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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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Re: Screaming thread. - March 16th 2015, 05:55 AM
- No one is born perfect. Your son was no where near perfect. He treated me like shit. He broke me down everyday. He almost killed me 4 times. I'm so glad that he isn't alive anymore, but yes I know, I'm the one to blame, I took your precious son away. I deserve to die, I deserve to be locked up in a room.

- Why do you have to black mail me everyday. WHY?!
- Stop making me feel shitty, don't you think I feel shitty enough already?

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Re: Screaming thread. - March 16th 2015, 06:30 AM
Here we go again, only this time I can't get through. I want this to go away, but 14 years of it tells me that it's not going anywhere. I need one of them and I can't have either. So close to done, all I need is a way out. Bonus, I've overused that service now so even that's not an option anymore.

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Re: Screaming thread. - March 16th 2015, 12:12 PM
Do you realize I am a freaking human being? Three papers in one day is next to impossible. I am not doing it... well I have to.
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Re: Screaming thread. - March 16th 2015, 08:10 PM
You will be 88 years old in 3 months, you throw tantrums like a fucking toddler, and then you wonder why no one wants to spend their weekends with you?! Are you fucking SERIOUS. GROW UP!

Spent the day suicidal again only to be thinking about my next masters degree now. THIS SUCKS

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Re: Screaming thread. - March 17th 2015, 10:47 PM
I seen you today. You tried to hide your face but i seen you.
I don't hate you for what you did. I'm not really sure I hate you at all anymore. I loth you for what you did.
to me engagement is just as important and just as permanent as marrige. It's marriage practise. And you broke that. I hate myself for taking you back the first time this happened. I hate myself for saying yes on that beech when you proposed. I hate myself for finally feeling that we were etched in stone and could be together forever and start our family. But we didn't make a family. All that became of us is a shattered pile of rubble that was ment to be us written in stone forever. You broke something beautiful. And for that I loth you.

You know what, i hate that i still think about you most of all. Ill never take you back, what is done has shattered us forever. So why are you still running around my head?
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Re: Screaming thread. - March 18th 2015, 12:45 AM
I can't take it anymore.....



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Re: Screaming thread. - March 19th 2015, 10:16 AM
please leave me alone. ive just woken up. im in a shit mood please stop texting me please . just leave me alone. please. i cant deal with you right now. i just cant. i need you to just leave me alone. my head hurts and i want to cry. please just leave me alone before i like completely break down. this is what youve done to me. i cant cope with your little dramas like every day please just fucking leave me alone.

'There will be bad days, there will be good days, there will be really bad days, and really good days, and days that are not bad or good but just simply suck, but either way you got through it and you are here today and that is all that really matters''
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Re: Screaming thread. - March 20th 2015, 11:10 AM
YOU

(That's safer than typing what I feel right now.
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Re: Screaming thread. - March 20th 2015, 04:00 PM
Thank you dad for rimindig me that nobody cares about me..

I know what's like to be afraid of your own minds - Spencer Reid.
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Re: Screaming thread. - March 20th 2015, 04:17 PM
just fuck this day.

im not better. not in a slightest.

Who dares - wins.
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Re: Screaming thread. - March 20th 2015, 11:59 PM
My eyes are so heavy, but I napped earlier so I can't actually sleep.


Take as long as you need.
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Re: Screaming thread. - March 21st 2015, 12:22 AM
I FUCKING HATE THIS!!!

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Re: Screaming thread. - March 21st 2015, 10:40 AM
Don't you dare tell me to calm down, you've not experience true fear. Please don't tell me that

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Re: Screaming thread. - March 21st 2015, 05:28 PM
I hate having to poke my finger to check my glucose levels. It makes my fingers sore.

"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud
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Re: Screaming thread. - March 22nd 2015, 05:59 AM
I found a degree that would be the perfect combination of what I want. It is geographically and practically IMPOSSIBLE I hate my life. I may be able to make this other one work, but I don't know.

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Re: Screaming thread. - March 22nd 2015, 11:14 PM
Rare and potentially pretty triggering rant, sorry!

I am all for acceptance and understanding people, but it goes too far when pictures are posted onto social networking sites of your possible self harm. I don't care whether you hurt yourself or you didn't, or whether it was for attention or because it's a genuine problem - do not post it online. It's not cute or artistic, it's triggering and it's insensitive. Your family and friends will worry when they see that and people who havent seen you since you were 11 (me.) will worry too. I can't stand it. I see it online all the time - people think it makes them special because they post these pictures but it doesnt. Even if thats not the reason for posting them, even if it's a personal reason, just don't. It's really unpleasant and really unsettling for everyone. It's so public and it's just not fair.

