I don't want to reconnect, I hope she dies alone, I hate her that much.
 Get a life, stop being so sensitive. She is the only person who can piss me off that much just by being who she is. I don't know what it is, but she just rubs me the wrong way. GO AWAY, SHE IS TOXIC TO ME.

Morgan Lynn 5/15/2010
Henry Thomas 12/15/2010
I love you both unconditionally

Let go of the fear Let go of the doubt
Let go of the ones who try to put you down
You're gonna be fine Don't hold it inside
If you hurt right now, then let it all come out
Breathe - Ryan Star

Your Helpful Tattoo Enthusiast Ask Away!
  (#1402 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 18th 2011, 07:17 AM
If I said I didn't still love you, and want to make you happy, I'd be lying to us both.
If there were a chance it could work out and you'd be happy, I'd take it. In a heartbeat.
  (#1403 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 18th 2011, 04:24 PM
I looked at the test too soon and threw it out. I regret it now. I wonder if it was positive. I'll never know though.

I feel like a failure. I'm not motivated and I don't get things done. I don't feel like I should. I feel so crappy all the time. I'd be a horrible mom, now or in the future.

I looked at you last night...and I didnt love you. I do love you, but for that moment, I didnt love you. I didn't care about anyone. It was really scary...
  (#1404 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 19th 2011, 02:47 AM
I put on a act when I go out. I pretend to be happy and a flirt.
But when really I'm dying inside. :\


No one gets left behind, another fallen soul
No one gets left behind, another broken home
No one gets left behind, we stand and fight together


RestInParadiseDotty,Connor,AndJimmy<3
  (#1405 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 20th 2011, 03:37 AM
shhh... I sneak chocolate kisses in my socks up to my room every great once in a while.

I'm not the happy all the time giddy idiot everyone thinks I am. I'm really jaded, hurt, and done.


Don't you know you're lovely?
Jenn <3
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  (#1406 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 20th 2011, 05:56 PM
I fucking hate myself. The tears that never come are mainly due to the fact that I am a disgusting worthless cow. I wish someone would notice me. I wish I could know what is like to have an amazing guy hold me in his arms and want me, I don't even care if it didn't last forever, I would like that but it isn't a necessity. Lately I have noticed that I only get longings for a guy when my self esteem has plummetted to the extreme. Most of the time when my low self esteem is manageable I am content with the knowledge that that is never going to happen. I am content because I know I can be happy without it. Most of the time I am happy without it.

Fuck me I just wish I could know what it is like to have someone want me. To have someone hold me. To have someone kiss me. To have someone touch me. To have someone smile at me with love in their eyes. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I am looking at thinspiration. God I wish I were that fucking beautiful.
Last edited by DeletedAccount69; July 20th 2011 at 06:09 PM.
  (#1407 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 20th 2011, 06:15 PM
I'll never be happy with my appearance. I think I'm ugly.

♥
I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons.
And maybe we’ll never know most of them.
But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from,
we can still choose where we go from there.
We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.
PM|VM|EMAIL
Colyn Riley ♥
  (#1408 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 21st 2011, 03:26 AM
I love a boy who'll never love me back
I lie to my parents on a daily basis
I still cut
I'm still suicidal
I've tried to make myself puke a bunch of times but can't
I think i'm bi
I sometimes wonder if i really feel this bad, or if i just want attention.

"Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise"
-Les Miserables

"All these thoughts locked inside, now you're the the first to know"
-"It ends tonight" All-American Rejects

"You built up a world of magic, because you're real life is tragic"
-"Brick by Boring Brick" Paramore
  (#1409 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 22nd 2011, 12:54 AM
Sometimes I get so angry that I get scared I am going to hurt someone really bad so instead I hurt myself.
I lie to everyone around me and tell them I'm fine so they won't know that I am still planning to kill myself.
I often wish that I was still anorexic.

"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars."

"For those who don't care, for those who can't see, never give up, always thrive to be free."

Smile, you are beautiful www.operationbeautiful.com

Blessed Be!
Nicole AKA Nikki
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  (#1410 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 22nd 2011, 11:32 PM
I'm a 14 year old girl -almost 15- in love with a 12 year old.

And I'd do anything to hide it from him.
He was my CAMPER at the camp we met at.


