Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Soda_Voxel]

I hate how comforting being sad is feeling right now

[Kate*]

It's supposed to be fixed, she took it to the DEALER for fuck sake! If it dies ONE more time, she's going to get a new one. As much as she loves this car and doesn't want to, it literally has one job, and it's not doing it.

And they didn't find anything wrong with it yet, so it needs to do it's broken ass thing tomorrow, or she'll have to give up and trade it in.

[Dawn.]

I just want one day to not feel like this.

[Dawn.]

I just want to be more motivated like I used to be.

[Kate*]

Cover your mouth when you cough (at work after having Covid), and DON'T chew with your mouth open.

I'm 99.9% sure that I just triggered myself and I'm being paranoid. Part of me wants to talk to him about it though. And I would absolutely wait until my review, but God knows when it'll actually happen; and if I push to get it done, he might have someone else do it, which I don't want.

[Kate*]

I find it ironic that I'm so invaluable that you need and expect me to get too much done in not enough time, and yet can't for the life of you REMEMBER my fucking BREAKS! And get mad when you constantly interrupt me while I'm busting my ass to do the job you assigned me, to ask me STUPID questions. For the love of fucking God, I can do ONE thing at a time, you need to chill.

[Dawn.]

It's like my anxiety is now a permanent fixture.

[Kate*]

I either need a vacation, (which is unpaid so I can't afford it), more than one day off at a time, a shift in the back, or maybe a couple of shorter ones. Not enough to destroy my income, but enough to save my sanity. The job isn't bad, but I'm completely OVER it with no breaks in sight, and it's only been 8 months.

[Dawn.]

It's just one thing after the other...

[Kate*]

When someone else is on their break in the break room with you, TURN YOUR FUCKING PHONE DOWN!

[Dawn.]

The cost of living is way beyond my means.

[Kate*]

Yes, I'm in a mood because SO IS EVERYOME ELSE who can't be bothered to use the FUCKING COMMUNION DEVICES and get pissy because the GM told them to do something you don't like! Get off your God damn POWER TRIP and stop being bitchy!

You JUST FUCKING TOLD ME THIS WASN'T GOING TO HAPPEN, but the second you leave, THERE IT IS. It's a reasonable accommodation or it's not, I offered to learn it and you told me no, and I'm the ONLY ONE with almost a whole day immediately cut.

Plus, the guy you insisted on giving the full-time to and promoting to key holder needs to calm the fuck down. I know he's excited, but the power has gone to his head. And his selfishness is on my last nerve "As long as I get what I need..." I can't Not to mention I have more retail experience than 2/3 of your management team and at least 3/4 of your coordinators. If anyone DESERVES full-time, or at least not to be the FIRST ONE SCREWED, it's ME.

So, go ahead and put me on the fucking register because when I fail miserably in front of an audience of your paying customers, you can't fire me because I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO for MONTHS and you used your power to manipulate me into doing it anyway. You seem to forget that I don't HAVE TO BE HERE. If I'm so fucking valuable that you can't afford to lose me, then fucking prove it and deal with this.

[Dawn.]

I wish I had more time in the day.

[Dawn.]

I wish I was less anxious.

[Kate*]

If you are out there again making that noise at the crack of dawn, I'm losing it.

And I don't understand why I have to go out of my way on my day off for this; especially since I ended up going into work today, and don't know when my next one will be yet. Why are you still trying to force relationships with family that hate us and haven't spoken to us in years?!

We both want to overlap with each other, and I want my hours calculated accurately, and to not get screwed out of them for bullshit reasons. The only way I see that happening is if YOU do the schedule yourself.

[Kate*]

You'd BETTER take care of it. Because if you think I need to calm down now, you haven't even BEGUN to see me MAD. But, since I reminded you you JUST said this wouldn't happen, and you tried to dismiss it, I have my doubts. I don't want to leave, but you're not going to leave me a choice.

Bad day all around, both of us were wrong. But, if you want to put yourself back in the hospital because of your stubborn streak, then don't blame me.

I'm triggered and spinning, and none of it is your job to deal with, but part of me knows it's probably going to get dumped on you anyway. Maybe I don't belong anymore...

I'm supposed to see him tomorrow, but I probably won't, and I have to close with him again. Now that I'm triggered and mad about it, I just need a day off to let it calm down, but I don't get one until Tuesday.

[Dawn.]

I hoped my schedule wouldn't be so busy.

[Kate*]

I don't know why I'm excited to close with him tomorrow. Given my short shift, he'll probably be in the office by the time I get there, and I won't even see him.

[Kate*]

I'm mentally preparing myself for the same or fewer hours, and the conversation I don't want to have again. As amazing as the people are, it's been bait and switch and red flags from the beginning, and the longer the pattern continues, the less willing I am to put up with it. He's going to get the full background of how I think through this, because eventually it's going to get dumped on him. Something is keeping me there, but if this continues as I expect it will, that won't last; and it's really sad.

I got mine, and EVERYONE else was cut, which I hate, but I'm also glad I'm not the only one taking the hit. But, since he won't be there to do the next one, I'm preparing myself to not even be on it.

[Dawn.]

It's just one thing after the other. When will it stop?

[Kate*]

If I assume that she's right and this is my answer, then you're at least worth the conversation. I respect you enough to make sure you understand where it's coming from. It's one thing if there aren't any available; it's another if you just never want me to have one. And you would have to thoroughly explain that, considering you seem to love me so much. Or, is that just to pacify me so you can keep me where I have no real growth opportunities, but still have a job so I can't pursue others? I think if you cared about your team as much as you always say you do, then you would either do your best to provide opportunities, or be honest enough to tell them that it would be best for them to move on.

