Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Hiraeth.]

Am tired of this lousy weather.

[Mindfulness.]

I'm really hoping things can get better.

[Hiraeth.]

I woke up this morning thinking it was Monday but nope, it's Sunday.

[Hiraeth.]

Why do women have to tear each other down? Whatever happened to solidarity?

[Kate*]

I FINALLY got it all sorted out, so OF COURSE you would CHANGE yours! I'm asking nicely for you to put mine back. Then I ask not so nicely, then I just call off. And, even if you say that wasn't "official" you don't have to know that I gave them the original one to believe they got theirs done first since yours was late. It just looks like you switched us, and you have plenty of options to change it back.

So, I'm either switching 2 shifts with somebody, or I'm giving it up. Because I'd rather be there, and I'm not torturing myself because you're an asshole; no matter how good the money is.

I want that to mean something it doesn't. I have to keep myself from getting excited over something that doesn't exist. And I feel bad bugging you with it, but you keep responding.

[Kate*]

It's almost guaranteed that you'll change your mind, or you lied to me, or you meant something else. You really shouldn't say things in writing if I can figure out within seconds of looking at the schedule that they're not going to happen that way. Maybe I'll get lucky and she'll go in too. Or maybe at least one of them won't be there, and that's why I can go in. But, luckily I've prepared myself, and I wanted to talk to you about it anyway.

[Mindfulness.]

I hate not being even stronger.

[Soda_Voxel]

I just don't fit in no matter where I go

[Soda_Voxel]

Is everything going to hurt like this forever

[Kate*]

I'd say I'll just be the better person/employee and let things play out until I have her job. But, the last time I said that, it DIDN'T HAPPEN

We're being visited tomorrow. If he's still there when I start (which he'll probably be gone), I'd LOVE to talk to him. Your priorities need adjusting, her management needs work, and the attitude frome these people needs snuffed out.

[Mindfulness.]

Let's hope it comes sooner rather than later.

[Mindfulness.]

I don't want to feel like this anymore. It's getting too much.

[Hiraeth.]

Getting approved for this feels like it's taking forever. Still dreaming of moving to the big city by fifty.

[Kate*]

All the more reason I would love for this to work out. I was told they'd be "rare" but they're 1/2 or 2/3 of my shifts. And, I hesitate to adjust availability unless I know for sure he can cover the slack (and I don't have that right now)

And, in my defense, I got the shift covered, and he agreed to pick it up on what I didn't realize was his day off. The money is good, but I don't want to stay if things don't change; and I'm not sure they will.

And, now my brain is beating me up, and as much as it's not my favorite manager's job to be my therapist, he does a good job; and I probably won't even see him tomorrow

[Soda_Voxel]

It really seems like everything I try just ends in failure. I feel like I'm cursed. Why does everything go wrong, only for me?

[Mindfulness.]

I wish I was more stronger.

[Mindfulness.]

I wish I didn't have to deal with this...

[Kate*]

Well, yesterday's shift was a fucking nightmare, maybe tomorrow will be better. But, promotion is seeming less likely by the day. Giving my brain all the more reason to fucking destroy me. And, my best bet for trying to improve things at least a little is to do nothing for now, and hope for an opportunity that may never come.

"You never know." But, I DO know, because it's already happened at least twice, and I was right about doing everything and none of it well enough. So, I do know, it's NOT happening, and I can't afford to be stagnant if there's no chance for advancement! Not to mention, you care more about your own promotion than keeping your ass in your own store, and working the schedule YOU wrote for YOURSELF.

[Mindfulness.]

I don't know why I'm like this...

[Mindfulness.]

I'm hoping to get past this quickly...

[Mindfulness.]

I really am trying...

[Kate*]

So, yeah, you tell me to be patient, and that I'm doing a great job. But, also that she isn't getting promoted over me when it's blatantly obvious, and that he doesn't have it in his character to screw me over when he's done what he wants from day 1, and given me constant excuses. But, what else are you supposed to say? It's not like you can admit anything else to my face

If only, but I know, because he told me, that it was accidentally posted for the wrong location. Unless, she's leaving too, but I think she decided to stay.

[Soda_Voxel]

Why do I ruin every friendship I have?

