Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Dawn.]

I'm just so tired of it all...

[Kate*]

I need more hours from you, because he doesn't have them. But, you're screwing me now too, so I don't even want to see what you said in response.

I'm probably just overthinking, but knowing that doesn't make it stop.

I know you don't like him, and I kind of agree with you, but it's not like complaining to me is going to do anything. You think it's unfair that he's your equal when he doesn't do his job the way you wish he did. And I could say the same about you. I don't think it's fair that you got promoted over me, even when you do the job better than I ever could. But, it is what it is, and complaining about it to the guy who made the decision is only going to make me look worse.

[Soda_Voxel]

I suppose it's a good thing it's so inconvenient to do because it stops me doing it but I cant help but want and wish and crave

[Dawn.]

I'm going to just keep to myself and do what I need to do...

[Dawn.]

I don't want to have keep feeding into my addiction anymore...

[Dawn.]

I really hope it helps...

[Kate*]

Even if the position opens, she will 100% get it over me. That's what he means by "other things" he won't elaborate on, and it's how he's justifying everything.

I don't want to, but I need to if it's offered, and based on how things usually go, I'm expecting it.

Why the fuck is my anxiety so high, I'd be stupid to confront him (again) about anything anyway, so it's not like I need to be afraid of that. Maybe I'm just sick of being jerked around.

I trusted him, and I never should have. Amazing human, shitty manager. And he screwed me and can't even admit it to my face. I don't even want to go in tomorrow, especially because its her and not him. I can wait for review time, when he can't walk away from me, or I can ask and see if he takes the bait. I doubt talking to him AGAIN will do anything, but this is taking up too much of my brain.

[Soda_Voxel]

Why does change terrify me even if it's good or neutral

[Dawn.]

I don't know how much more of this I can take.

[Soda_Voxel]

why is nothing i ever say right? i'm always so awkward and it hurts because it isn't even something i can change it is a fixed part of my being because i'm autistic and stupid

[Dawn.]

Do less, get more benefits.

[Kate*]

Assuming things don't get any worse, and I hold out that long, it could be another 3-6 months. And even then, I doubt it'll do any good..

[Dawn.]

I wish I wasn't in this situation...

[Soda_Voxel]

I just want these feelings to go away

[Kate*]

Something feels off, and it would help if I could check for my schedule, or reset my expired password from here instead of having to wait until it dies down tomorrow.

Worst fucking day, and I have to go back tomorrow. Plus, my hours are cut back after I JUST fought to get what I needed.

[Dawn.]

I don't know how much longer I can do this...

[Dawn.]

Lets hope it doesn't last too much longer...

[Soda_Voxel]

i just dont know how much longer i can take this

[Dawn.]

I hate how tiring all of it is.

[Kate*]

Some of that was deserved, but if that's seriously going to be your issue EVERY time I touch them, then I'll either stop admitting it's me, or you can do them yourself.

So, I might've REALLY fucked that up, but at least the money is still in the drawer, and technically it's the supervisor's fault for disappearing on me. And, I never learned how to do them because it hasn't worked since I've been there!

And, no I'm not sorry. You bitch that I don't get out right on time, I finally do, have to wait for you, finally get in the car and you want to go BACK IN because you couldn't bother to tell me in the last 8 HOURS that we needed milk?! FUCK NO.

[Dawn.]

I wish I had something to work towards...

[Soda_Voxel]

How the fuck am I going to live the rest of my life with this feeling this is miserable

[Dawn.]

I'm just tired all the time.

[Dawn.]

It's all getting too much again...

[Kate*]

I would only do that for you, and in return, I got shafted, and she didn't even speak to me; which may have another explanation, but is still off-putting. Maybe I'm not as welcome and wanted there as you made it seem. If you weren't as nice a person as you are, I would already be gone.

The conversation is definitely best saved for performance review time, or a discussion with your boss. The problem is, I don't know if I can hold out that long. And you wonder why I'm risk-averse with a paralyzing fear of failure! Because it's all I've ever known, dude. I take a risk, I fail, and the only thing I learn is that, because of who I am, I never should've bothered.

[Kate*]

I only want to work when I'm not scheduled, explain that. I know what I want, and failing that, what I would be willing to accept. The problem is that it would take a miracle to get either. So, I should probably just give up on them both.

[Hiraeth.]

Answer the damn email! All of you! Answer your email! Answer your text! Answer your Messenger!

[Soda_Voxel]

I just want this to go away

[Hiraeth.]

I hate these extreme cycles of my depression.

[Dawn.]

The days just blur into one now...

[Hiraeth.]

I'm feeling so bored right now.

[Dawn.]

I can't seem to shake this feeling.

[Soda_Voxel]

Why can't I get over this!!!!! It's not like I ever had a chance anyway.UGH!!

[Dawn.]

I really need to get professional help...

[Kate*]

So, technically it was my fault. But, if you hadn't been an ass hole, I wouldn't have wanted to get rid of you, and I would've done it right the first time, so, it's still partly your fault. If they paid people to be hermits, I'd sign up tomorrow!

My 2nd least favorite shift with my 3rd least favorite coworker two days in a row. Yeah, this is going to suck.

[Hiraeth.]

I do not wish to see someone who only engages in a "get to business" attitude.

[Hiraeth.]

I wish I could travel around the country.

[Kate*]

I need a day off so bad, but I have no idea when my next one is. But, this is EXACTLY why I asked you NOT to give me a shift. I'm exhausted and I don't need it!

You have ONE chance to give me the ONLY acceptable explanation you have left, or I quit. I've put up with too much of your BS for almost 2 years now. So far, it looks like you want her and not me, so you confirm that and you've got it. And when you don't have me at your disposal to call in and cut as you please, you can deal with the consequences of losing one of the hardest working, most loyal employees you' were ever lucky enough to have. I deserve better (and the truth to my face) Also probably explains why she ignored my last text when she ALWAYS responds IMMEDIATELY

You somehow always manage to calm me down and convince me to stay, so we'll see if you get your way this time. There's nothing you can really say to justify this.

[Hiraeth.]

Got the wanderlust going again and I want to travel but first I want a partner.

[Dawn.]

I wish I was more direct.