Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Celyn]

Feel like crap. So out of it. Been stressed and now my period is late too, so PMS feels like it's dragging out. Ugh, when will this end?

[Calaer]

I hate that I have to deal with all this extra stress simply because you think you can do whatever you want.

Excuse me? She's my family. Of course if she moves I'm moving with her. Why is there even any debate about that? I live with her for goodness sake. Do you seriously think if she moves that's it, I give up, I'm moving in with you again? Fuck no. She isn't some little "high school romance," Mom. I want to be with her for the rest of my life. We've built a life together. You've always been like this, though. You've never truly accepted any of my relationships. Well, this one's different. This one's going the distance. The sooner you accept that, the better.

Besides, I'm never moving back in with you. Your drinking drove me away.

[Forging Galaxies]

Screw this... I must not open up to anyone, it's a weakness. I will appear strong this time, no matter who the person is.

Also screw this website... lol. I thought I was up for posting around but I don't see the point in it as usual.

[Chai.]

So much pressure and I still haven't learnt to handle it. I need to collect my thoughts, they are all over the place. I need to fucking concentrate on what I am doing and not what I should be doing. Urgh!

[Kate*]

We have the same diagnosis. I really hope it doesn't make me look this stupid to other people. Signing a document means you understand and agree to abide by it. You should've checked it before obtaining pets that weren't allowed and then trying to declare them as "companion animals" AFTER you realized it to avoid consequences for the violation. Even if you claim that's not what you're doing, I'm telling you, that that's what it looks like.

I give up. I'm going to continue to lose everything I wanted to this while being told it doesn't exist. There's no reason to put myself through that. I'm done.

When you removed me from the system I LOST ACCESS to my records you idiot! Now I can't report the income to Medicaid because I don't have a pay stub and if they want to they can have me ARRESTED for fraud. The last thing I need, after everything I've been through is a criminal record.

[Calaer]

I'm so tired of stupid, childish and petty things. Why do some adults still feel the need to spread hurtful and nasty rumors is beyond me.

[jamdoughnut]

I hate myself.

[Rez]

You didn't care then, why now?

[fallingstargirl]

that exam was just so freaking long and I had to sit in the windowless room for four and a half hours and I'm too tired to even think about whether or not it went well and I have to take another one. On top of that I have a chem test on some shit my teacher never really taught and now i have to make up the math test on my own time, which is already crammed with government studying and finishing my article and homework and track. and I'm also being a bitch to you but I can't tell you it's because i'm depressed and have anxiety, because you just don't get that people can be sad and worried and you might not be able to fix it with your positive attitude and a fake smile. just make it stop for five fucking seconds so i can catch my breath

[jamdoughnut]

God in the sky please just tell me why im still here? I can't take it anymore i dont have anything left but you to live for and i dont understand what you want me to do god please...dont let me be alone, not again not ever, i cant take that again.give me strength to stay alive give me strength enough to do what i need to do.
please....
send me an angel to guide me through this hell....

[Chai.]

It's just so annoying that now that I actually have time to talk to you, you are being so negative and dull and it doesn't seem right anymore. Those quick conversations we had when I was shit busy were so much better. I suck at handling my own life, how the fuck will I be able to handle yours, if that's what you want me to do. I am probably the last person you should be opening upto right now.

[jamdoughnut]

Please I can't I can't do anything. Literally anything, I'm too weak. I'm not going to make it.




I am sick. Legitimately sick. I can't feel my hands. Or my feet now. Everything hurts, I can barely walk. My head is throbbing. I constantly have thoughts of dying and suicide and cutting. Im exhausted, yet I can't sleep. I'm always afraid of what horrible thing is going to happen next, of how someone else is going to hurt me. I can't go to school. I'm going to fail, and there isn't a thing i can do about it. I'm not stressed out, I'm really sick. I'm sick in the head and no one is doing anything to help me. Someone please just help me.