I mean a lot to him and he's made it obvious many times. He's also so important to me. Everything about him makes me feel safe and loved and SO important. He's CRIED over me, FAUGHT for me. I can't imagine myself without him.

I disgust myself but no matter what I do, I still want him. I want to be with him in every single way that's humanly possible.

He's still just a kid, and I'll wait for him. No matter how long it takes.

But for now, I can't hide the fact that I love a mere child.
  (#1411 (permalink)) Old
Just Peachy. Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 23rd 2011, 12:06 AM
I can't look into a mirror. I disgust myself. Not going to eat.

  (#1412 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 23rd 2011, 02:10 PM
I didn't go outside with you that night because I was too afraid that we'd say things we would regret the next morning. I know I probably made the right decision, but a part of me is curious to know what would have actually happened if I had agreed to walk with you. Guess i'll never know.

⚓ A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. ⚓
  (#1413 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - July 24th 2011, 05:28 AM
No matter what I say, I miss you. No matter how much I deny it, I still care about you. No matter that I'm never going to talk to you again, some of my best memories are with you. You'll never know it, and no one ever will, sometimes I pull out pictures from that box and I cry all night. Sometimes I'll pull out that scarf and smell it and remember that's the perfume you always wore, and remember that time you sprayed it all over me and it drenched the scarf. I'll never say it's true, but I might have a picture of you stuffed in the front of my diary and whenever I'm feeling shitty I look at it, just to remind myself that if I can survive the pain I felt then, I can survive anything.

Your darling little daughter still cuts herself. Your darling little daughter throws up what she eats. Your darling little daughter sometimes wants to die. Your darling little daughter will fantasize about kissing girls, not boys. Your darling little daughter doesn't agree with you on anything. Your darling little daughter hates you.

I never gave you a chance. I didn't treat you fair. I never have hated you, I don't know why I said I did. I don't know why I didn't hate myself when you started to cry because of me. I don't hate you. I'll never tell anyone this, you will never know this, but Camisha, I don't hate you.
  (#1414 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 5th 2011, 04:48 PM
DLS:

I don't know who I am, but I know WHAT I am. I know WHO I want to be, now I have to figure out the way to being that person.
I hate most people.
I wanted to kill myself over being tired of people not living up to my standards.
I'm extremely cocky, I want everyone to think just like me, because in my mind, I'm right.
I hate people that don't fit my standards....but I love everyone like family.


DLS:
I shouldn't have said any of that and now I'm shaking and scared. Great.


I love him.
  (#1415 (permalink)) Old
FairyPoppins Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 5th 2011, 09:12 PM
My boss is sexy in a real woman kind of way.

"You, and only you alone,
Can build a bridge across the stream..."

TeenHelper since 07/07/2005.
  (#1416 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 5th 2011, 10:33 PM
i'm in love with my best friend.
  (#1417 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 6th 2011, 01:14 AM
AFTER YOU SAID I LOVE YOU... I STOPPED BELIVING YOU ALL TOGETHER
I FREAKKED OUT!

"Life isn't about how popular you are... What girl or boy you are dating or who you know. Life is about always being true to who you are or what you believe in. Never let anyone convince you that their way is better than your way. In the end all we have is our hearts... and our minds. This is the reason why we sing... this is the reason why we cry... this is why we live."

ANDY SIXX
  (#1418 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 6th 2011, 02:19 AM
I feel like I'm never going to be happy.
I don't want to live past 25.
All I want to do is cry.
I want to be beautiful.
I want to be worth something...

I want to be a mother right now.... better yet, I want my angels back from Heaven... I want to be with them.
Last edited by Stargazed.; August 6th 2011 at 02:21 AM. Reason: Adding another "secret"
  (#1419 (permalink)) Old
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Outside, huh?
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 6th 2011, 02:30 AM
I feel like I should be ashamed to feel the way that I do. I feel like it's unnatural, but it feels so natural to me. And I don't think you even feel the same about me anymore. I really hope you do. Because I think I love you.




A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts
  (#1420 (permalink)) Old
bailatyvm Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 6th 2011, 02:30 AM
I know I'm broken.
But I don't have any desire to change it. :/

I wish I could starve myself. I want to cut again, but I know it won't help. I want to be loved. I want someone to care. I wish I wasn't always having to beg for help, and I wish someone would offer.