Rant over.

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Re: Screaming thread. - March 23rd 2015, 10:47 AM
You are so fake. I don't know why I trusted you and continued being friends after I caught your first few lies. Your lies just seem to be multiplying by the minute.
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Re: Screaming thread. - March 23rd 2015, 10:50 PM
You don't get to pull this shit on me. You're the one who decided that you don't want to hang out tomorrow unless we can spend six hours together to "make it worthwhile." It frustrates me that you can't just enjoy my company for a meal; you don't want to see me unless we can spend the whole day together. That's not why I'm mad, though. I'm mad that you cancel on tomorrow, then ask if I have free time today, which I don't because, you know, I have a life. Then you go and act like I'm missing out on you by saying "you know, it's going to be much harder to hang out with my new schedule." No, I am not going to play this game. I'm not going to tolerate some asshole who acts like it's my fault we aren't hanging out when its not. So when you text me in a week saying "I miss you," tough shit. You can deal. I don't give a fuck.

I swear, I don't know why I even bother with you. You have brought me more negativity than positivity. Maybe I need someone to bop me on the head and bring me to my senses.
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Re: Screaming thread. - March 24th 2015, 03:07 AM
I can't believe I am related to someone like you. How you are so willing to hold everyone's mistakes against them while never having the guts to fess up to your own? You are a miserable human being. I have apologized for the part I played, all the while knowing that you will never see any fault in yours. You are not the only one wronged here. I guess you've just proven that you're completely incapable of thinking about anyone but yourself. I'm trying not to be angry with you and to feel sorry for you instead. It must be hard to live with that much hate in your heart, and it will be hard to deal when you finally realize you're not the perfect person you always thought you were. You are, in fact, kind of a terrible one. I hope that fact haunts you long after I am gone from your miserable life.

I really fucking hate you.

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Re: Screaming thread. - March 24th 2015, 06:39 AM
I was doing amazingly well with this for the last couple days, and now I'm back to being pissed off/depressed about what I know I will never have. Maybe I was meant to have a bigger impact or go on to bigger and better things; or maybe this is just going to ruin my life, end of story. Grieving process still? This sucks.

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Re: Screaming thread. - March 25th 2015, 01:10 AM
There's going to be a day where I will beat some fucking sense into you until you start screaming with realization.
I am disgusted to have you as a stepdad.



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Re: Screaming thread. - March 25th 2015, 03:51 AM
fuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfu ckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuck thatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckth atfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthat fuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfu ckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuck thatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckth atfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthat fuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfu ckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuck thatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckth atfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthat fuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfu ckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuckthatfuck that

so frustrateddd

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Re: Screaming thread. - March 25th 2015, 03:52 AM
I... I am trying to hold it together before I am suicidal. I am trying to hold it fucking together...

I am trying...
I am trying...
I am trying...

I am trying...
I am trying...
I am trying...

I am trying...
I am trying...
I am trying...
I am trying...
I am trying...
I am trying...
I am trying...
I am trying...
I am trying...
I can't...
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Re: Screaming thread. - March 26th 2015, 04:02 AM
I'm continuing to believe that when you said this wouldn't ruin my life, YOU LIED the careers I was looking into as plan B are paired with what I would've had and the employment potential is apparently worse. I really can't do this anymore. I'm not going to let that one thing get to me, but that on top of everything else will likely prove too much.

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Re: Screaming thread. - March 27th 2015, 01:31 AM
Back on my original dosage of meds I go
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Re: Screaming thread. - March 27th 2015, 04:39 AM
Today I went all the way to campus, stared at my student account and didn't see my test available. I sent two messages to the professor only to realize after I left school that I'd been staring at the link the entire time. Now I have to go back tomorrow.
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Re: Screaming thread. - March 27th 2015, 10:29 AM
I'm just not happy anymore. It's been long 4 days. Everything is just going really slow. Slowest so far. I knew it would come to this and I knew I'd get depressed again, as much as I knew 'it's only temporary' but it's not enough to prevent my feelings. I'm mentally tired and overwhelmed with this torture. On top of everything, I'm sick. 2 weeks is too long. I've never been sick for so long in my life. Plus it narrows my list of activities. Can't do everything I might enjoy and all that.


