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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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  (#801 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 9th 2013, 07:54 PM

Seriously, do I mean nothing? Am I that damn invisible? All I do is sit around here all day and watch him. And you, you're always being rude and snapping up all of my opportunities. I went to bed triggered, so instead of cutting, I bit the inside of my mouth so now I can't eat anything.


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


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  (#802 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 9th 2013, 09:00 PM

GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD MATTHEW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE IT'S KILLING ME IT'S TEARING ME APART AND I'M LOSING EVERYONE AND I'M GOING ABSOLUTELY INSANE I'M LOSING MY MIND AND I'VE NEVER BEEN LONELIER PLEASE JUST STOP MAKING ME LOVE YOU
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  (#803 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 9th 2013, 10:32 PM

Why do I not include you in my life? Well, I'm sure you can answer that if you really think about it.


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  (#804 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 10th 2013, 03:58 AM

Mom: Stop asking me to do all my brother's work for him. If he wants the damn money, he's got the get it himself. He's NOT taking credit for my hard work. He's 19. I think he can write a freaking poem by himself.


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  (#805 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 10th 2013, 04:06 AM

Well you know what? You should feel guilty! You hurt me so much, you know you did, and you haven't even said sorry. What kind of friend are you?!


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  (#806 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 10th 2013, 04:11 AM

I'm so sorry that I have to do this. My mom wants to give you a chance, but the rest of this are past that. You tried to kill my cat; you can't stay here anymore. I feel terrible about this, I do. And I hate to have to chose. But the cats have to come first.

Please breathe. It's too early for this. I knew there was something wrong. I'm begging you, don't have another seizure. You worry the hell out of me, and I love you so much.


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


The axe forgets, but the tree remembers

Last edited by hocus pocus; August 10th 2013 at 06:38 AM.
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  (#807 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 11th 2013, 06:52 AM

Rest in peace. You deserve to rest peacefully.


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 11th 2013, 07:12 AM

My cat pissed on my blanket. We need to get the little shit spayed because them being in heat is the most annoying thing in the world. "MEEEEEOOOOOOOW. MEEEEEEEEEEEOW. MEEEEEEEEOW." alllllll the time.
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  (#809 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 11th 2013, 07:12 AM

I know I need to get over you and I'm happy for you really, but you were the closest thing I had to a relationship and you treated me so well I doubt I'll be able to find someone who meets that standard. Congratulations, she's a lucky girl.


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 11th 2013, 11:33 AM

I'm really tired of being awake at this hour.
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 11th 2013, 01:31 PM

Thanks for not cleaning up after yourself. I guess my job title changed to janitor overnight, huh?


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 11th 2013, 08:28 PM

If my child complained of chronic pain as often as I have I'd have taken her to the doctor alr eady. Sure, of course most pain is easily fixed and doesn't need a doctor's visit. But if it doesn't go away and gets worse - hello?
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 12th 2013, 02:21 PM

There comes a point when you need to stop lying. Now is that time.


"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
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  (#814 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 12th 2013, 06:57 PM

I couldn't stop crying, my makeup ran. I can't believe you're going to be gone. I never envisioned life without you. And now that you could die at any minute, I don't know. I just don't. You mean everything to me and I'm going to lose that. It's not fucking fair. Why do people have to die? Why does cancer have to continue to take the lives away from my family? At the funeral last year, I couldn't let myself cry. But now I can't seem to stop. I want to spend every last moment with you. Because I never know when it's going to be your last. I love you.


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
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  (#815 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 13th 2013, 01:42 AM

Do I stay here and keep wanting someone who doesn't want me, live in a house full of people who don't love me, keep living my life feeling like I could be hanging by my ceiling fan by tomorrow, or do I move there and be closer to my family but possibly have to live with my brother, have to make friends and adjust to a new school?
I really fucking hate decisions.


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 13th 2013, 04:47 AM

I will never be enough. Never.
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 13th 2013, 06:00 AM

My writing sucks. I'm just not good enough. I wrote and wrote and wrote and it just never came out right, ever. I can't do it. I fooled myself into thinking, for awhile, that I was good at it, just like I fooled myself into thinking that my dog loved me.

I'm just not good enough.


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  (#818 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 13th 2013, 02:27 PM

I think one day you will realize what you missed out on, but by that time, I will be long gone.


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  (#819 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 13th 2013, 02:38 PM

I'm losing it.


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 13th 2013, 03:22 PM

Lol fuck school seriously
But I'm gonna keep trying anyway
I'm gonna get an education and get a lot farther than my mom has in less time than she did. But fuck it while I'm doing it.
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  (#821 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 13th 2013, 05:06 PM

Life is one big fucking joke but heres the catch life you aren't fucking funny. You are a stupid piece of crap. Epic fail. Fuck you life.


