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  (#721 (permalink)) Old
LlamaLlamaDuck Offline
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - October 29th 2009, 10:02 PM

I'm afraid to be happy.


Throw those curtains wide
One day like this a year would see me right


We are the rainbow
Or click here for some grovelling.
  (#722 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - October 31st 2009, 09:04 PM

I knew once I started drinking I wouldn't want to stop.
  (#723 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 1st 2009, 05:24 PM

I secretly hate couples who get to be together everyday or even a few times a week. I hate them more when they take it for granted. Sure, I'm happy for all of you, getting the chance to be happy like that. To not have to miss each other or not know how long it'll be til you get to see each other again. Bet that's awesome isn't it? But still... I have a deep, undeniable hate for you people. Yeh, I'm jealous... who cares.


-Let the Music Play-
"There's no way to explain why life is filled with so much pain. But do the flowers ever grow in the places it don't rain?"

"But the unfortunate truth is that, while being different from everyone else can be exciting at first, ultimately it can get a little lonely."

"The floor seemed wonderfully solid. It was comforting to know I had fallen and could fall no further."
  (#724 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 3rd 2009, 01:17 AM

I feel so alone. There isn't anybody left anymore. I force myself through each day, but I know this isn't living, this is just, waiting. I want to feel something else for once, feel something that doesn't make me hurt. Everything is just too hard now.


Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”


♀ + ♀ = ♥
♀ + ♂ = ♥
♂ + ♂ = ♥

[♥]
  (#725 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 3rd 2009, 01:58 AM

I'm the worst person I've ever met.
My best friend once told me that I'm the "best influence on the worst things to do".
She's right.

I can't find interest in anything anymore.
I realized at an early age that I want die before 40.
I'm easily disgusted by people.
Anyone I think I'm remotely in love with will easily be reduced to nothing because of one flaw...
One flaw that I will go out of my way to search for.


"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." -- Stephen Roberts

"And when you spread forth your hands, I will hide my eyes from you: yes, when you make many prayers, I will not hear: your hands are full of blood." Isaiah 1:15

You're Gonna Carry That Weight.
  (#726 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 3rd 2009, 03:07 AM

I have cut and I didnt even tell you. I have been suicidal for a few WEEKS on end and no one knows... I've even come close to attempting and i DONT CARE ANYMORE!.


"Others say there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just say Crud, there isn't... I'm stuck in this stupid revolving door..." -Me
PM me anytime you want to talk about anything.And I mean ANYTHING AT ALL!
Formerly achava_elah_18


Been in love since May 2008

Fellow SI,Autism-Spectrum,Depression,Anxiety,Musical,Trichotilloman ia Person. Basically, I'm ME!
  (#727 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 3rd 2009, 03:37 AM

There isn't one person who knows everything about me. If they did, I'd be alone.

But I always feel alone.


01 // 10 // 11

Baby stand tall. You can have it all.

Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..
  (#728 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 3rd 2009, 10:22 AM

I'm scared to be honest with her because I know that it'll be bad news.
  (#729 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 5th 2009, 12:18 AM

When i tell you, and get the courage, please don't be upset. I just need support, and knowing I'm there for you.. not for you to just leave me and give up on me. But i made a mistake.
  (#730 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 5th 2009, 01:13 AM

I'm giving you 57 days.
You change, or I will.


A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.
  (#731 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 5th 2009, 11:13 PM

I'm praying for these results to be negative.
  (#732 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 6th 2009, 09:29 PM

Im so fucking weak.
Tear me apart.
  (#733 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 6th 2009, 11:05 PM

I am angry and jealous that my best friend is in a good relationship because I love him and want him all to myself.

I have 2...yes 2 boyfriends. I've been with one for 3 years and the other for 6 months and I can't choose between the two.

I am holding on to my boyfriend of 3 years because I don't want him to get another girlfriend and I want to have his first child.

I had sex with my boyfriend's (of 6 months) 15 yr old brother before I knew they were brothers and my boyfriend and I got into a relationship. ( he lied to me about his age, we pretend nothing ever happened, and we hate each other now lol).

I am afraid I can't get pregnant.
  (#734 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 7th 2009, 12:13 AM

I can't give them up...



How can one love themselves, when they love absolutely nothing?
Do something that is interesting. If it is not interesting, find out why it is not interesting.
  (#735 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 7th 2009, 10:14 PM

I'm secretly wishing it was you.
  (#736 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 7th 2009, 10:17 PM

i cant be totaly honest with anyone person, only different parts with different people, and i feel bad that im not 100% honest with my gf..... it makes me......remember that im a piece of shit....


XANDER

am i in love? or am i being used?
  (#737 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 9th 2009, 08:26 PM

I lied to her for the first time ever today.
  (#738 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 9th 2009, 09:04 PM

i look soo happy and confident in the photos from saturday night. It makes me smile cos going to that party filled me with dread but I had an amazing time cos I let myself go for once in my life
i wish i could be that happy and confident all the time...I dont know whats stopping me
  (#739 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 10th 2009, 02:31 PM

Your voice will always be my favorite sound.
  (#740 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 11th 2009, 05:15 AM

my dirty little secrets are
1. i care about my best friend more than i care about my parents.
2. i never felt i was loved by my parents.
3. i hate myself.
  (#741 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 11th 2009, 06:50 PM

My nightmares are worse. I keep having flashbacks to 26th of January and the 28th when I returned to school. They hurt so much, the questions she asked, the fact that all the staff at school found out that I tried to kill myself.
  (#742 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 11th 2009, 07:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chriz View Post
my dirty little secrets are
1. i care about my best friend more than i care about my parents.
2. i never felt i was loved by my parents.
3. i hate myself.
i'm the same, my parents arent never understand or care about me....
i care more for my girl friend thoo, my best friends being a dick atm lol


XANDER

am i in love? or am i being used?
  (#743 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 11th 2009, 08:05 PM

If it weren't for you I'd be having a crazy time on saturday night.
But I'm coming home. I promise.
I love you x


You are the one, the one who lies next to me,
Whispers "hello, I missed you quite terribly"


  (#744 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 12th 2009, 04:36 AM

I wish my mom got killed tomorrow.
I wish I wasn't so scared to trust.

