Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Kate*]

Dealing with the mood isn't going to get me very far if we don't somehow rebuild my life. Making me feel better and ready to do something new, without an idea of what that could possibly be doesn't seem to have much point to it. I don't feel like you got an accurate picture of me since I've never talked that much I think ever, let alone with someone I've never met!

After almost 21 months of absolute HELL, can I have a break now, please?

All I want for Christmas is my life back. There's a part of me that still wants the old one because I don't know if it was really impossible or if the perfect storm from hell just made it that way.

She's going to ruin Christmas and you know it. Stop telling me to "try to be positive", with her it only leads to disappointment. That's part of the reason I'm dealing better with her than you are.

You KNOW I'm a life-long night owl, please don't call so early! And under the guise of "forgetting" your only child on a major holiday if you don't?! Yeah, I'm not buying it.

The world does NOT revolve around you, I don't care why you think it should. BE HAPPY we got a Christmas baby and that your daughter is a grandmother again, STOP being selfish and whining that you're going to get left! For fuck sake GROW UP!!!

PLEASE don't let the Medicaid lapse, I NEED to keep this therapist.

[nothereanymore]

I worked for two weeks while sick with strep. And all this week I have fought the urge to call in because I just didn't want to go. I got really low yesterday and I didn't sleep well last night and when I woke up this morning I felt like shit and I just didn't want to go. So I called in. And everyone is giving me shit for it. I know I'm losing money. I know it's disappointing. But one day off because I feel like shit when I worked almost three weeks in a row, two of which were spent being very very sick, shouldn't be a terrible thing.
"Oh, I'm so proud of you for doing this that and the other thing but gaaaasp you do one thing WRONG and you're disappointing and not trying and you know there are huge consequences to this"

Fuck off. I told you I was low. Don't be a dick. That's all I'm asking. I could care less about pity or sympathy but I care about people being fucking rude. I'm not stupid. I know I should've gone to work. But I'm not a major fuckup for taking a damn day off.

I feel unhappy with almost everything.
I feel sick and depressed.
I want to die so badly.
I want to cut even more so.

I haven't felt this sick in years, AND I have to keep this stupid catheter in until next Wednesday. Argh, this is the worst way to spend the holidays.

[MWF]

Just saw Princess Leia had a heart attack.
Fuck 2016 with a fucking crowbar.

Originally Posted by MichWolverineFreak

Just saw Princess Leia had a heart attack.
Fuck 2016 with a fucking crowbar.

Haha, I was actually thinking something similar. Like, what a spectacular end to a freaking horrible year. And, 2017 isn't gonna be much better.

[Tigereyes]

I can't fucking take this anymore

[nothereanymore]

I don't want to feel this way I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand

[Resilient]

Thanks for cancelling on me again and then being too busy to not be able to see me till the 9th. I know it's beyond your control but it's frustrating.

I want to die.

Why did you have to act like this on Christmas day?
I was so hoping things would be different when you two moved up here, but nothing has changed.

[Everglow.]

It's hardly ideal at home with my parents where I have no space to live but it's so much nicer than living with you.

[Kate*]

I see how you operate now:

The world revolves around you
You're the only one "allowed" to complain about anything (even when someone is going through the same thing), because no one has it worse than you.
You're "entitled" to us taking care of you and putting up with all your shit because you're the matriarch and provide financially
You "can't" take care of yourself or do anything about your situation because you're just a huge victim

NONE of this is true. We're all going through shit, we all have lives, you AREN'T entitled to anything we do for you, and you aren't even grateful or trying. A new great-grandchild on Christmas Day, partly named after you wasn't enough to make you happy because it was all about how you're going to "get left" and ignored and forgotten. Your vision seems to come and go as it's convenient, and there's a difference between playing a victim and actually BEING one, GROW UP!!!!!!! I'm done being patient, I'm done being positive, I'm done believing that you're going to get easier to deal with. I have my whole life to sort out and rebuild. I can't deal with you anymore.

Back to questioning everything fucking awesome. Maybe I caused it, maybe you did care, maybe not. Maybe it doesn't matter because it's over, period. Truth is, I'll probably never know because even if I could ask, you'd never tell me.

Because the worse before better isn't bad enough (and I'm not even sure if that's what this is), I'm not even sure, better is coming because I'm possibly losing the coverage. This would be easier to deal with if I knew either way. I could either keep fighting on my own or look forward to help.