I can't stop.

I moved back while
my head was turned.

Upside down
closer to the end.

Afraid of the dark
within future times.

I'm drowning there,
my final chase.
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Re: Screaming thread. - March 27th 2015, 02:24 PM
I don't like it that you tell me all your problems. I'm only fifteen and I feel like when you tell me how bad your marriage is or that my dad is threatening to quit his job that I have to say something to make it better. And I can't. This causes me so much stress, even if you're not expecting something from me. I wish I could tell you this without you getting offended or upset and shouting at me.

War doesn't determine who is right, only who is left.
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Re: Screaming thread. - March 29th 2015, 09:59 PM
I think you're an asshole who pretends to be a nice guy. I think you want sex from me and by only wanting to hang out if we can spend all day together you're hoping you'll get it. That's your game, right? You don't want to see me for dinner, but if you can get me at your place for six hours maybe I'll want to do you. Newsflash: you ruined all chances of that. I don't like who I am around you. I don't like that I violate my own boundaries when we're together. I don't think it's healthy to be friends with someone just because I don't want to be alone, either. I''ll take loneliness over hanging out with a guy who has ulterior motives and who makes me feel bad about myself.
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Re: Screaming thread. - March 31st 2015, 04:29 PM
I hate how I can wake up one minute and be fine, then be totally depressed the next. It's annoying and confusing and frustrating. I just want one day to go as planned.

"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud
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Re: Screaming thread. - April 2nd 2015, 07:55 PM
I have bad cramps.

If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


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Re: Screaming thread. - April 2nd 2015, 11:04 PM
My eczema is making me want to tear my own skin off.

Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acid stains you
Drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live.


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Re: Screaming thread. - April 3rd 2015, 03:08 PM
turned off my facebook chat because i'm so sick of talking to people. everyone just wants to talk about pointless crap and stuff i don't even like. i seriously want to be left alone.
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Re: Screaming thread. - April 5th 2015, 03:01 AM
I hate it when people let you down. I mean if you didn't want freaking do it, you didn't fucking have to. Just give me a heads up next time you prick.

"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud
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Re: Screaming thread. - April 7th 2015, 05:03 AM
If I go for this degree, not only will it put me back on an undergrad schedule, it will make scheduling nightmarish

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Re: Screaming thread. - April 7th 2015, 06:55 AM
You are a man with two grown up children and you still except my dad to stand in for you every time just to hide your mistakes and foolishness. Which grown man expects his younger brother to do it. You just could have changed plans and everything would have been alright. She is your mother as well, you need to do your share, mister!
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Re: Screaming thread. - April 7th 2015, 09:17 AM
What happened to me supposedly NEVER happens to anybody. I was actually told "We've never had a student like you before" so you have absolutely NO FUCKING IDEA what I'm going through and if you don't think I already FUCKING know I need a G**DAMN job or think that what you're doing will help, you are incredibly ignorant.

Don't you DARE accuse me of not trying hard enough or interrogate me about WHAT specific things I've applied for, what's next are you going to start calling places long distance to ask if they've seen me?! I have a degree that was PERFECT for the career I got thrown out of and USELESS for anything else. And no, they didn't throw me out because I screwed up, they did it because I'm screwed up, there's a difference.

VOLUNTEER NO SHIT sherlock, I've volunteered for years, I quit when the program told me I was the one in a million person who couldn't do the job for real because my brain is broken.

"I got all my jobs from my friends" or relatives HOW MANY HAVE YOU ASKED?! I can't even... I don't talk to my relatives, we hate each other and newsflash I LOST ALL MY FRIENDS when this fell apart, or I'm not qualified for the jobs the few friends I still have could help me get.

FACE IT ASSHOLE I will NEVER be good enough for you no matter what I do and you want me to be PERFECT. I will not apologize for my inability to be anything other than human. Before you come after me so damn hard, you might want to take a good long look in the mirror.

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Last edited by Kate*; April 8th 2015 at 02:04 AM.
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Re: Screaming thread. - April 7th 2015, 01:03 PM
I don't want to go to my internship!!'
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Re: Screaming thread. - April 7th 2015, 01:32 PM
Of course. Sigh.
And since when you care so much about what people say...?
Fml.

Who dares - wins.
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Re: Screaming thread. - April 7th 2015, 01:38 PM
I only got two hours of sleep and I'm exhausted.

If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
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