Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Mindfulness.]

I don't know how much of this I can take.

I know I'll be okay eventually but my self destructive thoughts are pretty intense.

[Kate*]

7-hour Black Friday shift, and I couldn't tell by that, but I may be the only one in my department all day. So much for her getting more hours than I do! I can't articulate how much this is going to suck.

[Mindfulness.]

I'm dreading work tomorrow. It's going to be so busy.

I'm super paranoid my burn is infected and I'm out of town so LOL.

[Kate*]

Yes, that was totally my fault. But, in my defense, I looked, thought you were going the other way until I was already behind you, and that at least one of you SAW me. As the trainer and the second pair of eyes, I'd hold her responsible too.

[Mindfulness.]

I'm contemplating whether or not I should seek professional help.

[Kate*]

This was the one I was waiting for, I need to return this call, it's already been 2 days, but I just don't want to.

[Mindfulness.]

I hate always being this busy and tired.

[Kate*]

Really have to start looking up the starting pay before I schedule interviews. Now I have to drag myself in there for a job that pays practically nothing.

[Mindfulness.]

Work has become my life and I hate that it has.

I want to destroy myself

[Kate*]

I want to blow off Friday so bad. I only picked up tomorrow because it's short, but working 6 straight will always suck and add an interview for a job I no longer want and I just don't want to.

I've been awake on purpose for 12 hours now. That doesn't include the many hours of sleep I didn't get last night. Despite 2 cups of coffee, I'm exhausted.

I feel like this is going to be a waste of time like the last one was, and I still have to work afterwards. I can already tell they're a disorganized mess and they don't pay. I don't want to fucking do this. It's too stressful on top of a normal work schedule. If I'd known I was getting my hours back for awhile, I would've waited.

[Kate*]

This week I did it to myself, next week is your fault. 6 days straight again for 1 Saturday off.

[Mindfulness.]

Let's hope it's good news...

[Everglow.]

My throat feels red raw and my back and chest hurt from coughing. I just wish it would stop.

Saying I'm disappointed is really trivializing how I am feeling right now.

[Everglow.]

I'm going to really struggle to get through this week.

[Starseeker]

these feelings are so strong, so confusing, so destructive for me and everybody else I am hurting. I wish I could disappear instead of having to handle everything. This is too much for me to handle. I just want these thoughts and feelings to stop. Somebody please stop them. I think the only way for them to stop is if I am not alive. I want to be in peace.

This is so frustrating.

[Kate*]

I did the best I could with the time I had. I assume most of it is wrong, but it's at least close(er) to what it should be. Have fun fixing it tomorrow.

This is way too early to be going somewhere!

[Mindfulness.]

It's going to be so busy.

[Kate*]

I did fine, so either she's being nice or they've undone all the work I did for years purely out of spite. 6 days in a row sucks already and now it's the weekend.

[Starseeker]

why suicidal all the time?

Today's weather is absolute garbage, hopefully tomorrow is better.

[Kate*]

First time in 4 years I went off on somebody. But, I was provoked. If you come at me screaming, then insult me and continue to glare at me, I'm NOT going to be nice to you. and you're DAMN right that I didn't want to help you, you were both complete assholes the entire fucking time. Obviously you were made for each other.

[Mindfulness.]

What a fucking awful weekend.

[Starseeker]

I want to die

I hate how my brain goes into overdrive when I don't get any sleep.

I don't want to do this anymore but I don't know how to make it stop

[Everglow.]

I don't give enough options, and I'm wrong. I give more options, and I'm still wrong. This is the issue with micro managing - nothing's ever going to be done exactly how you want it to be.

[Mindfulness.]

I hate feeling like this all the time.

[Starseeker]

I feel like there is no way out of all these situations. Whatever I do, everything will be wrong. Just like in the past - everything in my life has gone wrong. I want to die

[Kate*]

Well, I knew I was going to get screwed, and everyone else's hours got cut like crazy, but losing 13 hours a week is a bit much. It slows down every year, but not that much. My guess is they hired too many people at the super high starting rate and now either don't have enough hours to go around, or don't want to pay. I can always get out.

[Mindfulness.]

It's just one thing after the other all the time.

[Mindfulness.]

I wonder if my paranoia is really true...

[Celyn]

Feeling really anxious today but don't really know why.

[Kate*]

I shouldn't, and I know you're not one to mean it that way; but I feel judged by that.

And WHY is every person I'm semi-attracted to taken, gay, or too old/young for me?! It's never going to happen for me, is it?

[Mindfulness.]

I hate being this tired in every way all the time.