I'M not the one moving your shit, and even if I was, I'm not a fucking idiot and you don't really have the right to tell me what to do. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you can treat me like one. But, thanks for bitching me out anyway.

[Kate*]

You are the ONLY one allowed to touch my schedule from now on! She seems hell-bent on fucking me over and I'm SICK of it

And no, as badly as I want the hours, I'm not working 10+ days in a row because you're idiots.

Lucky for you, I'll have time to calm down before I might see you Monday. Because I am now beyond incensed over this and you're about to get the full story as to why.

[Soda_Voxel]

It pains me to have so much hope and put in so much effort only to keep realising over and over that I will never be good for anything I will never amount to anything and in the grand scheme of things my life is nothing

[Everglow.]

I'm sick of being sick.

[Kate*]

I feel weird and I don't like it. I'm bored and we need our GM back ASAP so he can do the schedule correctly before everyone revolts.

Less than 20 hours this week, fucking awesome. But, I close with him twice, so maybe he'll fix it again. Definitely worth a conversation though. We sere supposed to be past this shit.

[Kate*]

Forget helping other stores, ours is falling apart and if you don't get your ass back in there for more than 2 minutes and handle my schedule yourself, you'll lose me. I won't have a choice but to leave. I've told you before, the second you leave, she fucks me over, and it just keeps getting worse. At this rate, I won't even have a job come January whether I quit or not!

And I know you full-timers with your guaranteed 40 hours don't have to give a shit, but could you at least fake empathy for 2 minutes?! We have no income and no one cares. I know he makes a lot of promises he probably can't keep, but I wonder what the truth is. Because I'm overqualified, and he knows I'm at least as good, if not better than some of the people he put in place first. I wonder if he would really want to give me more and can't, or if it really will never happen, and he just can't look me in the eye and say that. And I know I complain too much, but this is borderline illegal and I'm sick to death of getting royally shafted.

[Dawn.]

I wish I was normal.

[Kate*]

Since no one understands what the fuck ADA means, and it's financial January, I have no choice but to try the register. And if I melt or shut down in front of customers, then I fucking told you so. This isn't something to be cheered on, or celebrated; it should never have to happen.

And I really hope he calls me in, not only because I need the money, and he said he would fix it, but because otherwise I won't see him for at least another week.

I hate that I can't tell what she meant by that, and that he's doing such a bad (or selfish?) job at this that we're falling apart. He needs to get his ass back in his own store, drastically and consistently fix my schedule like he said, and draw the line. People who no call/no show more often than they show, do not deserve more hours than I get when I work my fucking ass off, have NEVER no call/no showed in my LIFE, have learned EVERY role in the store (now including the register, when I DON'T have to), and haven't taken an unplanned day off in 9 months. Even with valid excuses to do so, I wouldn't. Maybe we're just too far gone to bother hoping for full-time, and I should just give up

[Everglow.]

I hate when people laugh at me. It makes me feel like the joke I know I am already.

Why am I so useless and pathetic? Why can't I function like other human beings? Why do I fail over and over and over again. Sometimes I think I deserve to hurt and be alone and I am sure one day I will be.

[Dawn.]

I just wish I was better...

[Kate*]

I could be wrong, but I said no for a reason and I have a feeling, I'm going to be right AGAIN, and this will be ONE more thing this fucking diagnosis is going to take from me.

At this point I hope he calls me in just because I'm bored out of my fucking mind.

[Dawn.]

I just want to not feel like this anymore.

[Kate*]

Yeah, you'd BETTER fix some things. And then stick around long enough for them to actually happen. That's aside from I fucking told you that the second you leave, they screw me. And apparently, every time, it's going to get worse until I'm not even on the damn schedule at all.

Deny it all you want, they're your favorites and everyone knows it. I suppose this means I should stay on your good side and out of the drama because even your boss can't (or won't) do anything about it.. Which means nothing will change. They have it made, and they're getting away with murder. Fairness is all you should care about. But, at least I know I came by everything honestly. I showed up, on time, and worked my fucking ass off EVERY time. If it doesn't result in anything because they want to do questionable things, it's them, not me. And I can find somewhere that will reward me.

[Dawn.]

I just want to be able to sleep.

[Kate*]

I'm expecting them to either fight with me, or for this to be pointless. If she had only done her fucking job, I wouldn't have to put up with this crap.

[Thereishope]

Why do I keep getting a major crush on people I know I'll never have a chance dating them. I can't f****** trust anyone in RL that it won't get back to said people. Already happened once and I got TOTALLY f***** over. *sighs and punches pillow.*

[Kate*]

I really hope tomorrow doesn't suck like it looks like it will. And, if you know we're being visited, why are you off AGAIN?!

I am NOT picking up her slack, and I will absolutely tell him off about it. The favoritism is obvious, she does it because she can get away with it. Meanwhile, I'm working my ass off, basically being told I'm the ideal employee, but will never have a future there; while she was handed full-time, does nothing, and bosses others around!

[Everglow.]

I am an inconvenience to everyone.
Nobody likes me as much as they like other people.
I'm useless.

[Kate*]

I've had glasses for about 30 years, and they're NEVER ready in 3 days. I'm half expecting something to be wrong with them.

[Dawn.]

I wish my anxiety was under control.