|
Re: Screaming thread.
Fuck job searching.
|
Re: Screaming thread.
Maybe one cut wouldn't be so bad.
I know I am close to three years free but I don't know that I care. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Starting every day with fatigue level 8-9 out of 10, which only gets progressively worse. But I'm just lazy.
Also student loan payments will be due starting August 2nd, which is apparently less than 2 weeks away. Havent mentally prepared for that. Also, I don't have a job besides a few hours per week for my parents.. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Feel selfish. Feel like I ruin things. Feel like a burden. Feel sick after reading something and wondering if that's how others see me too.
|
Re: Screaming thread.
I've got a pretty bad headache but I can't go home
|
Re: Screaming thread.
My grandad has had 2 fits this week, and still no MRI results to find out why. I'm worried that there wont be time. Like my nan.
|
Re: Screaming thread.
I'm so anxious. I can't cope
|
Re: Screaming thread.
Would you rather me die than take a few days off?
|
Re: Screaming thread.
Don't want to be here
|
Re: Screaming thread.
I miss your touch so fucking much
|
Re: Screaming thread.
I'd rather not come to work tomorrow
|
Re: Screaming thread.
Moving on from the past is hard. Trying to forget people is harder. Forgiving yourself is the hardest.
|
Re: Screaming thread.
I am panicking hard core. Not sure what I am panicking about exaclty but I am. Too much change in a short amount of time
|
Re: Screaming thread.
Too burnt out to care that I have another second interview. Never seem to get past the second interview anyway, so why bother getting my hopes up just to be let down again. I'm beyond hopeless. I feel like I'm in a permanently altered state from a combination of constant high stress, sleep deprivation, fatigue, anxiety, dissociation, and way too much caffeine and sugar. But everyone keeps telling me I'm lazy for wanting just ONE day off out of the whole week, that I should push harder and longer or I'm a disappointment. My body is quitting on me. Shutting down. How much caffeine, sugar, and stress/anxiety does it take for me to have a heart attack? Because that's the road I'm on at this point. Working myself to the point of dizziness, nausea, panic attacks, and mircosleeps isn't taken seriously by you. That's apparently me being dramatic and lazy and hurting you by "not trying hard enough." Maybe a heart attack would make you take me seriously. And if it kills me, I don't care because at least this all would finally end.
|
Re: Screaming thread.
What's the point in looking? Never going to happen anyway. So fed up of it all.
|
Re: Screaming thread.
Headache... .... .... ...
|
Re: Screaming thread.
In danger of my parents finding out I'm queer.. I can't leave the house. I want to die even more.
|
Re: Screaming thread.
We'll see if I get fired or not. Fuck their logistics and fuck their organisation.
I shouldn't be so stressed, but I'm absolutely horrified. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Don't know why today all I feel like doing is pushing everyone I've ever spoken to away and hiding under a blanket until I die.
|
Re: Screaming thread.
I promised myself I'd hold on until the concert next week.
Now I'm not sure I can even make it that much longer. I'm sorry... |
Re: Screaming thread.
I'm feeling overwhelmed and anxious.
All I can do is fall asleep and hope tomorrow goes OK. I'm hoping things work out the way I wanted them too. |
Re: Screaming thread.
My severe anxiety has mostly gone away because I've given up hope, so I no longer care about the outcomes.
|
Re: Screaming thread.
Spent all day angry at everything. Completely hate myself and it's no wonder everyone else does too.
|
Re: Screaming thread.
I couldn't go to the huge networking event. The anxiety was too much. Depression too. I know I'm a disappointment. This time it is my fault. But fuck it all anyway. Not like I'll get a job anyway. Who the fuck would want to hire me? Clearly no one out of almost 400 employers. But that's okay. Soon I'll be gone. No one will notice one less application. Or care. I'm just a burden on my friends and family. So, I'll be doing everyone a favor.
Paid over $300 toward my student loans today. First payment. Still no real job. There goes the money I was hoping would go toward me leaving this broken home... There goes my last shred of hope. Forever. |
Re: Screaming thread.
I've been trying to write about the trauma from the past however many years to heal from it but my brain just tries to bury it deeper every time I do. So how am I supposed to face it? How am I supposed to heal? How am I supposed to move forward?
|
Re: Screaming thread.
I haven't slept properly in the last few nights and it's starting to get to me. I overthink and read something and feel like a bad person and I'm just going to ruin things. Once again I'm left to feel selfish, a burden, a drain and an overall annoyance. It's so hard to try to keep in control of things, more so when I don't see the effort paying off. Wish I could accept me and others accept me, just the way I am too.
Hopefully just a few more days before I hear something. Hate waiting. |
Re: Screaming thread.
I don't understand my brain.
|
Re: Screaming thread.
I cannot believe I had the misfortune of being friends with such a parasite of a person for so long.
|
Re: Screaming thread.
Even when I say specifically that nobody likes spending time with me, the conversation gets breezed over and doesn't happen.
|
Re: Screaming thread.
my ear buds broke half way through the walk and I swear my morale dropped with it. I don't have anything to drown him out now.
|
Re: Screaming thread.
I don't feel like I can do this.
I'm security sucks |
Re: Screaming thread.
I feel like I’m losing my shit.
|
Re: Screaming thread.
I'm slightly panicked
|
Re: Screaming thread.
This assignment I am doing needs to complete itself. :mad:
|
Re: Screaming thread.
Other people do have my worries... I just have an extreme response to the worries because anxiety...
|
Re: Screaming thread.
I'm tired and have a headache. Why does seemingly everyday ordinary things take the energy out of me?
Also, worried I won't hear back until September. My own fault for leaving it late but it doesn't make the waiting any easier. |
Re: Screaming thread.
WHY ME?!
Go away, stupid eating disorder. |
Re: Screaming thread.
Things are just hard. >.<
|
Re: Screaming thread.
This is just UNFAIR :'(
|
Re: Screaming thread.
Does everyone think I\'m just a whiny, "triggered" bitch? Does J think so?
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