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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"
Re: Screaming thread. -
February 21st 2015, 11:24 PM
Oh my god, would you answer my damn email already? I know you had to have seen it by now. I don't need a novel in response, I don't even need a paragraph. Literally all I need is "I believe in you. I know you can make it through these next two weeks. Take care of yourself for me, and I will be back before you know it." That's it. That's all I need. Is that so hard to write? Does the thirty seconds it takes to write those couple of sentences take away THAT much from your busy schedule? I really put myself on the line in that message. The least you can do is say SOMETHING. I'll even take "I don't have the time to talk about this right now, but I will get back to you soon." Just...something!
ARGH you really frustrate me sometimes! It sucks to love you so damn much. I want to call you an asshole, and sometimes I do, but I know that's a lie.
Re: Screaming thread. -
February 24th 2015, 04:16 AM
I asked one thing of you. ONE. THING. And you didn't fucking do it. You're an asshole, you know that? Eat shit and go fuck yourself. I don't give a goddamn if we talk in the next couple weeks.
Re: Screaming thread. -
February 28th 2015, 06:13 PM
I hate how I cry over LOTR and The Hobbit movies. I mean I've been invested this these stories since I was a kid, but I hate it when people make fun of me because I get emotional when someone I really love dies. I know it's just a story, but It's MY story. :c
"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud
Re: Screaming thread. -
February 28th 2015, 07:06 PM
YOU THINK EVERYBODY FUCKING MUMBLES THAT IS NOT MY GOD DAMN FAULT! If you had taken care of this shIt on time like you were supposed to I wouldn't have to go 2 months without my FUCKING MEDICATIONS
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
Re: Screaming thread. -
February 28th 2015, 09:20 PM
I'm tired of three things.
People assuming that because I fuck around that I can't possibly be anything other than completely fine and dandy.
People disregarding or simply not caring about how I'm feeling despite bending over fucking backwards to help them through hard times.
Feeling like the odd man out in literally any context.
Self pity will not rescue you.
Sometimes we have to save our own lives,
not because no one else cares, but because no one else can.
Life for you has been less than kind
So take a number, stand in line
We've all been sorry, we've all been hurt
But how we survive is what makes us who we are.
Dreamed up the maps, give me the charcoal and the paper
We invent paths they cannot see, and they're too scared to walk
Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
Can't remember the last time I cried in the shower and I don't even know why it happened. All I know is I feel like crap. It's probably still from that and the fact that I miss them like crazy, even if they did say stuff they shouldn't have. I would love one more meeting with you, but you're where you need to be, being dad.
Now I have to call these people tomorrow so I can FINALLY refill my medications and then I'll worry about fixing and figuring out the rest of it.
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
Money, money, money. Sure. For you it's all you give a damn about. If you want a war, then, by all means, you will have it. I'm not going to let you walk over me and my mom anymore.
So stressed and tired! It's just too hard to handle everything right now. I need to study, I need to concentrate....but my mind goes 'lol nope, I won't let you.' This is just so tough! Can I just go back to kindergarten?
Stupid anxiety kept me from calling to take care of this, now I have to do it tomorrow. Once I have the income, I'm going on Blue Cross, getting meds authorized ONCE and staying on it until I qualify for Medicare. This is ridiculous!
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
I fucking fail at everything!!!!! I fail at being who I wanna be, being a perfect girlfriend for someone who deserves it, my music lessons and school. I'm never gonna be able to fix things. I fail so badly my depression cripples me every day and I have to fake happiness.
'I have this strange feeling that I'm not myself anymore...'
Look, I'm sorry you perceive I'm not "present" with you. I was being present until you started saying that you didn't think I was, and I don't like to be told what I am or am not doing, so yeah, that got on my nerves. And I'm sorry I'm not as upset as you think I should be about what I told you. I'm sorry my answer wasn't "good enough" for you, but that's the answer I have, alright? This is exactly why I don't want to tell you things. You read so much into them.
I know you said this wouldn't ruin my life and that I had options, but that on top of this is SERIOUSLY making me doubt you. I swear I will go through with that some day; I can just feel it.
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
You called by accident and spent the call doing that, yet you wonder why I don't call you on purpose. You have NO IDEA what I'm dealing with and based on how you are, you never will.
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow... oh, wait, this is Gotham
Posts: 61
Points: 6,148, Level: 11
Join Date: January 28th 2015
Re: Screaming thread. -
March 6th 2015, 06:06 AM
I don't understand. There is always someone fucking with me. At school. At home. In my neighborhood. I am just so angry. I can't punch all those douchebags in the face or else my therapist will tell my psychiatrist that I need to be put on meds or worse... get sent to the "funny farm".
I met a guy that thinks that I am the most amazing person on Earth. His love makes me feel so guilty. I don't deserve him. He's perfect and I'm barely getting through a day without fucking up.
I'm a failure. I even failed at committing suicide 3 times.
Yet, at the same time a find a reason to live... and 5 minutes later want to end it all again.
For the "fat" kids, the geeks, and the "ugly" ones. For the kids with braces or wear taped-together glasses, there is but one hero..... I. Am. That. Hero.
~BatEgypt~
I really wish you hadn't told me that. You KNOW how I feel about things like that. Luckily this time I'm able to let it go, but in the future, can we PLEASE remember not to do that? Thank you.
There are professionals in the field who have said and done things that I would NEVER do, yet I'm the one you threw out. Not to mention you never really gave me a good reason. Ridiculous!
Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
Really, so you think I am at fault. Do you even realize how freaking difficult life is right now. Just because I tell you I am alright, doesn't mean I really am. I know you keep saying you are there for me, but just saying that isn't enough. Have you ever really been there for me? You don't even freaking realize if something is wrong. You know I am not that sort to come cry my woes to you unless you ask me. So, since you did not ask I never told, you can't blame me for not telling you what happened. Stop fucking screaming at me.
Too tired to get triggered. I just don't know what to do anymore. All I want is help to not get triggered. And it's stupid because I know when I get triggered, it's because I don't feel 'good enough' for you