Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[hocus pocus]

Feel worse after waking up and wish I could clear my mind. Just want to do something self-destructive.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

If I disappeared, no one would care or even notice that I was gone.

[Kate*]

If you're going to submit a petition to the local government get your facts straight, use more professional language, site your sources, and proofread your comments for the wrong forms of words. I knew him and would love to sign it, but I'm not sure I can stand to.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

Such fat and disgusting person. Need to lose weight. FAILURE

[Amandaapandaa]

I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know what to do with myself anymore and I'm just exhausted and can barely find feelings for anything. I'm completely numb and I don't know how to fix it. Maybe I should just fucking cut my arms to shreds and then maybe I'll feel again but I'm so fucking scared of my parents finding out. They won't believe me. They think its all self inflicted. I'm worthless and I feel like I don't belong anywhere and I just need to die. why me god?!

[jamdoughnut]

Dont pretend like you care. What i said was true, you are a horrible person and all you ever did was lie to me. You never were my friend, you were just some bitch who thogght she could use me when it was convenient for you. You knew that i was suicidal, and you did nothing. You abandoned me when i needed you most, and ive always hated you for it. Now i finally tell you how i feel, and you just want to tell me some more bullshit lies about how you didnt know, about how you cared. BULLSHIT. You knew damn well i was dying on the inside and you knew i was alone. I wish i had never met you. I never knew i could hate someone so much. You do know that these scars are partially your fault, right?

and as for you, get out of my life. I dont want you around my birthday, i dont want you at my graduation, i dont want you to see what i become. I dont want you at my house, i dont want you at my wedding, and i sure as hell dont want you around my kids. Get away from me. Your still my brother, and im still going to love you no matter what you do to me or how much you hurt me, but i cant handle being around you anymore. Just stop being an ass. Please, for just one day at least pretend like you love me. If your not going to stop hurting me and dragging me down than just get out of my life.....

[Kate*]

It's official: I'm the poster-child for the rare and unusual. This may serve me incredibly well someday and allow me to do unique and amazing things that only I could do. Or it could drive me to the end of my sanity. Tomorrow may be good, but today sucks.

Some days I'm almost kind of okay with something else, other days I just want to do what everyone has told me to, and most days I just want to let go.

[Ral.]

I'm still not okay. I'm really not okay.

Fuck my family

[Calaer]

I hate how my mother is a piece of crap, and still get's treated like she's golden, and I hate how my big sister is seriously the runner up to the worst mother of the year and yet, everyone treats her as if she's done everything right her entire life. I on the other hand have a home, a stable job, a lovely husband who works his butt of to help provide for this family, and I'm the one who get's treated like the drug dealing, child abusing parent. My only guess is that since I'm different from ALL of them, I must be the bad one.

[daisy_jam]

- I can never be me around my parents. Love is love.
- You did this to me, fuck you!

[daisy_jam]

- I can never be me around my parents. Love is love.
- You did this to me, fuck you!

[MyVisionIsDying]

Wow... no need to get pissy when I complain because we haven't had dinner yet. When did I even shout at you? It was a complaint and the windows are open because it's hot, sure twist the story you fucking bastard. Seriously, lighten up before I light you up and watch you burn...

[Calaer]

I'm so over this itching! I'm glad almost 100% of the burn is one, but now my skin is sore and being all itchy is driving me insane.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

Fat. Fat. Fat. Fat. Fat.

Need to lose weight.

[Ral.]

How to you detach yourself from something that hurts you so much?
How do I stop letting childish things get in the way?
How do I stop hurting?

[Chai.]

I am so sick and tired of myself. I need to socialize tomorrow and I don't know if I can pretend to be happy and fine. I don't want to randomly leave or walk to the side to wipe tears. I don't want people to find out that something is wrong. I am such a weak failure. I don't want to do this anymore. I am so ready to give up.

[Calaer]

It's so frustrating when it rains for days on end. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the rain, but not when it prevents me from going outside and having some fun with Ava. It's 10:32 am right now, and instead of being sunny in the house, it's dark and nasty looking outside. It's so sad!

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

No matter how hard I try, I'll never be good enough. Should just give up and stop trying.

[Calaer]

It's sad that my dad's ex wife is more of a parent to me than my real parents.

[jamdoughnut]

WHY THE FUCK CANT I PLAY THIS PIECE! WHAT THE FUCK!!!
I cant do anything right. Not even the one thing i love the most.

[Calaer]

I don't want to miss you anymore. I don't want to even remember you anymore.

[Ral.]

I don't think I want to be here anymore.

[DiafolEternal]

Fuck you "games workshop" for destroying the the game i have played and loved for about 90% of my life time and follow it up by releasing what can only be considering a huge fucking insult to your customer base. Off to research kings of war and ensure you never get a penny from me.

[Calaer]

You can't just treat me like crap and expect to get something out of it. Screw you.

[Forging Galaxies]

Why did you had to ask about the one I love...?
I can't... blame that, it's just bad enough that I just wanna cuddle her and kiss her so she feels loved. She could be... happy... she could be

[Kate*]

I still want what I know I will never have and I don't know if that will ever go away
I'm torn between not wanting to deal with you in any capacity because I can't face you, and wanting to meet with you one more time because you can make this all okay
They said you would, I would've felt better hearing it from you
That's worthless, I was 5 courses from the better degree and we all know it
I guess I want a miracle and I'm the only person in the world who doesn't get those
Just when I think I'm ready to move on, I crash again
I want you to admit to my face that you screwed me and mean it, but I'll never have that either.

