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Re: Screaming thread.
I really wish I hadn't gone there.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I don't feel well rested at all. I could use another six hours of sleep.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I really need to catch up on my sleep or I am falling sick during my exams and I can't have that happen. Ugh
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Re: Screaming thread.
Sleep please.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I'm so tired of your shit. Both of you. First you tell me you really wanna go, oh how you wanna go, but when it's time for organising everything you don't pick up any calls or read my messages, c'mon do you think I think you haven't seen them? However stupid you believe me to be, this doesn't work anymore, even on me, Jesus Christ.
And now this meeting. Why the fuck can't I attend any events? I've been to one event in my whole life, and I consider it one of the best moments in my life. People around me go to freaking music festivals around the world whole summer, travel to freaking continents 10 hours of flight away and I can't go to ONE music festival in MY OWN COUNTRY, to see ONE band? Nor can I go to see a person who's changed my whole life and saved me, to meet her and see for two minutes, when she's been in a country easily available for me? I don't ask to go on three hundred events a year. I ask to go on one. They're equally important for me, but I know it's hard for my parents because of financial reasons, so I want to go on one. On one, and pay for it. Then why, for fuck's sake, won't you let me go?! And I'm feeling even worse for being jealous of all the people that got to see that person and will get to see that band. I know I've got so many things I shouldn't be jealous. But I can't help it. |
Re: Screaming thread.
I just want you to keep your distance. Don't ruin this for me. I just want you out of my life.
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Re: Screaming thread.
The Hunger Games' Thirteen Reasons Why.
That is all. |
Re: Screaming thread.
And Im homeless again for next year.
FUUUUUUCK. |
Re: Screaming thread.
I have told you so many times that I am so sorry for not catching Salem when he was falling. I was scared and didn't know what to do. I know that you hate me, and I am so sorry I feel so bad and what do you want me to do. I didn't mean to just let your cat fall, I wish I grabbed him, but I was scared. I'm sorry.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I'm a horrible person. All this is for nothing.
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Re: Screaming thread.
This used to be more than enough because it was all I could handle. I held on in hopes of more only to get through it to realize that there really isn't anything, Really?! I'm not imagining this, there's a difference between lack of effort and lack of options.
Survive every last second of what I've been through the last 29 years, then you can judge how I did it. The fact that I'm still here is a fucking miracle and you have NO right to tell me right or wrong. You called on Easter, had me practically in tears yet you're going to ITALY and didn't even bother to tell me?! What the fuck?! Newsflash: The world DOES NOT revolve around you! EVERYBODY except me can be some kind of mental health professional! What the fuck is happening?! |
Re: Screaming thread.
I am risking a lot of things. Why the bloody hell is my mind all over the place right now?
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Re: Screaming thread.
Why is it that everytime i'm ok and things are actually going ok for once life comes abd kicks me again and again and again till i'm not ok anymore? Whats the point in even getting up again and fighting if everyone and everthing just turns afainst me again the second i get back on my feet?
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Re: Screaming thread.
I am so bloody tired. My head is bursting. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this stress. I am not doing well. I need to focus on my health. I need to focus on not getting into old patterns of self-destruction but all I can do right now is worry and get stressed and it is not helping. I need a few calm days but I don't have any and don't see any in the near future.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I hate how much pain you cause. This could be a thousand times easier with you here, but I suppose I understand how difficult this is.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Please you have to get along. I can't stand the fighting. Why can't you get along. If you could talk this would be so much easier. I just want my family how it used to be.
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Re: Screaming thread.
You never trusted me and I never lied to you. I never understood why you were always jealous of my friend, and I couldn't take us fighting over it. It's over, that's why I had to break up with you today. I feel like I don't know what to do, but I am not with you anymore. My heart feels like it's broken. Because it was the first time breaking up with someone. I just want to yell.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I'm such a failure in education.
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Re: Screaming thread.
If I could beat myself I would
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Re: Screaming thread.
It's... actually NOT that hard to help me feel better??? Sorry I make things so difficult Jesus Christ
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Re: Screaming thread.
Please no more bad news. I can't take it. It has to be ok. Why do we have terrible things happen. Why can't we all live in a world where everyone is great and nothing bad happens. She has to be ok. Oh please make her ok. Please.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Hi brain, can you please cooperate for a bit. That's all! Gah.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I need to do this if I'm going to do it, but I just can't. If only you'd told me what to do next, I wouldn't have to worry about it. I mean to and then time gets away from me. And it's not my fault my therapist left. Never known anyone debilitated by this my ass.
Please don't call back at the crack of dawn. I realize the responsibility falls on me, but I don't think the things I'm asking for are unreasonable. If you're approving someone, you should tell them what to do next, not leave them with no clue. |
Re: Screaming thread.
This is getting out of hand. Don't know how to deal with it.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Okay. I'll man the fuck up. We'll see where that gets me, you callous fucking prick.
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Re: Screaming thread.
This is too much to deal with right now and I am desperate for any kind of break, lucky or otherwise.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Gotta do it, eh? Nobody else will do it for me. But at least I'm not completely alone anymore...
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Re: Screaming thread.
Anxiety is evil
And of course I got my random daily reminder that even a nurse who changed her mind can be a social worker. I seriously fucking quit! STOP forcing yourself to "be positive" all the time, and STOP telling me that I have to do the same thing! |
Re: Screaming thread.
Are you proud of your lack of empathy? You are a disgusting human being.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I wish we'd never booked this holiday.
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Re: Screaming thread.
For once can we have a normal conversation without you asking me to study and stressing me out more?
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Re: Screaming thread.
I can't anymore.
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Re: Screaming thread.
Cannot wait for the weekend when I can just chill out and do absolutely nothing.
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Re: Screaming thread.
no matter how hard i try, it's never enough. Can't you all see I'm doing what i can? I really wish the result was better...
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Re: Screaming thread.
I can't believe that you would blame me for her being sick. What kind of mother are you? You cannot make someone or an animal sick or hurt. I can't believe you said that to me. I am already hurting from this and you are making me hurt and be upset more. I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and I will believe that it's going to be ok. She will be ok.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I'm such a fat failure. I'll never amount to anything. Suicidal.
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Re: Screaming thread.
FUCKING. LEARN. HOLY SHIT.
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Re: Screaming thread.
I just saw another girl on Facebook who liked me in high school who I showed interest in... and she's fucking stunning now. Jaw-droppingly stunning. I couldnt believe how beautiful she is.
GOD. DAMMIT. SO. FUCKING. STUPID |
Re: Screaming thread.
Let it be ok. She will be ok, that's what I am believing.
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Re: Screaming thread.
You don't need to show off. I don't really care. :rolleyes:
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