There's a good chance this is going to be really bad. The last thing we need is your attitude from above. The world does NOT revolve around you, you AREN'T the one to have it worst, and I don't care if you hate her, she's family. You'd better get over yourself quick and grow the fuck up before we figure out what this is, or you WILL be left to your own devices in favor of her. We're all dealing with shit, hell, my entire fucking LIFE fell apart, and unlike you I didn't do it to myself. I have a right to complain too damn it, but also unlike you, I"m taking steps to fix it, only venting to people who don't mind hearing about it, and realize that I'm NOT a baby, or the center of the fucking world. Yeah, 2017 is going to be great!

[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

Holy crap a dental cleaning should not be hurting like this wtf did she do

[nothereanymore]

Still ugly after a pound of makeup

[Everglow.]

I'm honestly so tired of dealing with this. This isn't friendship. Friendship shouldnt give me urges to hurt myself.

[Chuuya]

You need to stop. Yes. It's almost your birthday but that does not give you an excuse to act like the world needs to revolve around you. If I want to go out tonight with some friends to play bingo, I can without feeling guilty.

Get over yourself. I don't have to sit at home and wallow in self pity all the time like you do.

[Everglow.]

Absolute waste of space. Dont bite the hand that feeds you? You have nothing to offer her, me, or the rest of this family, and with the attitude you have you have nothing to offer anyone. You're a spoilt brat of a child in the body of a 20 year old man and the sooner you learn to grow out of the immature, selfish ways you were bought up with the happier you will be. You and your mum and your sister can do whatever you want. You made it clear we aren't family months ago. Years ago even. You made it clear you didn't care. So say what you want. Dish out the insults you like but she was right. You're a pathetic ecuse for family and we're all happier and better off without you putting a drain on us.
Enjoy your life. I hope genuinely that you end up happy, but you'd be so much happier if you'd just learn to get on with the people who have helped you and stopped acting like you've given as good as you've got.
Bye.

[Tigereyes]

It's all I want and I have some.. I can't do this anymore and I don't want to. I'm a lost cause.

[Clarent]

please help me

[.Brittany.]

Plan B.... I hate having to go through this.,

[nothereanymore]

I'd like to be angry that I might have just gotten unceremoniously laid off two weeks before the season ends but I'm not surprised. Of course this didn't go like it was supposed to.

I want to die. I am not good enough.

[Jordioa18]

I wish I fucking had a job, or a chance of getting one. I'm sick and tired of my parents telling me "Jordi, you can't do this, you can't do that, they expect of you to have this ability at your age". You don't want to encourage me to get a fucking job while you fucking yap behind my girlfriends back for not having a job. Kinda hypocritical, isn't it?

But it's alright, it'll take two years for me to get a job without any encouragement either

Fuck, I spent too much money.

[Kate*]

The world does not revolve around you. You aren't the only one going through things, and you need to shut up! Unlike you, I didn't do half of the shit I've been through in the last two years to myself, and nobody came running for me. Nobody sits there all day and listens to me bitch, I tried to reach out and was told, by the same woman who defends you, to "suck it up" I had to do it all on my own, it's time you learned from me.

I can't tell if I'm hungry or going to throw up.

Good news: I feel better
Bad news: I still have no life and I'm completely lost.

[Chai.]

I am done being invisible. I am done trying to be your friend and keeping in touch. It's so obvious that ever since you met your new friends, you don't care about talking to me anymore. Well, I don't care anymore either.

I want to die.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

Should do everyone a favor and just kill myself. No one wants a stupid, worthless, fat pig around.

[nothereanymore]

Unemployed again.

Anxiety making me not want to go!

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

Such a stupid, worthless, disgusting fat pig.

[MWF]

Fuck the Orange Bowl, fuck Florida State, fuck football, fuck everything. I could skin a kitten right now.

Edit: no, I could use a kitten for therapy right now.

Maybe I want to die.

Starting off the last day of an absolutely shit year vomiting my guts up. Perfect.

I spent $12.90 on something and they sent me the wrong item. Waiting to hear back from the seller about it. I mean, I hope they will compensate me or replace the item but it was through a third party seller so they might not. I am absolutely pissed off. Also might not hear from them for a couple of days because it's a weekend and there is a holiday today/tomorrow.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

I'm better off dead than alive.....

[nothereanymore]

Why do I make everyone's lives difficult

[nothereanymore]

Sounded like a good idea at the time. Now I wish I were anywhere else but here.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

Should just do everyone a favor and just kill myself. Nothing good will ever happen to me.