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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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  (#2441 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 15th 2015, 07:11 PM
You're the one that's at fucking fault, not me.



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Re: Screaming thread. - June 15th 2015, 08:01 PM
You're the ones who said I have options, and he's the only one who didn't insult me. I would love to sit you all down, present you all the information I have about this and make you tell me what options I really have. Maybe then you'll realize I really don't have any. Too bad it'll never happen. I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and beat my head against the wall. Even if I accept that it never would've happened (and I'm not sure I have) I have NO IDEA what I'm supposed to do now or what I'm even capable of (pretty much nothing, stupid brain damage). That on top of everything that's come of this, I just can't handle it and if I ever admit that to you all you'll do is think that your profession dodged a serious bullet.

I think it's officially time to find professional help. I know there's no "normal" because this never happens, but I really don't think flashbacks are a good thing. Too bad therapy isn't an option unless I go back for a useless degree.

One thing I hate about it is that I still have a "counselor brain" but I'll never be able to use it for it's intended purpose.

I'm jealous, I should be getting mine about now too, but I never will. I should be mature enough to handle this, but I'm not yet. Until I know what I'm doing instead that I want just as bad I will be jealous and I will want to give up.

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Re: Screaming thread. - June 16th 2015, 02:40 PM
I'm frustrated at how people can be so idiotic. It's annoying sometimes. I mean, it's time to grow up and to stop acting like we are in high school bro.

"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 16th 2015, 09:39 PM
I ate a lot today and im so fucking angry at myself
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 21st 2015, 12:40 AM
I hate how fucking fat I am

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Re: Screaming thread. - June 21st 2015, 04:35 PM
I hate the fact that Jordan has to work on father's day.

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Re: Screaming thread. - June 21st 2015, 08:23 PM
I hate being turned into a criminal by the actions of one of my parents
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 22nd 2015, 01:22 PM
I took some medicine to help me sleep last night around 9, and sure enough about 10:30-11:00 it worked. Well I slept well, didn't toss and turn as much (even though I still tossed and bit) but then I woke up super early, and I wasn't able to get back to sleep. It is very frustrating.

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Re: Screaming thread. - June 22nd 2015, 06:14 PM
I want to kill myself. This is living hell and I can't take it much longer. How much worse could death possibly be?



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Re: Screaming thread. - June 23rd 2015, 03:56 AM
I've narrowed it down from 4 degrees to 2, but SO much would have to work out for one of them to be possible that it might not happen even if it is the better option. School-wise one makes more sense, but career-wise the second one is probably the better option. There's an information session for it, but I'm afraid to even bring it up to anybody out of fear of being told no/shot down.

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Re: Screaming thread. - June 23rd 2015, 05:22 AM
Holy hell, my sleeping patterns are so fucked up more than ever.
If my predictions are right, I'm going to sleep at 7pm like a good little kid. Perfect.
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 23rd 2015, 03:30 PM
I just don't want my Mom to die.

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Re: Screaming thread. - June 23rd 2015, 10:14 PM
There are many people in the world who I want to drop dead, my fucking idiotic neighbor is one of them...



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Re: Screaming thread. - June 24th 2015, 01:35 AM
I feel so fucking ill and I want cuddles but Alex and Finn are asleep.

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RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 24th 2015, 01:38 AM
Cut the sappiness. I get the point and I still don't care.
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 24th 2015, 05:03 AM
Jordan is leaving today rather than tomorrow for his convention, and I'm very upset about it. I hate it when he goes on these things, cause he stays gone for a week at a time, and Ava and I truly miss him.

"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 24th 2015, 05:37 AM
I don't know if I can face everything head on.



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Re: Screaming thread. - June 24th 2015, 01:09 PM
I'm really frustrated that Jordan is leaving before he even get's off work. Thankfully he is going to come by on lunch and get his things and say goodbye to Ava and I. It's going to be a slow week.

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Re: Screaming thread. - June 24th 2015, 05:39 PM
Im sorry
Im sorry for everything, I'm sorry for ever appearing in your life

Who dares - wins.
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 25th 2015, 01:43 AM
You have NO IDEA how badly I want to cut you out of my life, but I'm related to you so it's IMPOSSIBLE. If you're going to act like this then we're doing what we want regardless of how much you complain. I can't wait until we can get our lives back.

Same to you, at least until our phone "conversations" consist of more than you ripping me apart to the point that I become a danger to myself. I'd tell you that, but it would only make things worse, if you heard me at all.

Shot down as I expected. You can’t pressure me to find something new and then shoot down the only idea I bring to you. Even if the other one makes better sense now, if it’s not worth anything then there’s no point. I need to know what I can do with this other option, I’m loving the idea, and it looks better than what they wanted, but I’d have to start completely over so I have to know what I can use it for.
You completely FUCKING SCREWED ME and you know it. I need you to acknowledge that, but you never will.