[Forging Galaxies]

I really don't think I can hold on for much longer, believe me when I am trying to be alive but at this point it feels inevitable. What's one more dead body among the soil of the earth?

[Calaer]

I hate that you are always at my house eating our food and using our things but you don't think you should have to pay to live there.

[Forging Galaxies]

No I can't die like this, I shouldn't drive it pointless.
I can't just die for no reason, no matter how much I need to. It needs to be a benefit for someone or others.

Sure, it'll cause grief but that's the price and I won't let it be pointless...

[Kate*]

I have to spend part of my birthday on the phone with medicaid, trying to "update" my "income" without a pay stub and without knowledge of half of my paychecks because my manager is an idiot.

It's JUST HAIR, do you really have so little going on in your life that that is the most important thing!?!? Don't bother getting upset about that, so it's not curly anymore because medication (that you NEED) interferes with the perm. WHO CARES?!

[Agirlwithafeelingforgirls]

No mom, I am not okay. I am failing school because of a TV obsession. You are making me go back to damn public school, where I will have to change in a locker room. With girls. I like girls, and you don't even know. The only clues you have are my search history, and how much I talk about Elsa needing a girlfriend. My GRANDPA is catching up more than you, and he only got one clue. So yeah mom, I like boobs and vaginas more than dick. Big fucking whoop! Oh yeah, this is for Hailey. Bitch, you are an amazing, wonderful girl, but I can't confess my love and gayness of you if you won't ever fucking see me! I mean, girl, you think you can get away with anything with those brown, puppy eyes and super long eyelashes and amazing boobs, but... yeah you can because I am hopelessly in love with a 'straight' girl. Rant is over. *drops mic*

[Calaer]

I hate that you're here, but I'm glad you're only here to get your things before you leave my life forever.

[jamdoughnut]

Just let it go.... You have to let it go.... Please just let it go, don't worry about it anymore, it's not even that bad, just release it and you'll be ok, you just have to let it go...

[Calaer]

I have so much to do, and I feel like I have zero time to do to it in. I never get any help, and I'm starting to drown.

[Kate*]

I know it's going to be expensive, but we need a working toilet and shower. I'm not sorry that I care more about our screwed up plumbing than how messy the house is.

I'm so fucking stubborn. I'm miserable but I'm too stubborn to do anything to fix it. I deserve to feel like this.

Good gosh how many boxes do you need to move?! You had that fucking thing going for an hour! I was so anxious I wanted to leave work.

[Calaer]

I wish Jordan didn't have to work today. I want him to stay home and cuddle with Ava and I all day.

[Chai.]

Okay! The stress is getting to me. I am fucking losing concentration and I can't take this anymore. Can we have things sorted soon so I can go back to preparing for finals in peace?

[Kate*]

Happiness is NOT a choice because appreciation is NOT the same thing and doesn't cause happiness. "Choose happiness" in my circumstances (which you will never understand or have to do) and I'll consider it.

For the love of God, WHY are you shooting guns off at 9AM, why are you calling at 10, and why can't I breathe?!?! Because I'm not supposed to sleep, that's why. After 3 hours, 2 more phone calls, and 2 lawn mowings, I'm giving up.

I've been sick all day, but I'd take the sinus crap over the stomach issues. Can't tell if I'm hungry or nauseous.

I suspect that was more than an auto-reply, I explained too much, I won't read it. I'm trying really hard not to care what strangers who address me (by at least part of) my legal name and don't know my story, have to say about what or how much I choose to share, or how off topic I go. I don't need to answer to you and don't appreciate anything other than a positive response.

I felt weird and kind of bad for turning that down, but there were red flags during that phone call and it would've been hard to make it work even if we could. I think it would've felt weirder accepting it. Maybe I'll get lucky and they'll call back with something in one location or at least not multiple locations in the same day.

