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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
October 8th 2009, 04:29 PM
sometimes i wish my parents would get divorced so that i could just live with my dad and get away from my mum
every day i find myself wondering what it would be like if i just ended it all for me
quite often i worry about my weight, eating habits and anorexia
i hate a group i'm a part of but at the same time i dont want to quit because i know i'm a part of it
i nearly went out with this guy who i knew had a girlfriend
i just found out that my ex raped his cousin *feels sick and gets a lump in throat at the thought of it*
"it's okay to be messed up, 'cause there's five guys who are just as messed up as you." - Gerard Way
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
October 10th 2009, 05:05 AM
I sometimes wish I would die and not be around here.
I write poems, look in self expression for them.
Msg me for my msn/aim.
"I can't say that I was or am really so different from everyone else. I have 10 toes, 8 fingers, 2 thumbs. My hair just makes me look cooler! I was always happy with my hair color and how people treated me because of it. It was really just my not being able to get a tan that was hard for me. My red hair just makes me feel even more like an individual."- Anonymous
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
October 10th 2009, 05:09 AM
I just want to yell at my mom sometimes. She's always either constantly pissed off and bitching about SOMETHING or she's really hyper-ish and doesnt know when to shut up. Stop joking about my suicide attempt, YOU'RE NOT FUNNY.
Yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers
But everything that lives is born to die
And so I say to you that nothing really matters
And all you do is stand and cry.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
October 11th 2009, 07:18 PM
It's been 8 months since i last cut, but im still feeling just as bad, but i still think my parents would not care how i feel, so im still continuing to struggle on.
I have sex with random boys, just because i want to feel loved.
Lauren
"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."
"But in the ruins there is still a canvas. There is still beauty in your brokenness. The faded scars show healing reminding me that even though I’ve been in dark places, I’ve survived and learned and become stronger".
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
October 13th 2009, 10:31 AM
I can't stop masturbating
It's cold comfort
To the ones without it
To know how they struggled
How they suffered about it
If their lives were exotic and strange
They would likely have gladly exchanged them
For something a little more plain
Maybe something a little more sane
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
October 13th 2009, 11:29 AM
I regret every bad thought, every time I got mad at him but most of all I regret not calling him when he cared. He'll never know that now.
Sometimes in class I just imagine what it would be like if certain people found out I self-harmed
I should feel horrible lying to her for more than a year, possibly two. I don't.
"We all have battle scars, Finn. Suck it up and build a brace for yours."
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
October 19th 2009, 02:55 AM
I wish you wouldn't go...
How can one love themselves, when they love absolutely nothing?
Do something that is interesting. If it is not interesting, find out why it is not interesting.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
October 19th 2009, 07:34 AM
As much as i want to be there for you i cant, hell i cant even help my own pathetic self.
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
October 21st 2009, 02:33 AM
Today, I allowed myself to fall madly in love with him for a moment.
It felt Awesome... and Terrifying.
I'm too scared to let that be a constant feeling.
I don't want to get my heart's hopes up just to have it broken again.
-Let the Music Play-
"There's no way to explain why life is filled with so much pain. But do the flowers ever grow in the places it don't rain?"
"But the unfortunate truth is that, while being different from everyone else can be exciting at first, ultimately it can get a little lonely."
"The floor seemed wonderfully solid. It was comforting to know I had fallen and could fall no further."
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
October 21st 2009, 05:15 AM
I'm starting to feel like I have to choose between not being miserable, or my grades.
Being miserable makes me tired. Makes me hate being alive. Makes me wish I was dead, I can't work when I'm miserable. And doing this shit makes me miserable.
I'm not even that happy when I'm not completely miserable... Either way I lose.
~Where death is I am not, where I am death is not, so we never meet~
I'd rather die terrified
than live forever.
We will all die so gloriously, that having ever lived will seem like folly.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
October 22nd 2009, 10:21 AM
Ive made my plans.
&& Im scared of it not working.
Im scared of people finding me still alive. Im scared of being put into hospital. Im scared of losing control. Im scared that I will never be normal. Im scared of losing you. Im scared of being forced into things I dont want. Im so scared of THEM finding me. Im so scared of living that its more then I can bear.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
October 24th 2009, 07:23 PM
i feel like keeping myself miserable will always keep me from ever being like them- the girls that i see at school, laughing with their friends and joking around and being so shallow and not seeing the realities in life. if i keep my misery fresh, i'll never be like them. i guess then i'll never be happy.
I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Want to hold on, and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change?
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me, but I'm still here
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
October 27th 2009, 08:28 PM
I don't want to believe you did that. How could someone do something like that?
I trusted you...too much. I fell for it and now because of this I don't know how to trust again. How do you trust people when you find out that someone you talked to daily isn't that person?
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
October 29th 2009, 08:21 AM
I hurt. So much. I can't stand people using me as a doormat anymore. I'd rather be completely alone than be everyones back up, the person everyone dumps everything on. I'm sick of just getting thrown away when I'm not needed anymore. I can't take it. I love helping people, but I can't take me being there for everyone, me giving everything I can to help, and no one being there for me, everyone always taking. I wish I could disappear, and see if anyone would notice. Or care.
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
October 29th 2009, 10:56 AM
i was afraid he would fall out of love with me when he realized how much of a loser i am and dump me. i made him hate me so i wouldn't have to deal with the pain of having to face the knowledge that i was unacceptable in his eyes and now that i got what i wanted i have to face the pain of how i threw away the love of my life. my dirty little secret is that i miss him so much. but to the world i'm completely okay. and so i shall stay that way stuck in lies, the pain getting worse with each day.