So much for not screwed. I know you didn’t have a choice, but I think the fact that you supposedly care is complete crap. I’m not sure you ever did (if you did I doubt you would’ve let them get away with treating me like that) and now you don’t have to so you don’t. End of story
.
If you’re going to throw me out and end my program you could at least remove it from my file so it stops calling it my “current program” so I don’t have to see it everywhere every time I check my email! You’re making this harder than it has to be and I’m already ready to kill myself over it. I shouldn’t have to deal with this and my guess is if I reapply there will be questions about what the hell happened and I don’t need to deal with those because somebody forgot to flip a switch.

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Re: Screaming thread. - June 27th 2015, 06:41 AM
So after treating me and my father like garbage and vilifying us to everyone, now you want us to help you? No way. These debt problems are YOUR problems and my father payed you back what he owes you so leave us alone.
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 27th 2015, 09:44 AM
Battle onward, forward into the storm we go...

Unto the dawn comes and purges the darkness out...
For the heat of the battle is strong and my courage is melted...

*Sighs*
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 27th 2015, 01:30 PM
I have the worst sunburn in the world, and Ava doesn't understand so she keeps running up and smacking me and throwing things at me. I know I can't really get mad at her because she is so little and she truly doesn't understand, but Lord have mercy. I was sitting in the living room with her and she thew a basketball at me and it hit me in the arm. It brought tears to my eyes. It was awful.

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Re: Screaming thread. - June 27th 2015, 02:06 PM
And.. I get left out again.. You're all so nice
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 27th 2015, 03:25 PM
I hate how my 'Mother' thinks she can treat me like crap. I'm so tired of it! I'm an adult now, and I have a choice not to stand around and be abused by you!

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Re: Screaming thread. - June 27th 2015, 10:22 PM
I have no energy. I don't know how I'm going to pay the bills at the end of the month
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 28th 2015, 01:26 AM
I really do hate this sunburn. I can't get comfortable, and I feel so hot all the time, and it makes everything I do so slow.

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Re: Screaming thread. - June 28th 2015, 01:32 AM
AAARGH I'm so awkward!
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 28th 2015, 05:22 AM
They were WRONG she is a spoiled BRAT at the very least and it was 5 YEARS AGO Everyone just grow the fuck up and GET OVER IT already you are ADULTS who are acting like CHILDREN and I've had more than ENOUGH

I just wanted to scream STOP EATING THE FUCKING FROSTING and slap your hand away. You'd already had 2 pieces and you know you shouldn't be eating that stuff and that door was not something you needed to yell at me about 20 seconds after we got in the damn door and then you didn't yell at her for leaving it open after that. SERIOUSLY!?

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Re: Screaming thread. - June 28th 2015, 10:28 AM
I am a shitty person. I'm just too much of a coward...
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 28th 2015, 12:49 PM
This sunburn keeps getting worse and now my chest is really itchy and It's driving me insane!

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Re: Screaming thread. - June 29th 2015, 10:48 AM
Why did I let it end like that? I should of fought for us...
What have I done...? I don't want it to end... why did I let it happen?

My god...
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 29th 2015, 03:33 PM
Just because I am not complaining, does not mean I am not in pain. That wasn't just a fall, it was a nasty fall. Stop being an insensitive moron and if you want to continue being one, get off my face. I have a lot more things to do than deal with your crap.
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 29th 2015, 07:25 PM
Should I even be here? Everything I try to do just pushes me closer to the edge. I need somebody now more than I've needed someone before. PLEASE JUST HELP ME.

PM/VM Me if you need any sort of help, I welcome ANYONE who wants to talk.
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 30th 2015, 02:42 PM
I hate how long it's taking for this to heal. I knew I should have been even more careful than I was, but the healing time for this is just so slow.

"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud
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Chaotic mind...
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 30th 2015, 03:30 PM
I truly have nothing else to live for...

I'm tired of watching... the suffering around me, it feels... overpowering. Like it gets in your soul and you just want it all to stop but the only way to stop is to stop the suffering of the others but I can't because I'm powerless to stop it.

If I can't help... then what am I doing alive?
I just know sh-something awful will happen to... her... people i know... it always does... there's no happy ending for anyone. They all just die or get abused or some shit sooner or later.

Can't stop it... I can't, but I must... but I can't... I am insanely disturbed by all the pain I've come to know in my life, and the overwhelming pain you got to witness...
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Outside, huh?
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 30th 2015, 09:25 PM
According to that logic I'm supposed to be driven to the edge until I kill myself. Thanks for nothing

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Re: Screaming thread. - June 30th 2015, 10:24 PM
I fucking hate this life
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 30th 2015, 10:25 PM
I feel fat and gross

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
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'ello.
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Re: Screaming thread. - June 30th 2015, 11:56 PM
I am even worth helping any more? Am I even worth anything to you anymore? Where has the old you gone.

PM/VM Me if you need any sort of help, I welcome ANYONE who wants to talk.
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