Triggering: Rough week.

[Dawn.]

This past week or so has been really stressful for me in so many different ways. I haven't experienced such a rollercoaster of emotions in a very long time - if at all. It seems like everything has happened this week.

My Grandmother passed away earlier on in the week and I was able to say goodbye a couple of days beforehand. She was the last grandparent I had and like a lot of us, was someone who I thought would live forever. I don't know how I'm feeling. I feel anxious, upset, grief and depressed. There are some moments during the day whereby I'm ok because of the good things that have happened, but when I'm not keeping busy, that's when it hits me.

I feel so guilty for feeling happy about the good things and I often question why I'm feeling the way I am during this period in my life. But these other good things that have happened have caused me so much stress before my Grandmother passed and to know that it has ended in a positive result is such a relief.

I just don't know what to do or how to feel right now.

[Everglow.]

I'm really sorry to hear about your grandmother's passing this week. Losing someone like a grandparent is always hard, but given that you've had other stress happening it must be a really difficult thing to deal with. I know the feeling of thinking someone will live forever. It's always really hard to cope with the realisation that this isn't the case.

I think it's important to let yourself smile and feel happy at times. Death is a really sad thing, but life has this way of just happening anyway. When I lost my nan a few years ago, I had moments like you where I felt such a mixture of sad emotions and it would hit me out of nowhere, but during other times I could almost imagine it hadn't just happened because I was laughing and making jokes like normal. As humans we have all these emotions and sometimes they don't compliment each other. Sometimes we're happy and sad at the same time, but feeling happy doesn't make your sadness any less real, just as being sad shouldn't make your happiness any less real. I'm sure your grandmother would want for you to feel happy at a positive outcome rather than denying yourself that feeling in order to feel sad. Feeling happy about something doesn't mean you don't miss her and mourn her, and it doesn't mean you aren't in pain at losing her. You are allowed to feel both things, and not feel guilty about it.

I hope you have a network of support around you right now. Try not to be alone. If you're struggling, reach out to the people who knew her like you did and lean on them. But please don't ever feel like you need to not feel happy or relieved about positive things right now.

If you ever want to talk, message me any time. I hope you're holding up okay.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello,

I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with all of this right now and hope that you will be okay soon. Also I'm truly sorry for your loss, when we have lost someone it can take a while to be okay with this and feel like ourselves again. Take as much time as you need. Would you be able to try talking with someone in you're family about the loss. Sometimes when talking about this with other family members we get some of our feelings out of us and they are feeling the same way too, so it helps. Try finding something to help get your mind off all of this that is happening, going for a walk around your house or reading a book for a while so putting on a funny movie or TV show or listening to music or something else that you enjoy doing and hopefully it can help you. I hope that soon you will be okay, hugs to help.

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother passing away, and it seems to be a bigger deal when it's the last surviving grandparent. I am in the same situation, I only have one surviving grandparent now as of last year; and like you, I want to believe she will live forever. Sadly, that's not the case.

I'm glad you were able to spend some time with her before she passed away, and I think holding onto the good memories you had with her would be a good thing. Perhaps you can get together with your siblings and/or cousins and put together a scrapbook in her memory? That way, you don't have to go through your grief alone and turn it into something positive at the same time.

As Holly said, I think it's ok to let yourself feel positive emotions even if it's a sad time in your life right now. It must be difficult wanting to share the good things happening with close friends and family members, given what just happened; but perhaps you can write about it and then share when you feel the time is appropriate?

You have the right to feel all the emotions you have right now. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that!

Thinking of you, take care.

[Rivière]

Grief is always such a difficult thing for humans to process. We go through most, if not all the stages of grief; shock, guilt, anger, progression.. and so on. It's only natural that you feel guilty for feeling happy. Someone in your life has passed away and you feel bad for actually feeling good about something. How can you feel any other way? It's perfectly normal.

I remember when my nan died years ago. I didn't know how to process how I felt. I'd never experienced someone close to me dying before. In order to deal with the pain I drowned myself in work. I went back to college and studied full time. I actually did a pretty bad job because I was only doing it to distract myself from how I was feeling. I only went there to be around other people and not feel so isolated and alone. I only went there just so I could do something... anything to make the feelings of loss go away. My nan wasn't exactly the greatest of people. In fact she was pretty awful. But she still had a huge influence on my life regardless, and I had just lost her. She was gone and I would never see her again.

I think from that whole experience, I learnt that it's ok to allow ourselves to experience pain. It's natural to try and drown ourselves with something to keep ourselves busy because we just feel so unhappy that we don't know how to deal with the pain at the moment. The problem is that we're only delaying the inevitable. It's ok to allow yourself to be upset. It's ok to feel angry and depressed. It's ok to want to feel like you just want to yell all the time and not stop. You just lost somebody. It's ok not to be ok.

The site has so many great resources we offer to members, but don't forget you're one too. You have access to some great resources like this one. Even if it doesn't help all that much right now, at least it'll have given you a brief moment to help pass the time.

Be however you want to be, and feel whatever you want to feel.

[Dawn.]

I tend to distract myself with things such as work and studying to keep myself busy. I haven't been through this amount of stress before in one period before and it's tiring.

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

Hey!

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. It definitely is hard losing a grandparent, especially the last one you have. The feelings you have are valid, and even not knowing how you are feeling is valid. It's okay to take time to process these emotions and do what you need to do in order to grieve. Take care of yourself and think of the good, happy memories. I am glad you got to say goodbye, though.

I wouldn't feel guilty for feeling happy about the good things, though. Your grandmother wouldn't want you to feel sad or upset all the time. I bet she'd be happy to know that you are feeling some relief for the things that had been going on before.

Definitely rest and take some time for yourself. You deserve it.

-Dez

[Dawn.]

Originally Posted by Wheek!

Hey!

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. It definitely is hard losing a grandparent, especially the last one you have. The feelings you have are valid, and even not knowing how you are feeling is valid. It's okay to take time to process these emotions and do what you need to do in order to grieve. Take care of yourself and think of the good, happy memories. I am glad you got to say goodbye, though.

I wouldn't feel guilty for feeling happy about the good things, though. Your grandmother wouldn't want you to feel sad or upset all the time. I bet she'd be happy to know that you are feeling some relief for the things that had been going on before.

Definitely rest and take some time for yourself. You deserve it.

-Dez

Thank you for your reply. I'll rest as much as I can.