Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

[Kate*]

It's about to get even worse and God knows how long it'll last. I have to get out

[MWF]

This isn't screaming necessarily, but I realized that my mental illness never really left. It was just silent while the rest of me was happy.
Its better that I know now, though. I've been feeling horrible lately.

[Mindfulness.]

I wish I was more motivated.

[Kate*]

Since that position is not posted, I assume you either hired someone, or you're waiting for me to drown to the point that I leave, and believe me, we're there. Your options are things change drastically ASAP, I make demands as a condition of staying, and you agree to them, or I quit. But, there are jobs available, and it's a miracle I haven't walked on the spot yet, especially since the review I got in exchange for keeping the department afloat was complete fucking bullshit. So, make your decision quickly. The only good news is that I can pretty much put shit where ever I want, since it's not technically my job to know where they're supposed to go (and my disability makes reading planograms difficult, especially when they're "upside down and backwards") so HAHA

Y'all just fucking suck.

[Everglow.]

I'm not going to engage in a conversation with you when you're going to say racist comments under your breath because I asked you to pay by card and not cash. I'm not paid enough to put up with that.

[Kate*]

STOP getting sick! Yes, that makes me a selfish, victim-blaming, bitch, but I don't care. I have to do everything myself at work already, and now I have to do it here too, and last time it's because you wanted the cheaper nonprescription version when you have a prescription for a reason! Did you not take it, AGAIN?! Go to the fucking doctor and get it figured out! May as well get a job in walking distance since they may not let me call off this much. It was a whole fucking week last time and I'm OVER IT

I have the time to cover this, and I've made no indications to any of you that I'm probably quitting, so you better give it to me with no questions asked like usual. And if that leaves you in a lurch, I really don't give a shit because you did it to yourself.

[Mallika]

I can't believe the time has already come. What I had been skirting around my whole life has just smacked me in the face. Wish things had just worked out differently so things would be much different.

I feel like my bubble has been burst. I don't even know what the next step is going to look like as far as this is concerned.

And on top of that, they just don't get me when I've told them a hundred times already.

I have to really stand for myself because no one else is going to speak on my behalf. I will at the end of the day but it just sucks. I think I will have no choice but to give up on what I had built up in my head about my whole life.

Everything is so uncertain it's driving me crazy.

[Kate*]

I'm not going to freak out yet, hopefully it's only because she wasn't there to officially enter and approve it. It's excused because I have the time to cover it, and you can' determine excused or not if you don't ask for a reason!

[Mindfulness.]

Urgh, this is so time consuming.

[Ral.]

Lies hurt people. Stop trying to make me out as a liar.

[Kate*]

See, you refused to take care of shit and I had to call fucking 911! And you were still in denial.

I want this anxiety to stop

[Starseeker]

My mental health's been declining. why...?

[Kate*]

I'm not okay, but the shit is finally getting taken care of. And, my vision is blurry which is NOT helping.

Stress stress stress

[Mindfulness.]

I'm just so tired all the time. I hope it stops soon.

Heavy eye roll.

[Soda_Voxel]

STOP FUCKING TELLING ME I'M SMART OR GOOD!!! I'm literally good for nothing!!! Stop telling me I'm something I'm not!!!

[Kate*]

Is it for the cough you said was no big deal forfuckingever?! THIS is what happens when you don't listen to me! And I really hope no one steals the bag of clothes. It wouldn't fit inside the screen door.

[Everglow.]

It's so stupid. I know I need to do this but I'm so scared and I can't. Pathetic.

[Mindfulness.]

I wish I had more self-control.

I should have told him I love him today.

[Kate*]

So, even if you had listened to me and gotten it checked out, it wouldn't have shown up. But, it's taken care of now, and if you ever have it again we know what it is!

I can't believe I'm still recovering from the lack of sleep and stress. I'm still exhausted.

[Starseeker]

I'm feeling... strange. I've been feeling strange. It's been more than half a year but this feeling seems to have got me in the end.

I fucking hate myself. I am not worth loving.

[Mindfulness.]

I hate feeling like this.

[Everglow.]

I'm tired of the panic attacks and the anxiety.

[Soda_Voxel]

GOD I AM SO UGLY

[Mindfulness.]

I wish I had more time and energy to do the things I love.

Heavy eye roll... Not all Christians!!! Hahaha enough Christians. Sounds a lot like not all men. Which, we know but it's a big enough issue that it needs to be pointed out

I don't think you realize how alone I feel. I love you, but now I am afraid to tell you, because I am afraid I won't get the support I need from you. Hell, I *am* not getting the support I need from you. The day after I ask you to please keep in contact, and you say you know you've been bad about it but you'll be better, you don't text me at all. Again. What happened to how it used to be? Good morning texts most days? At least a couple of texts during the day? We've only been dating for two and a half months, and already that's dropped off. I know you're into some busy stuff, but you don't even bother to contact me? It just really hurts.

I feel so fucking alone.

I'm dreading class tomorrow because the topic of trans woman is going to be discussed (I believe) and I've already seen comments about kids not being allowed hormone blockers and the arguments aren't even factual. People are basing opinions around feelings instead of facts and if that happens in class tomorrow I'll likely have to say something or feel like a dick for being quiet.

I'm supposed to be an advocate and tomorrow it might be a situation where I speak up or remain quiet. If I speak up there could be confrontation or discontent.

Legit the argument "the cons of providing hormone blockers are too dangerous" do these people not realize that many trans youth commit suicide and the hormone blockers help them. It's reversible... It blocks hormones until they're able to transition. Our goal should be to protect and empower people... Not take away their rights because of "feelings"

[Mindfulness.]

I hate my job.

Class soon and I hope I don't end the night pissed off.

I guess he's just like all the rest. I should really cease being surprised by this point.

[Starseeker]

However wondrous, human mind has an uncanny ability (and tendency) to sabotage itself, drive itself insane, and torture instead of trying to soothe itself in difficult situations. Instead of forgetting that person completely, they appear in my dreams, and in situations that I most wish to happen in reality. Seriously?

I really wish you would text me, ask to hang out. I feel wrong for being this hung up on someone I've met once, but that was a spectacular night for me. It's hard to forget, and hard to accept it probably won't happen again.

[Mindfulness.]

I just want this over and done with already.

[Kate*]

I asked you nicely to at least try to do part of my job for a week, so it doesn't take up space and take me FOREVER to catch up when I get back. If it doesn't get at least partially done, it's NOT my fault.