Dirty Little Secrets.

[Slade]

I'm noticing that the line between greiving the eventual loss of my grandmother and the relief that she's finally out of my life, is smudging and its creating a chaotic mess.

[Bibliophile]

I'm scared about tomorrow. I've been collecting pills again.

[Tiny_93]

After everything I've said on the forums about not self harming, and wanting to make this life work, can I really do it? I'm starting to have second thoughts, and urges... it feels like its taking over

[Tegan]

I've never been triggered by seeing stuff, and I wasn't last night, but the first thing that went through my head was "fucking hell I want to hold you right now and kiss it better and try and get you to understand just how much you mean to me" but as usual I don't think she got just how important she is. I'd give her my life tomorrow if she asked for it. I wish she could see her beauty through my eyes.
I told her she'd never see mine. I wish that was possible. In a way I want her to see them... just to know her reaction? But at the same time I'm so scared she'll freak or leave me or I'll hurt her. I don't know. Maybe not seeing them is easier?
I really don't know
Someone with the answers please?

[ohsnap!]

i think i was the most perverted little kid ever. i haven't changed.
i resent the few friends i have for not being smart enough, but i prefer feeling superior.
i honestly wish something terrible would happen to my grandmother so she would be out my life and home forever. i hater her so much that don't feel bad for wanted her gone either.

[a_soldier_of_orange]

Sometimes I get worried that someone, somewhere is reading my mind

[Bibliophile]

I wish she knew nothing is ever going to be enough for me to leave her. Ever. I wish she knew that I won't freak out of leave her over cuts and scars, that would make me a hypocrite. I wish she knew she can't hide forever. I wish she knew how much I love her.
I'm so freaking scared of tonight and pills and plans. And the new pills making me fat. Eugh.

[Prozac]

I dont believe that I need to stop my own self harm, but I know it's getting out of control.

[Tegan]

I'm sorry for telling you the truth.
I'll show you them?

[MadPoet]

I'll be fat and ugly and unwanted for the rest of my life.
Sometimes I wish I had an eating disorder just so I could be thin.

[Crescendo]

I don't know why, but right now i wish i was about to die.

[Bibliophile]

I have pills and a blade in my school bag. I'm so unstable.
I want to see them.

[losing touch.]

i want to trust you.. but i don't know if i can.

[Tegan]

The Truth...?

I haven't cried like that in a year and eleven days... Crying so hard it hurts and I want to rip open my rib cage just to let myself breathe. Like my lips are bleeding from biting them so hard and I can't control myself.
I'm so glad you didn't hear the worst of it.
And I'm so sorry you heard a bit of it.
I loved you more than I ever loved him and when he died I wanted to fall asleep on that beach and never let myself wake up.
I refuse to do it again, you know that.
It hurt once, it'll kill me if I have to do it again.
I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. I love you.

[Naomi.]

I don't want to do this any more.
I'm not that strong.
I'm too scared of growing up.
It's pathetic, I know.
Let me go? </3

[ayearfromnow.]

My first true love, was online.














































:O

[Paul.]

ditto. first and only so far.

[~Jess~]

When i cut i hold the blade to my wrist and push down, then i chicken out... coward

I feel like im not attractive, i dont think im really ugly i think im just not good enough to be with anyone, not even just for my personality.

Although sometimes i want to kill myself i wont because im too considerate for other people and deep down somewhere in me i would regret trying.

I know most of my friends don't really like me, im about 99% sure they make fun of be worse behind my back then they do in reality

[Crescendo]

I feel so dirty right now due to flashbacks that I am having urges to kill myself.
The flashbacks are that bad.

[Tiny_93]

I wish I could be more honest with myself.
I hate living a lie - I want it to end!

[*Rainbow*Rider*]

You asked me how I knew all the right things to say you help you get over him. Its because I was having an on and off affair with him over the years you where together, I was in love with him too, and he broke my heart too.
I'll never tell you.
But by helping you get over him, I feel somehow, less guilty.

[Bibliophile]

I never thought it would come to this.
I still want to self destruct 12 stitches, 8 butterfly strips and 4 dressings later.

[sw33t&sourcandii]

Everytime that i see you, my heart starts to beat faster.
my palms begin to sweat
and i feel as though my heart will come up from inside my body.
i get nervous, and i feel as if i have to pee.
i get dizzy and only think about your lips.

[diamondprincess]

i wish i would have told my mom that my stepdad was raping me years ago so that it wouldnt have continued and so that i would have had proof so that she would actually believe me now.

[Insignificant]

1. I worry that all my friends are only pretending to like me.

2. I want to be a vet, but know I'll never get into uni.

3. I can't cope anymore.

4. I blame myself for Jet's death, and for his sire Isaac being depressed, (fave horses at riding school where I work).

5. I'm too afraid that I'll be found and recusitated, to attempt suicide.

[victoria-louise]

i still think about you everyday even though i try not to.
i still suck my thumb..... constantly... and i'm 16!

[*Rainbow*Rider*]

I don't feel that guilty.

[emma01]

-I prefer people who I talk to online, I hate my friend group most of the time, but I always seem to get on, and feel closer to online friends. Which is kind of sad.
-This is mean, i know...but I love it when bad things happen to this girl in my friend group. I enjoyed it when no one liked her and enjoyed it when she got conjunctivitis and couldn't see her other friends. I feel that way because of all the crap she has put me through, and I reckon she feels the same way about me.

[Grasshopper]

Some days I feel like she's right and I did make it up :.(

[MegaMadness]

I basically hate or dislike all my friends in my group from last year. I pretended to care when I never really did and pretended to like them. At times it was kind of obvious, but then they'd forget about it. They were just so annoying, bitchy and stupid. I only hung out with them cause a few of them were in the same class as me. There going to be in for a shock when we go back to school and I sit with another group with one of my real bestfriends. And I'll enjoy every second of it. And oh and I'm not going to your party, I lied and said I was busy but I'm not I just don't like you that much or anyone you've invited so I think it will be boring and I don't want to go cause I'd rather be doing other things.

[Bibliophile]

I like my new friends and how they're influencing me. I know she wouldn't like them and what they/we do, but I need it. I'm confused about this whole love thing. I don't know who is right for me and who is wrong for me and whether I really want this to change. If it changes too radically I'm scared that I'll do something stupid. These pills make me feel crazy and surreal.

[Maloo]

I wish I could make myself throw up. Then maybe I wouldn't look so disgusting..

[Paul.]

Not caring about my old friends is liberating, but only because now I don't have to fret about it not being reciprocated. This ship has set sail.

[Bibliophile]

I'm not celebrating my birthday because I don't deserve anything.

[FeistyMidget]

I'm scared as hell that, when my grandmother dies, I'll feel nothing.



I'm not a bad person. Am I?

[Naomi.]

-Instead of asking my friends to stop cutting/start eating...I'm asking them to stay out of hospital.
-Instead of people asking me to stop cutting/start eating...they're asking me to stay out of hospital.
-I'm scared.
-I had a dream about one of my friends committing suicide last night, I'm scared it might happen.
-Even though I can see all of my ribs, I still think I'm fat.

[Skeleton]

I just can't be bothered anymore.

[noise94]

Sometimes I want to die just to prove to everyone that I really was not needed. In the slightest.

[eventcrasher]

I am silly to say this but i just cant forget anything about my ex.. i rememeber the goods and the bads.. well my bad my ex is miles away... but still i miss my ex..

[Crescendo]

ithink me saying goodbye to this world would be a second chance for my loved ones.
in therapy i rate my suicidal urges on a 0-5 scale. i'm at a 5.5