--
searching for myself...
and hugs. mostly hugs.
--
  (#1421 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 7th 2011, 07:57 PM
why do i still feel like this about her.....
  (#1422 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 7th 2011, 10:37 PM
Knowing that you've fucked her does put me off you a bit. You seem tainted now.

I'm sorry.

I just want to be single again. But I won't break up with you because I'm a fucking fool like that.

"You, and only you alone,
Can build a bridge across the stream..."

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  (#1423 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 8th 2011, 05:21 AM
Sometimes you legitimately scare me.
I don't trust you as much as I should at this point in our relationship.
  (#1424 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 9th 2011, 04:02 AM

I'm in love with a 23 year old.... and he doesn't even know it. i think about him night and day, and can't stop.
  (#1425 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 9th 2011, 06:25 AM
Schoolwork makes me want to go kick a baby. Just sayin.
Last edited by Sincerely Yours ♥; August 9th 2011 at 06:48 AM.
  (#1426 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 18th 2011, 08:08 AM
Sometimes; I feel like I don't know him at all. And that worries me. I'm hoping that one day, he'll feel comfortable enough with me to tell me about his life.... About his past, his fears, what he wants in the future...
Because I really don't want to start bugging him with questions about his past and get him upset/angry...
  (#1427 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 18th 2011, 12:10 PM
I don't know if this relationship will last once I'm at university. =/

"You, and only you alone,
Can build a bridge across the stream..."

TeenHelper since 07/07/2005.
  (#1428 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 20th 2011, 01:17 AM
... i don't want to love you anymore.

When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
  (#1429 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 20th 2011, 08:48 PM
I worry about money every day. I've been worrying about money for years now. I shouldn't have to at my age & my living conditions as a college student. I hate the economy. I wish my dad wasn't losing his job & I wish I could find another one. I need money.
  (#1430 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 20th 2011, 10:25 PM
I just wish someone would rescue me, I can't do this on my own.

"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars."

"For those who don't care, for those who can't see, never give up, always thrive to be free."

Smile, you are beautiful www.operationbeautiful.com

Blessed Be!
Nicole AKA Nikki
Artist, Poet, and Future Social Worker
  (#1431 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 23rd 2011, 05:26 PM
You won't admit it to me, but I know you missed me. She showed me those texts you sent.

⚓ A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. ⚓
  (#1432 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 24th 2011, 10:56 PM
When I let you go, I lost everything that mattered. Since you left it has only been getting harder and harder for me to smile... I miss you so much.
  (#1433 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 29th 2011, 09:30 PM
I'm sick and tired of you making assumptions about why I act a certain way. Did you ever think that I want want to be useful and stop being a stupid waste of space? Did you ever think that I want to be able to go places and not panic? Of course you didn't.


Go back a little to leap further.
John Clarke
  (#1434 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 29th 2011, 10:20 PM
I should of kept you my dirty lil secret instead of making you my love... at least then I wouldn't have a broken heart...
  (#1435 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 29th 2011, 10:45 PM
Driving all the way out to Jake's house with you, and then partying while on Prozac? This won't end well.. but I honestly don't even care.

And here you are living, despite it all.
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Stargazed. Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 30th 2011, 12:38 AM
Taking advantage of me while I was drinking was not a good idea. We had sex. Now I'm regretting that.

You keep saying you understand but you don't. I might be gay. But you don't care. You just want me. What if I want a girl? You won't understand then.

YOU'LL ALWAYS BE OBSESSED WITH ME AND IT'S SICKENING.
  (#1437 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 30th 2011, 12:58 AM
I wish I could forget you


No one gets left behind, another fallen soul
No one gets left behind, another broken home
No one gets left behind, we stand and fight together


RestInParadiseDotty,Connor,AndJimmy<3
  (#1438 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - August 30th 2011, 02:17 AM
You always say you're a horrible boyfriend. I hate the fact that I agree with you. Please don't give up. Prove this relationship means something to you.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - September 1st 2011, 05:10 PM
Sunday is your last chance. Make it count.

⚓ A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor. ⚓
  (#1440 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - September 2nd 2011, 01:11 AM
I'm 14. Some of my friends make fun of me because I haven't yet had my first kiss. But it doesn't bother me.

I consider myself lucky.

I can still imagine what a kiss is like and when I'm ready for it, I can have my first on the swings of my elementary school. I want it to feel innocent and pure, just like we all were when played on the swings. ♥
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