And now I feel better so it probably won't last.

[jamdoughnut]

I wish i didnt still want you. I wish that you wouldve kissed me. I wish i didnt miss you so much...

[daisy_jam]

Why are you still involved with the fucking asshole that ripped the family apart ?

[Forging Galaxies]

Note to self:
How did it come to this...?
No one cares about you...
Isn't it very funny that anyone you get too close to ends up leaving?
So this is your one situation you're not gonna fight your way through, not with how psychologically depressed and drained you are...
You are weak.

[Kate*]

Just because you've been at this longer than I have doesn't make you better than me. Go through what I've been through and then say that to my face. Go ahead, I dare you.

[Calaer]

I hate how freaking itchy I am. Dx

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

Such a worthless and stupid person. FAILURE. Should just give up.

[Calaer]

I hate how restless I feel at night. I just wish I could get some decent sleep.

[Chai.]

You lied. Your stories are so obvious lies. When I compare what you told me earlier to what you tell me now, I wonder which of them is really your life. Because, it is so obviously not the same. Why did you have to lie? Why did you have to ruin everything for me, because of your lying? If you hadn't lied, who knows maybe things would have been better, for me, him, you and everyone else involved. You took him away from me, so far away that there is no hope of him coming back. And after ages, I'd actually trusted someone so much, you ruined it. I should really stop trusting people. It's so annoying to be lied to. I don't want to be the unwanted friend. I'd rather be alone. I am fed up and sick of your lies and your nonsense. So stop trying to talk to me, stop trying to push yourself into my life, again. I won't let that happen. And if need be, I will be rude, because I can't bear to be lied to. I don't care if my being rude is going to hurt you, since you never cared about my feeling when you lied, I am going to stop caring for yours. For how long are people going to expect me to be nice to them, when they don't give two fucks about my feelings? I am not a robot, you know. I have feelings. And now that my feelings have been hurt and played with for so long, by people like you, I am not going to keep quiet anymore. I am going to play along. You hurt me, I hurt you. To put it in your words, 'this is life. If someone gives us shit, we give them shit in return.' Now, how's that for a response? -.-

[Lilyofthewest]

It's not that I disagree with you about how it's maybe just a little bit fucked up that it's socially acceptable for us to think we're ugly, but we're seen as vain when we think we're pretty. It's just that, well, it's easy for you to say stuff like "everybody should think they're pretty" because you are pretty. See, prettiness is completely relative to what everybody else thinks of us. If you asked a number of people whether or not they'd consider you attractive, I'd bet my house on a large majority of them saying yes, they would consider you attractive. (And there's evidence to back that up, a lot of people we know have been attracted to you.)

But, you see, it's not like that for many of us. A large majority of people wouldn't find me pretty, which means I'm not pretty. Hence, me thinking I'm pretty would do nothing for me. I'd just be very, very incorrect. From where you stand, it's impossible for you to understand how and why a person may feel like that. You don't need to be reminded to feel beautiful, because you get indirectly reminded of that daily by the people who are attracted to you. I will never have that. Fair fucks to you, you've come from a place where you didn't have the confidence you have now. Like I'm generally not a jealous person, but I will admit that I envy you for your high self-esteem and bulletproof confidence (fake or real). Not everyone can bounce back from that place of low confidence though. I won't ever think I'm pretty, because I'm not pretty and I'm not deluded enough to think believing I'm pretty when I'm not is in any way beneficial. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but, as much as you're trying to help, reading what you had to say just made me feel worse.

tl;dr - You're doing the wrong thing for the right reasons. People who are insecure and feel ugly don't always want to be lectured on self-love, especially not by someone like you. It's easy for you to love yourself because other people love you. Your message is admirable (and, as I've said, I agree with a decent amount of it), but it only really applies to people in the same boat as you, people who are lucky enough to be beautiful, loveable, etc. And I'm just not one of those people, nor am I ever going to be. I'm always going to be a fucked up, ugly, unloveable piece of shit who nobody wants around and the sooner I cease to exist the better.

[Calaer]

My BABY sister had a pregnancy scare. Why on earth is this even a reality? Her mother needs to step the heck up. This is unreal.

[Forging Galaxies]

To hell with living...

I tire of even trying to fight, what for...?

[Amandaapandaa]

I don't want these fucking stupid self harm urges. I want to stop existing and stop feeling things that aren't "normal" compared to my family and the people that surround me. What's so bloody wrong with not wanting that fucking shit shoved at me and forced on me when I know I'm just going to goddamn hell anyway? At least allow me to live the way I want before I kill myself for fuck sake

[Kate*]

Got my laptop back from the "laptop hospital" after mom spent $250 on it 18 days ago with a new hard drive, opened IE for 2 minutes and then spent the last 2.5 hours removing 145 infected and potentially unwanted files. THAT was fun

The reality is that I will probably never see you again and you will never know what you have done to me which means I won't be the last person it gets done to and the thought of that makes me SICK. If it didn't mean starting over I'd be more likely to jump on that. I know what I'm capable of with NO pressure when I'm treated like a human being. That should be enough, but it's not because of everything you took from me (years worth of time, tens of thousands of dollars that I'll have to pay back, my self-esteem, self-efficacy, and self-worth) You've made me afraid to deal with people. I'm not just going to get that back and you'll never know it's gone. That's aside from the fact that I will never have my dream job.