Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Kate*]

The job is gone. I can't prove it was in my department. But, if I find out you did the same exact thing to me again, I walk on the spot, period..

[Dawn.]

Why am I the way that I am?

[Dawn.]

I really wish I didn't do this to myself.

[Kate*]

Now the anxiety kicks in, but it's still better than last time. And if you don't like it, that's too damn bad. You should've given me the hours to begin with.

It would really help if it was about something, rather than just there, but at least this is familiar, and if I don't like it or can't do it, I can quit.
I'm kind of afraid the extra day will be too much, but it's only 4 hours; how bad could it be?

[Dawn.]

I'm just so physically, mentally and emotionally tired.

[Dawn.]

I really don't want to feel like this anymore.

[Dawn.]

I really hope my schedule calms down. I hate how busy I am right now.

[Everglow.]

I like being home alone sometimes but it really hits home how alone in life I am.

[Kate*]

2 days back and I already NEED my day off. But I don't get it, because I had to get another job. Because of you.

Just FYI: it looks like I'm going to need those days off or adjusted, I have the time, so I'm taking them with or without notice and if you give me a hard time, YOU made me do this, so don't even start.

This is A LOT for a 16 hour job, Not only do I have to adjust availability for the job itself, but for mandatory monthly meetings and training too. How much notice do I get for those and how long are they?! Plus, anxiety is through the roof, I already almost forgot a dose of meds, and I haven't even started yet! This might be too much. I guess I don't get to sleep or get days off anymore.

[Dawn.]

I hate how everything seems to be going up in price besides my wage.

[Dawn.]

I was someone to say yes so I can prove myself.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking certain relationship (non-sexual) label/categorization seriously.

[Dawn.]

I just want one day where I don't have to do any work or feel anxious.

[Dawn.]

I'm just so tired of everything that's going on in my life right now.

[Soda_Voxel]

My brand new, fresh-out-the-box earphones aren't working.

[Kate*]

I don't want to do this

I'm so fucking exhausted, and I have another 4 hours to go.
And I don't get a full day off until Thursday

[Soda_Voxel]

I was in agonising pain yet again this morning. My body was so fucking weak, I could hardly move, I needed my mum to pick me up to take me to the bed, and even then I collapsed on the floor. My stomach was in absolute agony. I nearly passed out. My ears were ringing. I was so weak mum had to pour water into my mouth at one point, apparently I was really grey. I think I'm over the worst for now, but it's made me realise that I need to go to the doctor about it, no matter how embarassing the problem. I just can't go through that pain again. I can't do it again.

[Kate*]

I've definitely had worse, but that was pretty bad. And I can only assume it was worse than she let on. The speed will come, and if either that or not being able to reach things doesn't get better, then it doesn't work out and I leave. I don't exactly want to go back, but I'm not dreading it either.

I don't care if you vent, but I suspect you're talking about me behind my back. I guess it's better if I never know what you're saying, if you're saying it. And we're dealing with the elderly, WHY is the water SCAULDING HOT to begin with? How about instead of telling me to be more careful with it, you just turn the temperature down?! I pretty much burned myself getting it too, but no one cares about that.

[Soda_Voxel]

I haven't even started (yet) and I'm already addicted. I'm fantasising about it, wanting to do it even though I'm in a pretty decent mood. What's the matter with me?

[Starseeker]

Why are we arguing all the time? Is it only going to get worse? Are you childish, or am I wrong?

[Kate*]

My job could be posted again, but considering that with just 2 of us, I already don't have enough hours, if you hire someone else or over me again, it will just remind me of every reason I took the other job and limited my hours so much to begin with. You are either horrible, clueless, or both.

You're trying to run everyone off except your special chosen few, and it couldn't be more obvious if you flat out said so. We need a complete overhaul of management and you all need some serious karma. You can't get away with fucking with other people's lives because you decide you don't like them for no reason.

[Soda_Voxel]

I WANT TO TEAR MY ROOM APART I WANT TO THROW THINGS I WANT TO STAMP MY FEET AND PUNCH MYSELF AND PUNCH PEOPLE AND SCREAM SO LOUD MY LUNGS GIVE OUT I CNT I CANT I CANT IM SO FUCKING ANGRY

[Dawn.]

I would love to be a millionaire right now.

[Starseeker]

why. the fuck. do you have to. listen to your fucking music so fucking loud and every single fucking day!
can't you imagine that in this block live other people who ARE FUCKING ANNOYED BY YOUR FUCKING MUSIC?????????!!!!!!!

I want May to hurry up and get here, I'm getting tired of these lonely weekends.

[Kate*]

If you switch my day off permanently, I will literally NEVER have any. Not that you give a shit about anybody but yourselves and your little clique that tolerates your bullshit.

[Soda_Voxel]

I'm meeting a friend I haven't seen in many, many years on Wednesday. Of course I'm excited but I'm also fucking terrified. It's hard enough meeting people I talk to on the regular. I'm so scared. I'm going to be so awkward, and drive them away. I won't know what to say. I'll be so dumb. Fuckfuckfuck

[Soda_Voxel]

I will never amount to anything.

[Dawn.]

The weather seems to be reflecting my mood. Grey, stormy and raining.

[Kate*]

I fucking knew it, if they can't come up with an accommodation that helps, I'm going to have to quit. Fuck this disability. And I just realized I made ANOTHER mistake! Nothing I can do about it now, just wait for them to yell at me tomorrow.
fuck.

I'm not even talking about it. Especially if you're not in a better mood. If nothing can be done and you're firing me, lets fucking go and get it over with so I can go back to having no money.

Absolutely no mention of it. I'll just go in prepared to be fired so I'm not blindsided.

[Dawn.]

I wish I was a millionaire.

[Dawn.]

I really need to do something about it.

I hate that the landscapers have been here every day this week.

[Soda_Voxel]

I feel like I am two people sometimes. The dark side and the desperate, 'hopeful' side.

I constantly hate the other, and they hate me too.

[Kate*]

One more thing this fucking disability has cost me. Is there NOTHING I'm capable of?! How the hell am I supposed to live and support myself if I get "nicely" let go from EVERY job I've ever had because of something I have ZERO control over?!

[Soda_Voxel]

Everything that used to make me happy now makes me stressed and anxious and angry and upset. I have no interests anymore because it all just makes me feel like shit. I dont want to live like this anymore.

[Soda_Voxel]

I really really really want to do something bad and I can't even get that right because the universe likes to fuck me over in small ways that make everything fucking impossible god fucking damn it

[Soda_Voxel]

My achievements mean nothing

[Dawn.]

Let's hope this doesn't continue for long.

[Soda_Voxel]

All my progress is being undone. All that money wasted paying for therapy for nothing