Last edited by Nicole1994; November 12th 2009 at 04:37 AM. Reason: Had to add
  (#745 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 12th 2009, 09:18 PM

A Dirty Little Secrets and Things You Wish You Could Say to Their Face mashup:

1) I'm going to fall in love with you now. Don't worry; you won't even notice.

I pray, however, that I can act assertively around you. I don't need you to like me but if you respect me by the end of the year we'll be in good standing.

2) I feel like I've lost the ability to think or never had it. I've never been 'myself', at least not a self I can be proud of or lay claim to with dignity.

3) I care about you.

4) This is really FUCKING BORING.

5) I'd like to be strong enough to commit suicide. (On principle; I don't actually want to do it now).


"He not busy being born is busy dying."
  (#746 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 12th 2009, 09:49 PM

I trust no-one.

I wish I could.


Just kiss me.

  (#747 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 14th 2009, 07:10 PM

I would probably date anyone just to have the feeling of being loved back...

...I hurtmyself last night.
  (#748 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 14th 2009, 07:23 PM

I've never been so close...I need to be kept safe.
  (#749 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 14th 2009, 08:20 PM

i went out with you to get over him,, funny thing is,, i fell in love with you within the process

i still wish i was with you even though I was the one of broke you

i pretend to think you care just to feel loved

the first person to tell me i was beautiful was some one i didnt know

i had my first kiss with the person i fell in love with after an hour of meeting him
  (#750 (permalink)) Old
I'm Not Who You Think I Am
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 15th 2009, 01:19 AM

Im scared of being alone. Ive had him for so long, what will I do with out him??

Im scared that one day your'll truely see me for who I am and decide that I'm not worth it, I know I'm not the easiest person to be friends with and you try harder then anyone I know does.


[x] Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You wont try for me, not now,
Though I'd die to know you love me,

I'm all alone,

Isn't something missing?
Isnt someone missing me [x]

Baby, i want you to be my superman.
  (#751 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 15th 2009, 02:52 AM

I think I should break up with him. But I can't hurt him again, I couldn't live with that guilt. Plus things are better all round if I stay with him. The only bad thing is that I don't know what I feel about him anymore and feel gross when he tries it on with me. It's a small price to pay to not hurt him, not piss off my friends, and have someone there for me who loves me.
I just wish I could stop thinking about his friend...
  (#752 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 15th 2009, 03:21 AM

i haven't been using any protection.


im terrified now.


what kind of labyrinth is this
that sends you laughing
without smiling?
age brings a sad little surprise
and in case you didn't
realize
while you were calculating tears,
my head
expired.
-of montreal
  (#753 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 15th 2009, 03:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Natsumi View Post
I'm afraid to be happy.
I am too...

I yearn to be alone, and yet I long for people to love me for who I am... but I love being alone... (if that makes any sense)

I lied to my parents about being depressed... I said that I was better, when I'm really getting worse within each day...

Yesterday was the best day that I've had for a loooong time....

I can't speak up to get help...
  (#754 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 18th 2009, 10:43 PM

I've lost it and it ain't coming back.


-Let the Music Play-
"There's no way to explain why life is filled with so much pain. But do the flowers ever grow in the places it don't rain?"

"But the unfortunate truth is that, while being different from everyone else can be exciting at first, ultimately it can get a little lonely."

"The floor seemed wonderfully solid. It was comforting to know I had fallen and could fall no further."
  (#755 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 19th 2009, 10:45 PM

I so meant to fool you all. I wanted you all to think I was worth it- worth befriending, worth talking to, worth welcoming. Evidently not.
--
I am fucking going to St. Andrews, and I don't care what anyone- including the admissions people- says or thinks about it. I will go somewhere else first and then re-apply if necessary. I'm going.


"He not busy being born is busy dying."
  (#756 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 21st 2009, 10:48 PM

i'm slowly fading out....


When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
  (#757 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 22nd 2009, 04:45 PM

I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing anymore.
  (#758 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 22nd 2009, 08:05 PM

I am afraid to be by myself as my thoughts make me paranoid and scare me.
i fear what will happen if i don't receive help soon.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 23rd 2009, 04:04 AM

This phase has never gone on for so long.
It's starting to scare me.


A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.
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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. - November 23rd 2009, 04:45 AM

bleh
i kissed someone else. it was just one kiss. it meant nothing i'm sorry i never told you, i was scared to lose you, i was scared to hurt you, your my world.it was almost 2 years ago. i'll never forgive myself. i'm sorry.


I make mistakes, that's what I do.
I speak without thinking,
Act without knowing,
I drink so much I can barely walk,
I'm a fantastic lover though,
& amazing friend.
God knows I mean well.
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