Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Calaer]

I wish that my house work did itself. I just wanna take a long bath and go to sleep.

[.Brittany.]

I'm too tired to do anything. And I'm cold as well..

[nothereanymore]

apparently in rare cases this is fatal and I'm a little scared of how that might happen but I'm totally okay with that

I am worthless.

[nothereanymore]

I was getting better and now I'm getting worse again. I would like to NOT end up in the hospital because
"it's always something with you"
"get a fucking job"
"of course you're late"

This is out of my hands but it's exactly what people expect of me.

[Kate*]

This gets worse, not better and one of the first things she said to me was that there's nothing to do for it. It will likely cost me EVERYTHING I wanted out of life, and I wasn't asking for that much! May as well kill myself now. Almost 30 years of all the shit it caused(s) me was more than enough. The thing it culminated in was just icing on the cake.

Grow the fuck up! You wanted the power, not the responsibility that goes with it. You got both, you are completely fucking clueless, I'm screwed beyond comprehension, and instead of preparing, you're throwing tantrums like a G-D damn CHILD!

Hormones are killing me. This is a relatively new torture, but I get to deal with it monthly for at least 30 more years UGH

I don't lack empathy, I lack patience and you've spent my last fucking nerve. By the time that happens, I won't care, I just won't have it in me anymore.

Should've just let myself fall back to sleep like I did yesterday because now I can't.

[nothereanymore]

You're a joke.

I'm a burden no matter what they say. It'd be a burden to restart therapy.

[FPFanatic6661]

Why am I so scared of talking to people?

[Everglow.]

Feeling kind of sad tonight. Worried about letting her down. Worried about upsetting people.
I really am trying to stay positive but it's so hard to be happy all the time.

I hate the way you treat me.

[nothereanymore]

Back to a diet of nothing but probiotic yogurt, and making an appointment with a gastroenterologist because there's blood now. Fucking fantastic.

[Everglow.]

Going abroad for the first time in June. Need an NHS insurance card but I'm shit scared of doctors and I don't want to register with a GP and have to have a check up. Last time I had a check up I couldn't stop shaking. Not doing it.
Need to find another way.

You're such a piece of crap and you are no better.

[nothereanymore]

Hopefully this appointment can get me on the road AWAY from the emergency room. Honest to god if I keep getting sick I'm going to off myself

[Everglow.]

Feel so unwell again. Can't be productive when every movement makes me feel like I'm gonna be sick.

[nothereanymore]

I love how my family suddenly becomes afraid of me being contagious like I haven't been around them for the last eight days. My sister has been sitting on the same damn toilet seat as me and she's fine. If I picked my butt and then touched someone with my hands then that'd be a different story. I had my system wiped clean of bacteria and that's how I got sick. They're all fine. But no, I've been banished to a strict liquid diet and im not allowed near anyone. Fuck you guys. I'm gonna be starving for the next week and I'm gonna hear "go somewhere else" all damn day during that time. What fucking misery.

I woke up super anxious and now can't get back to sleep. Have to be up early and have a long day tomorrow. Fantastic.

[nothereanymore]

Glad that's over. Now to worry and worry about what sort of sickness I have this time.

[Calaer]

I'm so tired of the way people treat others. Why can't you just respect everyone and leave it be. Gosh.

[Kate*]

With the amount of bitching you do about everything and everyone else, the fact that you're trying to act like a mature adult about this is fucking hilarious. We're not all going to lose, only people you don't like (and me) will lose everything. Oh, and you can't say in one breath that he wasn't your first choice either, but everyone needs to grow the fuck up, and then in the next say, he's what's best for the country. It makes you a hypocrite like everyone else you've spent your whole life judging like you're perfect. How about you "solve" the fact that I lose my healthcare immediately before telling me to stop being the problem?! Had this gone the other way you'd be the biggest baby out there and you know it. Now you're commenting on every meme he posts because you disagree with his views like that's helping to prove your original point, that you're a mature adult and he's not. Interesting you didn't attack me, but honestly, the more you post/rant about people being immature about this, the more immature you look yourself.

Safe space shouldn't be used that way, but I completely agree with you.

Had to go through the box to find things to give my therapist context. Reread some of it to make sure I was taking the right documents. There's a reason I haven't done so in 2 years. She says 90% of what you say is crap, I wish I'd known that when I was still there. She also confirmed that I didn't imagine any of it. She's already better at dealing with me than you ever were.

[Everglow.]

Just wish I could get a break from being ill. I've been ill in some form or another now for about a month.

[nothereanymore]

^ I feel you. I hope you feel better. <3

Unbelievable that you still do this to me. You have no concept of boundaries. Please for the love of god just fucking STOP.

[Storyteller.]

This heat is really knocking me around and I would so love some relief from it.

[Sophrosyne]

Why is it so damn hot I'm melting.

[Kate*]

They're not even in power yet, and my healthcare just disappeared. With nothing to replace it. Fucking awesome.

Some people are absolutely deplorable (and incredibly judgmental). You wouldn't survive half the shit I have. I know it's wrong to wish bad on people, but it's the only way you'd learn.

I guess the fact that I don't want to do this is a reason it's necessary. I finally get help and now I'll probably lose it. Plus, I know it will help, which kind of makes both issues worse.

I know why you want to know what I want to do, and one of my fears was that I don't have an answer to that. Please don't charge me for going overtime, you're supposed to watch the clock and structure the session, it's not all on me anymore.

I want to disappear.

[FPFanatic6661]

Why did we have to watch that video in class??

[nothereanymore]

Glad to finally have a diagnosis and medication but kinda disappointed I'm not gonna die

[Everglow.]

We've called the internet provider every day for weeks, this has been going on since before christmas and instead of sorting the problem out they keep lying to us about there being a fault that conveniently is gonna be magically sorted the month after our contract ends. Funny that when I spoke to them we got another story. Sick of paying £50 a month for pages that don't load and less than a mb of download speed. It's a joke. And the customer service is awful. I hate adulting.

[nothereanymore]

i'm at risk

[Chuuya]

I don't want to do all of this anymore.

[Calaer]

I know that I need to message you and we need to talk things out, but I'm still unsure as to what I'm going to say, and I still don't know how you're going to react.

[.Brittany.]

Why am I so darn tired all the dang time..

[Calaer]

I want this to go well, and I want things to be better, but I'm so afraid of this going south, and I have no idea how to handle the situation.

[.Brittany.]

Nightmares every time I try and nap/sleep...

[nothereanymore]

The way my mood can just plummet because of you is... I fucking hate it. I hate how I need validation from you all the fucking time.

[Calaer]

I know I need to let this go and move on, but I'm just not sure how.

[Kate*]

Figures, the next day I spiral. At least next time I can start by telling you I think you're wrong.

You are not the authority on disability (good thing too), because you're arrogant and clueless. Not everyone can "get off their ass and work." There's a difference between lazy and broken.

EVERY fucking time! You can't be pissed at me for seeking help when she won't. At least I'm trying, and it's not like it's costing you anything.

Please stop pushing similar things on me. I can't have or do anything that I want. That's what I need you for.

If the cat is going to die, I wish he'd just go once. This is the second time we thought he was dead and he's not. I don't want to leave him, especially with the basement door open.

[.Brittany.]

So hungry and tired..

[Storyteller.]

I really could have done with a better night's sleep.