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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"
This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.
It's ridiculously hot in here.
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
Well, puppy did not work out. This is the second one. The first I was supposed to get, after they we had everything figured out for me to get her, they decided to keep her. This one, they said they'd be here by 3, I text them to see if they're close as I'd head to where we planned to meet, they then, after me waiting for 3 to come around for hours, decide to tell me they haven't left yet (and they're about 1 1/2 hours away), to meet. The times won't work out for me to get him now. Sigh, apparently I never get a puppy. There aren't a lot of options around here either, so now my wait and search continues.....and continues.
The weather is bad.. mom is annoyed. Dad is irritated. I am ill. The neighbours music system is blaring. My cousin annoyed me. And in all this I am expected to study.!!
Last edited by Adam the Fish; May 5th 2014 at 09:22 AM.
Reason: Moderating Error
The weather is bad.. mom is annoyed. Dad is irritated. I am ill. The neighbours music system is blaring. My cousin annoyed me. And in all this I am expected to study.!!
I just fucking love how, no matter what I say, you still could give a shit less about me not getting any sleep. It's 4 in the morning. What the FUCK are you doing in my room doing laundry at 4 in.the morning? I fucking told you I don't sleep and you come in my room in the middle of the goddamn night to do laundry?! You are so full of shit. My room is off limits if I'm not awake. How about that? Is that gonna fucking keep you out?!
You still fucking love her and I'm an idiot but its okay, you know, because she's the first love okay? But seriously.
Walk HER to her classes.
Walk HER to her car.
Say hi to HER first.
Sit by HER during band.
Text HER first, when I'm the one constantly trying to make conversation.
I'm a third wheel in my own damn relationship with you.
And she. likes. girls.
You didn't tell me you were in those shows,
you barely notice me walking by,
you hardly text me at all and when you do I'm asleep,
You talk about HER with ME, you seem interested in all of HER crap.
You still love her, nothing has changed. You want her over me and I'm the second choice. I was this back-up plan that seemed like a good idea at the time and now you're stuck and you probably want out just like Patrick did and you're gonna leave me I don't think I can survive that again, I don't think I can watch you leave because I wasn't enough. It still hurts so much, every look you give her, every word, everything you do to try and keep her in your life when... when you wouldn't even care if I stayed in it....
I'm such an idiot, and I'm going to get hurt again.
I try so hard to be perfect for you... I'll stop eating, I'll dress better, I'll leave you alone if you're with your friends, you know, I won't be annoying... I already keep half of my depression problems a secret with you because you... you don't want that...
Why don't you look at me or talk with me like you did and still kinda do with her..... What does she have (besides everything) that I don't.......
Why did you like disappear? Why didn't you tell me you were leaving, or tell anyone where you were going, or why? And why can't you answer the billion texts and calls and emails? Everyone's so worried... where the heck are you? And why? And how long did you mean when you told her you would be "out for a while?" and why didn't you tell me too? Did you think I wouldn't worry?
Be yourself, because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
Re: Complaint of the day -
May 10th 2014, 03:54 AM
You just played weather instead of my band and guard. *explodes*
1/7/12 - Live Help Operator | 1/25/14 - HelpLINK Mentor | 6/8/14 - Depression and Suicide Forum Moderator | 6/8/14 - Addictive Behaviors Forum Moderator | 1/11/14 - Videos Team Member | 4/11/15 - Senior Live Help Operator
“I will be generous with my love today. I will sprinkle compliments and uplifting words everywhere I go. I will do this knowing that my words are like seeds and when they fall on fertile soil, a reflection of those seeds will grow into something greater.”
Re: Complaint of the day -
May 10th 2014, 01:38 PM
I have no motivation today unless that is to just sit here. Zip, zilch, zero. Nada.
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
Re: Complaint of the day -
May 10th 2014, 09:34 PM
I have a lot to do for school and it sucks so much I can't believe I let it get this bad and here I am wasting time on TH or crying or wanting to die like I don't deserve.... to waste time...
I deserve to waste away.
Again, I couldn't satisfy my boyfriend and I'm so sick of it. I'm SO sICK of it.
FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK PAT GET OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND.
MAYBE IF YOU HADN'T EMOTIONALLY SCARRED ME AND USED ME LIKE THAT I WOULD BE ABLE TO YOU KNOW BE HAPPY NOW BUT YOU DON'T CARE I'M A FART IN THE WIND TO YOU AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A SHIT TIME AT PROM YOU FUCKED UP.
GOD WHY AM I EVEN YELLING AT HIM THROUGH THIS WHY AM I UPSET I FUCKED THIS UP FOR MYSELF I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE GODDAMNIT JUST DIE TAYLOR FUCK....
GOD.........
i want to cut..
I want Matthew to be here... i wanna tell him that he's the reason i'm breathing right now......... i want him to come kiss the insides of my legs and blow bubbles and eat junk food with me and never ever leave, we can waste away just like that intertwined together like roots....
Re: Complaint of the day -
May 11th 2014, 01:49 AM
This day is never going to freaking end. My head hurts and I feel like complete crap. I hate allergies and I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I hate this. I don't have the strength to fight the stupid urges, I just want them to go away before I give in.
Re: Complaint of the day -
May 13th 2014, 01:41 AM
I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't fucking know what I'm doing GODDAMNIT I NEED FUCKING HELP WHO AM I WHAT AM I WHY AM I ALIVE I WANT TO DISAPPEAR.
My grades are so shit I don't even know why I'm bothering, and my family, and my friends, everything that I could potentially have I am fucking up like you wouldn't believe, I can barely deal with a job here on TeenHelp...
I want this drug dealing thing to work out. I want drugs. I want to kill this pain. And I want to cut. All over my body, every single inch of me, so I can feel beautiful. Nothing sounds more exciting than writing my suicide notes and nothing sounds sweeter than a hospital bed. I want a goodbye kiss from Matthew and I want to sleep forever.
I WANT The End.
Re: Complaint of the day -
May 13th 2014, 03:38 AM
It fucking snowed yesterday and today.. I am having drama with friends, and the advice that i've gotten is what i know is true but dont want to admit it. And this week already feels like its been going on forever.
From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
Re: Complaint of the day -
May 13th 2014, 06:40 PM
My head hurts.
My life is too complicated.
He's hurt me and now I'm again broken.
I'm still sick.
Life isn't getting better...
Waiting is a sign of true love and patience,anyone can say "I love you" But not everyone can wait and prove it's true.
Some say it's painful to wait for someone,Some say it's painful to forget someone,But the worst pain comes when you don't know whether to wait or forget.
Re: Complaint of the day -
May 14th 2014, 03:09 AM
My bones hurt; especially my back and neck. They're killing me and the heat isn't helping and its making me restless.
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
Re: Complaint of the day -
May 14th 2014, 09:25 AM
I don't know what to do with myself. I have things I want to do each day but it is hard for me to just do them.
"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."