Triggering: My Mental Health

[Dawn.]

So my mental health has taken over. I was doing so well and all it takes is one trigger to send me into a nose dive. Maybe I'm over-reacting and worrying for nothing like I usually do. I hope I am this time. I work casually on the weekends at a bar/pub and I received a message from one of the managers who also does the rosters and is one of the senior leaders that because we have been doing well so far with not having any community transmission cases of COVID-19, bars/pubs where I live, will no longer be needing a COVID-19 Marshall, which contributing to the majority, if not all, of my hours that I worked there. I'm hoping that he rosters me on for different sections of the venue from now on and not get rid of me.

I have been looking and applying for other full-time jobs so I won't have to continue working 2 jobs or 6-7 days a week. But I've constantly been knocked back due to my lack of experience in other industries. My full-time job is stressful and one that I do not wish to working in anymore.

I'm also studying 3 qualifications (silly me, for taking on so much work, right?) and I'm also in the process of buying my 2nd home.

Because of all these things happening simultaneously, it has taken a toll on my mental health and I can feel myself sinking and succumbing to it. I am tired mentally, physically and emotionally.

[Sprite-1]

I've very sad you've been going through such hard and emotionally difficult times where it feels like you're on a see-saw, up and down, up and down. But if you can away into the type of work that would suit you better, physically and mentally, it's import you don't overdo your strength. If we overstretch, and I've been guilty of this, then we pay for overdoing that which our mind and body cannot cope with.

I hope you will be able to cut back and give yourself some slack, though life tends to get in the way of our plans, the most important of all is getting enough sleep.

I wake up in the middle of the night often upset, had a bad dream etc, but I go make a cuppa tea, and then lie down. It worked, and continues to. Sleep not only repairs the body my doctor said, but also she said that sleep repairs the mind. My doctor continued stressing how important it was to come away from our computers, which we're often we're addicted to, and get back into a regular sleep pattern because sleep is healing.

So you're working on 3 scholastic subjects? That must be difficult trying to slot in time, so I hope again you won't overstretch yourself in your studies. Can you take short walks in-between studies? I've found that helps clear the mind somewhat.

Keeping a sleep diary helps. I'm keeping note in an A6, one-page-a day pocket notebook and over the weeks been finding real benefit. I look back to the psychotic state I was in compared to present. More sleep has really helped, and I hope you will consider this for yourself.

You're in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, and let's chat later.

[Rivière]

With there being only 24 hours in a day, you must be really pushing yourself to manage your time well in order to keep up with everything. It sounds like you're starting to burn yourself out. Not to mention the stress on whether you're going to be able continue doing one of your current jobs. It all adds to the pile. If I were in your situation I would certainly be feeling similar, if not worse. The fact you've been keeping this up for quite some time now, and trying to have your own free time, is nothing short of amazing.

Referring to a recent thread I made, I think looking at your work and education schedule would really benefit you. Take an in-depth look at your calendar and mark off the days that you work, along with start and finish. Account for the time it takes you to get up, do your morning thing to prep for work, along with any transportation times it'd take to reach/return from your destination. Then look at when you'd need to be studying for your subjects. Start with the subject you've been struggling with the most so it now receives your full attention, and will then be when you have the most energy to focus on them. Once you've marked down all the things that suck up a lot of your time, look at what's left over. Remember you still have to eat and sleep. As Tommy rightfully mentioned, sleep is important. Make sure you're getting around 8 hours of sleep so you can allow your body to recharge. I remember you saying you like going to the gym and maybe taking part in some classes, so that's also a good thing to mark off as well as time taken to/from there as well. When you've got everything marked off, you can look at what free time you have, and actually start to plan out what you'd like to do in between.

Don't forget to consider how you best learn. While it varies from person to person, the average information absorption rate is around 40 minutes. So consider bursts of studying between 30-50 minutes at a time, taking rest periods of around 10-15 minutes in between where you grab yourself something to eat, check out silly videos on YouTube... whatever else you can think of to allow your mind to recharge before you get back into it.