Come on boys, come on girls
In this crazy, crazy world
You’re the diamonds, you’re the pearls
Let’s make a new tomorrow
Come on girls, come on boys
It’s your future, it’s your choice
And your weapon is your voice
Let’s make a new tomorrow
Today
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 13th 2013, 05:19 PM

My sister is acting like a emotional sadist... Godverdomme.

She first tell me to smile when I really... REAAALLLLLYYY am not in the mood for it, I use a overreacting, sarcastic smile to own her (As in owned). But she even tells her two young daughters I'm uncle of (One of 4 years old and one of 1 year old) to suck it up.

HOW IN THE GODVERDETYFUS COULD YOU TELL A 1 YEAR OLD TO SUCK IT UP WHILE IT'S MOSTLY THE WAY TO LET HER FEELINGS KNOWN?!?!?!?!?! (Other than that, she speaks baby language, obviously) And I am acknowledging more and more that that sister ALWAYS takes my moms side, even if logic isn't on my mom's side, mostly to me... (The sister I'm talking about is 25 y/o btw) Like she wants me to be *Mothers name here (Not mentioning my mothers name for privacy reasons)* Jr/v2 instead of Jordi A (Well, if that's the case, I fucking don't agree, teens are different from back then and are more rebellious. Even strip me of my surname and just be Jordi from now on if it has to lol.)

Okay, enough, I've stomped a mudhole in this thread (lol jk), so yeah, PM/VM me if you want to reply/show support to it.


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 13th 2013, 05:19 PM

My sister is acting like a emotional sadist... Godverdomme.

She first tell me to smile when I really... REAAALLLLLYYY am not in the mood for it, I use a overreacting, sarcastic smile to own her (As in owned). But she even tells her two young daughters I'm uncle of (One of 4 years old and one of 1 year old) to suck it up.

HOW IN THE GODVERDETYFUS COULD YOU TELL A 1 YEAR OLD TO SUCK IT UP WHILE CRYING MOSTLY THE WAY TO LET HER FEELINGS KNOWN?!?!?!?!?! (Other than that, she speaks baby language, obviously) And I am acknowledging more and more that that sister ALWAYS takes my moms side, even if logic isn't on my mom's side, mostly to me... (The sister I'm talking about is 25 y/o btw) Like she wants me to be *Mothers name here (Not mentioning my mothers name for privacy reasons)* Jr/v2 instead of Jordi A (Well, if that's the case, I fucking don't agree, teens are different from back then and are more rebellious. Even strip me of my surname and just be Jordi from now on if it has to lol.)

Okay, enough, I've stomped a mudhole in this thread (lol jk), so yeah, PM/VM me if you want to reply/show support to it.


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 14th 2013, 01:27 AM

You know i can't say no to people, you know that if i could have i would have said no. You use it against me all the time and you find it funny, well i don't. You ask me just to make yourself feel better, you feel like you have given me a choice, when you know it doesn't work like that for me.
One day i might be able to say no to someone, maybe even you, but until then, "yeah".
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 14th 2013, 07:07 AM

MY PARENTS ARE SOMETIMES JUST SO... GAH!

THEY MAKE ME WANNA... I DON'T EVEN... UGH!
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 14th 2013, 07:24 PM

I've got to write it all out tonight, so I can remember the conversation from a few nights ago. That was random .

Anyway, "I'll be back, I'm taking your brother." Of course you are. "Oh." "Did you want to go? I'll tell him that I'll take you." "No, take him." "It's no big deal." "Mom. Just take him." "Don't do this to me today. Do you want anything?" "No." You can't buy my love, you have to show me that you care.


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 14th 2013, 07:30 PM

WHAT PART OF I CAN'T TAKE THIS CLASS WITH THAT WOMAN DOES THE UNIVERSE NOT UNDERSTAND??!! I e-mailed you for a reason so you'd better FUCKING answer me, but even if she is teaching again I'm stuck with her because the other section is full. I felt like when I switched myself back to this section that I was screwing myself over and I WAS apparently so something had better change because she makes me want to kill myself and I REFUSE to go through that again! It looks like you may have been looking out for me after all, next time you might want to tell me so I don't undo your work in my favor. You can expect an e-mail too.

Edit: e-mails sent, not expecting an answer back from either of you, but either way it's too late. I still think this was just a coincidence and not me accidentally reversing something you put in place to protect me, but if I'm wrong about that I don't expect you to switch me back again. I either want a situation set up where I DO NOT deal with her or I want OUT of her class in a way that doesn't fuck up my entire life because she wants to be a bitch. I very reluctantly gave her a second chance and she blew it, in fact it was worse than the first one so I'm borderline REFUSING her a third. If I end up stuck as I suspect I will be, I will ask you to talk to her. I excused you from that offer on the assumption that I would never have to deal with her again, so I'll take you up on that now before I punch her in the face and end my career before it starts.

I am in fact stuck with her, but now the guy is saying that he doesn't have me listed in his section, which is weird because that's what my schedule says. I hope I have a section of this class to take because it will screw up my entire life if I don't.


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 14th 2013, 08:49 PM

I hate this body. I want to die.