[Kate*]

Next performance review will be very interesting. And where the fuck is the schedule, while we're at it?!

And that's called karma, bitch, and it's coming for all 3 of you. I'm sick to death of having to put up with your shit that wouldn't be accepted from anyone else, while you have LEADERSHIP positions.

[Hiraeth.]

This is dragging on way too long.

[Kate*]

Nauseous before an overnight with my least favorite manager, who literally never lets you breathe all night. I REALLY don't want to do this.

[Mindfulness.]

I'm sick of worrying about little things all the time.

[Hiraeth.]

Kind of wishing weekends didn't exist right now..

[Mindfulness.]

I'm just so tired with everything at the moment.

[Kate*]

And, you're still barely going to be in your own store. You can brag about your abilities all day long, but if you aren't around to use them, what good does that do me?

[Hiraeth.]

I'm not really sure why you've stopped going in on Thursday but you do realize I'm depending on you, someone who is an expert in this field, to guide me on this project? You are such a bad mentor, you've done absolutely nothing other than "offer" criticism for the past seven and half months.

[Mindfulness.]

I'm just taking it one day at a time...

[Kate*]

You're scaring me. I'd call, but you're not off yet, and I don't want to call at a bad time. I'd feel better if I knew what the hell was going on.

The reality it may be hitting me. The truth is, you've underestimated me from day 1, and you're still doing it. The good news is, I'm FINALLY getting my chance to prove it to you. Also, he's desperate for closers, so why the fuck are all my shifts in the morning?! Learn to schedule!

I hate the register, but I can do it, and hopefully, I won't be stuck up there all day once it's official. I can't fucking wait to be done over there, and begin what I should've had almost 2 years ago. But, we REALLY need you to get your ass back in your own store. Covering was one thing, but enough is enough.

[Matthew851]

I cant get your grades up for you dumbass, you are gonna get held back and that is your problem, now you wanna fight me? fuck off, it doesn't work that way

[Hiraeth.]

Hate that the summer people are here already. Ugh, go away tourists and college students.

[Kate*]

These 2 weeks are crazy intense, and I'm going to want a day off in between. But, considering how badly you need weekend closers, it probably won't happen. Maybe I'll get lucky though, and you'll give the high school kids the weekends and I can have part of one off for the first time in 6 months. It figures that my last 2 weeks doing both jobs are the worst it's been all year. It was absolutely necessary, but I can't wait until I don't have to do this anymore!

[Matthew851]

If you want my help, don't threaten to fight me, how stupid can you be, an no, you cant be my partner in the project, you didn't even do the assigned reading

[Kate*]

Your attitude is unacceptable. I was hoping things would get better when she left; but you're just as bad, if not worse. Grow up and do your fucking job! If I have to do it despite a disability that means I really shouldn't have to, then you sure as fuck do to keep your LEADERSHIP position! This isn't so much a me issue, considering it would be fixed if other people just DID THEIR FUCKING JOBS

But, THIS is why the "attitude" (that) can not happen" happens. And I really hope your solution is to deal with them and accept that I was right, and not blaming me in my review. And if you got your ass back in your own store for 2 G-d damn seconds, you would see it all for yourself! AND THIS IS THE JOB I LIKE!

Now that the end is in sight, I'm over everything. At least these people apologized, but I need a day off for my literal survival at this point, and I'm not going to get one. But, I've dealt with a FRACTION of the assholes there in 18 months, that I've dealt with here in 6 months. So, I really don't think it's me. But, if self-checkout is available, don't come to the human, just so you can treat them like shit. The fuck is wrong with people?!

[Mindfulness.]

Urgh, I just want to not be so anxious or stressed all the time.

[Kate*]

Another overnight with my least favorite manager. I'm praying for something tedious to do so he leaves me alone. 3 more shifts and I never have to do one again.

I'm going to be stuck on the register for the entirety of the next 2 days. Once everything's official, I'd BETTER be allowed to do something else. I don't see how you're supposed to "teach" me anything if I'm not allowed to move...

13 (mostly long days and overnights) straight before I FINALLY get a day off. And then I have to be back at the crack of dawn. But, things will be easier and a million times better when I'm back down to one job.