Self-care can be running yourself a nice bubble bath. Going for a walk. Chatting with friends. Spending time away from books/the computer to allow your eyes to rest. It doesn't matter what it is, so long as it's not work/education-related. Take time for you, and enjoy doing it.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello,

I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with this right now and I hope that you will be okay soon. When you have been working so much and taking classes too it can be hard to be okay with this and everything else going on. When you have time try to find something to help you so that you can relax for a while, going for a walk around your house or reading a book for a while or putting on music or a funny movie or TV show or painting or drawing or writing or something else that you enjoy doing and hopefully doing something like this can help you to be okay for a while. I understand that it can be hard to make time for yourself, we always need to take care of ourselves no matter what we are going through or doing. I hope that you are able to find a different job and someone will call you to say they have an opening for you. Try not to get upset about this and I know it's easier said than done. I hope that you will be okay soon with all of this going on. Sending you lots of :hugs: to help you.

[Everglow.]

Hey,

With the amount of work and hours you're taking on with jobs, studying and looking into buying a home, I can completely understand why your mental health is struggling a bit. I imagine you must be feeling pretty burnt out which would make sense. I'm sorry you're dealing with this right now.

I don't have any quick fix solutions to give you (I'm in the same boat about not liking my current job and wanting to fine a job, but having no experience suited to anything else), but I would encourage you to try and find time for yourself somehow. If you have some annual leave days to take, maybe book some time off of your jobs and take a week or two to just exist outside of all of that. Sometimes I find that helps me, and it gives me something to work towards and motivate me when I'm working the days/weeks leading up to a break. If you can do this, give yourself time to do the things you enjoy when you're off of work, such as walking, art, reading, playing an instrument etc. Schedule time to do a hobby or two, or call a friend, and turn all work notifications off for the time you're away so that you can really switch off.

I understand that you're stressed about your part time job too which can't be helpful to your mood. Do you feel comfortable asking your manager about what's happening sothat you have some answers to questions about your status working there? Similarly, maybe you can talk to your managers and explain to them what you're feeling in terms of stress and your mental health. Often, employers have processes in place for mental health, such as staff benefits or helplines. They might be able to direct you to something which can help.

If I can ever help with anything, feel free to message me any time. I know it's hard right now, but I hope this has helped a bit. Don't feel like you need to power on through by yourself. Take care.

[Dawn.]

Thank you all for your replies...they have helped immensely so I appreciate your time to reply to me.

So my concerns have been confirmed and I am not rostered on next week for my casual job. I messaged the rostering manager/senior team manager and he has not even had to decency to respond me but I'm not surprised. I have worked with this manager at another venue and he had done the same thing to me at the previous venue as now. I'm now back to square one and has caused me even more stress. I just want to not have to feel this way anymore. I've had enough.

[Dawn.]

Update:

So the rostering manager had a chat with me today. He said that he had forgotten to roster me on for next week so I just have to wait and see if he'll be true to his word and roster me on for the following week.

[Rivière]

Is there anyone above him that you can speak to? If he's done this to you before it seems really shifty. How can you 'forget' to include part of your team on the roster. It seems so... odd.

[Everglow.]

Managers can sometimes be really unhelpful, and when you can no longer trust them to be true to their word it makes everything a million times more stressful. I really hope he's being honest with you and that this gets sorted quickly.

I agree, I would speak to his manager/superior about this. I can imagine how you must have felt when you found out you weren't put on schedule to work next week; that would send you into a down-ward spiral of anxiety.

I hope you find a different job soon, but the job market is really scarce now; and in the areas where there are high demands, there are also requirements. I totally get it, they require a university degree, the ability to answer phones, to have a valid driver's license.

We live in such a privileged and ablest world; despite our skills making us qualified for the jobs we want.

[Dawn.]

I thought it was odd as well but he has rostered me on for next week which I'm really surprised about. I hope he keeps rostering me on.

Would it be possible to ask him why he didn't put you on the roster last week but did for this upcoming week?

[Dawn.]

Originally Posted by sauorkan

Would it be possible to ask him why he didn't put you on the roster last week but did for this upcoming week?

There was a reason behind it which I kind of understand but now I'm feeling anxious about whether he will roster me on next week due to a manager asking me to work on Saturday night and I couldn't due to them asking me 3 hours before the shift.