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 14th 2013, 11:09 PM

Honestly, this is a hot mess. We all need to chill out and calm down. Stop yelling. We're just kids. We make mistakes. So please shut up.


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 15th 2013, 01:59 AM

too much too much too much to write out or even deal with

yeah it's your one-year anniversary bUT GUESS WHAT I REALLY DON'T FUCKING CARE. OKAY? Did you fucking think about that? I want absolutely nothing to do with you and your stupid boyfriend now because you just can't keep your fucking mouth shutttt like yeah I know I talk a lot about Robert because he's the only thing that makes me happy and I get that maybe Alex does the same for you but did you ever fucking stop and think that I get jealous? Did you? No. So please please please please please please no more today okay no more because if I hear his name out of your mouth one more time I will fucking punch you and I know you think I'm kidding.

Excuse me? You're going to laugh at me and tell me I'm wrong because I said I think he's perfect. he is. to me. And I don't fucking care if you think he is. Yeah, he can be an asshole. But I can be a bitch. And apparently so can you. He is not perfect but he is to me and he has shown me you don't have to be perfect to everyone to be perfect to one person and I don't have to be perfect to make him smile. I think he knows I'm not perfect. But I don't think he cares. why the fuck does that matter to you? you stupid fucking bitch. say that to me again and I will punch you.

Fine. FINE FINE FINE FUCKING FINE. I will stay in Spanish. Even though I am struggling. Since apparently you guys know my mind better than I do.


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 15th 2013, 03:39 AM

Why don't YOU shut the fuck up and let me be happy? You're so self absorbed. I won't be quiet about how happy I am because it makes you jealous. That is fucking absurd. Grow the fuck up. Getting mad at me for having a boyfriend is fucking retarded. STOP. STOP IT. GOOD FUCKING GOD, BITCH.
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 15th 2013, 04:52 AM

about one of my so called friends.
You think that you've had it worse than me? That's funny. You don't even know me like you think you do. You don't know the things I've been through, what has happened to me, nothingAnd you're saying you have it worse than me. Do you have scars on your body? Ever tried to end your life? Ever been to a therapist? Ever had so many people lie to you, that you've learned to trust no one? Ever had your mind scream at you to harm yourself? Ever felt so alone, that the only thing to save you was the music you listen to? No. I didn't think so. Don't you EVER say you have it worse than me. There are people who have it worse than you. The world doesn't revolve around you. And I'm glad that you walked out of my life. There's going to be someone much greater than you I will find.


bullshit, you fucking miss me.
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 15th 2013, 12:41 PM

Why am I going there? There. Acting like I'm less of a human than you because your going to a $50,000 a year school where as I'm going to a $25,000 a year school. You are no greater than me. You are no better than me. You may (or may not) have a better mind than me, but just because you go to a more money hungry school than me does not mean you will be more knowledgeable, more productive, or more superior than me. You are my equal - get use to it.


"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
— Malala Yousafzai
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 15th 2013, 06:18 PM

I'm alone, I'm worthless, I'm hopeless, I'm an ugly, unwanted, pathetic freak.
I can feel myself falling backwards.
Its going to happen, I'm gonna break, I can't do this anymore....
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 16th 2013, 03:17 AM

I'm shaking. Are you seriously going to say that? I'm not bad for having sex. Especially because it wasn't wanted. Not all sex is consensual. Do your research. Think before you speak. I hate it when people joke about this kind of stuff.


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


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Re: Screaming thread. - August 16th 2013, 04:15 AM

I would kill for an answer from you, but I know one isn't coming. PLEASE FIX THIS or at least agree to meet with me again to sort it out, even if you did protect me and you have to yell at me for undoing it, I can explain how and why it happened. I don't want to have to file a complaint to get away from her, but I'd be within the time limit and it would be possible for me to do so. If I would have to delay my entire life for it though, it's not worth it.

I don't know how I'm still not in your section, because my schedule says I am. I'm telling the truth, I want this fixed NOW and I'd better be registered for this class in either section this doesn't make any sense.


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Last edited by Kate*; August 16th 2013 at 07:14 PM.
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 16th 2013, 07:15 PM

No. Just stop. They're not just a band. They will never be just a band to me. Don't ever, ever, EVER say that to me again. These people have saved my life countless times. They save their fans, they care about us. Their music actually means something. If you think they're just a band, don't even talk to me.


bullshit, you fucking miss me.
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 16th 2013, 10:20 PM

I hate being ignored.
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 16th 2013, 11:13 PM

Triggered triggered triggered triggered just kill me now...
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Re: Screaming thread. - August 17th 2013, 12:55 AM

Why do you keep thinking no one fucking cares? They probably do. Just because someone doesn't text you back, doesnt mean they don't fucking care about you. They are just busy.

Why don't you just die already?
(This is about myself if you didn't notice)





From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How all my worst fears are letting out
He said, "Why put a new address on the same old loneliness?"
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
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