Post the last thing to make you LOL. (Part 2)

[Coffee.]

My cousin singing into a fun noodle.

[Catharsis.]

[Catharsis.]

These killed me.

Me, mom and dad and my brother were watching Up last night, my mom asked to pause it so she could go get some coffee. So, my dad told me a joke... "This lady was in a car accident, lost her toe. They carried her to the hospital and thank God someone found her toe. Guess who found it? The tow truck." Hahah, I started laughing so hard I was in tears.

[Storyteller.]

I'm just going to leave this here.

[Spellbound]

[mindflower]

My friend shoved 54 Hot Tamales into his mouth at once. Omygod. Priceless. He cried.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

[Obliviate]

[Chuuya]

[Everglow.]

I have two neighbours who constantly argue and shout at each other and one of them has just put a bench across the other ones front door while he was inside
I'm laughing so much

[Koharuchan]

[Koharuchan]

[Catharsis.]

[Chuuya]

[Catharsis.]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[EmisaurusRex]

[MsNobleEleanor]

At work I asked my co-worker a question:

So I have no furniture other than what is there; bed, desk, chair- what is something that you can put together but take apart without hassel?

A chair. You can fold it up and take it with you, easy to move around with.

A chair?

That is all I can think of...

Right! and I looked confused as hell as to why she said, "chair"

So here it is, this is what I shall get...





I shall get more than one, since I have no dresser- I can easily drape my clothes over this (I have a clothes rack thing). I shall put my shoes on it, and store boxes under the chair. I think I should collect them, all colours, shapes and sizes!

Yay for me!

[mindflower]

C: "If we ever decide to have sexy fun, we're doing it in Narnia"
Me: "But Narnia is rated PG..."
C: "Shit.... I was hoping I'd get to hear you use your bad british accent. Could we just kick out all of the Narnians?"
Me: "Nope... PG. Neverland is still a british magical world, how's that?"
C: "You do realize Peter Pan is also probably PG.... right?"
Me: "...Hogwarts? PG13 "
C: "I can work with magic "

I don't know why. But this whole conversation was just so odd... I died

[Catharsis.]

Tumblr after hours.



>here come the knight bloggers

[Storyteller.]

(In response to the fact that Instagram introduced a new video feature.)

Vine: Hey Instagram are you okay?
Instagram: Yeah, I'm vine.
Vine: You're what?
Instagram: I said I'm fine.

I don't know why I find that so funny.

[Catharsis.]

This gif saved the universe.

[PSY]

I just woke up from a TeenHelp nightmare. I dreamed that Rob was taking staff members who applied for internal positions and feeding them to the lions. Literally. He had a backyard filled with lions, which I accidentally discovered when I noticed staff members who were going into the "application booth" suspiciously never returned to the staff member party that was being thrown at Rob's house. As I scrambled to get away from the lions (I somehow had magical jumping abilities and was barely able to stay out of their reach), I thought, "There's got to be a better way to get meat for your lions, Rob!" I woke up, and after realizing it was just a dream, I started laughing.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

Originally Posted by PSY

I just woke up from a TeenHelp nightmare. I dreamed that Rob was taking staff members who applied for internal positions and feeding them to the lions. Literally. He had a backyard filled with lions, which I accidentally discovered when I noticed staff members who were going into the "application booth" suspiciously never returned to the staff member party that was being thrown at Rob's house. As I scrambled to get away from the lions (I somehow had magical jumping abilities and was barely able to stay out of their reach), I thought, "There's got to be a better way to get meat for your lions, Rob!" I woke up, and after realizing it was just a dream, I started laughing.

OH MY GOD I'M DYING.

[Lamia]

Just saw this.

[Catharsis.]

This article.

A selection of calls made by Rotherham residents to the 101 and 999 numbers during the past 12 months, as logged by the callhandler:

Caller is disliked by his neighbour because he used to jump up and down on his trampoline in a dress.

Caller states that her daughter, 11 years, is 'attacking her'. Questioned further, it turns out her daughter is being a naughty girl and won't go to bed.

Confused caller says she does not seem to be able to get films with her Sky TV card. Advised she would need to speak to Sky.

There is a couple with a big brown dog that is running around. It has not been aggressive towards anyone but caller is concerned as to the size of the dog. He has spoken to the couple about the dog but they have not done anything.

Caller says some children who live round the corner keep coming to her house to play with her daughter. She says that one of them has pooed in her daughter's playhouse. This child is three years old but caller is irate because they should know better.

Caller reporting he has two females, possibly from housing, knocking on his door and he doesn't want to answer it so is asking for police to attend. He states that he is on water tablets so doesn't want to talk to them.

Caller advising that he has found some driving documents that he thought he had previously lost and was wanting to let us know.

Caller wanting to report some youths being a nuisance. They have been coming on the street Christmas carolling but they can't sing and it seems like they are just trying to get some money.

Caller very distressed. The neighbours next door are making love very loudly with the windows open. This has been going on for some time.

Caller reporting four or five youths aged five to 11 on the street and they have thrown a stone at her window and smashed it. On inspection of said window it transpires there is no actual damage, just a mud mark which has wiped off.

Caller was in Newcastle for the weekend and woke up yesterday in his hotel to find his trousers were missing.

Caller reporting her daughter, 12 years, has been to the woods with four friends. They have all crossed a stream, on a log. The log has slipped from under her and she has fallen into the stream. This has ruined her new trainers. She asked them for help to get out of the stream and they stood there and laughed. Caller states that her daughter has then had to walk home with wet feet.

[Chuuya]

I volunteer at the nursing home on Fridays (and sometimes Wednesdays) and they are soooo funny.

Lady: Can you get me some juice sweetheart?
Me: Yeah of course *brings her a cup of juice*
Lady: Do you want a sip sweetheart?
Me: Nah, I'm good, thank you though!
Lady: Oh you're underage.
Me:

*sitting outside with one of the guys*
*another resident walks up*
Him: I see you've gotten yourself a hooker.

I died.

[EmisaurusRex]

[Catharsis.]

It's because of these sort of things that the term "MURICA" caught on.

[Koharuchan]

I don't know why, it just made me laugh so hard.

[Catharsis.]

Some of these are hysterical.

[EmisaurusRex]

[Obliviate]

[Astrophile.]

Caption: so i found these in my friend’s freezer while having a sleepover and became extremely scared. when i went to confront her about it she looked me dead in the eye and whispered,

“ice ice baby”


Ohhhh, Tumblr.

[Chuuya]

I can't breathe.

[Agony]

http://ifunny.mobi/i/yoUMOjYB1

[Agony]

Ok so I'm in group chat and M is talking about her bday party.

K: you should invite Taco!!
M: eh, I don't know
Me: do I even wanna know who taco is?
M: hmm
Me: first letter of his name?
M: H
Me: Hayden.
M: correct.
Me: why is he called taco? Is it because he is spicy on the inside?
M: omg lol no
Me: Is it because he is delicious?
M: lol
K: wow ash, lol
Me: is it because he is HARD on the outside and WARM on the inside?
M: ...
Me: OMG I just realized how dirty that sounded, I didn't mean for it to come out like that
K: omg rofl
M: hahaha, you are so dirty minded

This is how I accidentally make a clean convo dirty lol

[Obliviate]

omfg