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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"
You're the ones who said I have options, and he's the only one who didn't insult me. I would love to sit you all down, present you all the information I have about this and make you tell me what options I really have. Maybe then you'll realize I really don't have any. Too bad it'll never happen. I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and beat my head against the wall. Even if I accept that it never would've happened (and I'm not sure I have) I have NO IDEA what I'm supposed to do now or what I'm even capable of (pretty much nothing, stupid brain damage). That on top of everything that's come of this, I just can't handle it and if I ever admit that to you all you'll do is think that your profession dodged a serious bullet.
I think it's officially time to find professional help. I know there's no "normal" because this never happens, but I really don't think flashbacks are a good thing. Too bad therapy isn't an option unless I go back for a useless degree.
One thing I hate about it is that I still have a "counselor brain" but I'll never be able to use it for it's intended purpose.
I'm jealous, I should be getting mine about now too, but I never will. I should be mature enough to handle this, but I'm not yet. Until I know what I'm doing instead that I want just as bad I will be jealous and I will want to give up.
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
I'm frustrated at how people can be so idiotic. It's annoying sometimes. I mean, it's time to grow up and to stop acting like we are in high school bro.
"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!
Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
I took some medicine to help me sleep last night around 9, and sure enough about 10:30-11:00 it worked. Well I slept well, didn't toss and turn as much (even though I still tossed and bit) but then I woke up super early, and I wasn't able to get back to sleep. It is very frustrating.
"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud
I've narrowed it down from 4 degrees to 2, but SO much would have to work out for one of them to be possible that it might not happen even if it is the better option. School-wise one makes more sense, but career-wise the second one is probably the better option. There's an information session for it, but I'm afraid to even bring it up to anybody out of fear of being told no/shot down.
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
Holy hell, my sleeping patterns are so fucked up more than ever.
If my predictions are right, I'm going to sleep at 7pm like a good little kid. Perfect.
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!
Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
Jordan is leaving today rather than tomorrow for his convention, and I'm very upset about it. I hate it when he goes on these things, cause he stays gone for a week at a time, and Ava and I truly miss him.
"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud
I'm really frustrated that Jordan is leaving before he even get's off work. Thankfully he is going to come by on lunch and get his things and say goodbye to Ava and I. It's going to be a slow week.
"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud
You have NO IDEA how badly I want to cut you out of my life, but I'm related to you so it's IMPOSSIBLE. If you're going to act like this then we're doing what we want regardless of how much you complain. I can't wait until we can get our lives back.
Same to you, at least until our phone "conversations" consist of more than you ripping me apart to the point that I become a danger to myself. I'd tell you that, but it would only make things worse, if you heard me at all.
Shot down as I expected. You can’t pressure me to find something new and then shoot down the only idea I bring to you. Even if the other one makes better sense now, if it’s not worth anything then there’s no point. I need to know what I can do with this other option, I’m loving the idea, and it looks better than what they wanted, but I’d have to start completely over so I have to know what I can use it for.
You completely FUCKING SCREWED ME and you know it. I need you to acknowledge that, but you never will.
So much for not screwed. I know you didn’t have a choice, but I think the fact that you supposedly care is complete crap. I’m not sure you ever did (if you did I doubt you would’ve let them get away with treating me like that) and now you don’t have to so you don’t. End of story
.
If you’re going to throw me out and end my program you could at least remove it from my file so it stops calling it my “current program” so I don’t have to see it everywhere every time I check my email! You’re making this harder than it has to be and I’m already ready to kill myself over it. I shouldn’t have to deal with this and my guess is if I reapply there will be questions about what the hell happened and I don’t need to deal with those because somebody forgot to flip a switch.
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
So after treating me and my father like garbage and vilifying us to everyone, now you want us to help you? No way. These debt problems are YOUR problems and my father payed you back what he owes you so leave us alone.
I have the worst sunburn in the world, and Ava doesn't understand so she keeps running up and smacking me and throwing things at me. I know I can't really get mad at her because she is so little and she truly doesn't understand, but Lord have mercy. I was sitting in the living room with her and she thew a basketball at me and it hit me in the arm. It brought tears to my eyes. It was awful.
"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud
I hate how my 'Mother' thinks she can treat me like crap. I'm so tired of it! I'm an adult now, and I have a choice not to stand around and be abused by you!
"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud
They were WRONG she is a spoiled BRAT at the very least and it was 5 YEARS AGO Everyone just grow the fuck up and GET OVER IT already you are ADULTS who are acting like CHILDREN and I've had more than ENOUGH
I just wanted to scream STOP EATING THE FUCKING FROSTING and slap your hand away. You'd already had 2 pieces and you know you shouldn't be eating that stuff and that door was not something you needed to yell at me about 20 seconds after we got in the damn door and then you didn't yell at her for leaving it open after that. SERIOUSLY!?
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
Just because I am not complaining, does not mean I am not in pain. That wasn't just a fall, it was a nasty fall. Stop being an insensitive moron and if you want to continue being one, get off my face. I have a lot more things to do than deal with your crap.
Should I even be here? Everything I try to do just pushes me closer to the edge. I need somebody now more than I've needed someone before. PLEASE JUST HELP ME.
PM/VM Me if you need any sort of help, I welcome ANYONE who wants to talk.
I'm tired of watching... the suffering around me, it feels... overpowering. Like it gets in your soul and you just want it all to stop but the only way to stop is to stop the suffering of the others but I can't because I'm powerless to stop it.
If I can't help... then what am I doing alive?
I just know sh-something awful will happen to... her... people i know... it always does... there's no happy ending for anyone. They all just die or get abused or some shit sooner or later.
Can't stop it... I can't, but I must... but I can't... I am insanely disturbed by all the pain I've come to know in my life, and the overwhelming pain you got to witness...