This is bullshit. Why do I have to change my answers? You asked the EXACT same questions on this exam. I got a 100 last time. If my answers were perfect why should I change them? There's only so many ways you can rephrase things.

[jamdoughnut]

HELP ME PLEASE I'M NOT OK
Nothing is fine, and it will never be fine. It has never been fine. Nothing that I or anyone else does is going to be able to bring me out of this. I can't do anything, I can't handle anything, I'm broken and I'm falling apart. I try to talk to someone but I just can't, it never comes out right. Please, someone help me. Someone bring me out of this. I don't know what to do. My mind is gone, my strength is gone, and all of the help that I've been getting has gotten me no where. Please help me. Help me.

[jamdoughnut]

Fuck my life.

[Clarent]

Please don't leave me alone

[Calaer]

I really wanted to give him a chance, but he hasn't changed. He is the same judgmental ass hole that he always has been, and I'm not willing to let that in to my life. Not now, not ever again.

[Chai.]

I am not letting you get to me after all the effort I have put in to solve the mess in my life. Leave me the fuck alone!

[Celyn]

I can't focus or concentrate. Feel restless. Like there's so many things I should be doing, but instead I'm doing nothing.

[Kate*]

Neither of us have been to the dentist in years, and I told you months ago when this started that I needed to go and now it's worse. You're paying out of pocket for it and it makes a lot more sense to do them at the same time,otherwise I would just make the appointment and tell you. Do you want to end up like your mother with no teeth left?! Because that's what's going to happen!

Here's what I really wanted to say. First of all that I was 100% right in avoiding that. Second, and because you are a stranger on the Internet who is being a total BITCH and you have ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA what my life has been like. I DON'T OWE YOU SHIT. When will I learn to stay out of the comment section?!

Speaking for your whole "community" again I see. You've already been told that you can only speak for yourself

[jamdoughnut]

Please stop being annoying. I really hope this isn't the real you.

[Chai.]

I need a week long break before finals but with finals beginning on Monday I doubt that is going to be possible. Things are actually settling down and work and otherwise, but I can't fucking study. I can't figure out why I am stressed or scared. It just doesn't make sense anymore. -.-

[Clarent]

Im so anxious it's becoming physically uncomfortable.

And my therapist has the audacity to go "well you need to make moves yourself, go meet people"

Kinda hard to do when everybody fucks off the moment I try to start anything.

Fuck off.

Just
fuck
off.

[Kate*]

Attitudes like yours are the reason stigma exists. And for someone who both accused me of having a "pity party", then said you didn't want one; you sure did a lot of "whining" about how bad you had it as well as how much worse off you were than me. Then proceeded to go off about, and accuse me of doing shit I never did, but how you're better than me because you sucked it up and your illness was physical. That's not strength, it's ignorance; plain and simple. People defended me and you had NO right to attack me like that, nor ANY idea what I've been through due to something you clearly and still don't understand. Don't forget that I didn't attack you back. That was real strength because you also have no idea how badly I wanted to. I was smart enough to delete it, but I still let your words eat away at me. Even though the problem was clearly you and I wasn't the only one you went after. GROW UP!!!

WHY do I feel like I'm going back right now and finishing it?!?! What are you trying to tell me, because clearly I'm not getting it.

I don't regret it, but I can't keep cancelling interviews.

Even if I could "choose" the brain damage I was born with, that I didn't know I had, that ruined my life, there's nothing to do for it. So, I can't choose my reaction either. I'd LOVE to see you "choose" this and do better with it. I bet you couldn't, but don't worry because you'll never have to.

My password got hacked, and I used it for several things; awesome. Nor to mention I still have no fucking clue what I can or want to do with my life. Stupid disability; you ruined everything, yet you make me who I am.

[Calaer]

I hate that you walk around believing that you can have whatever it is that you want. I hate talking about you, or thinking about you, and I honestly wish that you would just shove off. We don't need you in our life. Go away. For the love of all that is holy. Go away.